Fix My Heart
by TjRythum
Summary: It hurts when your 15 year and running crush throws your affection back in your face. Most people would become depressed, but Iruka - Iruka is out for revenge. Continuation story to Fix Me:Gently but can be read alone YAOI Feat: KakaIru and IbikiXIru
1. Take a chance

**III'MMMM BBBAAACCCKKK! Anyone miss me? For those that did, a story and kisses! For those that didn't, mah, you can still read the story.**

**This is the continuation of Fix Me:Gently. If you haven't read it I think that's fine, it just might be a lot more fun if you have. **

**This story proudly holds all the WARNINGS my other stories do: a deliciously hot Iruka as well as swearing and other words your mother (and mine) told us not to use, drinking and ****YAOI****. Don't like? Get out before I sick my bunnys and Tsume's dog's on you.**

**Oh, I realize **_**after**_** writing 15 pages that if I was following the time line like I wanted to Asuma would have been dead, but at this point I was too lazy to go back and fix it soooo…. *Throws her arms in the air and summons up a lightning storm with her bunnys doing a war dance around her* Live Asuma-san! LLLIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO****. A very sad thing I know, I'm sure all of us fangirls (and boys) could tell him a thing or two about how to write his characters better.**

**This story is dedicated to Pink domo and theshadowvisor. Hope you guys like it!**

** XoX  
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_Take a chance & never let go_

_Risk everything…lost nothing._

_Don't worry about anything anymore._

_Cry in the rain and speak up loud._

_Say what you want and love who you want._

_Be yourself and not what other people want to see._

_Never blame anyone if you get hurt._

_Because you took the risk and you decided,_

_Who was worth the while._

_ XoX  
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_You can do this! You __can__ do this_

Iruka hunched his shoulders and hugged his arms tight around his body

_Come on you coward, you're talking about __walking past the guy_ _not going up and kissing him or something, it shouldn't be this hard!_

Biting his lower lip Iruka moved his gaze back to the person standing across the park. The tall, muscled body was held with relaxed grace, long legs crossed in front of the powerful form that was braced against the wall by broad shoulders, he was wearing casual cloths since it was a holiday and the toned body stood out incredibly in the army green tank top and tight black jeans, the mask was still there but a patch had replaced the hitai-ate.

Ok, so he had a crush on Hatake Kakashi, who the hell didn't?

Ya – who the hell didn't.

Iruka glanced down at himself and inwardly moaned in hopelessness. Sure it was a holiday, but of course he was still working, sure he wasn't wearing his normal uniform but he also wasn't wearing his own cloths ether.

Dark beige cargo pants that he guessed were Genma's since they stayed on his hips better than Raidou's would, the shirt –which was an off blue in colour – was _defiantly_ Rai's, he was certain of it since the fabric bagged around his slender form and he kept having to push the shoulders back up from where they wanted to slid down to on his arms.

_I must look like I borrowed my big brothers cloths, which technically I did but I had no choice!_

Feeling quite miserable Iruka ducked to the side and hid his small form behind a tree. Taking a deep breath he snuck another look at the man who had been his crush for the last 15 years.

They were in Konoha's central park, it was the city's birthday and it was gorgeous out so everyone had headed outdoors – picnic baskets in hand – to celebrate the special day.

Kakashi was currently standing beside one of the gazibos, beer in hand, talking to Asuma, Aoba and two other male Jounin he knew only by sight. Kurenai, Tsume and two other Kounichi were standing by the picnic table they had dragged over to one of the park Bar-B-Q pits, which was now emitting a good solid column of smoke.

And he – he was playing 'trusty Iruka'…again.

Ha _had _been planning to spend the day on his balcony, just having time to himself, catch up on some non-work related reading, maybe watch a movie he hadn't seen in a while. That _had_ been the plan until Suzume had shown up and pleaded to him to help her with the children games for the celebration some of the parents had asked her to set up. She had done so only to find out the day of that all her helpers had gone and made other plans leaving her with 50 something kids to deal with on her own.

She had looked so ready to cry when he'd opened the door of course he had said yes.

Now it was just past 5 and after 4 and a half hours of games and races all the kids had gone back to their families and cooking suppers while the exhausted Suzume had headed home, after giving the small brunette a very big grateful hug and kiss.

So Iruka – now very tired, bruised and sore – was heading home too, with every intention of collapsing once he got there. Only one problem; his house was on the other side of the park now full of people who knew him and would want him to stop and visit.

Oh, and walking past Kakashi was a problem too, don't ask _why_ it was a problem, it just was.

His stomach growled, reminding him that he had used way more calories that he'd had to spare that afternoon and that whatever Tsume was roasting in the pit smelt very good. Damn, he just wanted to go home.

With hopeful need for food and rest in mind Iruka squared his shoulders and slipped out from behind the tree.

But, as predicted, not two steps away from his cover he heard voices calling his name, Asuma's deep brass and Kurenai's soft chime were distinctive and recognizable. Releasing a sigh Iruka made his way over to the group of Jounin, managing not to limp when he put his weight on his left leg.

Hopefully he could just say hi and chat for a few then escape for home, he was friends with Kurenai and Tsume and liked Asuma but he didn't really know the others, oh, and then there was Kakashi, but he wasn't going there.

"Hello Asuma-san, how are you?" Iruka smiled as he looked up at the big man, trying to ignore the curious and appraising looks the other 4 males were giving him.

"How am I?" Asuma laughed and reached out to pull him the last few feet he had deliberately _not_ taken as they placed him in the middle of the powerful group.

"How are you sensei?" Kakashi's dark eye glittered as it swept over the smaller man's frame.

"Cause frankly ya look like shit" the Jounin laughed at Aoba's brass comment while Iruka grinned sheepishly, not sure how to respond, if he was with his own gang of friends he would have shot back with a jib but he didn't know Aoba very well or where the boundaries with this group were.

"Run over by a hoard of wild beasts more like" the cocky cant came from behind him just before an arm draped over his shoulder and pulled him back against a solid but curved body. Tsume; an incredibly strange woman who always treated him like they knew each other better than they really did – granted, he had taught her son to read, liked and was liked by her dogs and his mother had been her best friend. So really he guessed she thought of him as a sort of son, which was either very honoring or very scary.

Luckily – thanks to Anko – he was used to being casually touched, so he didn't start out of Tsume's hold when the older woman pressed his back flush up against her body. Instead he forced him muscles to relax and tilted his head back carefully until he could see the woman's face, her pointed teeth drawn back in a broad smile.

"Hello Tsume-san. What wild beasts would you be talking bout?"

Tsume's deep barking laugh echoed through the park "Tsume-san' he says, Ruka love you're too polite to an old bitch like me" a hand smoothed through his hair and he felt his hair tie give the moment before the long dark locks came tumbling free.

_Oh, wonderful, now am I not only wearing big brothers cloths I actually look like a teenager_

He felt a blush start to rise at Aoba's teasing whistle while Tsume's fingers continued to comb through his hair

"I – umm, Ts-Tsume-san could you not do th- ow"

His plea was cut short when the clawed fingers found a knot and pulled his head back under the force of their tug, causing the back of his head to hit the side of her shoulder and the 5 watching Jounin to wince.

"Oop, sorry" Tsume soothed a hand over the spot then moved it down to rest on his hip "The wild beasts being those ungrateful little brats you and what's her name were chasing around all afternoon. Kury and me saw you"

Iruka looked over the see 'Kury' and the other two females had come over and were now standing with the males, he also saw that even if Tsume hadn't had one arm draped across his chest and the other placed firmly on his hip he would now be surrounded and very trapped by the group of 9 Jounin.

"Little brats?" one of the females he didn't know with short curly blond hair and dark blue eyes tilted her head toward him "You were running the children's games?"

"And then some!" Kurenai smiled at him form her spot beside Asuma "There must have been 50 of them at least, your leg ok Ruka? That one boy practically body slammed you into the rocks."

"Ya, its fine" _least I think so_. He hadn't had any time to check it after he got 'body slammed' by the very solid 12 year old who must have been related to Chouji. It stung a bit so he guessed minor bruising was the case.

Looking up he saw most of the Jounin frowning, Kakahsi's eye was narrowed and Asuma seemed to be checking him for signs of injury. Kakashi flicked a hand toward his left leg, the words 'there, you can see the stain' were muttered quietly at the other 4 males. Iruka held up his hands, the reassurance of "I'm fine really" were almost out of his mouth when all in a moment Aoba was kneeling on the ground in fount of him, pushing his pant leg up.

The bulky man let out a low whistle "How long you been walking on this Sensei?"

Iruka opened his mouth to snap that he was fine and didn't need help with a banged up knee when he looked down, saw what Aoba was talking about and swallowed the sharp words instantly.

Somehow he had managed to skin the enter left side of his knee and split a long gash down the length of his calf, stopping at the top of solid leather boot that seemed to have protected the rest of his leg and his foot from the scar worthy cut.

One problem; they weren't his boots.

Hopefully they wouldn't notice that.

He gave a yelp of protest when he felt himself being picked up and moved to the wooden picnic table where he was set down and set upon before he could say anything. Tsume was in front of him now and was carefully removing the boot while Kurenai and the other female with long dark purple hair stood behind her as they unwrapped a length of bandage from the purple haired woman's arm.

The other Jounin had moved too and were now standing nearby, watching and still surrounding him.

_Don't Jounin have anything better to do then this?_

A sharp shock of pain made him gasp and turn his attention back to Tsume who was running her fingers over the wound

"Well, the good news is since the fabric didn't break there's no rocks or anything in the wound, bad news is it's a damn good cut and he'll be limping a week at least. Kashi, you want to bind it? You've always been better at it than me"

Iruka felt his face heat when the silver crown nodded and the tall man moved forward to kneel in front of him.

"I-I can do that Kakashi-san"

The protest had sounded stronger in his mind, as it was Kakashi only smiled and shook his head as took the white cloth from Kurenai.

"It's fine sensei, I have no objections" as if to prove his point the long pale fingers skillfully streaked up his leg playfully, making Iruka fight the urge to hunch his shoulders and moan.

Legs, sides and hair; three very sensitive places on his body that would have him turned to putty if played with for too long.

Now he _really_ didn't want a group of Jounin who all seemed to have no qualms about touching him to know _that_.

Kakashi repeated the movement and he couldn't stop the shudder in time, the copy nin paused for a moment, a curious light in the dark grey eye that slowly turned smug when the genius mind realized what had caused the reaction.

Iruka ducked his head forward, glad at least that his hair would hide his blushing face. He was surrounded by Jounin who insisted on touching him, had discovered his ninja skills were so low he'd gotten his leg split open by a 12 year old and he was wearing girl's boots.

Someone kill him please?

"Maa, sensei" Kakashi's voice and a soft tug of linen on his leg made him look back up at the grey orb

"Y-yes Kakashi-san?"

The orb curved up into an U as the copy nin tilted his head to the side "Not the insult your fashion sense but may I ask whose cloths your wearing?"

The blush was back, hotter than before, Aoba half teasing comment of "They your boyfriends?" didn't help much ether. Tsume plunked herself down on the wood beside him and threw an arm around his shoulders, pulling him back up against her "What's this now? Who managed to snatch you up and not tell anyone?"

"N-no one" Iruka struggled to breath normally as Kakashi – now done with his task of binding the wound – had gone back to running his fingers up and down the small, toned lag, dark eye never leaving the scarred face while he waited for the sensei to answer.

"I don- don't have a boyfriend, there Rai's, and Genma's. I don't own very many cloths anymore cause everyone 'borrows' things, indefinitely, so I have to wear the stuff they leave at my place. Kakashi-san would you please stop doing that?"

Kakashi grinned but complied to his request. Standing he picked up the black leather boot and examined it.

"They take your shoes too?"

"Yup"

"So, whose are these?"

"Anko's" he was probably wearing her underwear too, but they didn't need to know that.

One of the Jounin snorted "So, either Anko's got big feet or you've got girls legs"

Iruka felt his temper bubble and whipped around to send a jib back at the other man, when he remembered he didn't _know_ the guy and everyone there outranked him. He snapped his mouth shut and looked back down at his lap.

When he thought about it now most of the gang he usually hung out with outranked him too. Rai, Gen and Anko were all Tokubetsu Jounin, Naruto, who was almost 20 now and well on his way to being Hokage and Ibiki, who had surprisingly joined the group after his breakdown in the chuunins house a few months earlier. Kotetsu and Izumo were the only ones the same rank and they didn't come that often and when they did, they never left his side, confirming his suspicion they were only there to be with him.

So honestly, he was used to being forward with those outside of his rank, hell, he'd probably yelled at ANBU in the mission room on occasion, but something about this group was setting him on edge.

_Well, you're tired, sore, hungry, getting teased and Kakashi was touching you, wonder why your outta depth here._

Mmm, Kami bless his sarcastic mind.

Asuma seemed to have noticed his reaction and knew him well enough through his wife to know it was out of character. Iruka saw the bearded man open his mouth –probably to rebuke his friend – when the stubborn side of him kicked in to gear.

He would NOT let these Jounin push him around.

"I may have girls legs Jounin-sama but I wouldn't go around saying stuff about Anko's body if I were you, it's proven to have violent, painful and traumatizing consequences"

There was a stunned silence, broken by Tsume's howl of laughter "You tell him Ruka love, than again none of us would really miss Genyu, he's got a mouth on him and your much prettier" Tsume gulfed while Genyu flushed in good measured shame.

Glancing a look at Kurenai Iruka saw that the red eyed woman was positively beaming at him, like she was proud her little chuunin friend had edged his way into her powerful group. Maybe she was, but that didn't really make much sense to Iruka, she was probably just thinking of something happy and happened to be looking his way.

As he was still trapped with Tsume at his side and Kakashi towering above him he decided to try and escape the strange protective circle he had somehow walked into by talking to the one person he actually knew about something he was good with.

"Kurenai, where's Harzin-chan? I would think if he's anything like his dad he'd love a Bar-B-Q"

Asuma scowled in fun at Iruka's playful reminder of all the Bar-B-Q he had treated his team too. The rest of the Jounin laughed while Kurenai's smile grew wider.

"He's with Shikamaru, they went over to Chouji's so Asuma and I could have a little break."

"Shikamaru has enough of an attention span to watch Harzin?" Iruka tilted his head to the side, his brown eyes big and serious "Wow, impressive, especially since last time I saw him your little chibi was approaching Naruto level in pure hyper energy"

Kurenai blushed beautifully while Asuma let out a chuckle "You've got a point there but Shika will be fine – to an extent – he's got the entire Akimichi household helping him so we're not _too _worried"

Iruka paused to envision a –most likely – exhausted Shikamaru chasing his sensei's red eyed four and a half year old around the Akimichi clan garden while the food loving family tried to 'fatten him up' every time he stopped moving.

"Oh poor Shikamaru"

Asuma burst out laughing while his wife grinned evilly "What?" the genjisu user fringed innocence "It will be good for him and besides _he_ offered to do it`

"Doubt he'll make that mistake again" the curly blond was refilling her wine glass from one of the 6 open bottles on the table "Toast to the poor kids fate?"

Aoba nodded and pulled a new beer from the ice box "Wonderful suggestion Ali, Sensei, want an amber?"

Oh shit, they were offering him drinks; did that mean they were expecting him to stay the evening with them? More pressing problem, how to explain to the big man he didn't really drink.

"Umm, I have to say no thank you to the alcohol Aoba-san"

"Why, you a lightweight?"

He could see himself strangling Genyu, or at least hanging the man by his toes from the big oak he'd found last week, maybe spray painting his house hot pink – the non-wash off kind of course.

Kurenai must have seen the crazed light rising in the brown eyes and came to the other man's rescue "Ruka is in no way a lightweight, he's beat Raidou in shot games before, he just doesn't care for the taste and so sees no reason to drink"

Iruka smiled at Kurenai and grudgingly forgot his plans to draw scroll summons for piranhas in the man's bathtub. It really was creative though, he'd have to save it for someone special.

Thankfully the Jounin seemed to have taken it graciously as Aoba shrugged, popped the cap off the beer and swigged it himself before going back to digging in the cooler, while Tsume finally removed her arm from around him and went to check on the Bar-B-Q pit, Genyu and Ali had started talking to the other male and Kakashi had slipped into Tsume's old spot while the purple haired female joined Kurenai and Asuma closer to him.

Iruka stiffen as soon as Kakashi had sat down and moved casually into his space, he saw Kurenai open her mouth to speak when the purple haired woman stepped forward and gave him an awkward bow, stating "Ùzuki Yugao, nice to meet you"

Yugao, why did that sound – ah yes, a Jounin who had only recently started taking A and B ranks from the mission room, meaning she was an ANBU who had only just gotten out of the black op world. No wonder she was still awkward and shaky around other people.

Well, he would do what he could.

"Yugao-san" Iruka nodded his head respectfully to the woman – he couldn't get up to bow, Kakashi's legs were blocking his "Nice to meet you finally, I've seen you in the mission room but never had the chance to ask your name"

She looked shocked for a moment, like it had never occurred to her that he might recognize her from anywhere, she seemed to take a little while to decide of it was ok or not but then she smiled – it was still awkward but there seemed to be less effort behind it – nodded her head and then walked over to the other three, satisfied with her new socializing for the day.

"Here! I _knew_ I had brought some! Damn my hands are cold now."

Iruka turned to look over at Aoba who was beaming, a light green bottle held in one dripping wet hand.

"I threw it in case someone wanted a shandy "

He strode over and proudly showed off the bottle of sprite he must have spent the last few minutes digging through the ice for. Iruka saw Kurenai roll her eyes while Asuma furrowed his brows in what looked like confusion, Iruka joined him there, though he didn't really know Aoba he'd heard about the man from others and everyone was clear on the fact that, though he was not lazy, he rarely went out of the way for someone unless they were a best bud or he expected to get something from them.

He certainly didn't count in the 'best bud' category so that meant Aoba wanted something from him, not a very comforting thought to say the least.

More confusing was how Kakashi had gone ridged beside him; he glanced over to see the dark eye masked in warning that was directed at the other Jounin. That was weird, so, Kakashi knew what Aoba wanted and didn't approve? Even more then less than comforting.

Aoba had noticed Kakashi's glare by now and nervously shifted on his feet a moment before brightening again "I'll just leave it here then" was said cheerily as the glass bottle was set down on the wood table just as Tsume called "Grubs Up!" to the group.

Seeing the chance to politely escape Iruka straightened and tried to force his legs out from where they were trapped behind Kakashi's sprawled ones.

"I'll head off then and let you have your supper, Kakashi-san if I could have my boot back-"

"WHAT?" Tsume's exclamation cut him off "Leave just cause chows ready?" she stomped over and gave him a glare that made him finally understand why Kiba had always talked about his mother in feared reverence.

"You've been chasing pups around all afternoon and I've got more than enough food, it's not like you eat as much as pork chop here" one clawed fist moved and socked an unsuspecting Aoba in the gut "Or chimney" a clawed finger pointed at Asuma who looked like he was fighting the instinct to block "You're staying" was said with so much force and command that Iruka's training kicked in and the response "Yes ma'am" came out meekly before he could stop it.

The surrounding Jounin all looked a little surprised at the response until they realized what had caused it, Kakashi chuckled and saluted Tsume with two fingers while the spiky haired woman growled at him before grinning at the chuunin, sharp canines flashing slightly in the light.

"Good, Kury help me with the chow, Genyu move the drinks off the table and make room, Kakashi, unless you plan of eating it or wearing it give Ruka Anko-chan's boot back"

The gathered Jounin laughed as they moved to do as the ninkin captain had ordered, Kakashi's eye gave that funny curved smile while still gleaming with a seductive side.

"Maa, I was hoping if I hid it he'd have to let one of us carry him home"

Iruka was sure his heart stopped for a moment. Had Kakashi really just-?

"I sincerely hoped it would have been me"

He nearly jumped out of his skin when the cloth covered lips brushed again his ear, his heart was now defiantly skipping every other beat. He was, he really was. Kakashi was hitting on him.

This is what he had hoped for, for years. Honestly, he'd started liking the white haired man when they were teens, him 13 and hopelessly crushing on the handsome 16 year old, already more powerful than he ever dreamed of becoming.

15 years later he still had the hopeless crush, but had never dared to think – to hope – that Kakashi would notice him like that.

It seemed now he really was so – what the hell was he supposed to do?

Tsume saved him for the time being by charging in and dropping a whole roast turkey down in the middle of the table, it was followed by about 2 pound of roast potatoes, a bucket of veggies and dip, 3 loaves of garlic bread wrapped in foil, a plate of rare stakes and 4 blackberry pies.

Ok, so she _hadn't_ been kidding when she'd said there'd be enough food.

"Tsume this looks amazing!"

Iruka was pleasantly surprised when the tough woman tinged a pale pink at Kurenai's compliment.

"Well, it's not what they'll be serving at the Akimichi's but it will have to do"

It was said with a bit of a hotty air and Iruka couldn't resist grinning at the clan leader, she was right, it was in no way the fancy spread Choji's mother was no doubt serving, it was the simple, wholesome spread of an Inuzuka and he had to say he preferred it.

He told the woman so when she moved close enough to him so he could whisper in her ear. Apparently her cooking skills were a hidden weak spot because he'd never seen the spiky haired Jounin blush like that.

Everyone just stepped up to fill their plates – with the exception of him, he was handed a heaping plate full by the beaming chef herself – and stood back to talk – again with the exemption of him as he was still stuck sitting on the bench, Tsume on his right, one leg casually draped over his and Yugao on his left, not touching him but apparently she decided he was fine and wouldn't attack her at a moment's notice. He had offered his seat to Kurenai but Tsume had growled when he'd tried to move, causing the red eyed Kounichi and her husband to give him sympathetic but amused looks.

Kakashi had filled his plate and disappeared into the shadow of the gazibo to eat in peace. It must have been a normal thing for the group as they mostly just ignored him and let him have his space.

Iruka was mildly glad, now he had more time to sort through the panic that was Kakashi hitting on him.

Was the Jounin just teasing? Or was he serious? If so was the man going for a date or a one night stand? His heart skipped a beat at the thought of a date but ached the next at the prospect of a one night fling. Would he be able to bare something like that? To finally have his crush with him – and know it meant absolutely nothing to the other man.

He speared another potato on his fork and glanced back over at the man in the shadows.

Would the pain be worth finally knowing what it was like?

Iruka turned his gaze back to his still half full plate, there was no way he could eat any more of it but he didn't want to upset Tsume by giving it back. He really should have just filled his own plate with an amount he could have finished but everything had happen so damn fast!

"You done with that?'

Apparently they were playing musical chairs with him as center, he glanced up to see Aoba now slouching in the seat to his right, he looked around for Tsume and spotted her tearing into the turkey remains in true Inuzuka style.

Looking back at Aoba he noticed the man staring at his plate hopefully, he laughed, relived and thankful, and handed it over to the big man.

"If you want it help yourself, I really can't eat anymore"

The Jounin happily accepted the plate and began to devour the remaining contents as soon as it left the sensei's hands. After a moment he slowed and glanced over at the younger male out of the corner of his eye.

Iruka, aware he was under scrutiny, shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Looking around he realized most of the Jounin had separated back into groups of male and female with the exception of Tsume who was now demolishing the stakes, Yugao who was still sitting on his left side but seemed to have zoned out, happily humming into her half eaten piece of pie, Kakashi who was still just watching from his shaded spot and of course Aoba who was now almost done finished cleaning the plate and seemed to be the only person now paying attention to him.

_Well, it always could have been Genyu._

"Yes Aoba-san?"

It was an abrupt question but brought to light that he knew the other man was staring at him. The big shoulders shrugged and the Jounin leaned closer so Iruka could smell the beer in his breath.

"I was just wondering – two things actually"

He braced himself for whatever strange creepy questions the Jounin might ask and told himself to be nice and try to answer-

"Are you a shemale?"

And not scream '**WHAT?' ** at the top of his lungs.

A crazed look must have flashed across his face because Aoba seemed to realize he'd hit a nerve and tried to backpedal.

"Sorry, is that word offensive? I can't pronounce the fancy medical one"

Iruka sighed and ran a hand through his hair, fighting the urge to slam his head against the picnic table. Glancing over he saw Yugao still humming softly, her eyes slightly closed and misty, he wasn't going to be getting any help from her. Sighing again he looked back over at Aoba, he shouldn't get mad, it was an honest question – sort of.

_I can't believe I'm really doing this, only a Jounin would ask something like that._

"I really wouldn't know Aoba-san, my parents died when I was 9 so if I am they never told me. Why? Does it matter?"

Did it? He always had known he had a more feminine figure with his smaller, slender body and more compact muscles, he knew very well his back and hips were more curved and his eyes just big enough to make his whole face look softer but that was just physical appearance, the fact he could do things like cook and sew were due to his mother and having to make all his own meals from the age of 10, it was just part of who he was, just like Genma not being able to make instant ramen without setting something or himself on fire or Anko not being able to look at the colour pink without gagging was fine – a bit strange but fine. It was a matter of personality, Tsume was in no way a 'normal' woman in the sense of the word but she was a still a very fun and interesting person.

He stopped his musing and went back to the real world when Aoba started talking again, a slightly panicked tone in the deep voice.

"No! No of course it doesn't matter! I was just curious that's all"

_Who just asks stuff like that out of curiosity? Oh right, I'm talking to a Jounin._

Iruka brushed aside the thought and waved his hand in dismissal at the man's shameful tone

"That's fine; it's just not what I was expecting you to ask. You said there were two things? What's the second?"

Aoba squinted at him a moment before leaning back in.

"How old are you?"

Now that was easily answered "28"

Aoba's eyes widened to the extent Iruka was worried they'd fall out

"Holy shit! 28? Really? Your shitting me, you've got to be!"

"Why? What must Iruka-san be doing Aoba-san?" Yugao had finished her pie and snapped out of her day dream in time to hear the last part of the big man's exclamation.

Aoba was unfazed by the woman's strange way of speaking and instead placed his big hands on Iruka's slender shoulders and turned the smaller male toward the ANBU.

"Here Yugao, going just by sight, how old do you think the sensei is?"

Yugao blinked owlishly for a moment before deciding she would play the silly game. Reaching out a delicate hand she hooked her fingers under the mocha toned chin and raised the small head slightly so she could see better.

"Just by looks? Mmm – 19"

"SEE?" Aoba shook him "See? What's the secret sensei, to looking 9 years younger?"

Iruka was blushing furiously and was once again unsure how to reply, also Yugao still had him in her grip and was showing no signs of letting go "I-I don't know. Umm, Tsume-san took my hair tie?"

Well that _was_ the biggest problem; he always looked younger with his hair down. He gasped when Yugao let go of his chin in favor of running her painted fingers through his hair.

He bit his lip to stop a moan.

_First my legs now their playing with my hair! Someone! Help me!_

The dainty hands gathered the chocolate locks and bundled them up for a moment before letting them fall back into place around his face.

"Mmm, he's right, having the hair down makes him look younger" Yugao frowned thoughtfully before smiling again "He has really soft hair" was stated happily while the dainty fingers continued to comb lazily through the dark strands.

_Gah! No! Stop! Now! I need you to stop now!_

Despite his best efforts to resist he found himself leaning forward slightly in response to the touch. His eyes were closed so he couldn't see Aoba's look of glee at the discovered weak spot and Yugao's happy surprise at having another human being respond positively to her touch.

"More pie!"

Tsume's call pulled Iruka out of his trance while Yugao hands retreated in shock and Aoba jumped up at the prospect of more food.

Glancing around Iruka noticed it had started to get dark and many of the families had begun to pack up, mothers, fathers and older siblings sharing the tasks of carrying empty picnic baskets and sleeping little ones. He spotted a few of the 'pups' from the afternoon, completely spent from the day of fun, a few of the mothers saw him and smiled, no doubt grateful for the quiet evening ahead.

There was no longer anyone pinning his legs in place so he hopped up, wincing slightly when he put weight on his left leg, a firm but gentle hand on his lower back made him gasp and whip around.

"Shh, just me sensei"

Kakashi's curved eye smiled down at him, the jounin slowly removed his hand but didn't step away, deciding to just let the man be weird Iruka turned and limped his way over to Kurenai. From the sound of it she and Asuma were saying goodbye too.

"Going to save Shikamaru?"

Kurenai grinned at him "If you mean by 'save' relieve him of Hrazin yes, but we're not getting him out of the Akimichi's, I've had to talk my way out of one their dinners before and am not eager to repeat the experience. You heading home now too?"

There, that was what he had needed to hear. Kurenai was a wonderful person but she was still a jounin and so worked in her own strange system, he had discovered years ago that things went better when he waited for her permission and her question hadn't been so much a question – she knew very well that he would have left a while ago if they had let him – but a statement that she appreciated him staying the evening but since she was leaving he was free to also.

He nodded, smiling as he answered. Ok, the day hadn't gone anything like he'd planned but he still had enjoyed it very much. "Ya, if that's ok. Tsume's wonderful food and all the games are starting to take effect. I'm afraid I might pass out on the table soon here, but thank you for letting me stay"

There were chuckles and Kurenai's eyes glowed happily.

"Ah! No trouble at all sensei!" Tsume beamed at him from across the table where she and Aoba were fighting over the last pie "Would you like someone to accompany you back?"

Aoba snapped out of argument mode and turned to look at him "Company? You're heading off? Ah! Hang on I'll-"

"I'll walk him home"

Kakashi's voice was firm and clear, causing Aoba to shut his mouth quickly. Iruka felt him face growing hot, not really caring that it was _the_ copy nin he was talking to shot back.

"I can walk home myself thank you Kakashi-san, I'm not an invalid and I don't need a babysitter"

Kakashi looked surprised for a moment then switched to being pleased that Iruka was fighting him.

"I'm not saying or suggesting you do, I'm simply planning on walking back with you, we live in the same area so there's no reason not to go back together" there was a smug look in the dark eye and Iruka could practically hear the older man's thoughts.

_You can't fight that reasoning and you can't fight me, not here, not surrounded by a group of __my__ friends, so just give it up and let me win._

Damn bastard liked it when he fought cause he liked winning, Iruka sighed "Fine, have it your way" he bowed to the group and thanked Tsume again (he noticed she had his hair tie around her wrist but decided it was more trouble than it was worth to get it back) and started off across the now night filled park, not waiting for Kakashi as he did. Crush or not the man was being annoying and besides, he was the legendary copy nin, he could defiantly catch up to a limping school teacher.

"I wasn't saying you weak if that's what you thought"

Iruka rolled his eyes "Of course not. You, the Sharingan Kakashi whom has only ever known and interacted with me on a 'professional' level offers to walk the academy sensei who got taken out by a 12 year old home, why would anyone think your complying I'm weak?"

He knew sarcasm was fine when talking to Kakashi, they'd argued in the mission room enough for the older man to understand that Iruka wasn't being malicious or anything but sarcasm and personal jibs were just a part of who he was. Iruka always suspected the jounin liked it.

"In case _you _didn't notice no one else was brave enough to take on the kids games and I got injured trying to keep tabs on three 12 year olds, hand me 50 of the things and someone would die. You're not weak and I just wanted to walk with you"

Iruka bit his lip and looked up at the jounin. He was being respectful and not trying to help him walk, which he was thankful for as it would have hurt his pride more than he cared to admit. Instead the tall man just kept a slow and easy stride, letting Iruka walk the speed he could comfortably.

He shook his head "Fine, you just wanted to walk across the dark park at a limping pace with a sarcastic chuunin. Oh, and I wasn't the only person willing to help with the games, I was just the only one with no other plans but thank you for the moral support"

He heard Kakashi snort and grinned. So he had no chance with man, but he could make him laugh and was good enough for him.

They were nearing the end of the park were brightly lit houses replaced the dim lanterns. Iruka figured they'd say goodbye there as his apartment was down the street and to the left while Kakashi's house was closer to the edge of town.

He stopped on the street corner and turned to the other man, intending to bow and part ways when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"It's a nice night and I said I'd walk you home"

He looked up at the grey eye and found it calm and serious but with a spark of something he couldn't place playing just out of reach.

"What do you want?"

The words had left his mouth before he could think about them or what they meant but he watched – a shivering feeling tingling up his spine – as the grey eye took on a predatory gleam and the tall man leaned closer.

"Take me home and find out"

A shudder ran through his body and his brain shut down. The strong hands moved lower and the masked lips brushed against his skin.

"Iruka, let me take you home"

His brain finally snapped back into gear, decided the other male was standing way to close and made him try to jump away from him, 'try' being the key word as Kakashi had a very firm hold with his arms around the slender waist, so not only did Iruka not go anywhere but the action caused him bounce and slam back against the taller body.

Kakashi chuckled and maneuvered him until he was pinned against a light post. Once there and sure the chuunin couldn't escape the copy nin reached up a hand, pulled down his mask, tangled his other hand in the chocolate coloured hair, tilted the small face upwards and proceeded to kiss the younger man senseless.

Iruka's muffled moans were swallowed by the hungry lips that continued to assault his for what seemed like hours, strong teeth nibbled and bit at his lips, a hot tongue lapped and licked until every inch of his mouth had been sensitized and caressed while the hand in his hair used its grip to turn his head and give the talented mouth better access to his.

They were breathing heavily when Kakashi finally stopped, Iruka was pretty sure he was seeing stars, the fact the famous, handsome face was unmasked didn't quite register when the warm bare lips whispered next to his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Iruka, what's your house number?"

He froze what should he do? Tell? Let the copy nin have his way? Or stop it now while he still-

"No.16 Ridge Apartments"

Of course his mouth betraying everything before he could decide worked too.

If he had been able to see the jounin's face he would have seen the man's satisfied, smug grin and lust tinged eye, he felt the taller body pressed against his shudder while the pale hands left his hair to form seals.

A dizzying sensation and a puff of smoke found him pinned against the door of his apartment with Kakashi's lips happily exploring his jaw and neck. He moaned and rolled one shoulder back, not realizing until too late that this action would cause Raidou's shirt to slip back down his arm.

Kakashi's eye gleamed at the sight of more coffee toned skin to explore; like he wanted the younger inside and in privet so he could expose it all.

Hands ran down his body, searching, while Kakashi panted against his neck.

"Keys- Iruka, where are – your keys?"

"N-no keys, chukra seal. Let go?"

Iruka tugged at his arm Kakashi had in his hold, the jounin moaned in what seemed to be protest but he stepped back and let the chuunin turn to draw the symbols needed on the door.

_What the hell are you doing?_

Some – most likely – more sensible part of his mind screamed at him while he unlocked the door and he had to admit, he had no clue, he rarely did this sort of thing and even when he did he knew very clearly how the other person regarded him. He wanted Kakashi, he'd wanted Kakashi for years and from the way the other male was running hot kisses across the back of his neck it was safe to say the jounin wanted him too.

At the moment.

There was no chance the other man wanted him in the same emotional level. There was one outcome to this and Iruka knew he was going to get hurt. He shuddered and bit his bottom lip, his hand frozen in the last sign.

Kakashi paused when his body tensed, the questioning whisper of "Iruka?" had him closing his eyes before finishing the sign and opening the door, reaching back and turning he found Kakashi's lips with his and slowly began leading the older man into his small apartment.

He was tired of being sensible Iruka and sick of watching, Kakashi was here and this was real, he would pick up the pieces of his heart later.

The door was kicked shut and as soon as its wood frame slammed back into place Kakashi's attitude changed in the instant. They were alone now with no one to see, giving the jounin his chance to take what he wanted, which in simplicity was everything.

He had Iruka shirtless and against the wall before the younger male could breathe.

Iruka wasn't a slut – he didn't sleep with very many people and never with a complete stranger – but he wasn't a prude ether, he'd had enough experience to honestly say that no one had ever treated him like Kakashi. The other man's mouth was everywhere, licking, biting, tasting every inch of dark skin it could find, his body was racked with shudders and he was having trouble drawing in enough air.

Finally when the jounin paused to moved back up the smaller body Iruka managed to clear his head. Kakashi was there but the older man did not get to have all the fun, Iruka grinned as his mischievous side began to rise.

When he has been younger all the mischief had gone to pranks, but when he got older and was told to 'grow up' the sly little imp had been shut away, only to be seen by close friends and – those that got intimate with the brown eyed chuunin.

Reaching up he wrapped his arms around Kakashi's neck and drew himself up against the tall body. Kakashi's husky "what are-?" turned quickly into a surprised moan when the full lips brushed the pale skin before strong teeth bit down on the sensitive juncture between the neck and shoulder.

He bit hard enough for pleasure but not enough to mark, licking the area soothingly after he moved his hands down and slid them easily under the light green tank, fingers playing up taunt abs while he continued to gently lick and nibble at the pale neck and shoulders.

Iruka was fairly good at gauging people and because of it often – unwittingly – ended up treating people in the way they never knew they wanted. He was almost overly polite to Tsume when everyone else treated her like the tough bitch she always acted like, he was gentle with Anko when everybody else was rough, and he lectured Genma when others just rolled their eyes. Many times the main thing was to treat the other with a respect they themselves didn't know they wanted.

He's discovered years ago that the same rules applied in a physical relation. When he'd slept with Ibiki the big man had become confused and unbalanced when the control had shifted, as with his stature and reputation most people would have just let the scarred jounin have his way and be too scared to touch back.

Applying this thinking to Kakashi he guessed many of the people the Jounin slept with just assumed the man liked things rough and couldn't be bothered to think other ways.

He was pleased when Kakashi began to respond to his gentle, almost teasing touches. The sliver head rolled back while the pale hands braced against the wall, entrapping the clever little chuunin between the steel taunt arms.

Iruka didn't mind, he just pushed the tank top up farther until he was tugging on it, realizing what was wanted Kakashi slowly lifted his arms and let the little sensei remove it completely before the grey eye rolled back as the hot little mouth moved to his bared chest to continue to play.

Staying with the soft touches Iruka trailed his hands down the tall body, going tortuously slow and finding all the presser points they could, ones that made the jounin wince, shudder and moan were all used in some way while he continued to gently kiss and lick every inch of skin his mouth found.

As he'd learned with Ibiki there would most likely be a limit to how long the strange treatment could be tolerated before Kakashi would snap back and once again demand control. In a way it was a breaking point but a good one that showed something rather than taking.

A very wolfish growl followed by long fingers tangling through his hair were the signals his play was over. Kakashi emphasized this by slamming him back against the wall and tugging down hard on his hair before claiming his lips aggressively, the speed and force that Kakashi took had him helpless to do anything but dig his nails into the jounin's shoulder and bicep and surrender to the sensations, filling the room with the sound of moans and labored breath as Kakashi happily kissed the younger to oblivion.

"Iruka" Kakashi's own shallow breathing whispered against his cheek "Iruka bed now damn it or I'll take you right here"

Iruka moaned and tugged on the older man's left arm, turning the grey eye to see the open doorway on the other side of the room. He couldn't remember how they'd gotten across his living room but there'd been lots of stumbling he was sure (he assumed this from the state of the place in the morning)

Upon reaching the bed Kakashi pushed him down and eagerly crawled over top of him, bringing the thin lips back down to the mocha toned abs, the tall body shuddered at Iruka's moan. He felt the long fingers pull almost desperately at the waist band of his pants, raising his hips to help Iruka gasped as the jounin all but ripped them off his body, the sound of something more solid being thrown was heard and he nearly laughed, he'd still been wearing Anko's boots.

All mirth left however when he felt hot breath brush over his now bare crotch. He felt Kakashi's hands on his legs as the older man spread them to make room for his own body. He looked down to meet with the sight of Kakashi's lust filled eye, the grey had darkened to almost black and the gaze he was receiving had his mouth growing dry.

"You're beautiful"

Iruka's eyes widened at the words Kakashi didn't seem to realize he'd said out loud. A calloused hand ran smoothly up his right leg while the sharp nose nuzzled the inside of his thigh, causing a needy moan to escape through his lips. A low lust filled growl answered him as he reached down and hooked a finger through one of the belt loops on the jounin's black jeans, tugging on it to show what he wanted.

Kakashi quite willingly moved back up and quickly stripped off the jeans and his underwear and tossed both over the side of the bed.

Braced with his forarms on either side of the chuunin's neck Kakashi leaned down to claim the kiss bruised lips for a third time, he went slower this time, as if he was savoring the taste.

The slow pace however disappeared entirely when Iruka's imp rose again. Kakashi's surprised, husky and oh so needy groan was very satisfying in the imps opinion and the action that had caused it well worth repeating.

Dark fingers ran back down the underside of the jounins cock, then changing the position of his hand he pumped the hard length in a way he knew would send shocks of pleasure up the older man's spine.

"Fuck"

Kakashi swore and bit down on the mocha shoulder, hard. Iruka cried out on shock- _shit that's gonna leave a mark-_ and got back by repeating his previous movement.

"Damn you!"

Kakashi grabbed his hand and pinned it by his head before leaning in to whisper "You will _not_ make me come from a hand job Iruka. _I_ will make you _scream_ for more before I'm done with you"

Iruka chuckled "Is that a promise?"

Kakashi's wolfish grin was his reply as the Jounin reached over him for the drawer of his bed side table, realizing what he was looking for Iruka blushed, he did have lube there however-

"Don't do this often Sensei?" Kakashi grinned down at him, sealed tube in his hand. The blush grew hotter and he opened his mouth to snap at the older man but he never got a chance as in fluid and blinding speed Kakashi ripped the top off the plastic tube and squeezed a good amount on his hand.

All thought of speech left Iruka when he felt the first finger enter him, he squirmed, uncomfortable with the sensation for a moment until Kakashi hissed in annoyance and shifted his hand, searching for the right spot. Iruka's loud keen signaled he'd found it and the thin lips smirked happily, jabbing the spot once more had the chuunin arching his slender body into the touch and moaning in the most satisfying way, causing Kakashi to bite his lip and hurry on with his work.

The second digit was slipped in gently while Iruka pulled the Jounin in to a heated kiss, trying to distract himself from the slight unavoidable sting that grew when the long fingers began to scissor him open.

The third was added and Iruka felt it burn a bit, but he supposed that was his fault for finding a wonderful little sweet spot on the pale neck that when licked actually had Kakashi _whimpering_, course exploiting said weakness meant the jounin wasn't paying as much attention to what his hand was doing but if he kept making that noise Iruka really didn't care about a little pain.

"You little-" Kakashi's breath brushed over his face and the copy nin pulled away, gently sliding his fingers from Iruka's body he grabbed one slender hip and moved the smaller man until he could wrap his legs around the pale waist.

Iruka watched as Kakashi's eye slid shut and the silver head fell back as the Jounin ever so slowly lowered himself into his tight body. Biting his own lip at the overwhelming feeling of slowly being filled, a gasp escaped through his lips and a shudder racked his frame when Kakashi finally pushed all the way in.

The older man was panting slightly and his eye was half open and glazed as it looked back down at him "Move" his own voice sounded very breathless but it seemed to have a wonderful effect on Kakashi who closed his eye again and leaned forward, moving one hand to rest on the curve of his back. Seemingly satisfied that he was balanced and wouldn't accidently fall on the smaller male Kakashi happily obeyed the order to move and slid half way out of Iruka before slamming back in almost ruthlessly.

Iruka's pleasure filled cry echoed around the room and Kakashi groaned; repeating the movement again and again until they were both mindless from sensation and Iruka was writhing beneath the older man with every move.

Holy damn! Iruka couldn't remember the last time anything had felt this good, he couldn't consciously recall exactly where they were or how they'd got there and he couldn't seem to stop or control the sounds coming from his throat, the only thought in his head that remotely made any sense was that he wanted Kakashi to be making the same sounds.

Chocolate eyes snapped back open and before the Jounin could process the impish gleam in their depths a very loud, pleasure filled cry was drawn from his throat and he nearly lost his balance as Iruka shifted under him and rolled his hips making the older man gasp at the sensation while his vision flashed white.

Nimble fingers ran skillfully up the pale torso and back, sensitizing old scars until the taller body was shaking with need. Kakashi moan and used his grip on the dark, curved hip to reline himself until he had the chuunin screaming when he thrust into the tight little body. Moving faster the jounin nearly choked on his breath when Iruka twisted his hips again to meet his thrust, it was too much and with a feral cry Kakashi came hard.

Iruka's breathing hitched when he felt the nearly scalding heat fill him, the sight and feel of Kakashi as he hit his climax was all he needed to be sent over the edge himself, head thrown back as white pleasure took him and his cry filled the room.

He felt Kakashi slump boneless on top of him, their harsh, uneven breath mixing in the quiet dark. It took a few minutes for the jounin to move off of him and the instant he did Iruka found himself missing the heat.

"Where's your bathroom?" Kakashi's voice was soft and sleepy he almost didn't hear it, not trusting his own voice to come out eligibly he pointed to the door on the far side of the room and sat up as Kakashi rolled off of the bed and slipped through the dark doorway. He returned with a wash cloth and cleaned them both quickly before tossing the cloth away and laying back down, gathering Iruka in his arms as he did.

Not fighting but not entirely sure on what to think Iruka let Kakashi tuck his smaller form up against the tall body and pulled them both under the sheets, he was too tired to resist anyway and why would he want to? Still, he hadn't thought Kakashi would stay the night, but he wasn't going to complain.

The jounin's breathing quickly evened out but something seemed wrong, the powerful body wasn't completely relaxed, he could feel the sharp ridges of unconsciously taunt muscles under his hands and his heart sank.

Kakashi was faking.

Closing his eyes and letting his body go slack he even his breathing out too, fringing sleep and praying all the while that he suspicions were wrong and that Kakashi was always just a little tense in his sleep. He was disappointed.

After about 10 minutes he felt Kakashi shift and lips brush against his temple before the bed dipped as the jounin rolled away and got up. Staying in the gist of sleep he listened while Kakashi moved, dressing from the rustle of cloth and pulled the blankets higher over his form before he heard him move to the window and pause.

"Rida was right; you are a damn good lay"

Iruka froze and for a moment he almost forgot to breath. The window slid shut and he sat up to stare into the dark, empty room.

Rida; a jounin he'd gone on a mission with a few weeks ago, short mission turned horror so when they'd reached the hotel that was their completing point the jounin had been wound up and Iruka hadn't wanted to be in a room alone.

Rida's touches had been anything but casual, they had stated very clearly what the jounin had wanted, Iruka had willingly complied – if he had sex with him the other man would let him stay in the same bed, so really they both had gotten what they had wanted.

But because he was little most people just took it that Iruka would be bottom. Having been forced under for most of his life – even by some females – he'd learned tricks to insure he was actually doing something and not just letting another person use his body.

He hadn't done much with Rida but apparently it had still impressed the jounin enough to tell his buddies that the school teacher was a good fuck.

No wonder Aoba and Kakashi had seemed inclined to touch him.

He swung his legs out of the bed and grabbed a pair of jeans off the floor, slipped them on and headed for the main room. He still felt kind of numb, but he knew that something would happen to kick back in the emotion soo-

He walked past the big living room windows and caught sight of his bare back and the long, jagged scar that was the prominent feature. His hand clenched into fists while hot angry tears began to fall from his eyes.

Damn Kakashi, damn Mizuki, and fucking damn himself.

He tore his eyes away from his reflection and moved closer to the window so he could look out. He felt lost, used, betrayed and oh so very stupid. Why could he never learn? What was it about Kakashi that made him drop his guard and judgement? Even when the powerful man was nowhere near him, Iruka still managed to screw himself up over the guy, Mizuki was the perfect example.

His 'best friend' had been the one to ask him out, Iruka had felt charmed and as an added bonus he even looked a little like his tall masked crush, he couldn't have to copy nin so he agreed to date his best friend. It had gone fine for a while but when the physical part started to get rough enough to bruise he had gotten pissed and told Mizuki he'd be his friend but if that was the kind of sex he wanted he should go find someone with the same fetish for pain.

Don't get it wrong, he had nothing against a little rough sex but every night to the point of beginning to look abused – it had to stop. Mizuki had taken it well, least, he'd thought so, he'd backed off and stayed friendly up until the very memorable day he'd tried to kill Naruto and his Ex for that damned scroll.

Iruka sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, that wasn't Kakashi's fault, his relationship with Mizuki had been his bad judgement, and Kakashi wouldn't have even known he existed at the time. What had just happened wasn't Kakashi's fault ether; the older man couldn't have known he had a crush on him that could put Sukura's to shame.

He had no clue how much walking out had hurt Iruka.

Iruka curled up on the floor as the tears began to flow again. Pain, anger, self-pity and self- loathing mixed with the bitter truth.

He still loved Kakashi.

And he probably would for the rest of his life.

* * *

><p><strong>Yos! So? whatcha think? That is the longest chapter I have ever written and I'm going to try to make all the others bout the same length, Tsunade is now collecting bets on who actually thinks I can do it (the number isn't big)<strong>

'**Genyu' means something in Japanese but for the life of me I can't remember what…**

**If anyone didn't like and/or was offended by something in the story, tough cookies, you don't know me or the things that have happened to me in my life just I don't know yours so do us both a favor and don't waste it with flames. For those who **_**did**_** like it, Yay! hugtackles for you!**

**Later!**


	2. Go left

**Jiraiya: hello people, Tj actually had this done a week ago but for some **_**stupid moronic utterly unexplainable reason**_** she didn't post until now *glares at the teen***

**Ryth: *doesn't look at him* like I'm really going to tell you how my mind works**

**Jiraiya: Rythum, YOU don't know how your mind works**

**Ryth: …true….well, anywho, normalness; DON'T OWN NARUTO (though this story is MINE), BAD WORDS and talking bout sex, the usual and all that. Honestly I'm kinda sad more people aren't interested in this story but oh well, for my three reviews and myself I will keep writing! *beams***

**Jiraiya: enjoy the story.**

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_**When nothing goes right…**_

_**Go left.**_

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_Mmm, mangos_

Iruka hummed softly and gazed absently out of the window, watching as the first rays of light peeked over the tree tops, slowly filling the dark house with happy light.

He was curled up on the couch, legs folded close to his chest and a steaming hot mug of mango tea held between his hands. It would be around 6:30 by now and he hadn't slept at all, strange since after everything that had happened yesterday by rights he should have passed out for the next 24 hours, but he wasn't tired.

It really wasn't a good thing, he knew it would hit him at some point and he'd most likely collapse but it was a long weekend for most people and so he didn't have to do anything until Sunday afternoon , meaning he had all of today and most of the next to pass out and recover. The most he had to worry about then was if anyone showed up expecting breakfast, but he could deal with that when they came.

Iruka stopped humming and sighed, staring down at the light orange liquid in his mug before smiling softly. The other night had been –revealing, in ways he hadn't imagined. It had taken a while but he had eventually slapped himself over the head and told himself to smarten up. He was sure he was still far from ever learning when it came to Kakashi but he had also realized something's.

In an attempt to distract himself he had done the insane and sorted through all the cloths in the house, separating them into stacks of Raidou's, Genma's and Anko's. He'd also found some stuff he guessed were Naruto's. he planned on giving it all back and pleading for his own things in return, honestly, he didn't know why the group would be taking his things as Anko would be the only one who could fit into any of them but last night he'd decided enough, he wanted his own things or at least a reason for taking them in the first place.

The second reason for this –and also the second thing he realized – was that he was tired, of being alone, of being just 'a good lay' and a one night stand. He wasn't very good at being alone, which was crazy as the first and last partner he had ever had was Mizuki (that might have been the reason why) oh he'd gone on dates since then but no one had really clicked, so he'd just stopped trying all together.

But last night he had decided it was time to try again, he really was the kind of person who liked to take care of people and though he did that a lot with his group of friends or 'Moochers' as they'd jokingly dubbed themselves, he wanted more, someone he could live with, come home to, fall asleep with and know that they'd still be there the next morning.

He wasn't sure how he'd find someone, he didn't even know if he wanted a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but he supposed that was good, the only change he really had to make at the moment was opening that part of him mind, oh and he guessed he'd have to start saying 'yes' when people asked him out again.

Well that was fine, the main point was he was going to stop staring after Kakashi, something he should have done years ago. Ah, well live and learn, Iruka wasn't going to regret the past years but it was defiantly time to move on.

A thud and yell from the hall and the sound of a key being slipped in the lock alerted him to his incoming friends. Raidou and Genma had long ago taken his keys so they could let themselves in, which was why he now had to open the door with chakra. Also why he could no longer take a shower without barring the bathroom door cause apparently leaving it open was an invitation for Genma to walk in.

There were three voices arguing outside, they must have brought Naruto with them. Iruka smiled, one more person and he'd have the whole gang to feed, he really should get off the couch and start figuring out what to make the 4 other ninja for breakfast but he decided to stay where he was and enjoy the show.

"GOOD MORNING-! " Naruto burst in and practically _jumped_ toward the kitchen only to find the brown eyed big brother he was likely planning on hug tackling wasn't there to catch him and stop his downward decent. Iruka almost felt sorry for the blond, almost, but the number of times he had actually been in the kitchen and been crushed by the over affectionate act nulled most of his pity.

Genma stumbled in after the Jinchuuiki and stared bemused at the blond sprawled across the tile floor, Raidou came in last, slower than the other two and calmly put the key he had used on the door back in his coat pocket while Genma turned from staring at Naruto to looking around for the man who had not caught the blond.

"Iruka?" hazel eyes narrowed when they spotted the brunette sitting happily on the couch, tea in his hands and not looking overly worried for the young man that had just replaced his kitchen tiles.

"Morning Gen" Iruka inwardly winced, ok so he _felt_ fine, he most defiantly did not _sound _fine, his voice was low and horse, also he hadn't looked in the mirror yet and hadn't had a shower so he guessed he must have looked like he'd been attacked, he really should have put on a shirt.

Ah well, couldn't change it now.

"Are, you ok?" Rai was glaring at him with that look that meant he shouldn't lie if he knew what was good for him but Iruka simply closed his eyes and smiled.

"I'm fine Rai, great actually, I'm just moving a little slow this morning. What time is it?"

"7:00, should we-?"

"No!" Iruka put down his mug and hopped up "No, I'll make something, but do you mind waiting a little while longer while I have a shower quick?"

Genma was looking at him with worried eyes while Naruto dragged himself off the floor and was now half draped over the counter for support, a slightly dazed look in the blue orbs. Damn, how hard had he thrown himself?

"Of course we don't mind but, Ruka, did, something happen?" Rai kicked off his shoes and moved farther into the house, coming closer to the chuunin.

Iruka decided not to lie as he glided toward his bedroom. "Yes, but it's nothing, I'll be right out to take votes on breakfast k?" he smiled over his shoulder and disappeared through the door.

Ok, so that hadn't gone as smoothly as he would have liked, hopefully he could just blame it on lack of sleep. Stripping out of the jeans he'd been wearing – Anko's – he slipped into the bathroom, turned on the tap and stepped under the spray without waiting for it to warm up.

The first blast of cold was lovely and woke him up quiet affectively, it also make the slowly warming water feel all the better. Reaching for his normal citrus scented shampoo Iruka quickly began washing, already feeling calmer.

"So, who was here last night?"

Iruka rolled his eyes "Genma you're such a perv, you couldn't have waited a few minutes till I was dress to ask that? Get outta here!" he slid the glass panel open and flicked water at the dirty blond before closing it again and going back to washing the suds out of his hair, knowing full well Genma could still see him through the clear glass.

"So there was someone here?" Genma leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

"Yes, you know I wouldn't lie about something like that"

"Who?"

Iruka sighed, he really didn't want to go there, not yet, and he really hadn't wanted to have this conversation while he was in the shower. Shutting off the taps he stepped out and quickly grabbed a towel to wrap around his slender form.

Genma's brow rose "Am I making you uncomfortable?" he sounded sincere.

He just shook his head "A little, not everyone is as comfortable with their body as you are" tying the towel in place he reached for a smaller one to dry his hair with "Waffles for breakfast sound good?"

Genma frowned at him "Stop avoiding the question. Who was here?"

Iruka huffed and threw the towel into the laundry basket before reaching for his robe, he rarely hid things _from_ his friends, the only issue here was how they would react to this particular situation. Sighing he dropped the towel and wrapped the robe tight around himself, walking back out into the bedroom he grabbed the only pair of shorts he had found that he knew _he_ had bought, if Genma noticed the piles of neatly folded cloths he didn't say anything.

A hand grabbed on to his shoulder and he was spun around to face the man he had long seen as his big brother.

"Iruka, please, who was here?"

He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, bracing for the explosion "Kakashi"

Silence. Cracking one eye open he took in Genma's stunned expression for a moment before it turned thunderous "WHAT?"

Iruka shook his head and walking back out to the main room and went straight to the kitchen, pulling out bowls and ingredients while he waited for Genma to follow.

Raidou and Naruto seemed to have heard Genma's outraged yell but nothing before it and were now looking up curiously as Genma stormed back into the room.

"Kakashi!" Genma's voice was high pitched and angry. Iruka knew the anger wasn't directed at him, he'd heard Genma and Raidou's opines of his white haired crush before and though they had nothing against Kakashi himself they did have an issue with the idea of him with their 'little brother' mainly because of his reputation as a playboy and heartbreak.

He'd known the pair would be less than thrilled to find out about last night but he wasn't going to lie to them, besides, if what he had figured was true, Kakashi would be teasing Aoba about being the one to get him so they would have found out eventually and he preferred that they heard it from him and not one of their Jounin buddies.

Genma was now standing to the side of the counter, hands shaking and eyes closed while Rai stood and seemed to be trying to piece together what had just been said into some form of logic.

"How" Genma's voice had dipped in volume "How? When did you two even-?"

"I was heading home yesterday when I got roped into having supper with Kurenai and some of her friends, he walked me home and that was that. Why are you making such a big deal over this?"

"Because!" Genma move into his space and grabbed him "Because he doesn't think the way you do and he doesn't deserve you besides! You should be with someone who will see you and-"

"Genma" Iruka wrapped his arms around the blonds waist and pulled him close " Thank you but I knew what he wanted going into it, not the smartest move I've ever made but it happened, I'm not going back to it though. He probably wouldn't be interested in me again anyway" Iruka bit his lip and ignored just how much that truth hurt.

"Iruka…" he felt Genma return the hug while Raidou's charka moved closer. He smiled and lifted his head so he could see the hazel eyes.

"It was a stupid move and I know it, forgive me?" he gave Genma the pitiful look he knew always made the blond crack up. Genma grinned sadly and pressed his lips to the tanned brow.

"Of course, you're never the one I have to forgive"

Iruka laughed and gave the older man a light shove "Good, my world is still right, now move or I won't make waffles"

Genma gasped in mock horror and scrambled to get out of the way. He eyes were still dark and a bit unhappy but Iruka knew he couldn't help that, Gen and Rai wouldn't be too happy about the whole thing no matter what he said.

Rai came and slid into the seat next to Genma, a confused look on his face still as he leaned closer to his blond friend who started whispering into the other Jounins ear, obviously telling him what had happened. Naruto followed suite and stared at the three older men, a stumped look on his face.

"What's going on?"

Iruka smiled at the 20 year old "Nothing whiskers, Gen and Rai don't agree with my taste in crushes that's all"

"Oh" Naruto slipped into his own stool, still looking a bit confused "Who is your crush?"

"No one you know" He didn't want Naruto's opine of his teacher to be lowered, Naruto looked up to Kakashi and he didn't want to mess their relationship up.

"What'd they do?" there was a biting edge to the Jinchuuiki's voice, promising pain and agony to whoever messed with his big brother – another reason he hadn't said 'Kakashi' to the blond.

"They didn't do anything and even if they had I can take care of myself" Iruka glared at the younger man earning himself a guilty grin.

"I know that Nii-san, I was just wondering. So what does Kakashi-sensei have to do with it?"

Iruka froze as he was sure Gen and Rai had too, Damn Genma! Ok, Naruto wasn't an idiot, no matter how much he acted like it sometimes, but hopefully they could distract him.

"Nothing, Genma only said his name cause – he helped me the other day with –something – and he was very helpful and Genma thought I was joking, ne Gen? " Iruka kept his head down and stirred the batter harder than he needed to while he desperately tried to pass the story telling over to Genma, the Jounin had always been better at lying then him – at least when it came to Naruto.

Genma caught on and grinned at the blond "Ya, apparently he was actually _on time_ and I really can't believe that"

Iruka let out the breath he'd been holding, he knew Genma was lying by telling the truth, last week he and Izumo had been told to reorganize the file room and Kakashi – under a punishment from Tsunade – had been sent to help them, shocking them both went he was there at 5 in the morning, waiting for them at the door, they had been so pleasantly surprised that when they'd found him 4 hours later asleep in a pile of paper he was supposed to be sorting nether of them could get that mad.

It was a good cover as making something up that Naruto could repeat to said man was a very bad idea, Iruka could have kissed Genma for his simple genius but refrained and began digging through his freezer instead.

Finding what he was looking for, he grabbed the bag and slammed the door shut, forcing himself back into the peasant where Naruto was thankfully off the topic of his nii-san's crush and was now complaining about Kakashi - or Baka-sensei – loudly. Iruka smiled, he'd heard most of the stories before but it was always entertaining to pick out the little things that changed with every telling.

He dumped the bag of raspberries into the batter before checking the iron's heat. Smiling as he heard the window slide open.

"Just in time Anko" he heard the other three shift in their seats to look over at the woman he knew was there. Grabbing the batter bowl he managed to ladle out some and shut the iron before he was twirled around and kissed roughly.

He had realized after they had met when he was 14 that Anko would not be a big sister in any normal sense of the word, he wasn't attracted to her in any physical sense and he knew she was the same, but being Anko her sense of 'normal' and what friends did and did not do with each other was a bit screwed. He'd learnt long ago to just live with it, even if it meant getting French kissed by his big sister every morning.

Strange - a little creepy - but he could deal with it.

Anko swept her tongue around his mouth once more before she pulled back and grinned at him.

"Hey baby, you didn't come to the bar last night!" the kounichi pouted pitifully, not seeing Genma and Raidou's dark looks, while Iruka laughed and gave her a one armed hug.

"Sorry, I ended up helping Suzume with the children's games and completely forgot about dropping in after" he pulled the iron open and used a fork to pry the cooked waffle out and popped it on a plate which he slid into Anko place at the table "First waffle to make up for it?"

Anko whooped in delight and threw herself onto her bar stool, reaching for the peanut butter she dug her knife into the jar, not noticing she was getting more of the gooey spread on herself then the knife.

"Hey! How come she gets the first one! She was late!" Naruto protested while he eyed the steaming hot raspberry waffle as it disappeared down Anko's throat with envy.

"You won't starve to death from waiting a few more minutes, this one's almost done now shush or I'll give it to Gen" Iruka grinned when Naruto's eyes widened in horror and he slapped a hand over his own mouth. The hand was quickly pulled away however as the next piping hot waffle was tossed onto his plate, the blond gave a happy cheer before tucking in, drowning the entire plate in syrup as he did.

Raidou and Genma both smiled, content with just watching while they waited for their own food. They knew Iruka had a specific order in which he did things, Naruto and Anko were always fed first as they had the least patience, Genma got his next as one of his Jounin quirks was a hatred for being last, then Rai, who didn't care what order he was served, so long as he got food and didn't have to eat alone he was happy.

Iruka also knew the out of the whole group Raidou was the only one besides him who could actually cook – putting the other three in the kitchen ended in burns, shorted out ovens, stuff stuck to the ceiling and floor and ramen, everywhere – Rai was perfectly capable of living without the aid of other people or take out to supply his nutrition, what he hated was having no one there. In hind sight Iruka realized the red head was actually worse at being alone then he was, even if they didn't talk, Raidou just liked knowing there was someone else in the room, hence the reason he had been coming to the chuunins house for breakfast over 5 years now.

Genma bounced happily when the third waffle landed on his plate and Iruka smiled, hopefully he would forget about the whole Kakashi thing soon, he didn't want it affecting the blonds friendship with the other Jounin, he didn't think it would, especially since he had said he wouldn't look after Kakashi anymore and he meant it, no more wishing.

It would probably make his 'big brother' very happy if he did end up with someone – so long as Genma liked them that is – he'd been trying to set Iruka up for years, but then again the blond did that with everyone.

A fourth waffle was dropped onto Radiou's plate, the red head smile and nodded thanks before tarring into the fluffy treat without any of his normal reserved attitude, only adding a little butter to enjoy it.

Glancing back around the counter bar Iruka smiled when he saw Anko, her eyes closed as she savored her last mouth full and Naruto, who was now staring at the syrup puddle on his plate mournfully. Stifling a snort of laughter Iruka focused on the iron, fighting back the need to yawn as he blinked sleepily, ok straying up all last night had probably been a dumb thing to do but that did remind him-

"I sorted through all the cloths in the house and separated them out" the other four ninja looked up at him in surprise "Naruto, I found some stuff I believe you had mentioned you were missing, and the rest of you must have had to buy new wardrobes to replace all the stuff I found, speaking of wardrobes, the shorts and robe I'm wearing seem to be all that's left of mine"

The reactions were great, Naruto with an 'oh' kind of look as he realized where some of his favorite stuff had gone. Raidou blushed and stared pointedly at the counter top, Genma chuckled and scratched at the back of his neck nervously while Anko gained a very cocky grin and glint in her eyes.

"Any idea's to where the rest of my stuff is?" He's question was met with silence and a confused look from Naruto – who had nothing to do with the clothing theft.

"Well, uh-"

Raidou sighed and cut Genma off "Back in the thrift stores – well, that's were mine and Gen's went, Anko's I've got no clue but then she can actually wear your cloths so-"

Anko mock pouted "But I like Ruka's stuff, it's soft and warm and- "she blush and looked down at her lap "and I wear them when I want a hug and no one's there"

Iruka blinked in surprise, knowing Anko wasn't the kind to made heart felt confessions lightly, he smiled and moved around to the females stool so he could throw his arms around her neck "Aw come on, you can always come to get hugs"

He could sense Anko grinning happily as she relaxed back into his hold for a moment before he yelped and sped back to the waffle iron which was starting to omit smoke. The waffle was a bit crispy and black – not that Naruto would ever care, in this life or the next. The charcoal tinged waffle was flipped onto the blonds syrup drenched plate where it was instantly soaked in even more of the sugary substance.

"So, Anko wears the stuff she takes, I'm fine with that, her's is really the only stuff comfortable for me to wear as well anyway, besides she's got better taste than the two of you" Anko snorted and smirked at the male Jounin " But the reason for getting rid of my things was-?"

Raidou went back to staring at the counter top, not looking up at his younger friend while Genma seemed to be holding back a guilty grin.

"Well, ya see-" the blond stopped grinning and looked in to the brunettes eyes seriously "ok, I'll be honest, we hoped it would make you go out and get yourself some new things, like some nice stuff that didn't come out of a garage sale free box. I mean come on Ru! I met you when you were what? 17? And 8 years later you hadn't gotten rid of any of the 'budget clothing' you were forced to buy when you were a teen and had to fend for yourself – and feed Anko" said woman growled at the blond but Genma ignored her "We thought if we started taking stuff you would go find some things that were better grade and you would look good in, but then we accidentally started teasing you bout having to wear the stuff we left and well-"

"We didn't actually think you'd do it"

Iruka felt his face heat up at Raidou's comment "Oh, did you not want-?"

"NO! that's just it" Genma cut him off and smiled ruefully "We didn't think you'd wear our things but the first time we saw you –well, you looked so damn _sexy_ so we just let it be, cause it was fun and wonderfully possessive to get to see you in our stuff every morning"

Iruka felt his face get even hotter, that was defiantly not the sort of thing one brother would say to another but he had always known his family would never be normal, he glared at Genma while fighting a smile "So for all these years I've been wearing pants two sizes too large and girls boots because you wanted me to go buy new cloths?"

The three older ninja nodded cautiously as Naruto watched the scene while inhaling his waffle.

"Did it ever occur that you could have just said that in the first place?"

There was a stunned silence while the Jounin looked at each other.

"Wait" Genma timidly raised his hand as it had been proven in the past if they acted like his students when he was mad Iruka was less likely to hurt them – as much "You- you're not upset?"

"I'm too tired to be mad Gen, talk to me when I wake up, I'll think of something then"

Iruka grinned maliciously while Genma paled and Anko let out a choked sob "It wasn't me!" the purple haired woman leapt from her sit and grabbed her little brothers arm in a death grip "It was their idea! I had nothing to do with-"

"Anko"

Everyone froze while the kounichi stared in horror, bracing for the worst and telling herself she would not cry "Yes Ru'Ru'?"

"You want to go shopping this afternoon?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

It can be honestly stated that shopping with Anko was one of the strangest and all round most disturbing things you could image.

The kounichi hated shopping – for herself that is. Letting her shop for someone else was crazy, stupid and border lining on torture; why Iruka had volunteered for such a thing is unknown but as agreed many years ago there were something's that went through the chuunin's head that were best left alone, it was less painful that way.

This was why Raidou and Genma said nothing when Iruka handed them back their cloths and only protested to get him to keep a few pieces that they really wanted him too. Needless to say Iruka didn't fight to much when the two older man forced a dozen articles back into his arms since the only things he still owned were his uniforms (they had made him swear to get rid of the tattered robe and shorts) and he really liked the big, soft hoody Raidou insisted he keep.

Anko had refused to take the cloths back completely saying "I crash here enough it's nice to have cloths here and besides I still want to see you in my stuff" with a sickeningly sweet smile warning of hell if she was fought. Iruka could match his adopted sister in all things crazy but they'd been put under an ANBU warning if their fights and prank wars rose to a threatening level again.

(For the record, both Anko and Iruka insisted that no one had ever really been in danger, the T&I HQ hadn't needed that wall and that turquoise was a perfectly natural hair colour)

So Iruka had kept the kounichi's things, much to Raidou and Genma's relief (and delight, despite being their 'little bro' the guy still looked hot in camo, jean shorts and boots)

Naruto had left the little apartment soon after consuming 13 waffles to train telling the four adults that they were weird and crazy and he loved them before he did. Genma and Raidou had left a while later for their guarding shifts while Anko waited for Iruka to clean the kitchen, an eager and slightly devilish gleam in the dark brown eyes.

Any other person in the same position as Iruka would have been shaking terror but the chuunin wasn't, mainly because she had been his first family, the first person to see him and notice the perfect happy smile was stiff and fake, as he was in turn the first to not fear her. They had built a solid and happy – even if a bit small – family together, her trusting him with the twisted stories of her time with Orchamaru and him the horrors of his scars and old teams. Genma and Raidou had joined the siblings a few years later and had gained bits and pieces of both pasts but the two Jounin knew they would never obtain anything like the bond the other two shared.

Which was why Iruka was humming softly, not paying mind to the deviously plotting woman behind him as he washed the plates. He could handle anything she dished out and she in turn knew where the line of 'it's not funny anymore' was and would avoid it – they didn't need a repeat of the raining cats incident.

That was also another reason he'd wanted Anko and not the other two.

"I'm guessing Genma told you about last night?"

Anko's eyes glittered "I'm not allowed to hurt him am I"

Iruka shook his head "Sorry, if we hurt anyone it will be Rida. The moron gossiped about the mission sex we had and is the only reason Kakashi took any notice to me"

Anko looked shocked "He blabbed about mission sex? The whole point of mission sex is no one talks about it, if they did it would be like any other one night stand and not an expression of life and need to feel, everyone knows that"

"Well apparently Rida-_sama_ forgot"

Anko paused in mid growl and tilted her head to the side "I know I shouldn't ask but since it's already out why did you sleep with him?"

"I didn't want to be in a room alone"

"Ah"

Anko lapsed into an understanding silence for a moment before bouncing back up "So, Rida but not Kakashi. Anyone else?"

Iruka pulled the plug out of the sink and leaned on the steel lip thoughtfully "Well, if you really want more, Aoba, he was defiantly after my ass last night, lost to Kakashi of course"

"Not that you would have gone anywhere with him anyway"

"Ha, no kidding, he's not bad looking but the attitude is a real turn off"

"Doesn't move enough as well"

"I really didn't need to know that"

"Haha, sorry. That it?" the hard gleam was back showing the kounichi's thirst for more targets.

"More? What are you deprived?"

"We haven't pulled anything in months Ruka. _Months_, and this is personal, I must restore my baby brothers honor!"

"Honor? So things are going good with Gai I take it"

The purple haired blushed crimson "Yes" she smiled happily "Very good, but he's on a month long mission to Sana and –"

"You're bored"

A guilty grin was his answer "I do care bout your honor though! That and I want to raise hell"

"Seconded. Uuhhh, ever met Genyu?"

"Genyu? What about him? He hit on you too?"

"Nope, said you have big feet"

Anko's stunned silence had Iruka grinning impishly and leaning back again the sink counter. He'd warned the man.

"HE WHAT?"

"Adding him?"

"Yes"

"Good lets go"

Iruka pushed off the counter and headed for the door, Anko watched him as he picked up her black boots, full calf covered with buckles "Mind if I borrow?"

A crooked grin graced her lips "I would be sad if you didn't, you wearing that out?"

"I see no reason not to"

"Good baby" Anko hopped off her stool and walk over to him, she grabbed her black jean sneakers to complete her outfit of a cut off shorts and dark red jacket over a black halter top. Standing next to her adopted brother who was wearing a pair of her jeans – to cover the cut he'd gained to night before – and a dark blue tank top – also hers – added to the boots Anko gleefully noted the sensei was a walking hard on - and she got to drag him around town.

Defiantly a good day.

Iruka smiled as Anko grabbed his hand and tugged him out the door, just giving him enough time to chakra lock it before she pulled him off again.

He knew very well that some people would call what they were doing a 'girls day' but he didn't care, it was kind of a tradition between him and Anko. Since the kounichi didn't really have many female friends he had grown used to fulfilling the woman's rare girly wants, like going with her to the spa, letting her do their nails (though he could have lived without that) and when they went out together he always made sure to dress up, even if part of him was fighting a blush that could set him on fire.

It made her happy and he really didn't mind doing any of it, he had never minded wearing her cloths, just doing it in public always made him a bit nervous.

Shaking his head he pushed back the 'proper' part of him and let the imp free, he was going to have fun, after they got the shopping done of course – he wasn't thrilled about that.

He let Anko lead him down the streets, ignoring the stares directed at them, he expected them, Anko was drop down gorgeous that morning and she knew it; she'd even left her hair down so the dark purple curls spilled over her shoulders and down her back.

He had bound back his hair but only in a lose tail with the band holding lower down instead of tight against his head, this allowed the sides of his hair to swing forward and cover his ears, it was much more comfortable while still keeping the rich chocolate strands out of his eyes.

"So, where do we begin the torture?"

Anko mock glared at him over her shoulder "First the café, I want coffee and since you haven't replaced your maker-"

"That you broke"

"Shut up – I need my mokochino or I won't be able to plan the pain and humiliation of others"

"Very good point, Kofi's?"

"There are other places that sell coffee in this village?"

Iruka grinned, there were – over 40 in fact – but Anko swore that none of them existed and that the amazing Kofi could be the only person in the world –besides him – who could brew the wonder known as coffee.

He let her drag him down the alleys to the café. It was a cute little thing, the serving counter took up most of the space inside, there were four armchairs shoved into the corner and a row of bar stools by the window were they had managed to cram a counter, but many people just ordered drinks to go.

"Capichino?" Anko tilted her head at him when they reached door.

"Sure, I'll wait out here, there's more room"

"K" Anko nodded and slid through the door, leaving him to lean against the building, arms crossed, one leg braced on the stone behind him. He was still conscious of people staring and he was a little confused, Anko wasn't anywhere in sight so what were people looking at?

"Iruka-sensei?"

He jumped from his musing when a familiar voice called his name, glancing up the street he was pleasantly surprised to see Kurenai – a firm hand holding onto little Harzin's – and Tsume coming toward him, Tsume leaning closer to Kurenai to mutter something to her friend.

He smiled and straightened out of his slouch "Good morning Ladies, Harz-chan"

Harzin giggled and pulled his hand from his mother's hold to run to the chuunin, arms stretched up in a demand Iruka was more than happy to obey. Reaching down he grasped the solid little boy under his arms and picked him up, years of teaching children made the movement of lifting the boy and tucking the small frame against his own torso easy and fluid.

Harzin laughed harder and reached a hand up to tangle it in the dark hair, without Iruka noticing very much, the kid wasn't pulling so it was fine.

Kurenai beamed at him as she and Tsume came to stop in front of him. In a show of enjoyment to the lovely spring weather the Genjisu user was garbed in a very attractive short sleeved dress of rich purple that somehow didn't clash with her eyes like he'd thought it should, Tsume was decked in black shorts and a clingy red tee. Both looked stunning.

"You two look gorgeous, if I may say that without Asuma-san murdering me" as if to emphasis this Iruka glanced around worriedly as if he expected the bearded man to drop down on him from the surrounding buildings.

The women laughed before Kurenai grinned cheekily at him "Don't worry bout him, I warned Asuma off, this is a girl's only trip, Harzin as escort of course"

Iruka grinned back; he could only imagine what the red eyed kounichi had said in 'warning' to her husband to stop him from trailing her through the town. Turning his gaze to the boy in his arms he made his face serious "So, you're the one charged with their protection?"

Harzin giggled and nodded "po'tect Mama an'd Tume!" a furious (cute) scowl followed this declaration, the scowl quickly faded as he reached his hand back toward the sensei's face "Ruka-nii pretty"

Iruka laughed, trying very hard to not blush while Kurenai and Tsume grinned.

"He's right, the little flirt" Tsume took a step closer and ran her eye over his slender frame, the parts she could see around Harzin anyway "You look stunning yourself sensei, waiting for a date?"

No way to hide the blush now as he shook his head, did he really look like that? "No, nothing like that, today is catch up time with Anko, we haven't had much time to hang out lately so-"

"So today he's all mine"

He felt a hand on his hip and he turned to see Anko standing next to him, coffee balanced on one arm and a huge grin on her face "Jealous? Here Ru, this one's yours" one of the cups was offered to him and he gently put the red eyed boy down so he could take it.

Tsume grinned at the purple haired kounichi's bold comment as she swept her eyes over the little sensei's form again "Jealous, defiantly, keep an eye on him or I'll have to steal him"

Iruka blushed harder, if that was possible, he wasn't on fire yet so he supposed it was. It was times like this that he realized just how much he hated being hit on, even if it was just teasing.

Kurenai laughed at her friends comment "If I wasn't taken I would have to agree with Tsume, watch him Anko "

The kounichi just grinned "I really don't have to, Ruky's good at protecting himself, it's just really fun to help. Well baby, shall we begin the torture?"

"Torture?" Tsume's head tilted to the side "What are you two planning?"

Anko's devil grin was back "Nothing yet, I'm taking him shopping"

Iruka wasn't sacred, he would never be scared of Anko, but he was starting to realize this trip would dip into his already depleted supply of sanity.

Mah, who really need their mind anyway?

Making a face that had Kurenai giggling he sighed as he glanced over at the purple haired woman "Fine, where do we start?"

"RoadKill!"(1)

"Anko, I am not getting a corset"

"But-!"

"No"

"You wore one before!"

"That was a mission and you swore not to talk about that"

"But Ru-"

"No"

Anko crossed her arms and pouted while Kurenai and Tsume stare at him with looks torn between amusement and shock. His response was to pull a Naruto grin, eyes closed so they couldn't see the annoyance in the dark brown orbs.

_Honestly, I may be 'trusty little Iruka-sensei' most of the time but do they not think I do other things too? I was alive before I started teaching ya know_

"We should head out, the sooner we start the sooner it will be over" Iruka gave Harzin a pat on the head before pushing him gently back toward his mother "See you later?" he tilted his head in question to the ladies.

"O-of course!" Kurenai recovered before her friend and smiled at the 'siblings' "Don't be too cruel Anko"

Anko gave a sulky pout but muttered "Fine" before she slipped her hand in Iruka's again and pulled him off down the street, the Jounin's goodbyes following them as they went.

Iruka turned his gaze back to the purple haired woman once they were out of ear shot "Anko, I know where your taking me and I said no to RoadKill"

"Aww! Come on! You looked _so fucking hot _and-"

"And that was a mission, why would I want anything from that place anyway? "

"But Ruk-"

"I'll buy you any drink you want at Trapwire if you drop this"

Anko snapped her mouth shut, a pained expression on her face as she was torn between the want of making him dress in the most scandalises clothing the village had to offer and the bribe of drinks at the best ninja bar in existence.

"Fine, chef Juaga's dango too"

That settled it. With one last wishful glance at the little store that was already in sight, black and red leather, mesh and buckle covered goods displayed in the narrow windows, before leading him the other way.

He knew the next place would be Spinners, the only other clothing story Anko ever went into; luckily he knew they did have things in cotton and other fabrics as well as in different colours.

The shop was small in front but extended back a fair ways and sold what had been dubbed 'ninja civilian clothing' it was casual wear that was good quality, movable with hidden pockets, some of the pieces had also been designed with a 'normal' ninja's strange taste in mind (ever wonder where Gai gets the spandex one piece?)

"Ok!" Anko literally dragged him into the store and proceeded toward the back, Iruka was past trying to fight her, besides, she was one of the few people still living who actually knew his real size. Honestly, you'd think a town full of ninja would have noticed _sometime_ that the little sensei was most defiantly not a large.

He started the trick of wearing cloths two sizes to large when he became a genin, and once he became a chuunin the flank vest had done wonders at making him appear bulkier. True, the people he had slept with over the years would have most likely noticed the body hidden under the large uniforms was actually trim, lithe and slender – nothing like what he made himself look like while on duty – but as far as he knew none of them had ever said anything.

Seeing him in Anko's cloths was probably the reason for Kurenai and Tsume's shock, the older kounichi's clothes were just barely a touch too small for him and so the only thing that really showed was the abrupt reality of just how slender and curved his body actually was, for someone who was used to only seeing the bulky illusion it would be a bit of a surprise.

Anko shoved him roughly into one of the change rooms, leaving him to lean against the wall while he waited for her to come back – he knew better than to leave – this was the main reason shopping with Anko was annoying, she never let him look through things, opting for just shoving every single article that caught her eye at him until he had tried on half the store and they both were getting confused to what he'd already tried and what they had actually liked.

The first bundle of clothing came flying over the change room door along with the warning of "I get to see _all_ of them on you or I will come in there with you, got that?"

"Anko, do I need to point out how wrong that last comment was?"

"No, now shut up and start stripping, I'll be right back!"

Iruka sighed and began pulling the tank top and jeans off, kicking the boots to the side before reaching for the first pieces, which appeared to be a pair of kakis (that didn't stay on his hips) and a dark low backed tee. He liked the top until he turned and saw it showed off his back a little too well.

He pulled both off and then went through the pile of shirts, ridding it of all the tops that had the same style.

Another bundle was thrown over the wooden door to hit him. He growled and sent the cloths he refused to wear back over the top.

"Hey! I see I wanted to se-"

"Sorry Anko but you know the pants are too big and I won't wear low backed shirts for reasons I hope you understand"

There was silence from the woman who must have just remembered the sore spot, he knew he had been a bit sharp but he would make it up later at the bar. Damn it he hated shopping.

A hour and a half later – a new record in speed – saw Anko finally showing mercy and stating they had two of almost everything so that was fine for now. Iruka was grateful and figured he wouldn't have to do it again for a long time as he now had more than enough clothes for wearing, and since he would make Genma, Raidou and his dear sister promise not to steal this stuff he should be fine in the casual garb department.

He transported the bags back to the house so they won't have to carry the stuff around before he let the now very hyper woman drag him off again in the direction of the bar, a happy bounce in her step at the promise of dango that waited.

Iruka was just happy that the torture was over and they were headed toward the fun of planning some poor Jounin's humiliation together. He resisted a giggle.

Rida was going to _pay._

The Trapwire was the best and most trusted ninja bar in the city. It had a high ceiling with no beams for hiding, the kitchen was open to view and the bar counter was made of plexie glass so anyone ordering a drink could see what bottle it came from and where. It was open in the middle with booths along the walls, the bar stools were the only loose furnishing in the place as chairs and tables were more expensive to replace when destroyed. The lights were low but nowhere near dark, someone had wisely realized that too dark of an atmosphere would make the ninjas feel like they were on a mission and that was not really a good thing. Most of the decorations had been painted on the walls so no one could grab them and use them to bash someone else to oblivion (or elsewhere, ninja are a very imaginative lot you know)

The bar was open despite the face it was only 11:30 in the morning but this was normal, ninja were usually fairly responsible about drinking as being smashed on a mission was a very bad idea. Right now however, was a holiday so the barriers were lower, just a bit.

The place was already pretty full when they got there but where Iruka would have hesitated due to the number of people Anko had no issues as she simply grinned at all the people glancing their way as she dragged her little brother toward a booth at the back.

Shoving him down she stared at him "Any drink I want, right?"

He nodded "Yup, though I will not be responsible for any after effects"

"Deal, you want something too? How bout a shot of sammy?"

True he didn't drink much but his did sometimes and Trapwire's sambuca was one of the few things he actually liked "Please, order something for lunch too if you'd like"

Her dark eyes lit up happily as Anko nodded and headed off for the bar to place the order.

Iruka leaned back in his seat. He was looking forward to this, Anko was right, they hadn't pulled anything in a long time and he personally felt the village was letting its guard down, especially if Jounin were getting so stupid as to gossip about his sex life behind his back.

Even Tsunade knew that was a no go zone.

Rida was defiantly going to get it, Aoba too maybe, to teach him the meaning of respect and what he shouldn't listen to if anything, going after Genyu would really just be mean but he would let Anko have last call on that and Kakashi-

Iruka couldn't bring himself to want to prank the white haired Jounin, sure, after the whole Chuunin examination thing he had been pissed enough to steal the man's signed copy of _Icha Icha_ Paradise for a week before slipping it back into the Jounin's bag. It Kakashi had known it was him he had never said, but he knew for certain the Jounin had missed the book, which was what he had been going for.

It didn't matter he like the guy, he wasn't the kind to swoon over a crush, even though being near Kakashi made him feel flustered and slow he had become very good at pretending he didn't.

If only Kakashi knew how much pain he'd been spared because of the chuunin's crush. Iruka put up with teasing and rewrote scrawled reports but he would never let any of his evil friends go after the man; he just couldn't bring himself to find the thought of Kakashi humiliated funny.

Shaking his head he turned his thoughts back to Rida and the ways he wanted to make the man pay for breaking the unspoken rule. Maybe they should use the piranha idea on him.

He was in the middle of figuring out if it really was possible to change someone's skin colour in a very pacific area and if it was just how they would get such a jiusu in place when a familiar laugh pulled him from his evil musing.

Aoba.

Peeking around the edge of the booth the brown eyes widened when they fell on the sight of Aoba and Rida, followed by Kakashi, coming through the bar door and head – toward him.

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**(1) FYI, Roadkill is a real place in New Orleans. It sells leather and mesh goods in both Steam Punk and Goth styles, oh and of course, corsets, which are very hard to run in (just in case you were wondering.)**

***dramatic music fills the room* MHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA-*chokes* *hack cough **_**weeze**_*** ow, ok that was painful. Hope you guys liked it cause I did! *beams* oh does no one care bout that? Hehe, my bad…I'll shut up now…. Later!**


	3. Dear Karma

**Ryth: Haha! By Wednesday! See? I **_**can**_** keep a schedule!**

**Jiraiya: That and we threatened you with no chocolate until you posted this**

**Ryth: *with her mouth full* ya, you guys suck**

**Jiraiya: no back talk slave**

**Ryth: *rolls eyes* you know I'm not your writing slave right?**

**Jiraiya:….shut up and give the warnings**

**Ryth: K, storys mine, not the characters (well, Rida is but you can have him if you want) people talking bout sex, bad words, and guys with guys, but if you had a problem with that you wouldn't have made it past the first chapter *beams***

**Oh and I know Rida is a OC and that some people (me included) don't like them, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anyone else to play the part and this way, I'm not bashing anyone except my own creation, and I'm ok with that. So, sorry Rida, you came into existence solely to be tortured by a pissed off Ruka… sorry…**

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

Dear Karma

I have a list of people you missed.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Don't panic, don't panic, don'tpanicdon'tpanic._

The three jounin slid into the booth behind him, not sparing a glance at who might be on the other side of them. Then again he was masking his charka like he was on an S rank in Iron.

He wasn't ready to see Kakashi yet and if he faced Rida there was no guaranty he would be able to control his temper and not send the man flying through the wall with a round house kick. It wouldn't be the first bar first he had started in his life but if he got banned from the Trapwire Anko most likely would too and he didn't want to do that to her sanity, it was paper thin as is.

"I can't believe you took him last night Kakashi, that was just mean"

Iruka perked up at the sound of Aoba's whine, were they talking about what he thought they were-?

"Like he would have taken you home" Kakashi's bored drawl sounded closer, the copy nin must have been sitting in the middle "He was more inclined for Yugao to touch him then you"

The was a huffing sound while he heard Rida's very distinctive laugh.

"Tough luck Aoba. Though I'm curious to your opine Kakashi, you were sceptical about my story before but now that you tasted first hand-?"

"You were understating"

"Really?"

Rida sounded surprised while Iruka struggled not to choke on the spit he had inhaled in shock.

"Aw man, can we talk about something else?"

"What's wrong Aoba? Feeling left out?"

"Haha, it's not our fault you can't pick up a chuunin school teacher"

"Hey! You try to pick up someone when _he_ is flirting with the same person"

"Why thank you, Aoba, for bowing to my superior skill"

"Skill smill, it's gotta be the hair, it's like a beacon or something"

"Hey!"

Iruka was biting on his wrist at this point to stop any sound from coming out, wither it would be a growl, snort or a laugh he wasn't sure but none were a good option right then.

"Shut up Aoba, you can sulk later. You were saying Kakashi?"

There was a sigh and a snapping sound – Kakashi's book he guessed.

"Fine, you were right, he's fucking hot, the best lay I have ever had; he found spots I didn't even know about so must be a natural talent"

He vaguely heard Aoba's pitiful "I hate you two" but it was mostly lost in the roaring of his mind as he fought for control.

_Calm, remain calm, think of Anko, for Anko's sake you __cannot__ get up. __Do not__ get up. You __may not__ get up and smash Rida's head through the table, or send Aoba through the roof, or hurt Kakashi in similar ways and face it Ruka, you want to hurt him right now, or at least dye his hair a different colour, see how sexy it is THEN._

Iruka's mental struggle with his very pissed off imp ended when he spotted Anko headed back to their booth, loaded tray in her hands. Acting quickly he caught her eye and made the hand signs that would make her look at the booth behind him. Her eyes widened then narrowed when she saw the jounin.

Coming up to the table she set down the tray and leaned closer to him "What have they been talking about?"

"Me" it was a simple answer but meant so much more. If there ever had been any doubt - any hope - it was gone now. Kakashi saw him as a good fuck.

Nothing more.

"Anko! whatcha doing here! Didn't get smashed enough last night?"

Aoba's greeting call had her growling low in her throat as she ignored him and whispered back "How's your control?"

"How much trouble do you think I'd be in if I set Rida's hair on fire?"

Anko snorted "Less trouble after I use the bar stools on him" she straightened and gave the jounin a painfully strained smile "Aoba! Rida! Kakashi! How are you?"

Iruka winced at the sickeningly false bravo in Anko's voice, he knew she was doing it on purpose and could only imagine the looks of confusion the jounin must have been wearing.

This wasn't how he had really wanted this whole thing to go but oh well, it worked too.

"Uhh, w-we're fine. Hey, you want to sit with us since you not with anyone?"

Her eyes flicked to ward him for just a moment, only long enough to see the hand signs he made.

Swap routine.

Anko shrugged "Sure, for a while, I'm waiting for Ruka anyway" she slid her tray onto the jounins table while Iruka slipped under the booth and teleported out of the bar.

They'd done this to many times, though uaually Anko was the one escaping. He was going to get some weird looks when he walked back in.

He leaned against the outside wall, counting the minutes in his head. After about 8 he pushed off and walked back inside, fighting not to laugh at the looks he was receiving from the people who had seen him come in the first time.

This was probably why Gai had asked him if he had a twin.

He made a B line for the jounin's table; Anko was sitting as close to the edge as she could without falling off. Rida seemed to be the one trying to make conversation, no one but Aoba was helping much. Taking in a slow, control maintaining breath he came level with the booth, pasting on his best, almost fail proof smile as the jounin's attention was transferred to him.

The reactions were great, once they got over the general confusion and realized who he was, Rida's eyes widened while Aoba's jaw hit the floor and Anko grinned smugly. Kakashi seemed to have lowered his book again was looking the small form up and down.

"You're late!" Anko pouted and grabbed his arm; he smiled at her – real this time, they'd played this game more than once but it was usually her revenge, not his.

"By 9 minutes! I seem to remember the last time we went out you left me standing outside mission room in the rain for 45 minutes cause you fell asleep on the couch. Aoba-san, Kakashi-san, good to see you again. Rida-sama, how have you been?"

Whoever had said Iruka was a bad liar was an idiot, true he couldn't lie to Naruto or his friends without cracking like a vase after a 50 pound brick was dropped on it but to other people, especially ones he wanted to strangle at the time, he was actually quite good.

He watched in twisted amusement as Rida flushed guilty and smiled back at him

"I'm fine sensei, and you?"

"Fine, your hip healed now?"

"Yes, thank you. It wasn't broken just fractured"

Iruka saw Aoba and Kakashi watching the exchange with interest, as he knew they would, he and Rida were being too formal for it to make sense to the other jounin, and while one part of him felt bad for doing this to the other man the rest of him recognized he'd had it coming.

Rida wasn't a bad person; he actually had been very nice to work with. He was tall and solid with lightly tanned skin, dark black hair that hugged his head and jet black eyes. Really he was quite attractive. The mission they had gone on together had been the first time Iruka had met the older man outside of stamping his reports.

He had liked Rida, enough that he had been thinking of inviting the jounin out for drinks with his friends so they could get to know him better, that was probably why he was so mad about all of this, Rida didn't know _anything_ about him, yet he had still seemed inclined to tell a room full of people Iruka worked with that he was a good fuck.

Not to mention the fact the no one was supposed to talk about mission sex, it was privet, a ninja's need and so was meant to be set aside so no one had to fear becoming the grape vines next juicy bite. He knew there was no way Rida would have mention to anyone that they had been on a mission, talking about something like that was a breach in trust – Iruka's trust.

Aoba chuckled nervously "Come on now you two, no need to act all 'stranger' to one another"

Iruka blinked, fringing confusion "The first and last time I met Rida-sama was on a mission a few weeks ago. Am - am I being rude? If so forgive me" he said the last part to Rida with a slight panicked tone added to his voice.

His inner imp grinned, he'd always been good at acting but he was really on a roll here. Maybe all the times he'd had to speak to Harashi and the elders politely despite his urges to maul the pompous pricks with his students dull practice weapons could be considered training. He should mention that to Tsunade next time the Hokage looked like she needed a laugh.

Rida was shaking his head, trying to reassure him he'd done nothing wrong while a glimmer of horror flickered in his dark eyes as the jounin realized just how screwed he was. The other two men had gone ridged and tense in their seats, Aoba's face showing shocked realization while Kakashi had brought his book back up.

Anko was grinning at him, a terrifying gleam in her brown eyes; times like these Iruka was thankful to everyone and everything that she was on his side. She bounced up and looped her arm around his waist "Well, since you're here now I believe you promised me drinks?" she flashed him a cocky grin and he smiled back.

"And dango. We'll leave you to your drinks"

Aoba smiled and raised his beer at the two saying "Sure, have a good one you two" Rida's smile was decidedly weaker and Iruka found himself not looking to close at the man's eyes in case the emotion shown in them made him change his mind about doing anything and Kakashi –

Didn't even look up.

Nothing. Not even a 'ya ya, later' or that annoying two fingered salute. Iruka knew he had heard, he could fight while reading for crying out loud! He was pointedly ignoring both of them, he was ignoring him.

Iruka felt his blood boil, that was what they were playing? Kakashi had gotten what he wanted and no longer need to bother?

Hot tears burned behind his eyes, 15 year of a stupid crush shoved back in his face in one night, if only Kakashi could have been kind and done it sooner.

A saying came to mind "don't regret doing things – regret getting caught' damn straight, he wasn't going to regret it, any of it.

They were.

Both of them. _All _of them, they wouldn't know what had happened and by the time the dust settled he would be gone and would never care about any of them again.

Kakashi had 15 years of spared pain saved up and Iruka was going to make him pay for it.

That was a vow and he would see it through.

Polite till the end Iruka bowed to the three jounin" I hope the rest of you day is pleasant"- _cause your for see able future sure aren't- _then allowed Anko to tug him away.

She led him all the way to the back, to the farthest corner of the bar where she shoved him back down into a different booth.

"Well, that was close. Sorry you had to do that" she set the tray down and slipped in next to him.

Iruka smiled "Ah, it wasn't so bad, I just wish-"he choked on the words and looked down at his lap before trying again "I just wish I had realized all of this sooner. I know Kakashi isn't a bad person, his loyal, strong and loves Naruto almost as much as we do but – did he have to be such an ass over this? If I'm capable of looking Rida in the eye after what he did or talk to Harashi in calm tones when all I want to do is send him through a window Kakashi certainly could have just _looked_, said _something_" he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, pulling the band out as he did "Never mind, I'm being dramatic. Whatcha get for lunch?"

He glanced over at Anko, the kounichi looked like she wanted to say something to comfort him but he knew she really couldn't. The roles had been reversed and while Iruka could deal with being sad Anko was useless when it came to comforting someone.

He reached down and grabbed her hand, smiling when she started and looked down.

"It's ok, you don't have to say anything. The fact that you're here and you care is more than enough for me"

He let go of her hand and grabbed the plate of dango off the tray and pushed in front of her before fishing the other dish – which seemed to be some kind of weird soup – and the drinks off the tray, then pulling out his note book he push that over to her too and leaned back, sipping his drink while he waited for the giggles to start.

Iruka smiled softly to himself, he missed this, just the two of them, planning what most people would call trouble – how blind those people were.

_It had been 4 years since the Kyuubi attack and Iruka still didn't know why everyone around him still patted his head and told him 'it was alright now' _

_It was most defiantly not alright._

_His parents were still dead, he was still alone, people still didn't see the smile was fake; he was still a 14 year old who had to go home to an empty apartment and earn all his own money for rent and food. Thank goodness ninjas didn't have to pay taxes._

_Struggling in a grownups world, trying to move past to lingering horrors of old sensei's and dead teams, trying to move up with no one to show him how._

_Why were there never guide books for things that mattered?_

_Iruka stared back down at the ground, pushing the swing gently. He was hungry, but he wanted to save his lunch, he had to help Sandaime later, copying down the surviving recodes or something and the old man always had something tasty to share, also if he saved it then he would have something for supper which was good since he had to work at the mission room and that took more energy than the missions._

_The teen sighed and stood, grabbing the old beat up back pack he had found in the dumpster he swung it over his shoulder and began to leave the recently repaired Academy yard when a sniffing sound made him stop._

_Was that crying?_

_All thoughts of being late were pushed aside as he run around the side of the red building and peered over the fence cautiously._

_A think tuff of dark purple hair blocked his view but the person it was attached to what seemed to be the one crying. Iruka smiled, it was a girl and though he realized she most likely wouldn't be thrilled to be caught like this, he wasn't just going to leave._

"_Hello, are you ok?"_

_The girl jumped in shock and whipped around to face him. Now that he saw her he realized she was a teen as well, a bit older than him by the look of it too. She was glaring at him with so much hate that if the proof of her previous distress wasn't still trailing down her red cheeks he never would have believed it._

"_Who are you? What are you doing here?"_

_Iruka smiled, a few years ago he would have been up in arms too, but he simply didn't have the energy anymore "My name's Iruka and I was swinging over there when I noticed you"_

"_I wasn't crying!" the girl yelled as she swept a hand over her face. _

"_I never said you were" _

_That stunned her, as he knew it would. He had been there and knew that most people when told something they knew wasn't true would correct it._

_And that had never helped._

"_What's your name?"_

_He shocked her again. She looked over him carefully _

"_Anko, Mitarashi Anko"_

_She said it like she expected to be struck, Iruka just smiled. He knew who she was, he had heard the jounin talking about her, but she's didn't look like they had said, it was the eyes._

_They were like his._

"_Nice to meet you Anko-chan, are you hungry?"_

_She stared at him like he'd grown a new head "I- I guess?" a growl followed and he smiled again._

"_Here" Iruka hopped over the fence and sat down, pulling his bento out of the shabby pack he patted the ground next to him "I hope you don't mind sharing. Also, I've never made the egg dish before so it might not be very good"_

_She sat down next to him and took the offered chopsticks almost shyly. Taking a piece of the egg she tried it and chewed slowly before her face lit up and she grinned._

"_I's good!"_

_Iruka smiled and it didn't feel fake._

"_Really? I'm glad"_

Iruka smiled as he watched his big sister tuck into her dango happily, she was so different from the person he had met, he was so different from the person he had been, but how they supported each other – that had never changed.

They had pulled their very first prank after that, no one but the Sandaime suspected them for putting sticking jutsus on the Academy toilets and if he knew he never said.

Looking back on it now Iruka realized the old man was probably very happy they had found each other and if the price for the two teens lives was tolerating some pranks well…the Hokage had willingly paid.

Iruka had been called a prankster when he was younger, but the village soon learned those had just been silly, harmless jokes compared to what he would do if someone threatened his big sister.

Anko couldn't fight back without proving people right. Iruka could make their shoes catch on fire and no one would be able to blame him. It only took two months for people to get the message, don't touch Mitarashi and don't tease Umino.

The annoyed and threatening looks had slowly changed to ones of realization, awe and fondness at the sight of the two tarring through the village (usually the older dragging the younger by his wrist) they had learnt together that there was a huge difference between surviving in the world and living in it.

Anko had been and still was his reason to stand back up.

Though their family had grown over the years it still had come down to that one day all those years ago. Iruka refused to think about what would have happened; about what kind of person he would be if he hadn't met Anko.

A soft giggle from Anko had him leaning over to see what plan she was reading.

"Just how would that work?" she raised a brow "I mean, it's hysterical and very personal but how? Dying that part of a person's body? Where did you get that idea anyway? I thought _I _was the perv in this duo"

He shrugged "I took Naruto out for ramen a week ago and Kiba walked in. it came up somehow – you don't want the details – I don't really know if it's possible but I figured we could put it on the wish list"

Anko nodded slowly then flipped the page before letting out a hoot of laughter "Ah, Ruka that's just _mean_"

Iruka grinned and was about to reply when a thump and a raised voice turned his attention to the other end of the bar. He was a bit surprised when he saw Aoba's broad form standing and moving away from the table he had been sharing with the other shinobi, the jounin's voice was no longer raised but he seemed to snapping words out with venom.

Iruka winced, ok, he was an evil genius – according to Anko anyway – but despite how mad he was with Rida and Kakashi he could help but feel sorry for-

"Stop that"

He jolted "Stop what?"

Anko glared at him "Stop feeling sorry for the bastard, he knows he crossed the line, he knew he crossed it weeks ago, don't start going all soft on me before we've done anything. You've never had any issues with getting back at someone before"

"That's because they had hurt _you_ and no one will ever get away with that"

Anko blushed in the way only Iruka could make her "Well, fine. Now it's my turn to protect you so no cold feet, clear?"

Iruka bit his lip but nodded, his eyes going back to the jounin's table where Aoba seemed to be done insulting Rida and was striding toward the door, the jounin's eyes flicked toward the back of the bar and Iruka had a feeling that the older man was trying to find him.

He sighed, maybe they should take Aoba off the list of targets. He really had just been a bystander in all of this, though he doubted Anko would agree. Ah well, at the least he could make sure the guy didn't have to withstand much, just a little warning.

He and Anko could be mild just once.

Right?

Kakashi followed Aoba, not even looking back as he strolled out, book in front of his face. Iruka shook his head, a few days and there would be new gossip, a new scandal and Rida would have all his friends back and-

_STOP FEELING SORRY FOR HIM!_

Iruka shut his eyes and shook his head harder until he started to get dizzy. Damn Naruto was right, he wasn't good at being mean; mischievous, evil and over protective - yes, but mean? Not when it came to his own revenge.

His note book being slammed over his head woke him up and he raised a brow at the kounichi who had hit him.

"What was that for?" he wasn't mad just mildly curious.

"You weren't listening"

"Ah, sorry. Repeat?"

"What's this note here?"

Iruka peered at the page, he had very good writing – most of the time, but if anyone in the village besides Anko got hold of the book they wouldn't believe he had been the one writing in it, honestly it was worse than Genma wrote with crayon . He really was a hypocrite; oh well.

He glared at the scrawled letters, trying to figure out his own writing when Anko snorted "it says 'No T T&I' honestly I've seen you print and you can do calligraphy if you want to! So why do-"

"I butcher it in there? It's the only book where it doesn't matter and no one is expecting anything from me, so since I don't have to care I get lazy. As for the note, we're still under warning so I swear in this moment that not cats will be involved and T&I will not be touched"

Anko snorted

"No promises concerning green hair though"

That had the kounichi howling with laughter. Iruka gave her a grin that quickly turned cold when Rida stood from his table and made his way to the back of the bar. The jounin soon spotted the siblings and went straight for their booth.

"I suppose you think you're clever?" the dark eyed jounin snarled the words at Iruka as soon as he was level with the table.

Iruka made his eyes go wide "W-what are you ta-"

"You knew damn well what I'm talking about you little bitch, you-"Rida never got to finish the insult though as Anko's fist slammed down on the hard surface and she stood. Rida was a good foot taller than her but what the kounichi lost in height she made up for in pure 'I am insane and I _will_ kill you' vibe.

She was shaking and Iruka was quite sure that her eyes were a terrifying sight at the moment as Rida took a step back. When Anko spoke her voice was level and sweet.

"I'm sorry; did you just call my little brother a _bitch_? Let's clear something up here and now _Rida_" her hand fisted in the jounin's shirt and she dragged him down to her height " No one _no one_ insults Ruka but me and if you ever get near him again I will make the _thought _ of just _touching_ someone in an intimate way painful, for the rest of your life. Now get out of here you stupid shit"

She shoved him, hard. If he hadn't been a ninja he would have been sent flying through the door. As it was he only stumbled a few feet but it was still enough to get the bars attention and gain a few laughs as people saw that Anko was involved.

Nobody wanted to mess with Anko but like with anything, Ninja were still human and so seeing someone else suffer at the crazy woman's hands was funny – as long as it wasn't them.

Rida glared but that was all – it was all he _could_ do while still keeping importaint body parts attached – before he turned and stalked out of the bar. Anko huffed and plunked herself back down in the booth.

Iruka shook his head "You enjoyed that too much"

Anko didn't look at him, just remained glaring at her glass with venom "There's no such thing as enjoying something too much"

Iruka sighed and moved the empty glass from her line of vision "Want another?"

She nodded and continued to glare but at the table now "You still feel sorry for him?" she whispered the question but he heard.

He tapped his finger against the table top thoughtfully "Yes"

Anko started and looked up at him in shock "_What?_ After- after _that_ you still feel-"

"Yes" Iruka didn't smile as he answered "I do, because the moron could have saved himself a lot of pain if he hadn't come over here"

Anko's eyes widened as realization slowly came to her and the scary grin was back "Pulling out all the stops?"

"I said we wouldn't touch T&I, I said nothing about the rest of the village" Iruka copied the woman's grin before slipping out of the booth and heading to the bar to order Anko another drink.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

A few hours later saw Iruka supporting the-more-then-slightly tipsy Anko back to his apartment. Ok, so maybe giving her 8 cocktails and two bottles of sake had been cruel, but Anko was evil-er when intoxicated.

Besides, he was letting her stay the night at his place - so she wouldn't kill him for her head ache in the morning.

He practically had to drag her up the stairs until he gave up and picked her up bride style, making the rest of the journey much easier for both of them. Opening and closing the door with his foot Iruka set the now very drowsy woman on the couch while he went to his bed room and changed the sheets on the bed.

Finishing with that he went back to find Anko sound asleep. He smiled; she really was such a kid sometimes. He pulled her shoes off for her and slipped her out of her jacket before her picked her back up and moved her to the bed.

She murmured something that sounded very much like 'Gai' as she snuggled down into the blankets and Iruka had to grin as he moved around his room, pulling off his tank top and jeans in favor of one of his new pairs of pants and one of Genma's soft old shirts.

It was funny, Genma and Raidou had always joked that if Iruka didn't get over his shyness Anko – the notorious bed hopper – would beat him to a steady relationship.

Needless to say they were the most surprised when Anko had declared – while blushing a shade that had impressed even Iruka - that she was dating the Beautiful Green Beast.

That had been 8 months ago and Iruka was insanely happy for his big sister, the fact that it was Gai actually made it better as he was the last person anyone would think could end up with the wild kounichi.

Iruka couldn't help but feel the big hearted man was exactly what she needed; he certainly seemed to make her happy at any rate and the tijutsu user fit into their already strange little family quite well.

Iruka sighed and collapsed on the couch and stared out the window at the now dark streets, the lamp that stood close to his apartment filling the little room with a soft light.

He sighed again and leaned his head back, letting his eyes slip closed. He felt drained, the loss of sleep and emotional beating finally catching up to his muddled mind and body.

Consciousness started to fade as he slipped away into sleep, one last melancholy thought echoing though his mind.

_Kakashi, why couldn't you have just stayed?_

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

"Rrruuu-kkkaaa"

_High pitched. Annoying. Tired. Go away. What's poking?_

"Rwwwww-kkkkkyyyyyy"

_More poking. Stop that. Rwky?_

"RUKA! WAKE UP!"

"sh't up A'ko"

Iruka mumbled sleepily, waving his hand at the annoying thing he knew was there before sliding down to a more comfy position on the couch, trying to ignore the persistent poking on his temple.

"But Ru'Ru I'm hungry"

He could hear the pout in her voice but couldn't really bring himself to care. He heard her sigh before the couch dipped by his head. Hands ran over his body as he was pulled forward until his head was resting on a very warm – if a bit bony – lap.

Hands combed gently through his hair as the sound of humming slowly began to grow, the light, happy little tune Anko loved drifting on the air.

Iruka relaxed, just soaking in the moment, the feel of his big sister's aura wrap around him while her low voice slid over him, warming him like sunlight.

"h'ws y'or 'ead?"

The question was very muddled and husky but he knew Anko could understand – she could always understand him, no matter what state of not-quite-awakeness he was in.

She finished the last note before answering "Throbbing dully with a soft whistling in the background"

"w'nt some asprin?"

"Yes please"

"That req'ires I move doesn't it"

"A little bit"

"Damn"

He cracked one eye open and turned his head so he could grin at her.

"Wow, what ran you over?"

Anko huffed at him "Says the scruffy sleep deprived fish"

"Dolphins are mammals, not fish"

Iruka yawned and rolled out of his comfy spot on Anko's lap, catching himself before he hit the ground. Stretching he rubbed a hand over his eyes, it helped a little, he could see batter at any rate.

Stifling another yawn he memory walked his way to the kitchen, waking up a bit more with every step. Pulling out a glass he filled it with water and slid it toward Anko's spot, knowing instinctively she had followed him.

"whatcha want for-" Iruka glanced over at the stove clock and its bright green numbers flashing 1:37pm happily at him "lunch…"

Anko snorted and shook her head "Ya, we slept in today. You're not late for anything are you?"

"No" Iruka grabbed a pan and set it on the stove to heat "3:00 I have to be at the mission room. Shizune worked it out really well so that all the workers got a day and a half off" he bit his lip and peered in the fridge "Since I'm feeling lazy we're having leftovers"

Anko grinned as he started dumping the sealed containers on the counter top, she would never complain about leftovers and he knew it. Helping she started popping the lids of before pointed to the things she wanted so he could put them in the pan to warm.

"So you more or less got a plan right?" Anko drummed her fingers against the counter idly as she watched her little brother move around the kitchen.

"Less in this case, but I knew what to head for so I can make up the rest from there"

Anko gave him an apprising look "How are you going about set up?"

Iruka hummed and poked at the food in the pan absent mindedly "Well, Aoba's easiest, I'll just wait until he comes in –either today or tomorrow – and use the old 'your taller than me, I need help' stand by to get close to him"

"But the instant you do that-"

"The rest of the mission room workers will know I'm up to something, yes I know. Don't worry, they won't get in the way, if they did they wouldn't get to watch the show"

"They won't ask why-?"

"They need to know why I'm mad to enjoy watching a pompous jounin go up in flames?"

Anko giggled "Never thought of it that way. But what about Tsu-"

"Tsunade lets me get away with more than Saritobi-sama did, especially when Shizune cuts her off from sake and she's bored. So long as I don't destroy anything she has personal affections for I'm in the clear" Iruka grinned over his shoulder at the older woman "It's amazing how much you can get someone to like you after you tell them how to make a hallowed out books to hide things in"

Anko's jaw dropped "That was _you?_"

A very impish chuckle filled the small apartment "Guilty"

"Damn" Anko shook her head "Ok, mission room staff and Tsunade, not a problem. What about our other revenges, how are you setting up with them?"

"Ah" Iruka tipped the food out of the pan and onto Anko's plate, passing it to the kounichi he leaned over the counter and clasped his hands together "I'm having trouble with that one"

"Why?" Anko mouthed the words as she shoved her lunch down "You don't know where they live?"

Iruka shook his head "I know where Kakashi lives and finding Rida's house is no issue, I have clearance into the private files, I can just look the number up there, the problem is that I'm breaking into jounin and an ex-ANBU's housing. I know I'm fairly good with traps Anko but if I mess up in there I'm dead, I'm just wondering if there's a better way to go about thi-"

"Iruka!" Anko stopped stuffing her face and glared at him "You're underestimating yourself _again_. Ibiki _Ibiki _of all people has asked you to set up the traps in T&I every time they update security. How many times do you have to be told you're a genius with traps till it sticks, you can get into their houses, you know you can"

Iruka gave her a doubtful look "I don't know Anko, I mean, even if I do get in the place, what if they catch me? The Elders would love to have something like that to hold over me"

"So avoid it"

"How?"

"Don't get caught"

Iruka glared at the kounichi who was staring calmly back "It's not that simple Anko"

Anko waved a hand in the air, dismissing his worries "The only reason your worried is because you've convinced yourself you should be, it will be fine and if by some world ending chance you do get caught remember, both Tsunade and Ibiki like you as do half of the clans and most of the Jounin, you have more than enough support in case of disaster"

She smiled happily at him as if her little speech made sense to anyone but her and there really was nothing dangerous about a chuunin breaking into an ANBU's house. Iruka stared at her for a moment before sighing and bowing his head in defeat, it _had_ been his idea but it had seemed easier last night.

"Fine, I'll deal with it" he muttered, knowing she wouldn't have heard him as she had gone back to cleaning her plate at top speed. Shaking his head fondly Iruka slipped out of the kitchen and headed for his bedroom to grab a shower and a new uniform.

The door clicked shut and Iruka leaned back to brace his back against the cool wood, running a hand through his messed hair he winced when his fingers found knots.

_This is gonna be one hell of a week_

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

**Ok, shorter chap but it seemed like a good place to stop. this chapter is a very good example of why people (myself inculed) have stopped trying to understand how my mind works...if somethings strange or doesn't make sense, I'm sorry, its just what my mind told me to write...I also re-wrote this chapter half way through so this was the _better_ version**

**scary right?  
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** Life's still crazy so I don't know when I'll post again so until then, hope you liked!**


	4. Paper Clips

**I don't really like this chapter...well, I do - I love and hate it, I know it could be better but I can't bring myself to change it...*hangs head* I'm so confused...  
><strong>

**Ryth: ok, so I did _try_ to keep Ibiki in character, really! I did! He _wanted_ to be OOC!**

**Ibiki: you're an idiot**

**Ryth: Am NOT! You _like_** **talking to Ruka!**

**Ibiki: mmm**

**Ryth: anyway, hope it's not too bad and you all enjoy it anyway! Right Biki?**

**Ibiki: *is ignoring her***

**Ryth: Biki? Biki? *starts poking him in the head* BBBIIIIKKKKIIIII!**

**Ibiki: poke me one more time and I'll break your hand**

**Ryth: O_o **

**Ibiki: *grins***

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Rules are like paper clips._

_Meant to hold things together,_

_Fun to bend,_

_And oh so easy to twist out of shape._

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

3:00 saw Iruka strolling into the mission room – well, maybe _strolling_ wasn't the best word, more like slipping in after two Kounichi before the door shut while struggling under the weight of two bags and staying close to the wall.

_Sunday afternoon of a long weekend, should be quite, right?_

Wrong.

Chaos reigned; people were _everywhere_, chatting, arguing, fighting, and even standing on the ceiling. There was some gods awful singing coming from somewhere while someone had started a game of children's Twister in the middle of the room and a betting pool not usually associated with the game was in full swing. Some of the jounin were using trashed – or what Iruka sincerely hoped were trashed – mission reports as dart boards and the waste basket in the corner was spewing out a sickeningly green smoke.

_I hate my life right now._

He wove his way through the chaos till he reached his desk and was able to drop the heavy bags by the table.

"Hey Iruka, what the hell is all that?"

Iruka looked over at Iwashi who was manning the desk alone as best he could.

"The copies and files I've been hold onto while we were repairing the file room, Shizune requested I bring them in today for sorting, you know, since it's going to be slow and quiet in here? What the hell is all of this?"

Iwashi rolled his eyes "Not sure but me and Maki relived Kotetsu and Izumo an hour ago, Izumo had to take Tetsu to the hospital after someone let off a scent jutsu and he had an allergic reaction and then Maki ditched 15 minutes ago, call about her sisters baby so I'm not to miffed. As for all of this, in reality it _is_ slow but best I can figure is everyone is bored and they ran out of room in the Jounin's lounge"

"The whole point of the Jounin's lounge is so they _wouldn't_ come here when people are working, why are they not in the bars if their bored? We're only fun when we think no one's watching"

Iwashi snorted "That's true, anyway, everyone you see here is only off duty till tonight so-"

"They all still want to goof off but can't risk getting smashed, I understand now" Iruka slipped into his chair and toed off his sandals before bringing his legs up and folding them so his was sitting cross-legged in his seat. Iwashi's brows rose but he didn't say anything, Iruka's cute mildly childish action was nothing bad, especially when it was compared to the general misbehaver of the Jounin.

"So…" Iruka tilted his head toward the other male "Should I be worried about the trash can?"

Iwashi glanced over at the bin and its billowing green smoke.

"Nah, I don't think so, no one's shown any side effects from it yet and Kiba was daring people to stick their heads in it earlier"

"Oh, please tell me no one really –?"

"Lee did it right away and when he didn't drop dead the betting pool started"

Iruka let his head fall back so he could stare at the ceiling hopelessly, listening to the sounds of the surrounding madness around him.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

_Ssooooo booorrreeed_

Iruka stared at his desk dully while surpassing the very childish urge to get up and began twirling in circles around the empty Mission Room.

Honestly, four and a half hours ago the place had been so full and _loud_ he had been curbing the need to maul someone and now he was curbing the need to slam his head against the desk, start singing or – as mentioned before – spin around till he got _really _dizzy just so he could have something to do for a while.

He glanced over at Iwashi who was asleep, sprawled over their desk, mouth open, snoring loudly. He'd already given into the urge to draw on the guy over an hour ago and now the older male had some actually very good artwork scrawled across his right cheek and forehead.

Iruka had finished all the sorting, had rewritten 17 reports that had no business being accepted in the first place, pried all the seabon and kurini out of the walls, cleaned the foot prints off the ceiling and thrown out the trash bin which at that point had melted into something that could have passed as modern art. He had also cleaned out the desks – all of them – and organised pretty much anything he could get his hand on.

So now he had nothing to do.

He sighed again and leaned over the desk. He had never been bored on Desk duty before, there was always _something_ to do, or at the least he was never the only one there and awake, sure there had been slow days in the past but Kotetsu and Izumo had always been there too and they would have a ton of fun just talking and laughing.

But neither Tetsu or Zu had come back and Iwashi was so far gone Iruka suspected he could shove the guy in the closet without waking him up, he'd heard something about Iwashi having friends with family issue's or something similar come and stay with him and Iruka knew not everyone in the village was as used to people just crashing at their places as he was, so Iwashi being tired made sense to him.

Still it would be pretty funny if he woke up in the closet.

He was in the middle of contemplating if the fun would be worth all the trouble he'd be in after when the sound of the door swinging open had him jumping in surprise.

Looking over at the door he saw a huge lumbering shape stop just a few steps into the room, Ibiki was looking around almost bemusedly at the empty room until the black eyes rested on him and his sleeping co-worker sprawled over the desk.

Iruka grinned and quickly grabbed Iwashi's head, turning it to the other side so that his artwork would be hidden from the specialist. Ibiki's brow rose at the action and he walked slowly up to the desk.

"Slow day?"

Iruka leaned back in his chair "Just the past few hours, what can I do for you?"

Ibiki glanced around the room again as if he was trying to decide wither or not the whole thing was some sort of trap.

"No, we're not stuck in a genjiutsu Ibiki-san"

The big man snapped his gaze back to the sensei.

"If it _was_ a genjiutsu I wouldn't be bored"

Iruka could have sworn he saw the wide mouth twitch in amusement, that mouth, if he remembered correctly, had tasted really good.

Iruka blinked. Where had _that_ come from? He was in no way a prev, he didn't go around thinking about who tasted good – that was just creepy.

Ibiki just shifted closer to the desk, completely unaware if the chuunins questionable thoughts. The big hands disappeared into the huge trench coat as the older man hunched his shoulders, clearly uncomfortable with the quiet room.

"I'm looking for the Godaime and as I have already gone to her office and the hospital this is the last logical place she would be"

_And the last place she willingly would be as well._

"Ibiki-san?" Iruka tilted his head to the side as he gazed up the big male "You do know today is Sunday and a long weekend, right? If Tsunade-sama's working or even at home I would be very surprised, you'd be better searching the Gambler's District. Is it urgent you find her?"

Ibiki blinked and looked mildly confused for a moment – Iruka didn't blame him, he was on the graveyard shift for half the night and had already consumed a pot of coffee so everything he had just said had been in a rapid fire sort of way and he could see the interrogator was still trying to catch up.

"Umm" the big mouth had defiantly twitched that time "No, it's not too urgent. Will she be back in tomorrow?"

Iruka snorted, very aware that he was probably being a little to forward with the jounin but was too bored and caffeine hyped to care "Tomorrow? Like she's really gonna recover before Wednesday"

The deep chuckle filled the room "You make a good point, but that unfortunately will be too late, Shizune-san is most likely with the Godime no?"

Iruka nodded "Ya, if she's not there to protect Tsunade-sama she got dragged along, depends on how the Hokage was feeling at the time. You need to get into the file room?"

Ibiki nodded realization filling his dark eyes "You set the traps for them right? So you can get in?"

Iruka nodded almost reluctantly. Yes, he was one of the people who organized and set up nearly all the security in the village, and always had as it actually was safer to have only a few people do the job as the more people who knew stuff the higher the chance of someone slipping and saying something they shouldn't.

He'd had the job working alongside Genma for years – it was how he'd met the seabon sucking blond in the first palce - being appointed by the Sandime when he was 17 and Tsunade had never told them to stop when she became the Hokage. The one and only reason he didn't like the position was Sarutobi-sama had never cleared his hiring with the Elders and neither had Tsunade.

The reason this was a problem was it gave him very high clearance, on par only with the Hokages and if the other Elders ever got hold of his file and found out just how much power he really had in the village behind the scenes-

Well, Iruka didn't want to think about the actions they might take.

"Umm" Iruka jumped when Iwashi gave an extremely loud snore beside him before he turned back to the Specialist "What exactly do you need?"

"Files on poison damage and effects, poison from Stone"

"Ah" Iruka didn't like where this was going "And to get them you need to go into-"

_Please say the Maze please say the Maze, please say the-_

"The Labyrinth"

_Shit damn it_

There were three levels of security rooms, in which all the information gathered over the many years of the village's history was stored, nothing had ever been thrown away as you never knew when even the most obscene rumor could be of use.

The Web was the lowest level, an all-round safe place, the genin could break into it if they wished, which was the point, it distraction and was used as storage and a decoy, nothing they didn't mind someone reading was stored there.

The second level had been nick-named the Maze so the people who knew of its existence could speak of it in more public settings without drawing attention. Almost everyone who had worked the Mission room for more than 6 years had clearance to it and while the higher ranks in the village such as Tsunade and the Elders had clearance as well occasionally the traps were changed and someone forgot to tell them – only on occasion of course, and it all depended on who had pissed off who and which pair was on duty that week. But please don't tell the Elders that.

Finally the Labyrinth. It was a fun house of horror with the number of traps – changed twice a week on random intervals – that littered its rooms. It housed information on all the clans of Konoha, the files of people who 'did not exist' the jutsu's of the former Hokages -all of them – Orochimaru's forbidding scrolls and files on his known tests – the ones they'd found anyway – and many other things that any other hidden village would love to get hold of.

Iruka hated the Labyrinth.

Oh he liked _trapping_ the place, it was the only place he could get really creative and go wild with the questionably lethal traps he couldn't place around his house anymore since the dare of breaking into Sensei's house was a game played far too often for Iruka's taste.

But actually going into the place when he wasn't working well, it scared him a bit as he was admitting just how far in he was and that was dangerous. Also going into that place – at any time of the day – was like going into one of Orochimaru's abandoned hideouts alone with no weapons and one hand tied behind your back.

Not that he ever over did it with the traps or anything.

But Ibiki was his superior so-

"You need to get in now?" Iruka cocked his head to the side, gazing inquiringly while Ibiki just shrugged.

"It's not a this instant thing but the sooner I get the files the sooner I can get on with my day"

Iruka's brow quirked and he gazed out of the window into the pitch black of night "Ibiki-san? Its 10:30"

The interrogator did a double take before glaring at the smaller male "That was an expression Sensei, I know very well what time of day it is"

"But you didn't know it was a long weekend" Iruka smiled sweetly at the big man who continued to glare.

"I did"

"Liar"

The scarred face went blank as the bigger man growled "Under what reason's and authority do you say that"

The sweet smiled never slipped, Iruka had spent too much of his life being yelled and glared at to be intimidated now "Well, for starters, you were looking for Tsunade-sama"

There was a flicker of emotion in the black eyes but was suppressed too fast for Iruka to read it so he went on "Next is that you came looking yourself. Hazarding a guess off of that I'd say you were working when you realized what you needed and when you tried to summon someone to gopher for you no one came, meaning you didn't remember they would all be off"

The thick brows had come together this time.

"Third is the rings under your eyes, you've been overworking, which is probably the reason you forgot what day it was"

The room seemed to darken along with Ibiki's presents "And what concern is _that_ of yours?"

"It isn't. But if I remember, the last time you pushed yourself to that point you ended up in my bed"

Iruka was no longer looking at the jounin, opting for digging through one of the desk draws instead. Finding the wanted tool he set in on top of the wood surface and glanced back at the interrogator who had fallen silent.

"Now, did you want those papers?"

The question brought the jounin's gaze back to the chocolate eyes. Black pits narrowed at the sight of the thing that had been pulled from the desk but the big man said nothing, only nodded and took a step back, still staring at the thing Iruka was now holding in his hand.

The chuunin grinned impishly at him, the small fog horn held out to the side as Iruka leaned as far away from it as he could before pushing down on the top and letting the mind splitting blast free.

Right by Iwashi's head.

The effect was devilishly wonderful. The older shinobi jerked awake, jumping 10 feet upward and sideways at the same time. The result was the older chuunin sailing 4 feet to the left before hitting the ceiling and crumpling back to the floor.

It took a minute or two but the other man eventually managed to get up and turned his dazed gaze toward the brunet that even in his hazy state his mind knew was responsible for the pain.

Iruka smiled sweetly and waited for Iwashi to drag himself back to the desk and slump into his chair. The older man let his head loll as he looked over at his co-worker.

"How long was I asleep?"

The words were slurred but for someone like Iruka who had spent most of his life learning and translating the language known as baby talk – everything from two year old learning speak to 7 year olds with no front teeth – Iwashi's mumbles were quite clear

"Four hours" was stated happily and helpfully.

Iwashi's eyes crossed in confusion "If you let me sleep that long way did you punish me now?"

"Punish you? No, I just need to help Ibiki-" a mocha hand waved toward the big man who was watching the whole scene with something akin to wonder and un suppressed interest in the black eyes "And I can't leave with you asleep"

Iwashi blinked lazily, one eye closing before the other "And you couldn't have just poked me awake because-?"

The brown orbs widened as if their owner had just realized the nicer way of doing things. Iwashi sighed.

"That's it, I'm partitioning to the Hokage to listen this time and never give you nightshifts again."

Iruka shrugged and stood "There's fresh coffee in the staff room, an ice pack in the freezer and aspirin in the cupboard. I should be back in an hour latest, oh and don't worry, I used wash off…I think"

"Wha-?"

Iruka grabbed Ibiki's big wrist and lead the larger man out of the Mission Room before Iwashi could finish his question and Ibiki could say anything about the mountain scene scrawled over the other chuunin's face.

It wasn't until they were halfway down the hallway did Iruka realize he was dragging the older male behind him, which seemed very odd to the chuunin since considering the differences in size Iruka shouldn't have been able to _drag_ Ibiki _anywhere_.

He stopped walking and looked up at the jounin, finally noticing the distracted and vacant look in the black eyes.

"Ibiki-san?"

A dark hand waved in front of the scarred face only to have it captured in a powerful hold. Ibiki's eyes refocused and he stared down at the smaller male thoughtfully.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

Iruka tilted his head to the side, clearly confused as Ibiki shrugged a shoulder back toward the Mission room "That, back there, you always wake your friends up like that or was that a onetime thing"

"Aahh, that" Iruka shrugged in return "It's mostly to do with the time of day. The Desk workers have asked that I never take graveyard shifts if it can be helped"

"You always like this late at night?"

"Yes" the dark eyes were both rueful and tired "It's a mental issue that started years ago and only got worse over time."

Turning he started off back down the hall, the sound of Ibiki's heavy footsteps following him.

"What kind of 'mental issue? Why the night?" Ibiki didn't seem willing to drop it, but then again he was an interrogator.

Iruka sighed "Guess there's no reason to lie to you. During the day I always have to be careful as I never know whose watching. As a Academy sensei I have to be a good teacher but cannot risk appearing 'dangerous' - the subjects and students I teach aside, because if people think I'm threatening in the smallest sense I would find myself over my head with angry shinobi parents and terrified civilians and quite possibly the risk of losing my job. In the Mission room people say I'm cocky and insubordinate, they never notice I never pass the line that would make both of these true, i may argue but I would never outright defy someone. I also understand that I will never be able to cross that line without risking my place in this village. People don't want Umino Iruka; they just want polite, trusty, shy and plain Iruka-sensei"

Ibiki seemed a little stunned at the lengthy and honest confession, but Iruka didn't care, he didn't want to lie to Ibiki, besides, the man _had_ asked.

The deep voice spoke up again "Thank you for being honest to me, but what does it being night have to do with the-"

"Personality change?" Iruka grinned over his shoulder "Rai thinks that at some point my mind started interrupting the light change as a sort of signal that I didn't have to act for anybody anymore and could just be who I am, unfortunately, by the time I was old enough for it to be noticeable it was already hardwired in."

Ibiki's brow twitched "That sounds very much like-"

"A jounin level mind trick, I know, Genma just loves teasing me about having quirks worse than his without the compensation of a higher salary"

He heard the jounin snort and grinned to himself, he liked making stoic people laugh.

"Wait" the deep rumble drew his attention again "You said 'old enough to be noticeable' how long have you had this then?"

Iruka paused and used the action of unlocking the door he had been leading them to as an excuse to not answer right away. He didn't mind telling but if Ibiki kept on this track the interrogator would find himself in a more personal story then he was probably expecting.

He sighed again and pushed the door open, letting it swing wide so the bigger man could get through easily and stepped in himself before turning to look the older man in the eye as he answered.

"I've had it since I was 7, as far as I can tell anyway"

That had not been the answer Ibiki expected to say the least, though being the person he was the jounin only betrayed the feeling by a slight twitch of his eyebrow that Iruka would have missed if he had not been looking for it.

"At such a young age, what cause it?"

Iruka knew the man's curious thirst was far from cinched but this would be the last question he would answer willingly. The chocolate eyes hardened with bitter mirth and the chuunin folded his arms over his chest.

"'Sit up straight' 'Stop fidgeting' 'Don't speak unless spoken too' up graded to 'Grow up' 'Don't be childish' and 'Stop this nonsense now' until they were orders from captain's who wouldn't look at me and jounin sensei's who would tell me and my team mates plain out we were a waste of their time and skill. They have been replaced with Elders and parents with similar views. To put it simply, throughout my entire life I have been ordered to shut up and behave, so there are certain hours in the day that these orders become slightly hazy"

Iruka turned his back on the bigger man to let the jounin mull what he had just said over as he moved up to the big closet that was their destination. He ran is hands over the smooth old wood and felt the knots and seals under his fingers, the chakra parting easily for him as he tugged the big doors open.

If anyone else had opened it they would have found themselves staring at seven wide shelves full of medical supplies.

For Iruka, it was open and empty.

"Now, have you ever been in here before?" Iruka turned to look the older man in the eye and took in the expected head shake "Ok, you're going to have to trust me than. Come here"

The black eyes regarded him intently for a moment and he sighed.

"Yes, you. I'm not going down there alone!"

The indignant little statement had the jounin smiling warily and coming closer, still eyeing the closet.

"So, just what do you do with that?" the big man stared down at him and he smiled.

"We get in of course"

"Get in-?"

Any other protests from the jounin were cut off as the smaller male shoved the interrogator forward into the space and climbed in after him.

"I-Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka had to force himself not to enjoy the others bewilderment to much as he shut the wooden door, sealing out all the light. He could feel the older man against his back and tried not to think about how good it felt.

"Iruka…"

The lack of suffix did not escape his notice, neither did the uneasy tone.

"Relax Ibiki-san; you really think I'm going to do something to you?"

There was a dry snort behind him and he felt warm breath brush over his neck.

"You just confessed to me that the darker it gets the eviler you become, so excuse me for being paranoid for being trapped in a pitch black closet with a light sensitive imp"

After he got over the general shock of Ibiki's jib Iruka let himself laugh till he was gasping for air "Well - since you seem so set on me doing something to you-"he felt the older man tense behind him and grinned in the dark.

"Hey Ibiki-san. Have you ever been in an elevator before?"

The last word left his lips and his hand hit the wall, sending an unlocking jutsu through the seals. There was an ominous click and a soft creak before the floor dropped out from underneath them.

That's what Ibiki would have thought anyway, Iruka however knew they were simply inside a small metal box attached to chakra string and he had just set the release mechanism to full, meaning they were now speeding underground at a delightful 40 k per hour.

Well, Ibiki had been the one to call him a light sensitive imp.

Judging the time until they hit ground was normally very easy, but normally he wasn't being choked by the massive head of T&I. the big man had grabbed him the instant after the 'click' and though he wasn't screaming Iruka guessed the death grip the muscled arms currently had around his neck and waist was as close as he was ever going to get to a full out shriek of terror.

Maybe. Iruka did always love a challenge.

Because of the distracting choke hold Iruka missed his normal perfect timing by three seconds, so instead of the customary gradually slowing ride that would stop gently at the bottom; the lift hit the ground with bone jarring impact that sent Ibiki crashing to the floor, dragging the chuunin with him.

Iruka lay there, half crushed by the jounins considerable weight and listening to the older man's harsh breath.

"Sorry" Iruka managed to sound sincere, he _was _sorry after all "Misjudged the timing"

"Misjudged the-"there was a pause as Ibiki sucked in more air before exploding "YOU'VE DONE THAT BEFORE?"

"Ibiki-san, keep your voice down, some of the traps in here are sound sensitive. And yes, I do that all the time, every week remember? Genma loves it but he always loses count and has nearly killed us more then once. I only lost count this time because someone decided to use me as a handle bar"

Ibiki grunted and muttered "Sorry" before the weight lifted from him and Iruka was able to stand, a little shakily maybe but grinning none the less.

"It's fine, but in the future, grab the wall, I'm not the steadiest of things to lean on"

"Well, maybe not physically"

Iruka's head whipped around, unsure if he'd heard the whispered words right "Pardon, what?"

"Nothing" he felt Ibiki shrug behind him "Iruka-sensei? As wonderful of company you are its dark in here and I'm cramping"

With just how wound up the other man was Iruka wisely saw that laughing would not help the situation, especially when there was no grantee that what came out of his mouth would not be a cackle.

Reaching his hands out he felt for the cool metal of the wall and followed it until he found the right spot to push. There was another creak and a whoosh of air as the sealed door slid open to revel a brightly lit hall.

"Welcome to the Labyrinth"

Iruka stepped out of the lift gently, his sandaled feet making no noise when they hit the stone floor. Glancing over his shoulder he smiled at the Interrogator who had yet to move from the little metal box.

"Look, Ibiki-san, I know the rumors around this place are pretty freaky but trust me, only one third of them are true"

Iruka knew Ibiki wasn't scared of the place; he was a skilled shinobi who had lived to be 35 in the ninja's harsh world. No, Ibiki wasn't scared and Iruka didn't make the mistake for one moment to think he was, the big man was wary of the unknown and of something he couldn't control. It was the reason he was still alive today.

And Iruka knew first hand just how 'freaky' the Labyrinth could be; he should, after 11 years of the place being his personal playground of evil – a playground that tried to kill him, often…

He looked back at the bigger man who still hadn't gotten out of the lift and sighed.

"Ibiki-san, you can step on the floor, it's not trapped, at least in this part. We stopped doing _that_ years ago after Genma nearly beheaded himself. Just don't touch the walls ok?"

Ibiki paused with one foot on the stone floor and glared at the chuunin "Why? What did you do to them?"

Iruka brightened; if there was one thing he liked talking about most after kids it was traps, especially _his _traps "You want to see?" was asked eagerly as a dark hand reached out to touch a smooth stone panel on the wall.

"N-MUFF!" Ibiki's yelled command was cut off when Iruka sprinted forward and slapped his small hand over the big man's mouth.

"Sorry" Iruka spoke calmly "I am fully aware that you out rank me and could make my life hell for talking to you like this but please have more faith in me than that, you really think I would purposefully do something to put us in danger?"

He removed his hand and let Ibiki breath. The Interrogator gazed down at him a moment, considering before he let out a breathe "No, I trust you, you just startled me is all. But next time just tell me; don't try to show me, my nerves can't handle something like that anymore"

Iruka grinned guiltily "Sorry, it's not very often I'm with people who know I'm more than a boring chuunin school teacher. The wall just starts tossing their tiles around, it's meant to startle people enough to raise their voices"

Ibiki's brow rose as he realized there was a reason for the chuunin's silencing "What happens if someone yells?"

"The roof caves in"

The jounin blinked "What?"

Iruka rolled his eyes; he didn't like repeating trivial things "A shinobi's first instinct to the walls attack would be to block with a jutsu"

"Mmm"

"All ninja subconsciously raise their voice when they cast a jutsu"

Ibiki looked a little startled "I'd never thought of that. How did you reason that?"

Iruka shrugged "Something to do with fighting and being in battle as far as I can figure"

He led Ibiki ponder this as he lead the older man down the hall, ignoring all the false hallways that curved off gently to either side; explaining to the specialist that very few people –shinobi or other ways - believe something could be as simple as 'keep walking straight' and that the mind would always automatically turn the direction of the person's strong hand.

Ibiki shook his head in amazement as the chuunin guided him through a section when they could only step on pacific tiles "I can't believe you do this every week. Have you every locked yourself in?"

"Haha, a few times" Iruka grinned over his shoulder "It's fine though cause after a few hours Anko and Rai will start to freak and they'll send someone looking or we'll just bash our way out. Gen and I usually get pretty banged up when we do that though which means we then get to spend the next three hours or so being lectured by Tsunade. Poison files right?" Ibiki nodded "Ok, this way then"

He ducked off down a side hall smiled when Ibiki hesitated just a moment "This place is called 'Labyrinth' for more reasons than a nick name, you never put everything in one place - that would just stupid"

Ibiki nodded again, a slight twitch playing on his lips and began following him, the nervousness still present, though Iruka would have called the jounin a fool if it hadn't.

"Hey Iruka" the chuunin hummed, signaling he was listening "You said that only one third of the rumors were true, is that an accurate fact?"

Iruka nodded "More or less, one third; true, One third; false, one third; out dated."

"How do you know?"

"Who do you think starts the rumors?"

Ibiki paused, realization in his eyes "You-"

"Control of information, you of all people know how important that is. Here we are"

Iruka stopped at what appeared to be a solid wall until he traced his finger down a crack, five stones from the corner and sent a pulse through it. There was a click, a creak and loud grinding sound as the wall began to sink into the floor.

He continued to filter his chakra into the room, feeling their traps recognise him and one by one stand down. This was the easy part, going in was always easy, it was supposed to be.

It only took a few minutes until the section they needed was clear and Iruka could signal Ibiki to follow him again. He noted the look of awe on the scarred face when he lead the other man into the room and would admit he had the same feeling every time he came down here.

To say the place was huge was an understatement. It was 4 floors high; open in the middle with walkways around the edges on all 4 levels for easy access to the scrolls and books that lined the walls. This was one of the smaller rooms, it was only half of a mile long instead of the full mile some of the others were. That was the other mind boggling thing, there were more, about a dozen more, spanning almost the full length of the village.

It had always amused him to think of how all of Konoha went through their lives, never knowing or realizing they were walking above more knowledge that anyone could read in two hundred years of study.

Iruka reached back and found Ibiki's big hand, grabbing hold of it he twined their fingers together before pulling gently to the right. This was the part he didn't like, the libraries were always kept at a very low light and though Iruka was in no way afraid of the dark the place just screamed 'I can kill you' in such a way it could put any ninja on edge.

This of course was entirely the point, though Iruka still thought it was damned unfair and cruel to him and the others as they had to go down there the most.

He lead Ibiki down one of the narrow path between shelves, both men careful not to touch the book lined walls as they walked.

Iruka let out a sigh when they reached the right section at last; he glanced at his watch and saw they had 25 minutes till the hour he'd told Iwashi he'd be back in was over. He tasked at himself, should have said one and a half.

Stupid over caffeinated mind.

Quickly he lifted the traps from around the scrolls he needed and grabbed five label 'Stone'. Shifting through them he handed two to the jounin "Which?" and watched carefully as Ibiki gazed at them intently before taking one and handing the other back.

"Great" he gently placed the other four back on the shelve before turning back to the jounin "Ok, here's where it gets interesting. Move" he grabbed the interrogator and marched them quickly back down the aisle "As soon as something is removed from the shelves a timer starts that will reset all the traps if not countered. It's a defence to prevent anyone from just sitting down here for hours reading unhindered"

"You're mentioning this now?" Ibiki's voice was deadpanned and Iruka grinned.

"Don't worry we have plenty of time to get out before the place trys to kill us"

There was no answer but he had the feeling the jounin was glaring daggers at him.

He chuckled as he pushed the older man back through the door and hopping over it himself as it started to slide back up into place.

"See? Plenty of time"

"Iruka"

"Yes"

"Your bat shit crazy"

"Anko's my big sister"

That shut the jounin up.

He smiled and walked past the big man before glancing back at him "Time to get out of here?"

The trip back was surprisingly uneventful and easy, but Iruka guessed there was a first for everything. It took a little convincing to get the jounin back in the elevator, he'd had to reason that he _couldn't_ put any of the 'stupid dropping shit' as they'd be going _up _and no, there was no other way out of the place and yes they had to get in to the 'damned metal box again' and that no, he was NOT the essence of evil.

On the up side, he'd never heard Ibiki talk so much before.

Eventually he'd gotten Ibiki to get in and had been able to seal the doors. Now he was being a good boy and was reeling the lift back up at a crawling pace. Ibiki was standing behind him again and he could feel the muscled legs crossed beside his, one large arm was draped casually over his shoulder and chest while the other no doubt kept hold of the scroll they had just retrieved.

Which reminded him.

"The scroll has a time limit too"

He felt the other man shift behind him.

"Before it does what, pops out arms and trys to kill me with my paper weight?"

Iruka snorted "No, I'm not allowed to do that anymore. It will just teleport back here in 24 hours unless the jutsu is taken off and only the Hokage can do that. All I'm saying it you should finish with it tonight or we'll be making a second trip"

"Ah, thank for the warning, as wonderful a guide you are…" the big man let the sentence trail off and Iruka grinned.

_Stoic, unfeeling jounin my ass, Ibiki's actually pretty fun when he's relaxed...ish_

There was a soft bang and the lift shook a little, signalling they had reached the surface. Iruka sent feelers out into the room, making sure that there was no one outside to scare the living daylights from when he opened the doors.

"Oh, one more thing" Iruka jumped down out of the closet and turned to hold the door for the older man "I'm pretty sure you already know this but if you try to copy anything from the scroll-"

"It will teleport away, correct?"

"Yes, though since this is from the Labyrinth and not the Maze your pen and whatever it's touching will also set fire"

The blank look Ibiki was giving him told Iruka the other man wasn't quite sure if he should believe him or not. Iruka received that look often, usually from Raidou.

He shut the big wooden door and re-sealed all the locks then followed Ibiki back out to the hall where the jounin was waiting for him.

"Thank you again Iruka-sensei" the big man gave him a respectful nod.

Iruka smiled, not missing the re added suffix "No trouble Ibiki-san, thanks for humoring me and coming down too"

The big man nodded once more before turning to walk away when, on pure impulse, Iruka reached out and grabbed the strong wrist.

"I-Ibiki?" Iruka felt his face heat up and inwardly cursed, damn it really was too easy for him to start blushing.

He waited for the older man to pause and look back at him before he tried again.

"Umm, I- I know your busy – tonight but would – would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow?"

It took all the control he had over his body not to clench his eyes shut after the question – said very fast – was voiced. He was half expecting to hear Ibiki to laugh at him though being pushed away and ignored wouldn't have surprised him much either.

"Just us?"

Dark eyes snapped up. He was considering it?

"Umm, I don't know, maybe, you remember-"

"Your Moochers yes"

He could see Ibiki thinking behind the black eyes and had to force himself not to hold his breath.

"I'd love to come over Iruka, what time?"

Iruka blinked while mentally screaming - _he said yes! -_ like a 12 year old.

"Uh, 6 work?"

"Of course. Should I bring anything?"

"Nope, I've got that covered"

It was dark but he could have sworn Ibiki was_ grinning _"All right then, see you at 6"

It wasn't until the other man was almost out of sight that Iruka heard himself mutter "See you later" to the empty air in front of him.

He walked back to the Mission desk in a sort of daze. Not really taking in the sorry sight of Iwashi hunched over the desk, nursing a cup of coffee in one hand and holding an icepack to his doodled on forehead with the other, an open container half full of little white pills sitting on the edge of the desk.

Absent mindedly Iruka walked around behind him and moved the icepack away before he began to slowly massage the other man's temples with gentle hands.

Iwashi hummed and leaned back slightly, slurring something that sounded like "Your forgiven just don't stop" though only a small part of Iruka's mind heard.

He felt giddy, and this thrilled him. He hadn't ever felt this happy over a date before – and yes, he considered it a date, even if some of the family showed up in the middle of it.

That was his life and if he wanted Ibiki to be part of it he had to make sure the other man could deal with it.

A soft smile lit on his lips as he heard Iwashi sigh happily.

He hadn't set anything up for the revenge yet and there was still three hours left on the clock but-

But he had a date and for that, he was deliriously happy.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

**Ugh, ok, like said before I know this chapter sucks, I'm sorry, between writers block and you don't need to know what else _this_ came into being, this was the best I could fix it up. and for some reason I still like it - even though I know its not the best. Please be gentle*hangs head* I promise the next one will be better…**

** Now I don't usually do this as I write flying blind and what I think will happen usually never does =_= but… NEXT CHAPTER I _DO_ know that – THE PRANKS WILL BEGAN! *cackles evilly***

**Ibiki: you should come with a warning label, you know that?**

**Ryth: *rolls eyes* like people actually _read_** **those. Later! (please be nice *whimpers*) **


	5. If you think you can

**(If you've made it this far you know I don't own Naruto)**

**Ryth: AAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAH!**

**Kakashi: *slaps duct tape over her mouth* your welcome everyone**

**Ryth: *death glares at him***

**Iruka: Kakashi stop being mean to Tj or she'll hide your books again. Hello people! This is chapter you've been waiting for, begin the revenge. It should be noted that Tj Rythum is not responsible for the results should anyone actually **_**try**_** any of the things mentioned in this chapter.**

**Ryth: *rips tape off* ...ow… but it you **_**do **_**happen to try something tell me how it works? *puppy eyes***

**Iruka: TJ!**

**Ryth: KIDDING!**

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

_If you think you can, you can; _

_If you think you can't, you're right._

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoX

_I am crazy; I'm fucking bat shit crazy. Who's idea was this again? Oh right, MINE. _

Iruka stared at the walls of the house in front of him like they were about to start shooting weapons at him, which in reality wasn't too far from the truth.

His Desk shift ended half an hour ago and it was time to begin The Pain (as Anko had insisted they called the whole operation, in which she really wasn't helping much…)

This was the reason he now found himself standing on the corner of the walk staring at Kakashi's house.

Kakashi's house was – for lack of a better word – cute. It stood on the outskirts of the village, backing the tall wind filled forest that surrounded Konoha. It was a small one-story bungalow with light blue siding, big windows and a bright orange door (Naruto's idea of course) the lawn – front and back – housed trees and nothing more; Iruka knew this was because of the dogs, trees were the only things that would survive for any length of time.

Iruka loved that house; it was like the one his parents had owned – smaller yes, it just looked like his old house though. His old home had been destroyed in the Fox attack and when he'd become a Genin he'd saved up until he could buy a place and leave the so called 'housing' that had been supplied for the new orphans with no clan and no important relatives.

He realized he could probably afford a new place by now but he had enough space in his apartment; he still loved the little blue house though.

But right now the sight of it didn't bring a smile to his face; it didn't make him feel warm and happy. No he felt scared and sick at the moment, as in the house Kakashi was sleeping and the fact that he was here meant he was hurt enough to want to do this to him.

Taking in a deep breath Iruka walked slowly toward the house. His chakra was calm and still like a pond, he had locked it in place before he came. He knew Kakashi had been in ANBU and he couldn't risk playing around with chakra when the man inside had been trained to detect only a breath of the stuff in his sleep.

No, he was doing this the hard way, the civilian way, no chakra, pure mind over matter. Some would have mock him – many did – but Iruka had always avoided using chakra when he could, his body's limits he could push but he only had so much chakra – he couldn't change that.

He circled around to the back of the house where he knew he could use the sliding doors off the small raised deck. The glass was cool against his skin as he ran his hands over the smooth clear surface, smiling as he saw his fingers left no mark behind them – a surprisingly helpful side effect of an exploding tag experiment when he was a genin. The experiment had failed spectacularly but because of it Iruka never had to worry about finger prints ever again.

Even with his chakra locked he could feel the traps pulse and sing beneath his fingers. Carefully he pushed at them; not trying to disable them, no there would be no point in doing that, he just needed them to part enough for him to get by.

Iruka loved traps, a trap was more than just a mechanism designed to catch someone, in many ways it reflected the person who set it, more so with ninja as ninja used chakra – something as unique and different as DNA. Traps were designed to detect and stop forceful entry, but Iruka had worked with traps of all varieties to know by now that they could be fooled.

Most ninja would disable a trap, setting it off by doing so; even if they destroyed it before it could go off completely it still would have tried to attack. A trap was a reflection of defence but it would only recognize a brunt and forward form of attack – and yes, being stupid enough to step on one was a brunt form of attack.

A _cat _would fight back if stepped on.

He opened a gap big enough for him to slip through before quietly popping open the lock, opening one door and sliding inside. He could feel the traps all around him as he glided forward, careful not to get too close to any of them.

It was going smoothly, too smoothly. This was an _ANBU'S HOUSE for crying out loud!_ It shouldn't be this easy; should it?

Iruka took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself, convincing himself he was going to crash and burn was a sure way to get caught, he told his students that all the time, the more you said you couldn't the easier it was to fail.

Taking another breathe he began moving again, pulling the house interior to mind from the times he'd been there with Naruto.

He was standing in the far corner of the living room that also doubled as a dojo when the couch, chairs and rugs were put away, the kitchen (which Kakashi could use though he wasn't a very good cook in any sense of the word and knew it too) was off to the right of the short hall that lead to the front door, a half bath branched off of that hall, the full one was an on-suite in the bedroom.

Iruka headed for the half opened door he knew lead to the bedroom when a snort like sigh stopped him in his tracks. It had come from the couch, which he found odd and terrifying because unless Kakashi had fallen asleep on the couch – very unlikely – it meant one thing.

The dogs.

Carefully, afraid to even breathe, he looked over at the couch.

8 fuzzy shapes of different sizes lay sprawled over and around the old beat up army green sofa.

_Shit_

Traps were one thing, Iruka knew traps, Iruka could handle traps but the dogs – the dogs were a problem. A very big problem. Any animal in this situation would be a problem but 8 trained _talking_ ninken were a nightmare.

_Damn it!_

Biting his lip and narrowing his eyes Iruka took a tentative step forward, gaze focused on the 8 sleeping forms, watching for any signs for movement, some may have called it stupid – Iruka was telling himself he was an idiot – but he was there, the door was _right there_

He could do this.

One careful step after the other he edged slowly past the couch and moved toward the bedroom, having small heart attacks every time one of the dogs snored.

The five minutes it took to cross the room mays well have been five hours from the state of Iruka nerves by the time he got to the half open door and slid into Kakashi's bedroom. A quick glance around revealed a comfy room with thick blue carpet and sliver walls with weapons and pictures hanging from them. The double bed in the corner by the windows creaked softly when the form wrapped in its light blue quilts move slightly.

Iruka froze, the more than slightly hysterical part of his mind going into a full blown panic attack at the thought of the jounin waking up. He took a step toward the bathroom, controlling his movement perfectly, eyes never leaving the sleeping form as he reached the bathroom door, twisted the handle and disappeared inside.

The tiles were cold, the whole room was cool really, it was quite and dark; giving the illusion he was safe though he knew better. One wrong step and he would have Kakashi and the dogs all snapping awake and crashing into the bathroom.

Maintaining control he opened the pouch tied to his hip carefully and began pulling the needed items from it.

A small cloth ball came first. This he placed on the sink counter before moving to the bathtub where he began to slowly remove the head from the shower. Picking back up the little ball he tuck it into the small hallow in between the pipe and the shower head.

It was the oldest trick in the book and worked much better than dye in the shampoo bottle, when the shower was turned on it would take a minute and a half for the dye to start leaking out - plenty of time for the water to get hot and the victim to be completely under the spray.

Anko had suggested pink but Iruka had said no, pink was over used in pranks and Kakashi was used to Sakura, pink wouldn't be traumatizing enough.

He gave the shower head one more solid twist before he was satisfied it would stay.

One part done, two left.

Steeling himself Iruka slipped back out of the bathroom and glided off into the bedroom. It was daunting, having Kakashi in the room as he did this, daunting and tempting.

He glanced over at the bed and took in the sight of the sliver haired man sprawled over the sheets, one arm thrown over his head and other across the pale chest, a toned leg hung out from under the covers over the side of the bed. The silver hair fell over the handsome face and hid the left eye and pointed nose from sight.

Iruka licked his lips. It wasn't fair! Plain and simple, it was downright _unfair_ for someone to have that much charisma. Kakashi radiated 'sexy' when he was wake but to be like this unconsciously was just damn unfair for the rest of the world, particularly the chuunin who was breaking into the guy's house.

Iruka shook his head to clear it and forced his eyes away from the mouth-watering sight spread over the bed before he completely lost it and did something moronic like walking over to the copy nin and licking him – the spot on his neck had been _so_ sensitive.

_Damn it Ru, you're such a perv really…_

Iruka smiled guilty to himself before refocusing on his task. Opening the first drawer of the dresser Iruka found himself staring at rows of socks and underwear. A blush rose at the sight of the undergarments, everything from boxers and briefs to – oh goodness were those, _thongs?_

Ok, _that_ shouldn't embarrass him, he'd worn them (Anko made him) but still –

He just stopped himself from slamming the drawer shut and glanced over at the bed worried. Kakashi moaned and rolled over, pulling his leg back under the covers before laying still again, leaving a very scared Iruka fighting to calm his heart back down to a normal speed.

The second drawer held half of what he was looking for, neatly folded uniform tops. The shoulder bag securely fastened around his body was popped open and an identical navy blue top was laid in the drawer, at the front on the very top so it would be the first and easiest to grab in the morning.

The same was done with the pants, laid gently on top of the rows, naturally the first thing that the pale hands would grab during the jounin's morning routine.

_Two down one left._

Knowing he need his chakra the finish the job Iruka glanced over at the bed and its sleeping figure one last time, a feeling of melancholy still lingering, he quietly started for the door when a sleepy mumble from the white haired form nearly had him tripping in shock.

Another look at the bed conformed Kakashi was still asleep though Iruka sure he had heard the man say–

Iruka balled his hands into fists, it had been his imagination, Kakashi hadn't said anything, especially not _that,_ he wouldn't, he couldn't, and he didn't.

Convinced Iruka straightened back up and slipped back out of the door into the living room. Only the dogs to get past now and he was home clear, just like Anko said, he was good at this.

He was halfway to the sliding doors when a snort and a thud drew his attention back to the couch. One of the dogs seemed to have slipped from their curled up position and was now stuck –still asleep – with their butt on the couch and their head on the floor.

_That can't be comfortable_

Iruka's instinct took over and before he could actually process it he was gliding around the snoring mounds of fur, kneeling by the couch and gently pulling the ninken from the floor into his arms.

The dog had soft tan fur with a white muzzle and black floppy ears. The three straight whiskers on either side of the little black nose and the way his hair stuck out all over the furry face reminded him of Naruto in a strange way.

The dog stirred and Iruka's felt his heart jump into his mouth.

"Shh" what was his name again? Ah, right "Shh Guruko"

The black nose twitched once before Guruko sniffed sleepily and settled back down, letting out a happy snort like sigh as he buried his head into the crook of Iruka's arm.

_Ah damn it._

Carefully Iruka leaned out over the couch, trying not to touch the three other shapes – Shiba, Bisuke and Urushi if he remembered right – as he eased Guruko out of his arms and back into the cushy corner of the couch.

The dog whimpered when the warmth of his hands left and he was left holding his breath in fear that Guruko or one of his brothers would wake up at the sound of distress.

Looking around he saw that none of the dogs seemed to have moved much, and their chakra was still calm with sleep. He sighed, letting the air he'd been holding in go as he stood and glided back out of the fuzzy mass of fur surrounding the couch.

He reached the door no problem and risked one more glance back at the sleeping pack. He really did like dogs but had never gotten one because of his schedule, maybe he should think about-

The feeling of being socked in the gut hit him when he suddenly found his gaze being met by a pair of gleaming black eyes. Horror rose in his chest as the small form lifted its head.

_Pakkun_

The little pug didn't move from his spot on top of the huge black mass he knew was Bull but the little black eyes didn't move either, they watched him steadily, unblinking. He stayed where he was, he'd been caught and he would take the consequences.

They stayed that way for a full minute staring calmly at the other. Iruka had no clue what was going through the pack leaders head but he kept his eyes emotionless waiting for the dog to move, accuse him, yell, attack – anything.

The pug gazed at him one minute more before he snorted and looked away, glancing over at his master's bedroom door instead.

"The brats an idiot isn't he"

Iruka started in shock but stayed silent; Pakkun had all the power at the moment.

He watched the ninken for as long as he could before finally losing it and ducking his head down to glared at the floor, wishing his eyes would stop burning. _Yes Pakkun he's an idiot but so am I. It doesn't matter, move on._

He heard the pug sigh and chanced a brief look up, surprised when he saw the dogs gaze was sad.

"I could say I'm sorry bout him, but I have a feeling you've already handled it. The brat should have known he'd met someone someday who wouldn't take being played with lightly"

Iruka kept his mouth shut, he couldn't think of anything to say, when the dog sighed again and looked back at him.

"Thanks" the black nose pointed toward the sleeping Guruko "He's always doing that and hurting himself"

With that the pug put his head back down and curled into a ball, leaving a stunned Iruka to instinctively bow and whisper "Goodnight Pakkun" before backing out of the door.

Once outside he stared at the glass panes in awe a moment before regaining his senses. A quick deep breath calmed his cracking nerves before he took off, jumping from the deck to land gently on the grass, the instant he touched ground he was sprinting away from the little blue house and the all to wise pug.

Pakken's words were still echoing through his mind, sending it reeling. The pug had been watching, he'd been watching when he'd put Guruko back on the couch, he'd probably been watching before that and-

He was just letting him go?

Iruka rounded the corner and stopped running. Looking back he realized he had just gone 10 blocks in a very short amount of time with his chakra still locked. Mmm, his legs hurt now.

Back to Pakkun, if the pug hadn't known what he'd been doing there he'd know in the morning. Would he tell Kakashi? If he did the whole game would be up and Iruka would never-

No.

Iruka's hands clenched into fists. He was doing this for payback and he was going to get it. If he rigged Rida's place tonight didn't matter if Kakashi blew it all up in the morning – Rida would still be caught.

With one last glance back Iruka squared his shoulders and started running again.

_We're all idiots Pakkun, but I won't take this laying down; I hope you enjoy the show._

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoxoXoXoxox

Jaku Rida lived in the jounin apartments near the middle of the village. Apartment No. 43 – on the very top floor.

Iruka hated breaking into the top floor of anything, but Rida's pain would be worth it.

Which was why Iruka was currently hanging by one hand 9 storys up popping open a ridiculously easy lock with the other. Seriously, did the guy not think anyone would break in?

_Then again I was just at Kakashi's, course this would seem easy._

The lock snapped open with a soft 'click' and just like that Iruka found himself standing in a comfy den.

The place was much bigger than his place; the kitchen appeared to be its own separate room with a dining room half attached. The den in which he was standing was sunken into the floor separating it from the dining room and entrance hall, a hallway lead off the side and upon reaching it Iruka saw it was long and had four doors, two on each side.

None of which were open.

He sighed; they just had to make this hard didn't they?

Ignoring the kitchen for now he moved down the hall, he could feel the traps but there weren't that many truth be told, but he supposed that was normal, Raidou had once told him he was as paranoid as an ANBU when it can to the number of traps his house supported.

Reaching the first door on the left he quietly twisted the handle and peeked in side, it held a neatly made bed, side tables and desk with no chair and two paintings; guestroom - not helpful.

The next door – two steps down and on the right – was opened carefully as the first and revealed beige tiles and a shower mat; the bathroom – jackpot.

Leaving the door open just a crack so he could hear if anyone started to move down the hall Iruka turned and glanced around the large bathroom.

It was colored in light browns and beige like the rest of the house, and wide counter that held a bowl sink. The bathtub made Iruka a little jealous, it was huge and _round_. Seriously, he had always wanted a round tub, they looked so comfy. The shower head came out of the middle of the ceiling, aimed straight down at the tub.

Iruka had been in a hotel with a shower head like that before, they were nice, and with the water coming straight down like that instead of the normal curve it felt it you were in a warm rain. Iruka had liked it, very much.

Giving the tub and shower head one more jealous pout he got to work. The hip bag was opened again and this time an ink pot and brush were pulled from its depths.

Ginning like a manic Iruka crawled into the huge porcelain bowl and popped the lid off the ink before dipping into the pot with the brush, carefully coating the soft tip and moving it to the cool white in front of him.

Quickly, with steady and skilled hand he began drawing.

Around the entire length of the tub he moved; the still and sure hand never making so much as a twitch in the lines. Once the full circle had been made the signs drawn in black shimmered once before sinking into the white and vanishing from sight. They wouldn't appear again

Until they got wet that is.

Capping the ink and cleaning the brush on his pants Iruka quickly stowed them back in the bag before he move to the counter and began examining the hygiene products scattered over its surface. One more object was pulled from the bag and Iruka grinned down at the tube of glue in his hand.

Ok, fine, it was childish – but damn funny.

He'd made sure to get non-toxic as he needed the guy alive and he'd discovered as a kid that if chakra was mixed with it would stay wet and sticky up to 8 hours. Still grinning Iruka grabbed the only tooth brush on the counter. Popped the lid on the glue he smeared the barest amount on the bristles.

Putting it back down in the place he had found it he grabbed the hair brush next, biting back a whoop of glee when he saw it was the soft bristle kind. After removing a few hairs from the base and tucking them safely away into his bag Iruka bit back his very evil cackle and vented a good deal of anger out on the poor object in his hand, a full three quarters of the tube of glue was smeared over the brush and rubbed down to the very base.

_Try getting that out tomorrow you bastard._

Figuring that was probably good for the bathroom Iruka slipped back out of the door and shut it quietly behind him. He knew by now the other two doors would most likely lead to Rida's room and maybe a storage room but he didn't need to do anything in them.

Turning he moved back down the hall and through the living room. Gliding down the entrance hall he found what he needed, resting on a dresser by the door.

Rida's keys.

Ninja didn't really have much need for keys so of course Rida only had two. After an inspection Iruka knew the gold one was the house and the other for a safety deposit box at the bank (what kind of person carries those together?)

Picking the key chain up Iruka studied them a moment before pulling the next thing from his bag, chakra mold.

It was a commonly used tool for ninja but he and Anko had made some minor – tweaks – to theirs, not only would this stuff hold any shape wanted it would vanish when released by the chakra owner – no matter how far way the person was.

Well, that was the _theory_ anyway; the siblings had only been able to test it as far as Sana – Anko going on the mission and Iruka releasing the mold, unfortunately the object that Anko had chosen to copy had been the peace gift meant for the Kage. Needless to say having the engraved sword vanish from mid-air had not gone over well and the siblings had been banned from ever testing their 'creations' while on missions again.

The mold also had some side effects that seemed to happen once out of every seven times used, small things like setting fire, turning into a goo that spread then hardened into a crystal like substance or vanishing whatever it was touching as well.

Small things, nothing to worry about.

Taking the mold Iruka pressed the keys and the chain they were on into the middle and waited one minute.

The chakra in the mild worked quickly, pushing the keys out before it formed itself into a perfect replica.

This he dropped back on top of the dresser before taking the real keys and placing them under the dresser where they wouldn't get lost (well, _he_ would know where they were)

One last thing left the bag, a seal; this was place out of sight over the door frame. Rida wouldn't see it and wouldn't feel it but _it_ would feel _him_ when he walked out and locked the door so Iruka would know exactly when the jounin was out of the house.

A jounin, locking himself out of the house – the grape vine was going to _love_ that.

The last stop was the kitchen. On their mission Rida had boasted he was a _very_ good cook, Iruka didn't know whether or not it was true and as he himself fed 4 or more ninja everyday he hadn't really cared at the time, but the information was very helpful now.

Rida used his kitchen – something you could never just assume when it came to ninja (well, when it came to anyone really but one could argue the number of things that could go wrong in the kitchen doubled, tripled even when it came to ninja and the wonderful things called chakra and jutsus – which were not meant to be used for cooking, no matter what Genma and Anko thought)

So hitting the place was a dead obvious thing to do, nothing life threatening of course but still, there were many simple little things that could be done and would annoy the hell out of the jounin, who at that point in time wouldn't be having a very good morning anyway – not if he showered and brushed his hair before making breakfast.

The screws on the fridge door were loosened as were the ones on the cupboard handles, all counter appliances were unplugged then put back in place, labels on cans were switched and the contents of cereal boxes swapped and just because he had to – the automatic coffee machine was plugged back in and the settings changed from 7:00am to 7:30am, enough time for Rida to figure out something was wrong with it.

The default setting was also switched from half pot to two pots on non-stop. Iruka figured the jounin would need some extra coffee at that point in time.

One last glance around the kitchen had him smiling before gliding back out to the den and heading for the window when the sight of the stereo stopped him in his tracks, the impish grin curling the edges of his lips.

He stalked over to it and began pushing buttons, delighted to find that, it too, was on a timer. Apparently Rida liked to have soft piano music playing in the morning as the stereo was set to turn itself on just after the coffee.

Iruka had nothing against some good piano music, he loved really, its just he had a feeling Rida-_sama _would need his morning vamped up – just a touch.

The small music player that had always been left in the hip pouch was pulled out and plugged into the fancy system; he set the song and turned the volume up to max.

The smile grew was he tucked the player out of sight and stood.

If the extra coffee didn't wake Rida up, this certainly would.

Turning Iruka quickly crossed the room and slipped out of the window. Hanging from one hand again he snapped the lock back in place then let go, enjoying the 8 story drop before he grabbed a clothes line and flipped, finishing the fall slower and landing softly in the alley.

A glance at his watch told Iruka it was 3:00 in the morning. He hummed thoughtfully then looked down at his apparel, a tight black tank, black pants, boots and fingerless gloves.

Ya it was fine, if the bar let Gai in they would let him.

Strolling out of the alley Iruka stuck his hands in his pockets, humming as he headed to the bar where Anko was waiting for a report. A half hour there and he'd go home to sleep for a few hours before heading back out to see what had happened.

The stage was set – begin the madness.

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

"RRWWWKKKYYYY!"

The butchered form of his name was yelled at him from across the bar as soon as he stepped through the door and he glared at the clearly very drunk woman as he walked over to the booth.

"Anko, I've told you not to call me that"

The purple haired Kounichi pouted sulkily at him as she leaned over the green clad man beside her "But its ccwwwtttteee"

Iruka huffed and slid in besides a grinning Genma "Why do you guys insist on mutilating _my _name"

Genma's grin widened and he threw an arm over the slender shoulders "Because you're the cutest of all of us, we _have _to give you the pet names – it's an unwritten rule of big siblings"

Anko matched the blonds grin as she wrapped both arms around her boyfriend "He's right; we have to do it, besides 'Iruka' is just so easy to pet name"

Iruka snorted and shook his head "Don't make that sound like a challenge, cause I _will_ accept it. Good to see you back again Gai, you ok?"

The tijutsu user beamed at him while the arm wrapped around Anko tightened its hold and pulled the snuggling woman closer "I'm perfectly fine Sensei, not one scratch on me"

"_I _will be the judge of that" Anko giggled as she pressed her mouth to the broad chin and began to nibble.

"WOOH Anko, you forget we're here? Keep it in till the doors closed please"

Anko stuck her tongue out at the blond before going back to licking the slowly crimsoning man "Can it Gen, like you've ever cared about privacy in your life"

"Hey" the seabon was twirled around pale fingers skillfully as the blond man huffed indignantly "I do care about privacy! At least with you guys I do!"

Anko snorted "You walk in on Ruka when he's in the shower – frequently"

Iruka laughed at Genma's hurt and shocked expression, he knew Genma would never be hurt or ashamed from such an accusation, it was part of his charm.

Leaning over the table he stage whispered to the grinning Gai "See what I've had to put up with alone all these years? Thank goodness you're here now"

That had Gai hooting with laughter as Genma smiled and Anko positively beamed that her two brothers accepted her boyfriend into the family so willingly.

Iruka sighed happily, soaking in the scene before him, trying to capture the feeling, the picture - _Mother? You would have loved these guy too, I know you would have._

"Hey Ruru, want something to drink?" Anko pulled him from his happy musing by pushing her shot glass toward him but he shook his head.

"No thinks Ang" she scowled good naturedly at the pet name "I want to head home soon here, just came in to give the ordered report"

That got her attention – Gai's and Genma's too. Anko's eyes glittered dangerously and Genma's smile grew hard with grim amusement while Gai's smile disappeared as he gazed sadly at the chuunin.

"Kitten and Genma have been telling me of my rivals most un hip actions this weekend" Gai shook his head as if in hopelessness "I can't say I agree with the idea of revenge be I can't say I don't understand it either. This Rida deserves it at the least. Anko says you also wish I help in a small way?"

Iruka nodded at the older man while Genma mouthed 'kitten?' mockingly at Anko who kicked the blond under table – hard and judging by the yelp and curse in a very personal area too.

To his credit Iruka ignored the two as he motioned Gai to come closer. The other man obliged by standing and walking over to his side of the table and sliding into the seat next to him.

"Alright Sensei, I will help in the regaining of your honor, but I draw the line at-"

"You won't hurt anyone"

Gai nodded his thanks "Good, now what do I do"

Iruka smiled and shrugged "Not much, your normal agenda really, only with an added help"

"Pardon?"

The smile grew to a grin and the chuunin pulled a plain, clear grey disk from his hip bag.

"This" the disk was handed to the jounin who took it carefully "Is a tracking screen, when the device it is attached to is turned on numbers will appear – you know how to read longitude and latitude correct?" the bowl cut bobbed once "Good, its range is the village – and only the village, if the target goes out side of the city limits the tracker will shut down so it will not endanger the person its attached to if their on a mission"

Gai nodded again "Very clever Sensei, but who is this attached to?"

"Kakashi"

The man's blank look had Iruka fighting back giggles, by now Genma and Anko were over their spat and listening too, smug smiles on both of their faces.

"Umm, why does this need to be attached to Kakashi?"

"So you can find him of course"

"…I still don't get it"

Iruka sighed "Kakashi is still on leave until next week, so he'll be around tomorrow. Want we want you to do it use the tracker to find Kakashi and challenge him, all day"

There was a slightly hazy look in the jounin's eyes "All day?"

_Hook_

"Any challenges? All day?"

_Line_

"With no way from him to run from our competitions of youth?"

_Sinker_

"I WILL DO IT SENSEI!" the small disk was stared at lovingly before being stowed safely away into the flank vest. Iruka smirked triumphantly as the tijutsu user moved back to the other side of the booth and resumed his affectionate hold on Anko.

The final stage set. Operation Never-ending Youthful Challenge; complete.

_I'm sorry Kakashi – sorta._

Genma's arm was back around his shoulders and he found himself leaning into the blond's warmth happily "Hey Gen, what's up?"

He heard the Tukubetsu hummed "Mmm, just thinking, is it ok if I stay at your place tonight?"

Iruka craned his neck around so he could look up at the other man "Of course you can stay, you can always stay, just, what happened? Your place is nicer than mine"

"He forgot to pay rent again, the landlord sealed him out" Anko giggled at stuck her tongue out at the glaring blond.

"It's not my fault!" Genma pouted sulkily "He should send reminders or something!"

"He _does_" Iruka laughed along with his sister "You just forget every time"

"Why can't you just go pay now?" Gai's innocent comment sent the poor jounin into helpless sobs.

"I _tried_ but my landlord is gone! He left a note that said come back on Wednesday!" the note was pulled from the blonds pocket and thrown onto the table where it was snatched up by a still giggling Anko.

The giggles got worse after the kounichi read the sorry note "_dear_ _Gemma_, _you are three months late on payment – again – I don't know why I bother, I'd make more money if I just sold your stuff. You're damn lucky my wife and daughter feel sorry for your lame excuse for an ass. You will pay the three months in full as well as in advance for the next month. I'll be back on Wednesday, have a good week."_

Gai looked shocked while Iruka and Anko dissolved into fits of laughter "Does your landlord always talk to you like that?"

Genma simply whimpered and buried his head in his arms While Iruka struggled to breath "His landlord is a shinobi, one who's been Genma's captain on more than one occasion, it's why he puts up with Gen, he's not a bad guy, just a bit snarky."

Gai's expression cleared at that and he nodded his understanding while Iruka worked at pulling Genma upright by rubbing the blonds shoulders "It's fine, you've got the money right?" the bandanaed head nodded but remained face down in the table "Ok, then you just stay at my place till Wednesday when you can go and beg for you place back"

Iruka laughed when Genma straightened and pulled him into a hug "thankyouthankyou, you're the best little brother Ruka"

"Don't you forget that" Iruka smiled as he returned the hug "And don't expect anything spectacular for breakfast, if I even wake up enough to make something"

Genma huffed good naturedly and muttered "Fine" before Anko interrupted by gasping and bouncing in her seat.

"That reminds me! Ruuukkkkaaa"

Iruka gave the kounichi a blank stare "What?"

"Would you make pizza tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"Gai's never had your pizza!"

"Ah" oh that reminded him "Sure I can make pizza but Ibiki will be there just to warn you"

"Ibiki?" the name was said at the same time by all three people, Anko tilted her head to the side.

"Why's Ibiki coming?"

"Cause I invited him"

Anko's mouth moved to form a little O while Genma smiled and Gai shrugged "I have no issues with Ibiki-san, he's a very good ninja. What may we bring to the dinner Sensei?"

Iruka smiled, more than a little relived the others were fine with the added dinner guest "Nothing really unless you have any skill in baking"

Gai brightened and he flashed a sitting good guy pose "I make excellent chocolate volcano cake so I'm told"

Anko's wide eyes and vigorous nodding had the other two cracking up again – Anko with chocolate cake was happier than a Naruto with an endless supply of raman.

Iruka's laughing fit was stopped by a yawn that left him blinking sleepily and poking Genma in the side to get his attention. Genma smiled when he looked over at his little brother and nodded before slipping out of the booth and reaching down to help the tired chuunin up.

"Heading home?" Gai stood and reached out to hug both of them good night before stepping back to let Anko get hers. The still tipsy woman insisted on two hugs and a kiss each before she would willingly let them leave.

Genma looped their arms together as they walked through the bar doors and out into the cool early morning air. Iruka sigh, leaning against his big brother happily as they walked in comfortable silence.

Glancing up at the stars Iruka smiled as his mother's story of stars being loved one gone ahead came back to him.

_Hey Oka-san, are you smiling too?_

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

**Mmm, not the best ending to the chapter…*shrugs* oh well I think it's still sweet. Did you like the prank set up? And the dogs? I've never written them before but I absolutely love them. Oh, and any guesses on what the symbols Ruka drew on Rida's bathtub will do once wet? *cackles gleefully***

**Oh! And I would like to say that I have passed 40,000 words! I have never written that much in one story before! *dances happily***


	6. what does not kill me

**Hello my freaky darlings! sorry this took so long...*sweat drop*  
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**This chapter is a bit different as I wanted to show you all the chaos rather then tell you, so it is written for three different (four actually) points of view, I hope none of you find this hard to read...I also hope it lives up to the expectations of you, the readers.**

**I'm sure many of you could do much better but as it's my story this is what we all get…**

****Oh, and I am thrilled to say I got to add more of the dogs into this chapter, I love the dogs so this made me happy.****

**I'd like to thank InnocentGrace for one of the pranks in this chap, hopefully you recognize it!**

**Enjoy the madness darlings!**

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

_That which does not kill me; _

_Had been run pretty damn fast._

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

Iruka snuggled closer to the wonderful warm body wrapped around his and sighed happily, the dark brown eyes snapping open seconds later when the realization hit him.

_Body? But I didn't-_

"What the hell Genma!"

There was a thwack and a thud as the blond was shoved from the bed to land on the floor.

"Oooooowwww"

Iruka huffed and sat up, wrapping the sheets around his half naked form as he stared down at the Jounin on the floor. Genma was rubbing his head and pouting in an injured way as if he wasn't a perv who had snuck uninvited into the bed and was really the victim in the whole thing.

"Rukaaa, that was mean" the pout became ridiculously exaggerated and Iruka had to stop his lips from twitching – the instant you let Genma know you thought he was being funny, he won.

"Is there something wrong with the couch bed Genma?" it took all of his will power to resist the pitiful looking man on the floor – and he was the master of the puppy dog eyes!

"Nothing's wrong with it…" ok, the dejected little mumble was pushing it "Was cold and wanted snuggles"

"Snuggles?" Iruka rolled his eyes "What kind of 30 year old assassin asks for 'snuggles'"

"The cute kind?"

He couldn't do it, the laughter won out and Iruka collapsed on the mattress gasping for air while Genma grinned smugly for a moment before pouncing, sending his little brother into a new fit of laughter as he pinned the brunet down with one hand and used to other to tickle the bare mocha skin of the younger man's stomach.

"G-Genma – Pl – Please – N – No more!" Iruka gasped, trying desperately to struggle free of the blonds hold as the nimble fingers played up and down his abs "Genma!"

One of his feet found a pillow and Iruka used his toes to grab it before swinging his leg around to catch the older man in the head.

"Gah!"

Genma's hold was loosened when he pitched forward in surprise from the solid hit. Iruka reacted instantly; grabbing at the pillow with his now free hands and swinging it once more at the blond.

Genma saw the fluffy weapon heading his way but he's duck was foiled by the sheets which had become wrapped around his legs, the blow got him full in the mouth before he toppled over face first onto the bed.

"You're violent in the morning you know that?" Genma's words were muffed by his mouth full of bed but it only made Iruka laugh harder.

"Oh stop pouting, you started it" Iruka glared at the Jounin who was once again pouting at him whilst trying to free himself from the tangle of sheets.

He hopped off the bed and grabbed one of his new tees to pull on as he glided out of the room. A quick glance at the couch bed revealed the sheets were barely rumpled – Genma must have crawled in right after he fell asleep.

Gliding into the kitchen Iruka pulled out two slices of raisin bread and popped them into the toaster before turning around to dig in the fridge to find the yogurt and orange juice; setting them out on the counter beside glasses and bowls.

Genma emerged from the bedroom, looking rather rumpled and still pouting pitifully.

"Do I at least get a good morning hug?"

Iruka snorted "You got an all-night cuddle and now you want _more_?"

The pout didn't lessen and Iruka sighed "Come here"

Genma bound over like a happy puppy, skillfully picking up the small sensei and spinning him around, careful not to hit him on any of the furniture as he did. Iruka's yelp quickly turned to laughter as he clung tight to the blond.

"Wooh" Iruka swayed dizzily on his feet once Genma put him down, the Jounin simply laughed and move out of the way when the toaster 'dinged' happily, making the chuunin jump and dash for the appliance.

Gingerly he pulled the slightly burnt pieces of toast out and hummed thoughtfully before deeming them eatable if buttered and coated with cinnamon sugar.

Genma yawned while nodding thanks for the food as it was placed in front of him. Munching on his toast he glanced out the window where sunlight was streaming in happily.

"Looks like another gorgeous day today"

Iruka hummed at looked over at the clock flashing 7:34am.

_I wonder how Rida and Kakashi's mornings are going…_

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

"I hate Mondays"

Kakashi moaned into his pillow and rolled gracefully to the edge of the bed. Finding it he sat up, placing his feet on the floor and holding his head in his hands, nursing his wicked headache.

Last two nights sleep had been some of worst in a long time and he knew why. He didn't know exactly why he felt so bad just that he did, like a little sixth sense. He knew it had something to do with the whole mess with Iruka. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling he'd hurt the sensei in some way through his ignorance.

Sure, he hadn't known at the time that Rida's gossip was lowest of the low and a severe break in trust but there was the little detail that he'd over looked the night of.

Iruka wasn't a slut and everyone knew that.

So why had the chuunin taken him home?

Kakashi shook his head and sighed. He'd have to go and talk to the chuunin today, he should have done it yesterday, hell he should have done it at the bar but he was scared and confused and hadn't known what to say at the time.

He liked Iruka and respected him, he enjoyed the talks they'd have when they ran into one another at the bar or Ichraku and the feelings had only doubled after Saturday night. He'd always thought of them as sort of friends and the thought of hurting the guy or the sensei being mad at him stung more than he'd realized.

Yawning and stretching Kakashi stood and headed for the dresser, a fresh uniform was pulled out blindly and he headed for the shower. Already planning how to go about talking to the chuunin, should he bring something? Or would that be weird? He would have to test the waters first, to see how Iruka was feeling toward him – keep eye contact, as the rich chocolate eyes were not just attractive but expressive.

If Iruka was hurt or upset it would show in his eyes.

Kakashi mentally gave himself a kick in the arse for not looking at the sensei at the bar – so many things he should and should not have done.

The Jounin sighed again and dropped the uniform on the bathroom sink before reaching over and turning on the tap, holding his hand under the water for a few seconds till it got warm enough for him to step beneath.

He sighed happily and leaned his head back; closing his eyes as the water hit him gently, soothing him.

He was probably blowing this whole Iruka thing out of portion, Iruka would have heard the story by now – he did work the mission room – and from the things Kakashi had heard from the chuunin's friends and loyal students the sensei could more then take care of himself.

Kakashi had a very strong feeling Rida would get his deserts.

Smiling softly to himself Kakashi reached for his shampoo and began to lath it through his hair.

Xox

Pakkun was having a very good morning.

The sun was shining through the windows and filling the living room so him and the pack could sunbathe without even having to move, Bull didn't have to pee yet so he still had his comfy spot on top of the black mass of fur and, thanks to the sensei, Guruko didn't have a crick in his back and so the floppy eared mutt wasn't complaining.

The morning was calm and quiet.

Pakkun's nose twitched as he breathed in deeply, yup still there – but only just barely. He very much doubted the rest of the pack would smell it unless they also knew the chuunin had been there, well Bull might be able to but his was the best nose in the pack. After his of course.

The sensei's scent was fading and Pakkun found himself a little sad for it, the guy smelt very nice, spicy and wild with a touch of orange and something that reminded him of rain. It blended with the bosses scent in a very nice way.

Thinking on that, he wondered what exactly the brat had done to piss off the normally calm sensei, the guy was unusually tolerant – the loud orange pup testified to that – so what had Kakashi done? More important, what had Iruka done to the house?

Pakkun wasn't going to tell – unless the brat ended up in the hospital and he seriously doubted it would come to that – speeches and lectures only went so far and it wasn't like Kakashi actually listened most of the time.

Whatever the sensei had done Pakkun felt it would be good for the pup – so long as he didn't have to deal with too much whining.

Sniffing one more he rolled off of the comfy black mass, Bull twitched slightly, snored loudly and pushed one huge paw out, the furry black club hit Uhei in the stomach causing the bandaged dog to dry heave and roll out of the way, waking up only enough to glare at the massive dog and huff indignantly before closing his eyes again and settling back down.

Pakkun shook his head and trotted out of the sleeping pack toward the kitchen. Heading to the food bowls for a drink of water before going back to mulling of the situation he found himself in.

It was a bit complicated, he liked the sensei but he was bound to Kakashi. Iruka had come uninvited into the house but Kakashi probably deserved it .Kakashi was an idiot and Iruka was a very nice guy.

A very nice guy who gave _very_ good belly rubs

Oh the problems of life.

He could talk it over with the pack but they would most likely have the same view he did. The best choice he could see was maybe trying to talk to the sensei later and see what he-

A shriek broke through the air and had all the dogs jolting awake while Pakkun jumped in fright, knocking the water bowl over as he did.

There was no longer any living person who knew that Kakashi screamed like a girl –high pitched and loud – this was due to the fact the guy only screamed when startled and at his current age and skill level that was a very hard thing to do.

The last time he'd heard the brat shriek like that the kid had been 14 – his first year in ANBU – and somehow the idiot had ended up too close to the edge of a steep drop into freezing cold glacier lake. The ground the team had been standing on crumbled and while the other two shinobi had been able to catch themselves Kakashi had been that perfect two and a half steps farther making the solid wall just that much out of reach.

The shriek was the last thing heard before the kid hit the water.

The captain had continued to tease Kakashi for screaming like a girl till the man died six months later.

At any rate sound didn't mean pain, just extreme shock. And Pakkun would bet every bone in the backyard Iruka was behind it.

There was the sound of claws scrabbling against the floor as all 8 dogs dashed for the bedroom, Bisuke in the lead and Bull in the back, trying not to trample the others.

The bedroom was empty but the bathroom door was open a crack and Kakashi's scent filled the steam pouring from it. The other dogs skidded to a stop and hesitated a moment giving Pakkun his opportunity to get in front.

Not stopping in his mad dash he plowed straight into the door, knocking it wide open as he rushed toward the bare leg of his master.

"Kakashi what's w-"Pakkun slipped slightly on the damp tile making his stop a little less than graceful and causing him to cut off his words before he could finish. He tried to catch himself but still ended up smacking his face against Kakashi's well-muscled calf.

It hurt a lot more than you'd think.

The lack of response or movement to having the 11 pound pug slam into his leg had Pakken worried, normally Kakashi would be howling with laughter by now – once he had checked to make sure he was ok – but the white haired pup hadn't even _moved_.

Pakkun ran his gaze up his master's form, looking for something that would cause the distress, mentally checking off the list as he went up. The list stopped once he reached Kakashi's head, jumping up on the counter even so he could see the mismatched eyes.

The left one was closed and the right seemed fine, at least, he thought so, but it was hard to tell with the pure horror filling it.

"Hey brat" Pakkun raised a paw and waved it in front of the shell shocked ninja making the right eye blink "What's wrong? Why'd you shriek?"

There was no "I do NOT SHRIEK" no "Can it mutt" or even the usual muttering and glare the kid used when he was too tired to be sarcastic, only one pitiful and worrying – whimper.

Oh this was bad.

So why did he feel like laughing?

"Kakashi" the paw poked this time "Come on brat what happened"

That got a response, the dark orb turned away from the mirror toward him, a moment passed before the nin whispered despairingly "My hair"

"Your hair?" Pakkun's head tilted and he gazed at the kids hair, it seemed fine to him "What about you hair?"

He got an a panicked 'Your joking right?' look for that one before the dark eye widened in realization.

"What?" Pakkun poked him again and Kakashi blinked.

"You're a dog"

He snorted "Well done gumshoe, next you'll be saying the sky's up"

The jib didn't get the normal yell just another blink.

"Dogs are colour blind"

"What are y-" Pakkun froze and looked back up at his master's hair. Now that Kakashi said it the wild strands did look a little – darker? It was hard to tell but the white Pakkun could normally see now seemed to be an off grey to him.

Now colours weren't very important to a dog but Pakkun knew that humans had this strange and annoying obsession with them. He'd heard things about eyes, lips, clothing, hair and even some very ridiculous stuff about skin colours.

What did it matter? It's not like if the sun wasn't – what was it called? Ah yes – 'yellow' it would stop being warm, besides, from what he'd heard when the kid was younger white wasn't a normal hair colour for someone his age anyway, so what was the fuss about?

Pakkun voiced this thought to Kakashi only to be faced with a glare that must have been perfected when the moody Uchiha pup was under the Jounin's commanded cause _damn_ that was scary.

"Ok, Fine!" Pakkun huffed, why he bothered was beyond him "Just tell me what the hell is wrong with the colour!"

"Green"

Pakkun tilted his head again "Sorry, what?"

"Green" Kakashi's voice grew louder and a slightly crazed look flashed through his eye as he spoke the words very slowly "My. Hair. Is. _Green._"

Green, that was grass right? Grass was nice, though he didn't think Kakashi would agree with this thinking – not without killing him.

A soft timid 'hum' from the doorway had both dog and master looking over and down to see the rest of the pack standing there doing what they did best – letting Pakkun deal with the crazy unstable pup; by himself.

The little noise had come from Bisuke who seemed to have deemed it semi safe to intervene "Kaka?" the damn pup was playing cute! Pakkun snorted, cheating little git.

"Why would someone dye you hair Kaka?" ok, the nick-name was starting to bug him, especially since Busuke was the only one Kakashi would let get away with calling him that.

The copy nin sighed "I don't know Bisuke, maybe I made them mad"

"But people usually try to kill you when you piss them off don't they?" Shiba's mohawk flopped to the side with his head while Akino snorted.

"No you idiot, whoever did this is probably a fellow shinobi and they just wanted to get back in a small but non-lethal way"

"Someone from the village? Who?"Urishi's nose crinkled in thought at his own question.

"Kakashi does piss a good deal of people on a regular basis" Uhei shook his head sadly "It could be anyone"

Anyone. Pakkun almost choked on the howl of laughter wanting to escape when he realized he did know who it was.

_Damn Iruka you are __good_

Kakashi shook his head and sighed again "It doesn't matter, I'll figure it out – and how to reverse it – and just henge until then"

The long pale fingers flashed through the hand signs at blinding speed and a cloud of smoke covered the Jounin's tall body. Kakashi reappeared a moment later only to have the look of horror return to his eye at an alarming rate.

The hands moved again and smoke once again filled the room, the dark eye to on an edge of hysterical panic this time. If Pakkun'd had hand's he would have slammed one over his face.

"What's wrong now brat"

"Henge blocked"

Pakkun's eyes grew wide while the pack started muttering to each other – or snickering, it was hard to tell.

_Scratch that Iruka you're a bloody genius_

"This is not happening" Kakashi's moan was so damn _sad_ Pakkun felt a little bad for him. Public ridicule probably wasn't the best thing for the Jounin to go through, even if he did deserve it. Pakkun still wanted to know what he'd done to Iruka this time to cause such a comeback – but he'd worry about that later.

"Come on Kakashi, it's not that bad, you're on leave so you can just stay inside for a while and figure this thing out while we go looking for a way to reverse it, ok?"

Kakashi pulled his hand away from his face and nodded hesitantly.

"Good now put some cloths on and get us food before I tell Bull to eat your shoes"

That made Kakashi smile just a little while Bull looked offended and gave his pack leader a droopy glare. It looked like everything was going to be fine for the time being when-

"Hey Kakashi, when you say your hair is green do you mean _all_ of it?" how Guruko managed to sound innocent while asking such a question Pakkun would never know, Kakashi glanced down mournfully before grabbing the uniform from the counter and stalking out of the bathroom, pointedly ignoring the floppy eared moron.

Pakkun sighed; it was going to be an interesting day…

XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoX

Rida hated alarm clocks, they were a thing created to be hated really, in fact Rida was positive that no sane person would ever be found saying "oh yes, I love my alarm clock, don't you?"

The black haired man moaned and rolled in the bed so he could slap at the necessary annoyance and shut it off.

Necessary annoyance. That was actually a very good name for it. Yes, an alarm clock was a necessary annoyance – just like grocery shopping and chuunin.

Rida smiled - though it wasn't really a nice one - as he stood up and stretched. He glanced over at the empty bed once more and indulged in a sulky glare.

Stupid chuunin, because of that little 'slip' of his the other night Rida hadn't been able to pick anyone up for the last two, it was downright irritating. Normally he would be waking up next to gorgeous blond or cute brunet and bribing them with breakfast after one last romp.

The Jounin snarled then took in a breath, he couldn't let one useless school teacher do that, he had to remain controlled, besides, a few more days and something else would happen that would make everyone forget his little less-than-honorable move.

But the sensei would keep his unwanted reputation as a good fuck for a long time – Kakashi had unwittingly helped with that.

Rida closed his eyes and pictured it – annoying the sensei may be the guy still had been the best time he'd ever had, the way he had made all the right sounds, touched all the right places and moved in all the right ways at just the right time. The way the chocolate eyes had turned near black, the way the mocha skin had felt sliding against his.

Rida swallowed and licked his lips, looking down he grinned. Well, it was the chuunin's fault he couldn't get any; he saw nothing wrong with using the memory of the guy to get off.

Tossing the sheets into a semi made pile first he headed for the bathroom, still thinking about the chuunin as he stepped into the tiled room and shut the door. Bondage with the guy would probably be very hot, the slender form wrapped in leather and buckles – arm restraints with calf and thigh bindings, holding the lithe little body open and ready in the perfect position.

Rida groaned, already moving to stroke himself as he reached over to turn on the tap and step under the spray. His eyes slid shut as he moved his hand faster, licking his lips at the images of the little sensei spread facedown over a desk, moaning while his cock slid in and out of the lithe body, slick and –

"Ribit"

Rida's eye snapped open as his head whipped around. Everything seemed to freeze for a moment as the black eyes stared blankly at the 40 or so pairs staring back at him before the Jounin broke the spell and let loose a scream that had all his bath mates hopping out of the tub with starling speed.

The rational part of Rida's mind kicked back in gear and he flashed through a freezing jutsu, making all the frogs stop in mid-hop before they could escape into the rest of the house. Unfortunately the things kept mineralizing until he shut off the water, at this point though there must have been over one hundred of them, taking up any space available and standing on their kin if there wasn't.

The bath room was full of green, the croaking had risen to a deafening level and his jutsu couldn't hold all of them in its grasp. Try as he might Rida could still see them slipping out from under the door as he started attacking the ones still frozen.

He'd already guessed that they were summons and had proved it went the croaking annoyance disappeared into a puff of smoke. Quickly he grabbed for one of his hidden kunai and began attacking the fleeing amphibians with vigor, catching all of the ones in the bathroom before running out to purge the rest of the house.

"What in the bloody blazing hell was that?" the weapon hit the wall with a loud thunk as Rida threw it as hard as he could before glancing over at the clock; already 6:56am – he'd just spent nearly a half hour chasing _frogs_. He sighed and headed back to the bathroom.

He glared at the shower which he was now denied as he was fairly sure turning it on would bring back the frogs, it meant he had to settle for just brushing his hair and a face wash until he could look at the tub properly.

He dried his face on a nearby towel before grabbing his brush with a snarl. Striding out of the bath he headed back to the bedroom for some fresh cloths.

He began pulling the brush through his wet hair as he fished a clean uniform from the closet. It was maddening, frogs in the shower? Which one of the moronic saps who called themselves his _friends_ did that?

Rida knew quite well that the idiots in his group had a running prank war; the shits found it _fun_, but it had been set down years ago to leave him out of it. It was childish and stupid and a huge waste of skill and time.

Someone it seemed had forgotten the little rule.

Rida sighed, he would just find out who and then beat the shit out of them in a spar and then everyone would remember not to cross him.

"Ow!"

The black eyes began to water as pain shot through his scalp; he tugged on his brush again only to yelp in pain again.

"What the hell?"

Zipping up his pants he ran for the mirror "It's just a big knot, it's just a big knot" he skid to a stop in front of the hall mirror, still tugging on the brush which seemed to be refusing to come out.

"This isn't happening" Rida turned his head so he could see it better and cautiously pulled at the brush. The brush however didn't separate from the thick black hair as he tugged, it fact it didn't even move from its tangled place in the base of his hair.

Rida tugged again but was rewarded with only pain as hair forcefully separated from his scalp. Reaching up to touch the brush he was horrified to find the entire brush was hard, stiff and hard.

There was no way he was going to be able to pull it out.

Cursing a hundred pains on the moron who had done this he headed for the kitchen for the scissors, he would have to cut it out.

Sighing he entered the kitchen and moved toward the right drawer when the empty coffee pot caught his eye, a glance at the clock showed it was now almost 7:15am – the pot should have been full by now.

"Oh no, I am not going without coffee today" leaning over he turned it on manually before going back to his scissor hunting, well, he would have, had the drawer handle not come off in his hand when he pulled on it.

Rida stared blankly it the curved piece of mental in his hand then back at the drawer which he could no longer open. What the hell was going on?

He slammed his fist into the wall then took in a huge breath. Control, he needed control. Opening up the bread box he grabbed a slice and popped it in the toaster, mays well start breakfast while he cut the brush out with a knife and waited for the coffee to finish brewing.

He pulled the kunai from earlier out of the wall and went back to the hall mirror, slicing at the dark strands as carefully as he could from the awkward angle, cursing in his head as he did, he'd have to get all of it cut so it wouldn't look strange and he liked the length it was now.

A few more slices and he was done, the brush being thrown to the floor as the Jounin examined the new hallow in his hair mournfully. He sighed and made a mental note to stop by the hair dressers before signing in then heading back to the kitchen, his growling stomach reminding him of the toast and coffee that waited.

Upon entering the kitchen however-

"What the Hell!"

There was coffee – everywhere. It was pouring out of the top of the pot and over the edge of the counter to spread across the floor in an alarming rate. Rida run over the sticky black liquid in his bare feet, frantically pushing buttons to make the machine stop. It gave a little gurgle and spat out one last shot of beverage once he succeeded.

Taking in a deep breath Rida looked around the kitchen then down at his coffee covered feet and ran a hand through his ruined hair in frustration, walking over to the toaster which didn't seem to have even turned on and pulled out the still untoasted bread and threw it on the counter.

He grabbed the hand and dish towel from where they were hanging on the oven door and tossed them both on the floor to start soaking up the coffee while he tried to open the cupboard that held more. 'Tried' being the key word as the handle of that came off too.

The now useless handle was thrown across the room with a loud curse and Rida attacked the drawer with his knife, prying the damned thing open to reach the needed cloth inside. He scooped them all up and dumped them on the floor.

This was pushing it, to the farthest level. Rida sighed again and decided he couldn't deal with it right then, pouring a cup of coffee from the very full pot he grabbed a bowl from the cupboard (which he had to open with the knife as well) he pulled out a box of his favorite cereal and dumped some of the contents into the bowl, only to find it was the wrong type.

Rida leaned his head against the wall before standing back up and grabbing a spoon. It didn't matter; he didn't have the energy to look for the right cereal. He reached for the fridge handle and realized he should be careful opening it a second too late.

The whole door came loose and fell to the floor with a crash, leaving the Jounin to stare at it blankly for a moment before screaming and sending the kunai deep into the wall for the second time that morning.

Rida could feel a full blown melt down coming on, but before he could do anything or even move on the thought of reattaching the fridge door the coffee machine in the corner beeped happily and turned itself back on, the black liquid streaming out of the top and into the half full pot again, filling it extremely fast.

He scrambled across the kitchen to shut it off before it overflowed again but slipped on one of the soaking wet dish towels on the floor and ended up landing face first on the tiles.

Something hot and sticky began dripping down his head, filling his hair with the aroma of coffee, Rida jumped up and hit the 'off' button and sighed, collapsing against the sticky counter when the machine mercifully shut down, he reached around and unplugged it just in case.

He looked over at the fridge door lying on the coffee drenched floor and fought the urge the scream again. Sighing miserably he walked over, hauled it up and put it back in place, using a sticking jutsu to hold it.

He had just finished sealing it in to place to deal with later when he realized he'd just sealed the milk in too.

He felt oddly detached, numb almost. Picking up his bowl of dry cereal and cup of lukewarm coffee Rida left the kitchen before anything else could go wrong.

He walked to the living room, not caring his was leaving a coffee foot print trail behind him – he didn't have the energy to care.

He was already divulging a plan, after his cereal he would change out of his coffee soaked cloths then go over to one of his weaker friends' houses to use their shower – telling them some amazingly cool anything-but the truth story for why of course – and after he was clean and calm he could go about fixing his place up and finding the fucker who had done this, and kill them.

Yes, that was a wonderful plan.

Rida was thinking on what incredible story he was going to tell the pussy later when he stepped into the den and the world exploded.

Not physically, mentally. The sound filled the house, his head and probably the whole complex too. He let go of the cup and bowl in his hands without thinking and clapped them over his ears – it didn't help much.

He stumbled to the stereo which was blaring out the bass filled tune* and hitting the machine in a blind attempt to turn it off. He ended up simply turning the volume all the way down before slamming his fist into the power button.

Blankly he stared at the room in front of him, not really seeing anything.

"I have to get out of here"

Numbly he stood and walked to the bedroom, stepping over the spilt coffee and cereal, stripping as he moved down the hall. Three minutes later he was head back out for the front, picking up his keys as he slipped out of the door.

Locking it he turned and broke into a run, heading for the closest friends house he could think of.

XoX

"So, what we going to do today?"

Iruka looked up from where he was doing to dishes and glanced over at the blond who was lounging on the couch bed.

"We? Genma I have work"

"What? But it's a long weekend! There can't be school!"

"No, but I'm back on Desk Duty for most of the day"

"Wwwhhhaaattt?" Genma hopped up and dashed back into the kitchen to wrap his arms around the younger male "But if you're working what am I going to do?"

Iruka snorted and when back to washing dishes "I'm not your personal entertainer Gen, go get Rai to do something with you"

"He's out"

"Ah" Iruka bit his lip, he always worried when they went out, they all did. He didn't get sent out very much due to his jobs – both public and non – but when summer brake started he was always put back on the list and Anko would once again start up her campaign to have him removed from it, permanently.

Her exact words were "Ruru's my _little _brother, which means I'm the one who's supposed to get my brains blown to shit before I have the chance to hit my midlife crisis, so he has to be the one to get old enough to become boring for the both of us!"

Trying to explain how Anko's mind worked was something no one would ever succeed on doing, so they left it alone.

The tightening on Genma's arms around his waist reminded him of the blond's 'problem' and he sighed

"Come on Gen, just go to the bar, or you could hang out in the mission room with me, I'm sure something interesting will happen at _some_ point"

The Jounin gave snort and Iruka could practically _feel _him grinning "Sure, I'll tag along, scope the grape vine while I'm at it"

"That'd be great, I still have one last thing to set up in the Mission room and I still need to hit Aoba, so you could watch for him"

"What are you doing to Aoba?"

Iruka flicked water over his shoulder at the older man "You'll see, now go get dressed"

Genma pouted at this for a moment then tromped to the bedroom to fish out one of the spare uniforms Iruka always kept at his place, especially for the time's he got locked out of the house and couldn't get at his stuff.

Iruka hummed quietly as he placed the last dish in the rack and pulled the plug in the sink, leaning against the counter as he watched the water swirl down the drain, going through his mental to do list.

Grab Rida's hair to use on the traps to be set in the mission room. Scent tags for Aoba, oh and stop by the store on the way home, he needed to pick up the stuff for the pizza that night.

_I wonder what Ibiki likes on pizza? I should find out._

Adding 'interrogate Anko on her bosses' favorite food' to the list Iruka nodded and headed for the bed room to grab a uniform and kick Genma out of the shower before he used all the hot water.

XoX

"Stupid freaking _green!_"

Kakashi growled as he moved around the kitchen, filling the 8 lined up bowls with different foods and amounts while his own breakfast burnt itself to a crisp in the toaster.

Kakashi wasn't a bad cook, he was just – distracted. The dogs (or whoever was the guest) came first which meant he often forgot about his own stiff until too late.

He glared at the vivid green locks that were hanging down in front of his face and shook them away violently as he poured a cup of water* into Bulls huge bowl, swirling it so the contents mixed before moving on to Guruko's and scooping half a tin of liver paste over the dry kibbles, salad tossing the lot a few times to coat the liver out evenly.

Just Bisuke left, he glanced over at the microwave to see if it was done yet when he heard the soft click of Pakkun's nails on the tile.

"Almost done Pakkun"

"Kakashi, the toasters on fire"

Kakashi snorted then glanced over to see the pug wasn't joking. The toaster was indeed on fire and the flames were starting to lick up toward the cupboards.

He yelped and flashed through a jutsu, sending a jet of water at the happily burning appliance into the corner, dosing it until it was just a hissing wet pile of blackened metal.

"That's the third one this week, maybe you should stick with cold cereal"

He growled at the pug's innocent little conversational comment but didn't reply as he opened the microwave and pulled out the half full cup of warm milk, carefully pouring it into the smallest bowl before dropping the cup in the sink and carefully piling the bowls onto a tray.

Carrying the loaded tray through the living room always proved entertaining for the Jounin, two steps from the kitchen and 7 furry heads would rise to watch his progress across the room with single minded intent.

Times like this Kakashi was very happy his Sensei had the idea of training them not to move until he whistled during meal times; Pakkun was the only one who ignored the rule but as he was the only one who wouldn't tackle him it was fine – the other 7, however, would take up battle formations and be on him before you could say 'dog pile'

Kakashi strolled through the den, tray balanced skillfully on his shoulder as he slid the porch door open with his elbow. It was a nice day outside so it stood reason to eat outdoors.

The tray was set down and the bowls spread out over the deck, Bulls in the middle so the huge dog would have enough room to move and Bisuke's in the far corner where he liked it best.

That done Kakashi sighed and stepped to the side before bringing his fingers to his mouth and releasing a sharp whistle that triggered the start of the vigorous barking. The sound of claws scrabbling against the floor increased in volume as the pack reached the wood of the deck and spread out, each heading for their own bowl.

"You're welcome you ungrateful mutts" Kakashi growled playfully at the 7 wagging tails as he headed inside, stepping aside to let Pakkun through the door before heading to the kitchen to restart his own breakfast.

Glancing mournfully at the now useless toaster Kakashi reached for the cupboard above the stove, staring at the rows of dry cereal rather dully before he grabbed the box of fruit loops and the shut the doors again.

Dropping the colourful box on the counter he turned to dig through the fridge, pulling out the yogurt and an orange from its depths. These were dropped next to the cereal as the copy nin when in search of clean bowl and spoon.

There was a soft click of paws behind him and Kakashi snorted "You done already Pakkun? Do you guys even chew?"

He knew the pug was rolling his eyes at his back but couldn't bring himself to care as his search for spoons was proving futile "Damn it! Where are all the spoons?"

"Did you wash the dishes?"

The Jounin glared at the pug "Yes Pakkun, I washed the dishes"

"When?"

"On Tuesday"

"Kakashi, its Monday"

Kakashi flushed and bit at his lip before glancing over at the sink, overflowing with dishes and sighed. He could have sworn he'd just done them.

Shifting the pots and plates to the side unearthed a pile of spoons, grabbing one he washed and dried it quickly before tossing it onto the counter with the rest of the stuff.

"Fruit loops? Should I point out the irony?"

"Shut up Pakkun and get off the counter"

The pug simply ignored him as he claimed a spot on the dark marble, smirking slightly at his master before yawning and lying down on the cool surface.

Kakashi rolled his eye but let it go. Pakkun was the only pack member who would ever dare to disobey an order, though he would never do it when it mattered; his just liked pissing Kakashi off, damned mutt.

"Why are you eating that crap anyway? I thought the only reason you have it is because you're an idiot and you asked the hyper pup to watch the house last time you went on a long mission and he got it in that mind of his to do the shopping for you"

"Yes, Naruto bought it. What's you point?"

"It's over a year old by now"

"So? It's not like it will go bad; least not in this century"

Pakkun hummed "Ya, so _why_ do you want to eat the stuff? I refuse to call it food"

Kakashi chuckled as he poured yogurt into the bowl "Says the one who likes to chew on two months old bones dug up from the ground. It's my first long holiday in six months and if the cereal hadn't killed Naruto yet I highly doubt this will permanently hurt me"

"Mmm true…" the beady eyes watched closely as the colourful circles that were the current topic were poured into the bowl with the yogurt "Umm, don't humans usually eat those with _milk_?"

Kakashi mentally sighed before answering the pug while speaking around a mouthful of sweetness "I _like_ it this way, now go way if all you're going to do is analyze my diet"

"Fine, fine, I'll lay off the loops."

"Good"

Comfortable silence filled the kitchen as Pakkun put his head down and closed his eyes while Kakashi finished his yogurt and cereal.

After licking the bowl clean Kakashi sighed and glanced over at the pile of dishes. He didn't want to do them but as he was going anywhere until he could get rid of the green hair there was no reason not to.

Reluctantly he began pulling the dishes out of the sink and piling them on the counter before turning the water on and letting it fill the sink.

"I still don't get why you don't just do them right after you eat, this takes so much more energy"

He glared at the pug who hadn't even opened his eyes "I'm usually heading out the door right after I eat Pakkun, you know that, I don't have time to wash them"

Pakkun snorted like he didn't believe the Jounin "It would take 5 minutes tops and it's not like you're overly worried about being _late_ or something."

Kakashi huffed but didn't respond as he refocused on the pan his was currently scrubbing that refused to return back to its original clean colour.

"See? If you had washed it a week ago it would still be white"

"Shut it Pakkun"

The pug just snorted and carried on "Or if you had a mate, one that actually remembered to do these things; preferably one that could cook, that would be great"

"_Pakkun"_

The ninken was pushing it, normally Kakashi didn't mind their strange discussions together but that last one was going too far.

He heard the pug jump off the counter and a second later a cold nose was pressing up against the bare skin of his calf. Looking down he was faced with Pakkun's mournful eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that"

Kakashi hummed and went back to his furious scrubbing when a puppyish whimper made him look back down.

"We just want you to be happy"

There was nothing else to say and Pakkun gave the pale leg a gentle lick before trotting out of the kitchen to join the pack back in the living room, leaving the Jounin to his thoughts.

Kakashi sighed and reached for the next pot, cursing the pug in his head. It wasn't that he didn't want a 'mate' as Pakkun had so quaintly put it, it was just he had no clue _how_.

Sure, he was more open now, it had been a good few years and through Gai, his old ANBU team mates, Asuma, Kurnai, Tsume and Team 7 – particularly Naruto – he was less inclined to flee from human contact and bonds but a partner…

Well, he'd never dated; anyone - ever.

He didn't even know where to start – or who to ask.

He sighed and finished the last dish, adding it to the precariously balanced pile, deciding to leave it to drip-dry he grabbed his orange and left the kitchen, pulling a kunai out he used it to slice a hole in the top of the fruit so he could suck the juice out.

He wondered over to the couch as he drank his 'lazy orange juice' collapsing back when the dogs moved over to make room for him.

The empty peel was tossed across the room to hit the wall and fall back down into the trash can while Kakashi leaned back and brought his legs up, weaving them around the dozing pack members.

"You leave stains doing that"

Kakashi huffed and let his eyes slip closed "I thought you lazy mutts said you'd be out sniffing for whoever dyed my hair"

"Five more minutes"

Kakashi chuckled and leaned into Bulls soft fur. Sure he was pissed but he had three straight day of nothing to do, plenty of time to figure out how to get the dye out and find the person who did it.

It's not like he had to leave the house anyway, and no one knew where he was so he was home fre-

_**BANG, BANG, BANG**_

The grey eye flew open at the sound of what seemed to be metal hitting against the front door.

"What the-?"

All the dogs were on their feet, creating a protective circle around their master as 17 eyes stared at the little door where the loud banging continued until-

"KAKASHI! MY RIVAL! THE SUN IS OUT, BLAZING BEAUTIFULLY! LET US TAKE THE BLESSING OF THE DAY AND CHALLENGE EACH OTHER YOUTHFULLY!"

The dogs glanced at each other than whipped around to look at their sliver – well, _green _ - haired master as the poor man turned ghostly pale, the grey eye widened in terror and a whimper passing through the thin lips.

"No, not Gai…"

XoX

***for the people who want to know what song Ruka used to blast Rida's speakers with, check out Mozart on Crack by S3rl - right when the beat drops (and don't forget FULL volume if you please) this idea was thanks to InnocentGrace. Hope you liked Grace!**

***if this seems strange let me explain, when you add water to dry dog food it mixes and makes a sort of gravy with the food. Some dogs love it; some will refuse to touch it. I always thought that Kakashi was the kind of person that loved his dogs so much he found out exactly what each dog liked the best.**

***giggles manically while dancing around the room gleefully*so? Was it good? This has to be one of my favorite chaps, though writing Rida's part was a pain in the – umm, well, it was annoying to write…**

**And it's not done yet. There is more chaos to come, Aoba hasn't been hit yet, Gai just showed up, Rida's still hiding and Ruka still has a date with Biki… I just realized this could take a while…**


	7. Reports are in

**Chapter 7… HOLY SHIT I'VE WRITTEN 7 CHAPTERS! That is...wow…I'm proud of myself! *beams***

**Jiraiya: we're sorry people, we tried to get her to post sooner but instead of hiding her chocolate we stopped her from listening to her music**

**Kakashi: lesson learnt, she went into withdrawal and couldn't do anything really…**

**Ryth: *twitches and turns her dance music louder***

**Oh, I would like to thank Lizmun for their kind words, they really did make me smile (read: grinned like an idiot and made some very undignified sounds)**

**uhh, IrukaLover, one of your idea's is in here, hopefully you spot it!**

XoX

_All reports are in;_

_Life is officially unfair_

XoX

Iruka peeked around the edge of the mission room's double door, scouting out the place before he entered. A quick glance around showed it was relatively calm, there was no singing, no twister and nothing was on fire at least.

"You're paranoid, you know that right?"

The chuunin glared over his shoulder at the blond standing behind him, hand in his jean pockets and seabon between his lips.

"And you say that why?"

The hazel eyes rolled as the Jounin walked over to the smaller man and pulled him into a sideways hug.

"It's the mission room, not a Sound dungeon"

Iruka snorted "You know very well that is not true Gen"

"Ok, it gets crazy in there but nothings blown up or been destroyed in over month, not since Tsunade threatened that six month mission to Mist rainforest to all the Jounin after that incident with the filing room being trapped in a genjutsu and setting on fire."

Iruka shuddered at the reminder and pushed the blond off before turning to look at him with a blank and bored expression.

"Last week Rikda-san and Jrogo-sama got into an argument about summons. To finish it they decided to summon theirs and compare"

Genma blinked, clearly not understanding what the big deal was, Iruka sighed.

"Rikda-san summons are lions. Jrogo-sama summons rhinos"

Genma's stunned silence told him he'd made his point.

Smiling he turned and strode into the room. A quick glance at the desks to see who his co-works were for the day had him brightening happily.

"Ko! Zumo!"

The two older chuunin glanced up at the sound of his voice, the spiky haired man grinning when he saw him while his companion let out a happy little cheer before hopping up to pull the small brunet into a hug.

"Ruka!"

Iruka laughed as he clung to his friend "Hey Zumo, you two have a good weekend?"

He could see the pale face flushing out of the corner of his eye and held back a chuckle; a very good weekend apparently.

"I-it was great. Baby we have to talk to you"

Iruka's brow rose as he let his friend lead him back to the desk and sit him down between their chairs.

Kotetsu and Izumo had been his friends for years; he'd known them from way before they became a couple. The result of this was they had at some point decided that as long as he was single he was welcome into their home –and bed – whenever he wished. Iruka found this rather freaky and had often told them there was no need – only to be dragged home with them when he tried to protest.

He was the only one they would let in like that and they were the only ones he trusted enough to allow it.

Now he was in the strangely familiar and comfortable place between the two of them, taking in Ko's thin lipped frown and Izumo's almost scared heart-in-eyes gaze.

He was starting to worry "G-guys? What's wrong? What happened?"

He could see Genma moving closer out of the corner of his eye but kept most of his attention on Izumo, who he knew would do most of the talking.

"Baby, we were at the bar the other night and we heard someone talking about you, it was one of the Jounin and he was saying –dangerous – things"

"Dangerous?"

"One of the Jounin seems to have started a go around that you're a good fuck"

The chocolate eyes snapped over to the grim looking Ko.

"And from what we heard Kakashi was in the bar the other day and one of the Jounin at the table was saying the copy nin confirmed the rumor"

Iruka cursed under his breath then turned to look at his friends.

"I know about the rumor, Jaku Rida started it from the mission sex we had a few weeks ago, then I made the error of taking Kakashi home on Friday"

They both looked a little shocked from the confession for a moment then then Izumo's became both sad and angry at the same time – something Iruka believed only Izumo could pull off.

"Bastard! You don't deserve that baby"

He grinned at the older male and waved a hand; trying to dismiss their worries "It's no big deal, stuff like this cycles over eventually"

"Still" Kotetsu drew his attention again as the spiky hair man leaned forward and reached out a hand to turn his chair toward him "This is the Jounin community we're talking about Ruka, some of them might get it in their heads to stop by and 'visit' no matter what you say or do"

Iruka sighed and ran a hand over his bound hair "I realize that Tetsu, I've stepped up the security in my house and-"

"Not good enough" Kotetsu wasn't usually the most forceful of people but could be when he wanted to "Zumo and I have talked and we want you to come and stay with us until this dies down"

The brown eyes widened "I- oh, Ko that's not necessary really, I'll be fine"

"Ruka please" Izumo reached out a hand and turned the dark face toward him "We don't mean this in an insulting way, we just don't want you to get hurt."

He could tell Ko was nodding behind him "If your with us no one can try anything, you know we don't mind, we love having you around. Just for a week or so"

Iruka sighed and looked down at his hands "Seriously guys I'll be ok, Genma got kicked out of his place again so he'll be staying with me for a few days and-"

"I agree with them"

Genma's abrupt interruption had them all turning their attention as the Jounin leaned over the desk.

"Ru, I'll be there tonight sure but I could sent out soon here – I'm only on holiday today – and till Wednesday isn't long enough, I know you need to go home tonight but I think you should go to stay with them after – just for a while – as a precaution"

Kotetsu and Izumo both nodded and Iruka sighed – now that Genma was on their side there was no way he was going to win. He grinned wearily at the other two chuunin.

"I'll pack a bag tonight then?"

All three shinobi seemed to relax at that and Izumo smiled, reaching out to hug the small brunet again.

"Thank you Ruka."

His forced grin faded into a real smile as he hugged back, soaking in the comfortable feeling when Izumo gasped and pulled back, the dark eyes glittering with unsuppressed evil.

"Since you already knew, does that mean-?"

Iruka knew his impish grin was answer enough for the other chuunin, both of whom smirked and leant in at the same time.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Can we help?"

Iruka glanced around the room and was pleased to see it was empty save for them and Genma; slowly he nodded and grabbed Izumo's hand, pulling the older chuunin up and toward the door.

"I did pretty much everything already; all that's really left is the web traps on the doors"

"Web traps?" Izumo glanced sideways to look at him "But won't those catch every person who comes through the doors?"

"Normally yes, but if you set them to a specific DNA signature they won't activate for anyone but that person"

"DNA?"

Iruka reached into his pocket and pulled the strands of black hair he had stolen from Rida's brush the previous night, showing them off to his friend.

Izumo let out a giggle, leaning in to press their foreheads together "You have an evil mind, Ruka"

Iruka grinned and handed two of the hairs to Izumo who nodded and began drawing the needed signs on the left side of the door frame while Iruka started doing the same to the right.

They'd done this before, having come up with it when they were kids. It was the classic 'clear plastic over the door' done ninja style – meaning it was so much more affective.

They finished just in time to be sitting back down before the Genin team rush started. For some odd reason when they weren't scheduled in for training all the Jounin sensei's headed for the mission room for D ranks at the same time – with the exception of Kakashi of course, when he'd been in charge of team 7 he'd made the poor kids haul their butts out of bed at 6 and wait three hours until the rush had come and gone before he showed and began his unique but oddly character building torture.

Iruka smiled and greeted all of his old students as they came through – the Genin upgrading to chuunin and Jounin as the morning wore on. Other ninja stopped to lean over the desk and chat with the three chuunin before taking their assignments and heading out.

It went steady for an about an hour when a familiar chakra signature had Iruka snapping to attention.

Aoba.

He'd been debating on and off of whether or not he should involve the man but in the end he'd given into the evil little urge to do it – just because.

He could feel the Jounin getting closer and reached for his pant pocket, already planning how to approach the man when he froze.

"Shit"

Ko glanced over when he swore and leant in "What's wrong?"

"I forgot the scent tags"

"Scent tags?"

He nodded, gazing back at Kotetsu who took the odd subject in stride.

"What scents?"

"Cat, bacon and Genma's sock"

Ko closed his eyes for a moment, trying to control the laughter "Trying to sick every dog in Konoha on someone are we"

"Maybe"

The spiky haired man grinned and started digging through his bag "Well I don't have bacon or a cat – and I'm not touching Genma-san's socks again thank you very much – but"

The chuunin pulled out a bento box and popped it open. Carefully he peeled a small sliver of bright red meat from a roll "Salmon" grinning he placed the fish in the middle of some chakra paper then pushed it toward Iruka before closing up the box again and sliding in back into his bag.

"You seal that and I'll be right back"

Iruka nodded, grinning at the man as he stood and strode out of the room.

It was great to have friends who would help you with your evil revenge.

He had just finished the task of chakra sealing the potent fish smell of the salmon into the paper when Aoba walk through the doors. Iruka smiled to himself, things should go smoothly – so long as the man didn't do something honorable like apologize – the Jounin would receive the wake up call of his life.

He watched the man as he made a B line to the other side of the room where a cluster of his Jounin buddys were chatting in the corner. Iruka smirked, that was good, Aoba could end up talking for a long time, giving him and 'Tetsu more than enough time to set up.

Ko came back not a minute later, a cocky grin on his bandaged face as he slid back in to his chair and nonchalantly dropped his gatherings on the desk.

"Ok, I stole a can of liver paste from the break room fridge – don't worry, its Maki's; she was keeping some here for when her sister came in. Anyway, I also snipped some catnip from the flower box across the street"

"Gemina-san's flower box?"

"Ya her"

"You do remember she used to train with the Third and can totally kick your ass, right?"

Ko waved a hand in the air, dismissing the comment "Don't worry bout it, she won't notice its gone and if she does than you can just go over and help her bake cookies again or something – she loves you remember."

Iruka blushed and avoided answering by looking back over the things Ko had brought, realizing just a bit late.

_Salmon, liver, catnip…guess we're going back on that promise._

Quickly they set about sealing, only taking a minute each to finish. Ko handed the liver tag over with a grin.

"Go get him"

Iruka smiled back and gave the older man the older man a mock salute before grabbing the tags and slipping them up his sleeve as he headed toward the other side of the room where Aoba was still chatting with his friends.

The Jounin were getting increasingly louder though it was hard to tell if they were just being rowdy or if they were disagreeing on something, either way, Iruka had no qualms about interrupting them.

Rowdy Jounin were never fun to deal with.

"A-Aoba-san?"

The group quieted instantly at his unsure whisper, Aoba twirled around in shock only to soften his gaze when he saw who it was.

"Iruka-sensei, how are you?"

He found himself instinctively smiling back at the bigger man as his body tucked in on itself in a subconscious act of shyness – an attempt to become even smaller and lose the unwanted attention of strangers.

To his credit Aoba read the action instantly as the Jounin took a step back so he wasn't imposing into the chuunin space, shifting on his feet while he tried to see the smaller man's eyes.

"Uhh, how's your leg? Is it still bothering you?"

Resisting the urge to bit at his lip Iruka shook his head "No, I don't notice it anymore really. Ano-"

The shy little pause had the bigger man leaning in slightly, like he was trying to coax the sensei into continuing "Yes?"

"I- I need some height related help – that is if you're not busy?" he tilted his head to the side and looked up at the Jounin out of the corner of his eye – a gesture he knew many people translated as cute or nervous; exactly what he want the Jounin to think of him.

It had the desired result. Aoba relaxed instantly, falling back into a casual slouch while his smile lost its strain and his hands found their way into the Jounin's pant pockets "Of course sensei, where do you need me?"

Iruka looked up at the older man, making his eyes light up while inwardly his imp did the evil happy dance of Aoba's doom "The file room" he smiled only taking five steps in the right direction before glancing back to see if Aoba was coming or not.

He was pleased to see the bigger man was right behind him, not even bothering to say so-long to his friends in his haste to follow the sensei.

Iruka turned his head and smirked. He'd used this ploy before and the only people who had ever caught on were the mission desk workers – though that was probably because they actually _knew _what he was capable of.

The Jounin in the village, unfortunately – didn't. He was the cute school teacher to them, the shy little sensei (Anko had once called him the village sweetheart and been strung up to the ceiling by her ankle for her cheek)

He had wiped the scary little smile off of his face by the time they got to the file room and replaced it with the shy one Aoba would be expecting when he turned to the Jounin, pointing innocently at the very top shelve that was about five feet above the big man's head.

"I need to get at the files up there but we can't climb on the shelves cause they have a defence set on them that will set off if touched"

He watched Aoba's face in amusement as it filled with wonder. What did they think he and the Desk Workers did all day? Yes, they actually did stuff to help the village –shocking isn't it?

"So what do I do?" Aoba took a step closer to him while staying a good distance away from the scroll lined shelves

Iruka smiled. They were all so easy, predictable.

"I just need you to help lift me up so I can reach the files. Normally I wouldn't have to ask but Tetsu and Zumo aren't much taller than me so we can't help each other much" he wasn't lying – except for the fact they _could_ get at the top shelves; they just used a latter jutsu to do it.

One big hand waved in the air, dismissing the sort of apology "It's no problem Sensei" the Jounin smiled and without warning stooped and wrapped his arms around Iruka's legs before standing, hoisting the chuunin into the air.

"Gah!" Iruka barely had time to grab at the broad shoulders as he shot upward. It was a bit of a shock; normally people would put out their hands or have him climb on their shoulders to reach to top shelves. No one had ever just _picked him up_, it was annoying, Aoba had startled him, and he didn't like that.

It was disorientating, to the point he almost forgot to slip the tags onto the Jounin's body.

Almost.

It was good that Aoba was busy holding him up with one arm around his waist and the other around his legs, just above the knee, it made it harder for the older man to notice the small touches to his neck and hair, and even if he did they would be brushed aside as Iruka stabling himself.

Iruka, for his part, was very glad he and Kotetsu were so good at making tags, they could make them smaller than their pinky fingers now and still have them work and the small size was wonderful, making it that much easier to slip them under shirts and pant legs.

"Got it, you can put me down now" Iruka quickly nabbed the scroll (which he actually _did _need) and waved it in front of the Jounin's face.

Aoba blinked, confused for a moment before his eyes cleared "Ah, right" he gently put the chuunin down, holding on maybe a bit tighter and longer than was necessary as well as running one hand over the younger man's back in an unmistakable caress when he stepped back.

Iruka felt his eye twitch but quickly hid it. So Aoba was still interested, even after finding out about Rida's dirty play, he should have expected that. He was actually kind of glad Ko and Izumo had insisted he go stay with them now.

"Anything else you need help with Sensei?"

Iruka jolted back to reality at the sound of Aoba's voice and he shook his head "No, that's all, thank you Aoba-san"

Aobs smiled at him and nodded, heading back to the file room door he paused and waited, holding it open for the chuunin.

Iruka smiled back, flicking the last tag at the Jounin's leg as he passed, making sure to keep eye contact with Aoba as he did so the bigger man wouldn't see the movement. The tag hit the mark dead on and Iruka let himself smirk one he had walked past the other man, trying not to giggle at the thought that in a little while– after he released the jutsu – Aoba's legs would smell like salmon, his neck like liver and his hair like catnip.

He thanked the man once more before heading back to the desk, checking the clock on the wall as he did.

_Half past nine, mmm, ya, should be ok to do it now. I doubt Kakashi's the sleep in past 8 kind._

Sliding back into his chair Iruka grinned at Izumo and passed the other man the retrieved scroll before slipping his hands under the desk and flashing through some hand signs, fervently hoping that Kakashi had grabbed the right uniform to put on that morning and hadn't gone for civi clothing again.

He felt the jutsu release and smiled evilly at the mental image he hoped had just become a reality, after all, Kakashi needed the right outfit to go with his new hair. Not to mention Gai would be so _honored _when he saw.

He debated releasing Rida's keys as well but decided against it, he would wait until the man was there just in case the mold back fired (he figured if the stuff did malfunction someone should be there who could tell the medinins something – he was mad at the guy sure, but you couldn't torture dead people)

"Earth to Iruka"

Iruka pulled himself from his happy thoughts and looked over at the pile of files Izumo had just pushed in front of him and sighed, looking over at the other man to pout, earning himself an apologetic grin.

He sighed again and stuck his tongue out at his friend while reaching for the stack, intending to disappear into it for the next hour when a loud crash and the sound of swearing drew his attention just before the entire room burst into deafening laughter.

Jaku Rida lay sprawled on the floor, sticky stands covering his body, twisting his arms and legs into awkward positions and holding them there while he flopped around like a fish, trying in vain to free himself from the binds, curses coming from his mouth no longer heard amid the noise from the rest of the room.

Beside Iruka Kotetsu was howling with laughter, bent double over the desk as he pounded the wood surface while trying to breath, Izumo on the other hand seemed to have fallen out of his chair in his silent fit of mirth, tears streamed down his face as he clamped a hand over his own mouth.

Iruka grinned as he looked around the room, enjoying the reactions of others more to actually watching Rida struggle on the floor. Out of the corner of his eye he was aware of two Jounin – two of Rida's friend to be more precise – moving to help the man, both pulling out kunai to cut away the sticky strands binding the other Jounin.

They freed him fairly quickly but the damage was done, Rida would be the laughing stock of the day, Iruka grinned as he flashed through one last jutsu, pleased when Rida didn't vanish, set on fire or turn to stone, cause as funny as that would be he would be in serious trouble if he permanently hurt a superior.

Rida's eyes were blazing when he finally stood back up; his hands were shaking by his sides as he bunched them into fists as he glared around the still laughing room.

"Alright which one of you little shits did this"

Iruka eyes widened when he realized Rida was yelling the words as a group of Tokubetsu Jounin standing in the corner. Iruka knew the gang; they were very nice people with a mischievous sense of humor similar to Iruka's family. He'd heard something about a continuous prank war that'd been going on for years between the group of friends-

And Rida seemed to think they were the ones playing with him.

Oh this wasn't good.

"What are you talking about Rida?"

A pretty spiky haired Kounichi stepped forward, hands on her hips as she glared at the man. The other four special Jounin glanced at each other then back at their self-pointed spokesperson who was glaring at the livid Rida with quite a bit of venom herself.

Iruka searched for her name, pleased when he found it – Kista – and he was fairly certain she and Rida didn't get along for some reason – something about cheating on a best friend or something.

"You know very well what I'm talking about bitch, now which one of you pussys did it, cause you'll be fixing my place up before I beat you all the way to Sana."

The Tokubetsu's looks of shock slowly faded into rage as one of the males advanced.

"Watch what you say Rida, we have no clue what you're talking about but we didn't set that trap up and we know you don't have the sense of humor to join the war, we wouldn't pull something on you after we promised. So back off and curb the temper."

Iruka had realized during their mission together that Rida was a very proud man with a case of what the chuunin liked to call 'rankism' – a classification for discrimination of ranks in which the long-time chuunin were actually considered the lowest, as at least the Genin could have some sense and move all the way up – but he had thought it was just a small case at the time, gained through listening to a parent preach about power and the uselessness of the lower ranks.

But now he realized it was in no way small. The instant the Tokbetsu started standing up for themselves in front of the Jounin; Rida stiffened, body language clearly showing pure outrage at the _underlings_ with enough gull to talk back to him.

Iruka mentally kicked himself. He should have seen this coming! He should have realized that someone as proud as Rida would never, in a million years, go as far as to blame a _chuunin_ for his terrible streak of luck. He was stooping enough as it was in saying that a gang of Tokbetsu Jounin got past him.

What would he say if he knew it had really been a lone chuunin with no gear and locked chakra?

Iruka shuddered before reminding himself Rida deserved everything he had gotten and he in no way felt sorry for what he did, though he really hoped the group of friends didn't end up paying for him.

He didn't think he had to worry much though, the Tokbetsu gang seemed to be very popular and well liked as more Jounin and a few chuunin were jumping to their defence, drowning out Rida's insults and accusations.

The mission room was quickly descending into a familiar chaos as the excitement from Rida's entrance and the start of the fight had people everywhere yelling at each other, the augment between Rida and the Tokbetsu forgotten to most of the room as old spats and grudges rose to the surface again and were revisited.

Iruka, Kotetsu and Izumo all glanced at each other and sighed before turning back to their work, years of training to block out the noise kicking in as they ignored the raising madness around them and continued filing reports like usual.

Iruka sighed as he pulled the tall pile of paper closer to him, taking another moment to gaze out the window, not even blinking when a sandal flew past his face.

_I wonder how Kakashi's doing._

XoXoXoX

"No, not Gai"

The pitiful little whimper slipped from his lips before he could stop it, though Kakashi was having a hard time finding the emotions needed to care – he was already full to the brim with horror, self-pity and an enormous amount of hopelessness.

"KAKASHI? MY DEAR RIVAL, COME OUT! IT HAS BEEN A MONTH SINCE OUR LAST DISPLAY OF YOUTH! WE MUST RAISE THE MORAL OF THE VILLAGE!"

Kakashi whimpered again - he was friends with Gai and was actually very happy the man was back from the long mission safe and obviously unharmed - but the nice warm feeling of relief was kinda being crushed under his other – before mentioned – emotions.

He didn't want Gai to see him with _green _hair. The tijutsu user was a great guy but a bit of a blabber mouth none the less, also green hair was in no way youthful or hip.

Kakashi smacked himself over the head for that one.

"Kakashi" a soft paw touched his leg and he glanced down to see Pakkun "Kakashi what do you want us to do?"

He looked back over at the door where Gai was still banging and yelling and opened his mouth to give the orders for retreat tactics when-

Poof.

Smoke filled the room, momentarily rendering the dogs and their master blind. When it cleared they all began looking franticly around, trying to find the source and –more importantly – what had been done to the house.

It was Kakashi who noticed first; and for the second time that day – a shriek rented through the air.

The Jounin stared down at his own body in horror – no, horror was too small a word, an overwhelming wave of pure terror, panic and the slight nagging need to pass out from shock – that fit much better.

His plain, simple, comfy, normal _blue _Jounin uniform was gone, its replacement was, tight and clingy and long and itchy and, and – and _GREEN!_

Kakashi was wearing an exact replica of Gai's green spandex one piece.

The dogs had gone quiet and were now standing, frozen in place, just staring at him, a similar horror to his forming in their eyes – though Kakashi knew that every single one of the furry rumped bastards were holding in their laughter.

The banging on the front door had stopped though Kakashi knew that in no way meant Gai was gone – it meant he was circling around to the back so he could look through the porch doors. And if he did that then he would see-

The grey eye widened and Kakashi panicked. Faster than could be follow the Copy nin bolted for the bedroom and had the door locked and the curtains drawn before any of the dogs could move.

He could feel Gai's chakra moving up the steps of the desk and the panic grew, short of Chidoring the man he knew there was no way he could keep Gai out of the house – not if the Tijutsu user really wanted in and the way Kakashi saw it, the other man had a full month of 'challenge repression' built up.

It was a very scary thing to say the least.

First he had to get out of the uniform – obviously another gift from his unknown avenger – then he could focus on covering up the hair, he was sure he had a hat or a toque somewhere he could use.

This plan, however, came screeching to a halt when one last horrible fact presented itself.

He couldn't get the outfit off.

Desperately he tugged at the green fabric again, trying to stretch the neck so he could step out of it but the material didn't move. Deciding maybe it was a zipped up or something he twisted, fleeing to the bathroom when he couldn't find any sign of a way to free himself.

The mirror didn't help much either, there literally was no way to get the thing off and he _knew_ the first attempt should have worked. He had gone on missions with Gai and –as horrifying as it sounded said out loud – he had seen Gai undress before, the first thing he had tried was the correct way.

That meant – just like his new vibrant hair colour – it wasn't supposed to come off.

Ok, now he _really _needed to find this person and find out just what he had done to piss them off to this extent, cause this was just cruel.

"Kakashi!" Gai seemed to have stopped yelling but his deep voice still penetrated through the walls "Kakashi are you ok? I heard you scream! Do not worry! I will help!"

There was the unmistakable sound of the door being forced open, the slight crunching sound of the lock as it broke and the soft swooshing as the glass panel slid in its track. The house traps knew Gai and therefor would not attack the man.

Kakashi's gaze tore around the room, searching for inspiration as the sound of Gai's footsteps came closer like an impending doom.

Cover up, he needed to cover up. The sight of an old trench coat hanging in the closet had him sprinting across the room, racing against the clock as Gai came closer.

He got one hand to the sleeve of the coat but too late, the door burst off its hinges and sailed across the room to hit the wall with a loud bang while Gai practically flew into the room, still in 'Dynamic Entry' pose.

The green clad man continued on, air born, for about three and a half feet before crashing to the floor with a heavy 'thud'. Kakashi however took the given distraction to grab at a black toque buried at the back of the closet and pulled it over his green gravity defying hair quickly before Gai could recover and see.

He then grasped at the long, full body covering coat, hoping against everything that he could pull it on too when Gai twirled his legs in a windmill pattern and propelled himself off the floor, landing gracefully on both feet.

"Kakashi! I Am Here! What Is Wron-"

Gai turned on his heel and came face to face with his long-time rival and for the first time in the history of their friendship Kakashi watched as The Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha was rendered speechless.

The minutes ticked by and still neither of them moved, Kakashi frozen in place with one hand still on the sleeve of the old trench coat and the other on his head, still pulling the soft black hat over his bangs, which – because of their favored spiky habits – didn't want to sit under constricting material willingly.

Gai, one the other hand, was stuck in mid twirl, balanced on the ball of his heel with the other foot still slightly in the air, the broad face was frozen in a blank expression that made it very hard to tell what he was thinking while the bushy eye brows had come together to become one solid line, making them look more than ever like a big black caterpillar.

It was hard to tell just how long they stayed like that or how long they _would_ have stayed - had it not been for the dogs.

The that very moment the dogs – all 8 of the furry bastards – came bursting into the room at the same time, barking loud enough that the people 7 blocks away must have heard and ran straight into the two ninja standing there. Pakkun, Urushi, Shiba and Bisuke all smacked into Kakashi while Uhei, Akino, Guruko and Bull plowed over Gai, sending the Tijutsu user to the floor and all but pounding him into the carpet when Bull tripped and landed completely on top of the unfortunate man.

"Gai!" Kakashi momentarily panicked and quickly heaved the huge dog off of the other man, knowing full well just how heavy the black beast was. Gai gasped and turned over on his side, coughing hard for a minute before breathing deep and rolling on to his back, the dark eyes turning to look at him with that same unreadable expression.

Kakashi shifted uncomfortable on his feet, reaching up he tugged the black fabric again pulling the soft toque farther down so it covered his left eye, he realized he probably looked demented but still couldn't bring himself to care.

"Umm, welcome back Gai"

He mentally smacked himself 'welcome back'? Ya, he was standing there in the guy's cloths, who his massive dog had just smeared into the floor and the only thing he could say was _welcome back._

Gai however seemed to have interpreted the whole thing differently.

"MY MOST WONDERFUL RIVAL!"

Out of all the things he expected Gai to do – hug tackling him to the floor was not one of them. He could feel Gai's Manly Tears of Joy soaking through the stretchy green material while he struggled to breathe – Gai had elbowed him in the gut during his over-affectionate greeting.

"You did this to welcome me back, didn't you!" Gai pulled back and Kakashi found himself momentarily blinded by the man's extremely white teeth "You wished to convey how much you missed me!"

"I- uh…sure" he was feeling rather dazed, so much so that he didn't really think before answering, if he had he would have realized agreeing with the man was not the best thing to do.

Gai hopped up, leaving Kakashi to drag himself up off the floor using his dresser while he watched his eternal rival burst into 'Over-Joyed Manly Tears'. He'd never seen them before but really that was the only way to describe them, Kakashi momentarily wondered if it was possible to fill a tub with tears – and if it was – Gai was well on his way to succeeding.

"COME!" Gai grabbed at him and with his head spinning like it was Kakashi didn't duck fast enough "We Must Go Out And Fight! Show The Village The Youthful Bonds Of Our Friendship!"

Kakashi could only whimper as he was literally dragged from his house by the arm, 8 pairs of eyes following him on the way out.

"Should we help him?"

"I don't know, he didn't _ask_ for any help"

"True"

"So what should we do?"

"Raid the fridge!"

"Later Shiba, we do it now there be nothing for supper"

"Mmm, so what then?"

"We could follow him and laugh"

8 furry faces turned to each other and nodded both they took off, claws scrabbling against the floor as they raced after Gai and his miserable rival.

XoX

_Filing; done. Re-proofed reports; done._

Iruka went through his mental check list, crossing it off as he tossed everything back in his bag

_Mmm, I think that's everything, just need to stop at the store on the way home. Oh! I never found out what Ibiki likes! Just have to guess then_.

He took one last glance around to make sure he had everything before nodding and heading for the door, waving good night to Izumo who was packing up for both himself and his napping lover. The brunet smiled and waved back before grabbing the two bags and teleporting the both of them home.

Iruka yawned tiredly as he slipped through the doors, taking an a deep breath once he got out of the stuffy building and shaking his head in an attempt to wake up.

A glance at his watch told him it was just after five – one hour before Ibiki would be showing up, the rest of the family came whenever they pleased - he needed to get the shopping done quick and head home before the Jounin got there. For some reason he was starting to feel rather nervous, which was silly, he shouldn't feel nervous at someone coming over for dinner – really, Iruka could even remember the last time he had eaten alone, so getting flustered over an extra guest was downright ridiculous.

He could practically heard Anko telling him he was cute already.

Shaking the annoying thought away he broke into a sprint, heading for the little corner grocer he liked. He was about a block away when he heard his name hissed from an alley way just before a very large hand reached out and pulled him into the shadows.

A hand slapped over his mouth, stifling his yell, but there was nothing trapping his legs. He could already tell from the size and shape of the hands that his attacker was male – the comeback was obvious.

His assailant moaned and doubled over, the hands holding him loosening and giving him the advantage. Quickly he brought his hands up to the other man's neck, nimble fingers finding presser points with practiced ease.

Carefully he pushed down, not all the way so he knocked the guy out but hard enough for the man to understand the control had changed hands.

"Point taken Sensei, just cause your smaller doesn't means you can't kick my ass"

Iruka gasped and instantly let go, backing up so fast he ran himself into the alley wall so hard he temporally dazed himself.

"I-Ibiki?"

The big man groaned and straightened, one hand braced against the wall for support while the other cradled the now tender spot.

"Ya, it's me, nice move – underhand and dirty – but affective"

The deep voice was strained while still holding a sincere edge. Iruka felt himself shrink in horror.

"I. Am. So. Sorry, I- I didn't know it was you and just – oh damn, are you ok?"

Iruka knew he was babbling just a bit but couldn't bring himself to stop, he'd just kneed his date in the crotch and for no real reason either; how many people could boast that?

Ibiki seemed to be watching him with hopeless amusement and after he started apologizing for the fifth time the big man let go of the wall and crossed over to him, placing the large hand back over his mouth, but gently this time.

"Shh, its fine, that was my fault anyway, I of all people should know better than to grab a trained shinobi like that"

Iruka could feel himself starting to blush as he pushed the Jounin's hand away "Still, it was uncalled for, but - umm, why did you grab me? And why are you in an alley?"

If he didn't know better he would have said Ibiki was blushing, the big man pulled back slightly, clearing his throat nervously as he did "I well – well, you see-"

The older man trailed off as he took another step back, putting himself deeper into the shadows and farther from sight. Iruka's brow rose.

"Ibiki? Are you hiding?"

A soft groan was his answer and he watched in amazement as the Jounin brought a hand up to run it over his head in similar show of nerves to him scratching his scar.

"I forgot something, something very important"

Iruka cocked his head to the side "Like what?"

"Like why I don't go out and why I haven't gone anywhere in anything but my uniform in over fifteen years"

Ok, he was getting really confused "I'm sorry Ibiki but I have no clue what you're talking abou – holy damn"

Ibiki stepped out from the shadows and into a small patch of light the chuunin could see him. Iruka's jaw dropped.

Iruka knew the Jounin was thought of to be attractive to certain parts of the village, honestly, he was a ninja and therefor had a body most would sell their soul for, his size was defiantly an eye turner and since when did _anyone_ in the shinobi community care about scars? Ibiki's especially were nothing to look down at.

But he highly doubted anyone was prepared for what the man looked like out of uniform.

Iruka of all people knew just how much a simple change of clothes could change someone's appearance, but _damn_.

The interrogator was decked out in a simple but well cut and _tight_ white tee under a light blue dress shirt that was open in the front, showing off the white fabric that stretched across his chest, the long sleeves were also rolled up to the man's mid forearm, showing scars and muscles. The standard issue uniform pans had been replaced with a pair of light; well washed jeans that hugged the barrel thighs better even than the normal cotton ones. The Konoha bandanna switched out for a black skull cap and a glance all the way down revealed the Jounin was wear _sneakers_ instead of his boots.

The Jounin wasn't drop dead gorgeous or anything it was just – well, kind of a slap to the face, seeing him like that, a good slap, but still shocking; and if that was _his_ reaction then – ah, that's why he was hiding.

"You look great Ibiki"

He made sure to put as much emotion behind it as he could, so the Jounin would know he was being sincere. Ibiki simply grumbled and hunched his shoulders, not meeting the sensei's gaze but glaring at the ground with venom.

Iruka sighed "Aw, come on, what happened? It can't be _that_ bad can it? I mean, please don't take this the wrong way but there's no way anyone would have like, wolf-whistled at you or the like, is there?"

The big head shook "No, no one would do that, I still scare them, even like this"

"So?-"

The older man turned his gaze to the wall and muttered something too low to be heard causing Iruka to take a step closer "Sorry, what?"

"Tsume walked into a pole"

Iruka's mind went blank for a moment as he processed just what the Jounin had said.

"I- beg pardon?"

The scarred head fell forward, as if defeated.

"I figured I should wear something other than my uniform to your place and didn't think you'd mind if I went casual. Then I decided to head out and hand in some reports at HQ then go walk in the park till 6, but as soon as I left the house –stuff – started to happen. I went to drop off the reports at T&I first and not two steps past the door the idiots that call themselves my _staff_ started falling down stairs or walking into door frames or dropping equipment on their feet. It got worse once I left and went to the park. Someone even walked into the pond cause they weren't watching. I'd had enough of being stared at so I headed for your place, hoping you'd be there and wouldn't mind me coming this early but a couple blocks down I passed Tsume with a few members of her clan and the woman _walked _into a _pole_ because she was staring at me."*

Iruka winced, knowing full well why that would bother Ibiki. The last person that had distracted the wild Inuzuka to that point had been a visiting prince from Mist who had resembled someone from a cheesy romance novel where the authors went for the pure mental image – not realistic facts.

So the fact the Jounin had distracted Tsume enough to make her clumsy was probably horribly embarrassing to Ibiki – considering his standing in the village.

Iruka sighed and took a step closer to the interrogator, reaching out a hand he took hold of the big wrist and began pulling him toward the street "Come on, you can't hide here"

"But-"

"No buts" Iruka glared over his shoulder at the older man using his best 'no back talk' look – effectively shutting the Jounin up, for the time being at least "I have to pick a few things up for supper then you can come back to the apartment with me"

With that Iruka proceeded to drag the much larger male out of the alley, down the street and into the little grocer.

"Ruka…"

Iruka chuckled inwardly when the older man growled out the nick name; glancing back he tossed an innocent little grin at the other man "Yes Biki?"

Ibiki's eyes widened at the shortened form of his name before he caught himself and quickly changed it to a glare, though the happy amusement never left the dark eyes "What are you doing"

Iruka snorted "Is it not obvious? I'm making you help me with shopping" another grin – cheeky this time – was directed at the Jounin who seemed to have gone into shock from the honest statement. Though in hind sight Iruka realized there probably weren't many people in the village crazy enough to basically tell the guy to shut up and help.

Hell, even Anko was saner then that.

Iruka hummed thoughtfully then shrugged it off before pulling the Jounin off to the side of an aisle.

"Ok, what's your favorite food?"

Ibiki gave him a strange look "I- what?"

"Food, what's your favorite food? I would have asked Anko but she didn't come in today so I couldn't drag her into a closet to question her and since you're here –what do you like?"

"Ah" the confused look left the dark eyes and Ibiki shrugged "I like pretty much everything"

Iruka gave him a dead panned look "Gai says the same thing –actually he says 'It Is Impossible To Hate Food' – but it still doesn't help much. Please, just…two things you like"

Ibiki's lips twitched upward and he gave a small cough that sound very much like a laugh "Fine, any kind of meat and enokitake – but any kind of mushroom is good too"

Iruka nodded and pulled him off again grabbing the needed ingredients from shelves as they passed, crossing off his mental list as they went; a jar of hot sauce for Gai being the last thing before he turned and lead Ibiki – who he'd let go of by this point though the Jounin seemed more than happy to just follow along behind him – to the only open till.

Both men ignored the chipper 17 year old behind the register as she blatantly flirted with the both of them - at the same time. Iruka rolled his eyes at the stoic Ibiki who turned his head to the side in an obvious refusal to laugh.

Iruka just grinned to himself, deciding that he had the man outside, in normal cloths and talking, he could settle for being happy with that – for the moment.

They exited the little store, each holding one bag while Iruka cracked up over Ibiki's sulky little comment about how the chuunin was single handily destroying his reputation. He gave the other man a playful shove and grinned again, leading the way down the street toward his house.

It was actually really fun – least Iruka thought so – Ibiki had a very good sense of humor if you could get him talking and the sensei was mildly surprised at just how much the Jounin was talking.

Surprised; but very happy.

The only down side was Ibiki seemed to be a bit nervous, especially when Iruka moved closer to him or brushed their arms together, it was like – like the bigger man didn't know how to respond to the friendly touches that should have been normal.

A nagging suspicion was growing in Iruka's mind but he brushed it aside, he would worry about it later.

He was in the middle of telling the Jounin the story of the disaster that was the first time he and Genma had worked together in the Labyrinth, making the older man fight laughter once again as until they rounded the corner; Iruka stopping mid-sentence when he caught sight of Aoba walking passed on the other side of the street.

Reacting instinctively he grabbed Ibiki's wrist for the second time and pulled the older man to the mouth of an alley, putting a finger up to the thin lips when the Jounin started to speak.

A glance around the corner showed that the spiky haired Jounin had stopped to look over the menu of a café, giving Iruka the perfect opportunity to make his move and get to watch the chaos that would follow.

Oh happy days.

Just one thing he had to make sure of.

"Ibiki, you cannot tell anyone I am responsible for this understand?"

The Jounin's brows rose and he stared at the chuunin for a moment before his gaze softened and he nodded. Iruka smiled gratefully.

"Great, now take this"

He handed his bag to the older man before glancing round the corner again; making sure that Aoba was still there before flashing through the hand seals, setting off the scent tags.

He heard Ibiki lean closer so he could see as well and grinned, the Jounin should enjoy this, it would be right up his alley of humor.

Nothing happened for a while, Aoba just went on as normal, through now he seemed to be checking out some girls while pretending to window shop, and then-

It started slow, the tabby from across the street came out to rub and lick at the Jounin's pant leg, then two more dropped from the apartment above and latched on to his knee and shoulder.

They opened the flood gates for every cat in the area.

They came from everywhere, streaming from alleyways and shop doors, out of house windows and trash cans. They were scruffy, dirty street cats; they were the fat and pampered pussys of the high to do – the ones the Genin spent their first few mouths chasing through the village. The felines of all shapes and sizes, breeding and colour came pouring from every corner-

To attach themselves to Aoba lovingly.

his legs, his torso and arms, his neck and hair – cats jumped at him and sunk their claws in deep, mewing and scratching at each other as they all tried to claim a better spot on the delicious smelling Jounin.

Aoba yelled as he trashed around, trying to dislodge his furry attackers. Cats were flying everywhere as Aoba grabbed them and flung them away but they just got right back up and jumped at him again, it was a continuous circle until –

"THERE IT-is?"

The Genin team that had just rounded the corner from the other side paused and took in the scene before glancing at each other and shrugging, letting out loud battle crys as they sprinted toward the melee of fur and Jounin, fighting their way through in search of the 'lost' cat that they had no doubt been sent to catch.

Iruka watched wide eyed as the Genin added to the mayhem, one of them even managing a solid hit to Aoba's jaw as she flailed about, one of the boys tripped the poor Jounin when he jumped for their cat which sent Aoba tumbling into their team mate – the one holding the rope.

Two minutes of waving arms and attacking cats later saw the spiky haired man completely pinned and trapped; his sunglasses gone, head band askew and uniform full of tares, now completely defenceless as the cats went back to their task of claiming him.

The Genin ignored him for the most part, they'd learnt by now that Jounin were strange creatures, instead they just picked up the fluffy white cat that was their mission and matched off with it, the Persian meowing pitifully as it tried to twist out of their hold and get back to the wonderful Jounin, now helpless on the ground.

Iuka grinned and looked back at Ibiki, pleased to see the large form was shaking with repressed laughter.

"Holy damn, what did Aoba _do?_" Ibiki sucked in a breath so he could whisper the question but Iruka just tilted his head to the side.

"Not important"

"Come on"

Iruka sighed "Fine, he had a hand in the rumors about me that are going around and still had the gull to flirt with me after, its pay back, he helped with rumors about me, I start a gossip vine about him"

Ibiki stayed silent for a while then nodded "I understand"

Iruka smiled and reached out to take his bag back "Thanks, should we go now?"

Ibiki nodded again and moved to follow when Iruka slipped out of the alley and led the way down the street to his apartment.

"So, is anyone else coming tonight?" Ibiki voiced the question while Iruka un-did the seals on his door and knocked it open.

"Uh, ya. Genma's staying here right now – long story – and Anko's bringing Gai – he got back yesterday" dumping the bags on the kitchen counter Iruka turned to look at the other man, a slightly nervous look in his eyes "Is- is that ok?"

Ibiki shrugged "I have no problems with any of them, so long Gai doesn't challenge me"

Iruka laughed "Don't worry, he tones it down when he's not in public, the whole Beautiful Green Beast thing is similar to, say – Kakashi's mask? Or my shy sensei act"

Ibiki's brows rose as he moved so he was standing across from the chuunin now moving around the kitchen like he was dancing "It's a defence"

"Sorta, though I think Gai enjoys being hyper as well" Iruka grinned at Ibiki as he grabbed the control for his stereo and hit 'on' enjoying the look on Ibiki's face when the song started to play.*

"Anko likes playing with my settings" was the only excuse he could offer. Ibiki stared for a minute then shrugged – he worked with Anko after all, he knew what she was like.

Iruka grinned impishly and started dancing to the tune, watching as Ibiki's amused smile faded into something hotter, the black eyes never leaving the chuunin's dancing form until Iruka stepped closer and grabbed the big hands, still grinning as he rose up on his toes until he could reach the Jounin's mouth and plant a light kiss on the thin lips.

Ibiki didn't resist, but tried to deepen the kiss, making an odd sound in protest when Iurka slipped from the arms that were trying to pull him closer.

Iruka just grinned and tugged at the big hands "Help me?"

Ibiki seemed a little confused until he realized Iruka was asking him to help cook, instantly the bigger man shook his head tried to back away "Iruka, trust me, I can't cook – at all – I'll just get in the way and-"

"Nonsense" Iruka cut him off quickly, and tugged at the arm again, until the Jounin relented and let him pull him into the kitchen.

So started one of the strangest but most memorable dates Iruka would ever go on.

**XoX**

***song, please listen to Sexy Silk by Jessie J**

***just cause you **_**need**_** to know, this has happened, my Mom had a friend who was a drop dead gorgeous blond who actually was so distracting this guy walking to a pole cause he was staring. Always wanted to put it somewhere and finally, I did!**

**Ok, I have a small request, if you have been reading this and it has made you smile, even just a tiny little bit, please tell me. It doesn't have to be much, just one line would be fine, your favorite chapter, favorite part or the line that you liked – anything (except insults, insult me and I'll have to hurt you ^_^) of course you don't have to, you can ignore me, that's fine too, but your reviews really do make my day.**

**Anyway, ya…later!**


	8. right to stupidity

**This chapter – and the next – are very random in my mind. just thought you should know.  
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**I really shouldn't be posting this - I was planing on trying to finish the whole story before posting more chapters but I felt like I should just put this one out there.  
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**oh, and thank you so much to everyone who left reviews! they really made my day, other than that - if your looking for another great story to read go check out IrukaLover's Perplexed! its awesome like a chocolate dip sundae and he needs the love! and I need some sugar...**

XoX

_All people have the right to stupidity;  
>some just abuse the privilege.<em>

XoX

Iruka doubled over with laughter while the dough cover Ibiki glared daggers at him.

"I- I'm sorry – it j- just-"the rest of the words were lost in a new fit of giggles while Ibiki sighed and ginned up at the ceiling, wiping the sticky wet dough from his forehead.

"Somehow I think I did that very wrong"

This only made Iruka laugh harder, struggling to breathe while he answered "Y-yes, well – for s- starters –y- you didn't – _catch_ it"

Ibiki growl playfully at the chuunin as the younger man handed him a wet cloth, still chuckling as he helped wipe off the sticky dough.

"Really, it's not that hard Ibiki"

"Says you"

"Aw come on" Iruka moved back to the counter where the mounds of dough he'd made that morning waited "It's like tossing shurkin just with the plan of catching in once it comes down"

Ibiki blinked then shook his head "If you insist"

"It is!" Iruka huffed, picked up some more dough and started twirling it skillfully on the tips of his fingers. The pale dough slowly began to spread, fanning out farther until he was tossing the whole thing in the air catching it and sending it up again till it reached the right size and could be dropped back on to the counter.

"See? Easy"

Ibiki snorted and shook his head again "No, I'm not falling for that again, you'd just end up wasting dough anyway"

Iruka laughed, grabbing a cutting broad and a knife he handed them to the Jounin "Fair enough, how about you start cutting up topping while I finish this?"

Ibiki nodded as he walked around to the fridge and began pulling out the things Iruka told him to, meat, mushrooms, peppers, broccoli, mangos and onion.

"You put all this on pizza?"

Iruka smiled but didn't look away from the dough he was tossing.

"Not on one pizza no, Anko hates spicy stuff but has a sweet tooth so ranch, chicken, bacon with mangos and onion are hers" the tossed dough was placed down on the counter while a new mound was picked up "Genma loves pumpkin but every attempt to put it on a pizza have been disastrous, so his usually is whatever sauce I have around with broccoli, ground beef and peppers. Gai on the other hand loves spicy stuff but has stopped making it at home for Anko's sake, but since everyone gets their own thing here I make his with hot sauce, pepper jack cheese, spicy sausage and pepperoni, banana peppers and of course jalapenos"

Iruka grinned at the staring Jounin "It's so damn hot it makes him cry - he loves it"

"And still that man passes his physic evaluation every year"

Iruka laughed "Gai's not unstable Biki, he's just weird. And those tests are useless anyway"

The scarred jounin frowned "Why do you say that?"

"Besides the fact they didn't pick up on Orochimaru, Mizuki and a whole ton of others that went off the deep end without anyone noticing till too late?" Iruka shook his head "Never mind that, nothing could have changed them. anyway, the tests, their supposed to pick up on behaviour changes, oddity's and personality disorders right?" the Jounin nodded "Well, last year they told Genma he had an oral fixation; as if anyone who knows him couldn't tell you that! Also, I've been a chuunin – and taking the tests – for over 12 years now and they still haven't picked up on my little night and day spilt personality. Plus, every year they tell me I may be bipolar – I'm not, trust me I've checked, Tsunade tested me herself once to see – I don't have it, I'm just plain weird, that's all, yet _every year _they tell me I should get myself checked, it's downright irritating. It might just be me or they might not check the chuunin as thrallily as the famous Jounin and clan members but personally I find my examiners to be idiots"

Ibiki's eyes narrowed and hummed thoughtfully as he refocused on the pepperoni he was slicing "I'll have to look into that, why has no one ever said anything about it before?"

"No one's ever asked" Iruka stuck his tongue out when the Jounin gave his an exasperated look "I'm kidding, the truth is there are issues in this village that can only be seen from below and so, they will never be fixed because, who listens to us? It's just how things are. You can't fix everything that's wrong so the things that aren't that bad, well, we can live with them, they give us something to complain about anyway"

The older man was quiet as he watched Iruka slip the crusts into the oven then move to the fridge.

"Beer, wine, or sake?"

Ibiki chuckled as he pulled himself from his musing "You know I think you're the first person in years to offer me wine, normally I'm just handed a bottle of beer or a glass of whiskey, under the assumption that's all I like"

"So wine then"

"Please"

Iruka grinned as he pulled the bottle of white he'd bought so Anko wouldn't bug him out of the fridge and poured a generous helping for the older man. Ibiki nodded in thanks as he took the glass, humming happily around the first sip.

"Hum, its good. Now it I may ask. What was that earlier about rumors and payback?"

Iruka leaned over the counter, pasting on his best 'who, me?' face as he chuckled "Payback? Ibiki, whatever are you talking about?"

XoX

Kakashi panted hard as he pushed off another tree hard. Four hours and he was still running – with no success.

After the whole fiasco with Gai at the house the other Jounin had literally dragged his rival off to their new competition - going right through the middle of town, proclaiming speeches about their flowers of friendship and such while he did so the whole village would know two things.

-Gai was back.

-Kakashi had finally gone off the deep end, and had the suite to prove it.

He could smell the therapists couch already.

Gai had challenged him for five hours straight. Everything from races and push ups to tree climbing, skip rope, extreme ninja hop scotch (which is terrifying by the way) chalk art and sand castle making.

He'd done all of it and more, with only a minimal amount of protests and escape attempts and by early afternoon Kakashi had believed it was finally over and he would be able to crawl home to pretend the day never happened. Maybe shave himself bald and try to cut the spandex off – or set it on fire; that might work too.

But the classic standby off poofing away hadn't worked. Normally – when he'd reached his limit of Gai-ness for the day and had to leave before the others man's weirdness went from funny and strangely lovable to just downright scary – he would just teleport away and hide, reading his book and relax while Gai would spend the rest of the day searching high and low for him, but this time-

Gai had found him.

He wasn't sure how he had, really, how many people searched the Monument Caves for someone?

And it didn't matter how many time's Kakashi got away, Gai was always right behind. It was impossible and extremely annoying just how fast the other man was able to find him.

The chase had been on three hours straight and while Kakashi was starting to flag he could tell so was Gai. If anyone else had been in his position they most likely would have started thinking about a plan along the line of out lasting Gai but Kakashi knew that was futile, Gai would never stop, not for something like this. He'd seen the man continue to run after having his right leg split open – there was no way he'd stop from simply being tired.

This was another challenge, he just knew it. Gai must have discovered a way to track him and was now challenging him to lose him.

Well Kakashi could do that.

_Diversionary tactics, smoke bombs, wire traps and som-_

"AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Kakashi's plots of escape came smashing to a halt, along with his entire body when something big, black and fuzzy went sailing into his path, knocking into him with the force of furry wrecking ball, sending him earthward and pounding him into the ground hard.

Kakashi curled onto his side, coughing violently as he fought to draw in air. Reaching out a hand he quickly found the furry mass that had hit him and gently grabbed a handful of the soft black fur.

"Bull…" the big dog whimpered and edged closer until the large wet nose was nudging against the Jounin's face. Kakashi smiled and pet the big dog's head as he coughed again "I'm fine, but what were you -?"

"Kakashi!"

Pakkun and the rest of the pack came gliding out of the trees to form a circle around their master while the pug hurried forward and began sniffing the Jounin's body from head to toe.

"Damn! Are you ok? Is anything broken? Pain when you breathe? Look at me, how many ears am I holding up?"

Kakashi glared at the franticly yammering dog as he pushed at pug away and used Bull's solid form to help himself sit up "None mutt, you can't lift your ears, I'm fine, just winded"

Pakkun sighed, not even rising to Kakashi jib in his relief "Good, we thought Bull had crushed you"

"Just why did you send him after me in the first place?" Kakashi glanced around at the sheepish looking pack and the still nuzzling Bull who was now wagging his tail so hard it was making clouds of dust where it hit the ground.

"Well..."

"You see…"

"We were watching the past few hours and-

"Thought you could use some help so-"

"Pakkun told Bull to take out Gai so you could get away but-"

"We forgot your both wearing the same thing so when Shiba-"

"Oui! I never said nothing! It was Guruko!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"I thought it was Uhei"

"Shut up Bisuke!"

Kakashi and Pakkun watched, annoyed, as the rest of the pack descended into the argument – well, all of them except Bull, who by this point seemed to have decided Kakashi needed a bath and had started licking the Jounin with long strokes of his big tongue.

Kakashi , for his part, managed to ignore the wet slime now covering the side of his face and turned to Pakkun. "Explain, now"

The pug sighed "We were trying to help, honest, and it would have worked, but because of the suite we thought it was Gai – but it was you"

"So you were planning on pounding Gai into the ground?"

"Is that a problem?"

Normally; yes. But Kakashi was finding it hard to think so at the moment, he was too tried so instead of answering his just gave the dog a classic Sasuke "hun" while he absent mindedly pet Bull, still watching the utter chaos that was the rest of the pack.

"THERE HE IS!"

All 8 dogs and their master froze at the sound of Bisuke's yell as, sure enough, there was a bright green and orange blur moving through the trees – heading straight toward them at top speed.

Bull's orders it seemed, were obsolete and –through the wave of panic – Kakashi wondered just what the pack had told the loving and normally gentle dog to make him move like that. It barely took two seconds for the black mass to jump up and sprint for the trees – already going the same speed as Gai.

There was a whistling sound followed by a crash, a shriek, and a thud as something hit the forest floor with wince worthy impact.

"Gai!" flinching slightly at the pain shooting through his already bruising body Kakashi heaved himself up and run toward the place where the loud, green loving man had been squashed by his huge black dog for the second time that day.

The sound of moans were both worrying and relieving, down side; Gai was in pain – though that wasn't surprising, Bull was in no way light – while the up side was; the other man was still alive; so Bull hadn't crushed his ribs or split his spine – both very good things.

A small clearing came into view as Kakashi rounded a tree, showing the still moaning Gai curled up on the grass in a position similar to the one Kakashi had been in a moment ago while a very pleased Bull stood next to him, tail wagging and tongue lolling out as he bound happily toward the masked Jounin.

Kakashi gave the big dog a pat on the head – he had followed and completed his orders after all – before hurrying over to his friend's side.

"Gai? You ok? You only have to nod"

The bowl cut swayed slightly and Kakashi sighed, he was fine, that was good - and that was because Gai was his friend and _not_ because Anko would most likely castrate him if anything happened to her boyfriend.

Ok fine, it partly was about that.

The other man was now struggling to sit up and Kakashi instantly reached out a hand to help him, though once Gai was upright and breathing normal again the man flashed his rival a blindingly white smile and raised a hand to giving him a thumbs up (the entire thing was much slower and less buoyant then it usually would have been but Kakashi figured it was the thought that counted)

"Very clever my rival" Kakashi picked up on the lack of upper case but did say anything, his head hurt and he didn't want Gai to be loud "Using your dogs as a distraction"

Kakashi blinked, was that what Gai thought had happened? Well, if that made him happy-

"But there really was no need"

The grey eye blinked again, in confusion this time; was Gai really saying what he thought-?

"I was about to tell you I must go, Anko and I are going out for dinner to celebrate my safe return"

Gai stood, leaving his shocked rival on the ground, trying to sort out the mixed emotions ranging from happy relief he could now go home to annoyance that he'd just spent four hours running from the man without ever being able to lose him.

That thought had him snapping out of his daze and reaching out to grab the other man before he could take off.

"Not so fast, how were you finding me?"

Gai gave him a long look then pulled something from his pocket "I guess I have no right to keep it"

Slowly the Tijutsu user handed over a smooth, plain grey disk, to the other man who snatched for it quickly, the dark eye widening when it took in the light green numbers flashing across the surface.

"A tracker?" Kakashi glared at his friend "You put a tracker on me? When? How? That's cheating!"

Gai held out his hands and waited for Kakashi to calm down "I didn't; surely the events from this morning are enough to tell you that"

"What?" Kakashi felt the walls of his world crack a little. Gai knew who the avenger was? And he'd _helped_ them? "Why?" it was the only thing he could think to say.

Gai seemed to understand though as he smiled sadly at his friend "I respect you Kakashi and I think of you as my best friend, you know this. But you are rather selfish sometimes and you can hurt others with your attitude– unwittingly I know" Gai stopped him when he tried to protest "But recently you did something without thinking and hurt someone because of it, they asked my help and I agreed, knowing that you would never see unless shown"

A small spike of guilt bubbled in his belly but as quickly pushed aside; he didn't like guilt, not when he couldn't do anything about it. He replaced it with anger, turning to the man as he rose to full height.

"You know then, who did this"

"Yes"

"Who"

"I can't tell you"

Kakashi froze "Why the hell not? Gai, this is jutsued on! Tell me who and-"

"No"

Gai crossed his arms over his chest and stared back at his friend stubbornly. Kakashi reached a hand up to run it through his hair in annoyance only to remember the green hair and that he was wearing a black toque because of it.

"Gai, you said I hurt them right? Well then let me-"

"What good is an apology if it given for selfish reasons? You don't really care that you hurt them, you just want to make yourself feel better, and that is entirely beside the point. You have to figure this out yourself, besides, even if I told you just who is was I highly doubt you would apologize in the right way. Good night"

Kakashi stared after his friend as the man walked from the clearing and jumped into the trees, a little slower than normal but still too fast for Kakashi's shell shocked mind to follow.

He sat there for who knows how long, struggling through the swamp that had become his thoughts and emotions until he gave up and started off for home, hoping very much he could just pass out and wake up the next day and find out it had all been some stress induced dream.

Though some part of him knew there would be no such luck.

XoX

Iruka laughed and applauded loudly as Ibiki finished the last line of his song with a warbling note. It was just after six now and the two glasses of wine had done wonders for getting the other man to relax, Iruka wasn't quite sure exactly when the singing competition had started but he was more than happy to let Ibiki win, the deep bass was strangely calming.

"You can sing?"

Both man whipped around to see a dazed looking Anko frozen in place with one leg and her head through the window with the rest of her still hanging out. Her jaw was slack as she stared at her boss who actually seemed to be _blushing_ – much to Iruka's delight.

"I – sometimes, yes"

The purple hair waved back and forth as Anko shook her head as if trying to clear it. Letting go of the window frame she let herself fall face first into the little living room, rolling to the side just before she hit the ground so she twisted and popped up onto her feet gracefully.

"You can sing…WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU COULD SING!"

"It is important I did?"

Ibiki actually backed up a step as Anko stalked toward him until she was directly in front of him, her dark eyes glaring up at him.

"Yes it's important! All the time's I could have dragged you to karaoke night, missed! Because you DIDN'T TELL ME!"

Ibiki glanced over at Iruka who was trying to hold in his laughter so hard his entire body was shaking with repressed mirth, the big man's look of complete bewilderment didn't help the chuunin's situation much as it sent the sensei it a fit of hysteric laughter, leaving Ibiki to the crazed woman while she ignored her little brother as he gasped for air.

"Two years. TWO YEARS! I've been trying to host a karaoke night for T&I and _who_ shows up every week? WELL NO ONE WHO CAN SING I CAN TELL YOU THAT! JUST THE MORONS FROM FILING AND EQUIPMENT CLEANING WHO JUST COME TO MOOCH OFF MY SAKE STASH!"

"You're still bitching about that Anko? Just give it up, karaoke's stupid anyway"

The attention of the room was turned when Genma walked through the door, a jaunty smile on his face as he flipped his seabon to the other side of his mouth, staring coolly back at Anko who was as glaring at him like she wanted him to catch fire.

"Stupid? STUPID? What do you know, you can't sing"

"Neither can you"

Anko growled while Genma's grin turned smug and he reached out for a piece of sliced mango on the kitchen counter, only to have Iruka growl at him and throw the kitchen knife he was using at the blonds hand.

"Hey!" Genma snatched his hand back just in time and stared – brow raised - at the still quivering knife now imbedded halfway into the counter.

"Don't touch the mango Gen or I'll sick Tukoi on you" Iruka glared at his big brother who nodded dumbly, not taking his eyes off of the knife.

"Tukoi?" Ibiki leaned closer to Anko to whisper the question "Who's Tukoi?" the woman giggled.

"One of Ruka's summons, he's a tad bubbly and likes attacking Genma's bandanna"

"Summons? What do you summon?" Ibiki turned his questioning gaze to the chuunin who ginned at him.

"Lots of things, Anko says I have a knack for picking up the strays of the summoning world."

"Such as?"

"Such as bats, a really old snake with a temper, squirrels and a toucan that went off the deep end a few years ago" Genma answered for the chuunin while he watched the younger man move around the kitchen, waiting for the perfect moment when Iruka had his back turned to flitch some meat from the cutting board.

"Toucans? You can summon those?"

"Yup" Genma removed the seabon from his mouth and moved to closer to the counter so it was at a perfect stabbing distance to the food "Ruka found him when he was 20, that bird sure proves that there are some things that should not have the ability to talk"

"Like you?"

Anko smiled sweetly at the blond who turned to glare at her around Ibiki's huge form.

"Ah shut it, like you couldn't use a good gag once in a while An – what are you wearing?"

Ibiki and Iruka instantly turned to see what Genma was talking about and upon doing so both wondered just how their missed it before.

Anko stood, smiling happily, decked out in tight back skinny jeans, black fingerless gloves and a lime green shirt that stated 'CUTEI' in sparkly orange letters, it hugged her body and clashed with her dark purple hair, which she had let down and was now falling in soft curls over her shoulders.

"Wh- what is that?"

Genma was staring at the vibrant shirt with something akin to fear in his eye. Iruka snorted and threw an empty cheese bag at the blonde's head.

"Gai made it for her Gen, what he hasn't given you yours?"

The hazel eyes widened "Mine?"

Iruka grinned at him before turning to Ibiki who was watching the scene in amusement "Gai feels handmade gifts are best. Mine says' Youthful' – I think, the glitter kinda smeared so now it's just this blindly bright orange streak across the front"

Ibiki chuckled while Genma tore his eyes away from Anko's shirt to gaze around the small apartment "Speaking of that, where is Gai anyway? Shouldn't he be with you?"

Anko shrugged "He'll be here soon, I told him to stop tracking Kakashi round 5:30 so that he could go and clean up before coming over"

Ibiki's brows shot up at that comment "Tracking Kakashi? Just what did _he _do?"

Iruka scowled as he slid the pizzas in the oven "Nothing much, he just suffers from a severe case of idiotitous and is horrendously oblivious"

Genma was sending Ibiki a clear 'don't ask' look while Anko's eyes narrowed and her lips curled into a snarl. Iruka shook his head and shot the bigger man an apologetic look while he tried to clear the darkening atmosphere.

He was saved from doing so though when a loud crash and the sound of snapping wood pulled the room's attention to the door, which burst open off its hinges, clearing the way for the black haired man that came sailing through the now empty frame.

"GAI! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT DYNAMIC ENTRYING INTO MY HOUSE?"

Gai froze, one arm and leg up and mouth open, about to yell the words for his favorite move; at Iruka's voice however he snapped it shut and sealed his lips while lowering all his limbs back to the ground. He grinned and scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Sorry Iruka, I'll fix that"

Anko rolled her eyes as she moved to help her boyfriend fix the chuunin's door, which was now hanging limply off one hinge.

It was mildly interesting to see them standing side by side as Gai appeared to be wearing a completely –normal - set of cloths, consisting of blue jeans and a black turtle neck. All and all it was rather odd to see the usually bright man looking calm while his lover was the one clashing colours.

Iruka huffed, glaring at the two till he was sure the door could be fixed before turning back to the oven and the cooking pizzas while Genma took advantage of the chuunin's distraction to stab at the sliced pepperoni on the counter, succeeding in grabbing some and transferring it to his mouth with blinding speed.

"I saw that Genma"

The blond froze mid chew as he stared at the younger man who still hadn't turned around.

"ho'd y'u-?"

"12 years as a sensei Genma, you figure it out. Do that again and I will summon Tukoi"

Genma swallowed and raised his hand in defence "No need to be drastic Ru"

Ibiki chuckled, relaxing into the happy feeling that seemed to pulse through the place like a living thing. The sensei and his family were a different group no doubt. His mirth at the blonde's situation, however, was short lived as Anko dragged Gai over and grabbed hold of the bigger man's arm.

Thus descending the entire room into a normal state of insanity.

"Ibiki! Sing something! Please?"

"No"

"Aw! Come on! Just something little"

"No"

"Anko, maybe you should just leave Ibiki-san alo-"

"Quiet Gai, I'm trying to get him to sing. Sing!"

"No"

"Just a limerick! Or the course of something! A few lines!"

"Genma!"

"W'at?"

"I told you no!"

"Anko I think you should stop-"

"Kuchiyose no justu!"

"Ah shit. NO! BAD TUKOI!"

Ibiki, Anko and Gai all stopped in their argument to watch as a rumpled, bed raggeled bird with a very big, very bright beak flew straight at Gemna, squawking loudly something that sounded like 'Gin -Gin'. Upon reaching the blond the big black and yellow bird latched onto the Jounin's shoulder and proceed to peck at the bandannaed head – hard.

"Ow! Shit! Stop that! No! OW! IRUKA CALL HIM OFF!"

The chuunin merely rose a brow, as if mildly interested, as he watched his summon whack the older shinobi repeatedly in the head with its bright green and yellow beak, the small bare foot tapping a rhythm on the wood floor, while the scarred face remained impassive.

_Beep, beep, beep._

"Pizzas ready, Tukoi, here boy"

The bird whistled happily and flew back to the little sensei, perching on his head and ruffling the chocolate hair affectionately as Genma collapsed to the floor behind them.

"You're a cruel being Ruka"

"And you're an idiot, the world goes round, get off the floor"

Genma pouted but hauled himself up, using the counter as support and then plunked himself down in his stool. Anko and Gai moved to do the same, though Anko seemed to find it necessary to throw herself at hers, almost knocking the thing over, if it hadn't been for her boyfriend, who grabbed the back of her shirt before the stool could tip and take its passenger to the floor.

Ibiki hesitated a moment, as if he wasn't sure he was allowed to just claim a seat like the others. Genma, however, solved this problem by pushing out the stool to his right giving the bigger male a pointed look until the other man nodded and slid gingerly onto the small chair.

Iruka hid his smile behind his loose hair as he pulled the pizzas from the oven. This was the second time Ibiki had been in his house, and once again he seemed to be having trouble deciding whether or not it should be awkward.

Iruka's family didn't know that meaning of awkward, it was something that didn't exist for them and – on the rare occasions it did – they ignored it. Everyone in the small family was good at ignoring useless things.

The last time Ibiki had been there was the morning after his break down and Iruka had known then the Jounin had expected it to be a tense, painful morning, filled with 'deserved' accuses at how the older man had used him.

Instead, Iruka had snuggled with him then fed him breakfast.

Now the interrogator was back in his tiny little house, once again seated with his more than slightly crazy family and he wasn't running. The Jounin had guts, they could give him that.

The smile softened as he sliced the piping hot pies and slid them onto plates, his thoughts still of the big man currently seated behind him. He liked Ibiki, that much was clear and he was sure the feeling was returned but – Iruka knew that a big part of him, no matter how stupid, still loved Kakashi, still wanted him.

Was that fair? For Ibiki, and him? And how did Ibiki feel about the whole thing?

Iruka shook his head, he was thinking about it all too much. He would wait and see where things went – and if they didn't work out well, Ibiki still would be more then welcome to join them as a friend in the future.

Four full plates slid across the table to stop in front of his dinner guests, Genma grinning when he saw Iruka had added more pepperoni to his while Anko and Gai stared at their plates, which he had slid into the wrong spots. grinning he reached over and removed the offending spicy pizza from under the scowling Anko's nose and replaced it with the mango chicken, Gai laughing out loud as his lover cheered instantly and let out a little whoop of delight before digging in, muttering something about Jounin brushing his entire mouth before he could kiss her around the first mouth full.

Ibiki seemed surprised to find that his food too had been prepared just with him in mind, containing three different kinds of mushroom as well as meat. Iruka just smiled, watching the others as the eat, taking bits of his own food occasionally as he fed the very happy Tukoi who was still perched on his head the left over mango one little piece at a time so the idiot bird wouldn't choke itself in his haste to gobble down the juicy sweet fruit.

A light tapping on the window pulled the chuunin from his happy little world, glancing over he spotted one of the village hawks hopping around on his railing, still pausing to peck at the glass every other second.

Tukoi, however, didn't seem to like the idea of a _stranger_ pecking at anything that belonged to him; the black and yellow bird took off before Iruka could stop him and sailed full speed toward the offending hawk – only to slam into the window and fall to the ground.

"You stupid break brain"

Iruka moved to his little living room and scooped the daze summon up before moving to open the window, ignoring Genma's hoots of laughter as he reached out and took the message the hawk offered, watching silently as the bird took off once its task was complete.

Retreating back inside and placing Tukoi up on the back of the couch Iruka opened the note, already knowing what it would say but reading it anyway.

"Gen, it's for you, Hokage's office, ten minutes"

Genma instantly stopped laughing "You still have a bag for me here?"

"Under the bed"

The blond nodded before slipping off of his stool and heading for the bedroom. Only to re-appear a moment later, compact survival bag slung over one shoulder.

"Here" Genma held out a small slip of paper to the chuunin "It's a check, in case I'm not back by Wednesday could you go and give it to my landlord?"

Iruka nodded, carefully tucking the check away into the pages of a book before returning to the Jounin to claim a hug.

"Be safe ok"

Genma nodded as he clung to the smaller male, burying his face into the crook of the mocha neck, as if he was trying to find comfort in the others scent. Then letting go he gave the chuunin a salute and moved back to the kitchen to be embraced by both Anko and Gai, grinning slightly at Anko's customary threat to kill him if he died; a quick bow and a whispered word were given to Ibiki before the blond slipped his seabon back between his lips and disappeared through the door.

Biting at his lip Iruka turned at picked back up the book that held Genma's check and stashed it away on the book case, memorizing which one it was so he could find it later if needed. Glancing back at the kitchen he smiled when he saw Gai attempting to clean up for him, but failing in the fact he didn't know where to put anything.

Anko was packing away the uneaten pizza into boxes - as it was custom for Iruka to send the leftovers home with the others – though she seemed to be unwilling to touch Gai's spicy pizza.

"Ah, come on Anko, just pick it up and put it in the box!"

Iruka walked over to the older woman who gave him a look like he'd just asked her to touch dirty underwear found on the street. Iruka rolled his eyes.

"Honestly" taking the box from her he slipped the left over pieces into the plastic square then sealed it "You worse than Genma with spinach"

Anko stuck her tongue out at him in reply only to get hit on the head with an empty box.

"Ow! Hey!"

"Do that again and I'll grab your tongue"

The kounichi grinned at him – knowing full well he would carry out the threat if need be "leave my appendages alone, I have need of them later" the dark eyes swept over Gai's broad form slowly.

"Too much info Ang, thanks anyway"

This made Anko crack up laughing while Gai turned a strange shade of red, Ibiki's expression didn't change much but the black eyes glittered with amusement as he watched the little self-made family as they moved around kitchen.

Iruka had to grin to himself as he stopped Gai from putting the cookie sheets away in the oven while kicking Anko back to her chair before she could reach the fridge and find the dango she knew he'd bought for her.

This made way for the sulky little pout that not many people would associate with the purple haired woman who was known for making grown, trained shinobi cry while spilling their guts when she hadn't even touched them yet.

It was kinda ridiculous when you thought about it.

"Rrrrrruuukkyyy" Anko was now trying the 'cute' ploy, meaning she was running out of ideas and was desperate "Dango?"

Iruka sighed, while grinning to himself at the same time. Moving to the fridge he pulled the sweet out held it just out of her reach

"RRuukkkaaa" Anko's pout faded into a grin as she chased him around kitchen island, moving one way then the other, trying to take him by surprise – until she got annoyed and just jumped over the counter to grab at him.

"Cheat!" Iruka took off, the coveted sweet still in his grasp as he fled to the bedroom. Setting the food down on the dresser he grabbed a pillow and waited for Anko to follow.

The instant the door was flung open Iruka threw his weapon, watching as the fluffy missile hit the Kounichi square in the face, sending her toppling backwards into the living room where Gai and Ibiki had moved to talk, their conversation paused as they watched the sibling's dango war, amusement clear on their faces.

Iruka grinned at the glaring Anko who was still sprawled on the living room floor, the pillow seated innocently by her head. Glancing at it she smiled and slowly picked it up, the smile growing bigger and scarier by the second.

It was the point in time where most people would be thinking 'run' Iruka however was simply thinking that he needed a better weapon.

Quickly he glanced around the room; the baseball bat was affective but over kill considering she was his sister, same with the seabon and knun-kchuks so that left –

Trap wire.

Anko was already half way to the room when he grabbed the roll and flicked it toward her with a skillful twist of his hand, causing the end to wrap around her ankle while the other end was tossed around a beam in the ceiling.

One quick pull, a shriek and a good deal of cursing later saw Anko hanging upside down from the roof by one leg, glaring at her innocently grinning brother with enough venom to make the Miskage spill her country's darkest secrets.

"Mean. Mean cruel being of evil. Let me down"

Iruka hummed, as if in thought before shaking his head.

"Ruka. Down. Now."

"You sure?"

"RUKA!"

Iruka's grin grew and he lifted his hands in surrender – and let go of the wire.

There was another shriek, this time followed by a thud before the cursing began again.

Still smiling Iruka picked back up the dango and left the room, returned to the kitchen and pulled out a bright purple plate. Opening the package he carefully slipped the pieces out of it and onto Anko's favorite plate.

Then he grabbed the cake Gai had brought and sliced off three pieces, transferring those onto plates as well before balancing the lot on his head and arms and walking steadily to the living room. Anko had crawled her way out of the bedroom by now and was currently curled up in her boyfriend's lap, she gave the chuunin an amused glare as he moved closer and carefully set down the sweets before handing the purple plate to her, winking at her as he did.

She simply gave him a glare that didn't quite reach her eyes and stuck her tongue out as she took the treat.

Iruka rolled his eyes while he passed the cake slices to the other two before taking his and flopping down to sit on the floor by Ibiki.

The time passed pleasantly as they all talked, Gai telling the bits he could from his mission while Anko and Iruka made them all laugh with tales of their more disastrous pranks, Ibiki sitting quietly on the couch, a small content smile playing on the thin lips.

XoXoXoXoxoXoXoXoXoXOxOx

**Ok, horrible spot to stop I know, on the up side, the next chap is done, I was writing this one and it…just kept going…and going….and going till I had two chapters worth with no good place to cut them.**

**So I just picked a random spot.**

**and again, sorry its been so long, my summer is freakishly busy with jobs and such, like I said before I'm currently trying to finish the rest of the story before post more, but I couldn't resist putting this one up.  
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**Ja Ne!  
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**XOX**


	9. No Shortcuts

**Ok, so a part of me is screaming not to post this and a another is tell me its not so bad while another is being lazy and saying I can't fix it anyway…I'm listening to the latter two.**

**I feel like both go a bit OOC during this but I'm really not sure, also, Iruka out of nowhere started talking about his past – and then wouldn't shut up *facepalm* I swear, they **_**never**_** listen to me!**

**Ah, to Moonflow29 – my first guest reviewer ever – thank you so very much, and I can't really stand too much angst, both in storys and in real life, this is way I'm usually a little silly as I find too often people get caught up in the bad, my goal is to have the bad and still find the bright side *beams***

**MayIGoOutSensei, I hope you enjoy the end of this chapter and that it lives up to your fantasy's *winks***

**XoX**

_There are no shortcuts to place worth going_

**XoX**

Iruka stifled a giggle, watching as Anko's eyes twinkled with glee as they told Gai and Ibiki of the disastrous incident that had happened when they were teens, Gai's broad face was frozen in what Iruka liked to call 'horrified awe' – though the look did nothing to help with his current laughing fit.

"So the Hokages festival was coming up to the 'Grand Finally' and we'd just spent the past five hours running around, eating sweets and drinking mixed drinks that held small amounts of either coffee or low prof alcohol, meaning we were about as high as two teens can be without breaking any laws. Of _course_ this is when Anko starts thinking. She tells me that last year the fireworks were pathetically sad, set off randomly and only two or three at a time, so what would be the harm in going over and helping the show a little?"

Anko smirked at his mock glare as she launched into the next part "It wasn't hard to find the place – they'd set everything up down by the pond - and after convincing Ruka to rig up a few traps around the place we'd started sorting -in hind sight it actually would have worked out really good – if either of us had known how to use the timer fuse"

"We'd had it all set and lined up, our plan was to leave it like that and let the ninja assigned to setting them off light it, that way nothing bad would happen; and it would have worked – if they hadn't tried to come in early and set off my traps"

Anko was now in a full fit of hysteria – spread eagle on the floor and shaking while still somehow managing to talk "I –I blame my-myself for forgetting just what it means when you tell Ruka to rig traps. I remember the screaming and running back up the hill to find the poor guys – one strung up by his ankles, being whipped around like a yo-yo and the other face down on the ground with wires wrapped round his arms and legs. Of course _that's_ when we realized Sandaime-sama had hired _ANBU_ to set off the fireworks. When Ruka saw who he'd just trap wired he freaked out and was going to help them when I when into a full blown panic attack – not one of my smartest move I know but I grabbed him and made him run, heading back to the village in the hopes we wouldn't be recognized."

"That would have worked too, if Anko hadn't knocked over the candles by the fireworks and lit the fuse. We didn't notice and had kept running until they started to go off two minutes later. We weren't in the clear yet and got thrown back by the force when 17 of the rockets went off at once"

"It's all still a bit hazy but I remember lying flat out in the wet grass, Ruka half-conscious on top of me, the smell of singed hair and smoke in the air and watching as the 105 fireworks that had been meant for a nice fifteen minute show all go off in the space of about 45 seconds"

"and by then the ANBU had gotten out of the traps and found us, promptly dragging our singed, dazed butts back to the village and checked us into the hospital to be treated for burns. Then the Hokage came in with the Elders and they spent a good hour or so yelling – well the Elders did, Sandaime-sama just stood in the corner with an odd look on his face. Then with the old bags finally left Sandaime-sama came up to us slowly, dropped in to a chair between our beds and began to laugh hysterically. Though when he stopped he did tell us we were in no way off the hook and to get some sleep cause we were going to need it."

Gai was wiping away tears, one hand clutching at his side as he straightened back up "Sarutobi-sama was a great man, no doubt. Though what did you-"

"Have to do as punishment?"

"De-slug-a-fyed the swamp" Anko's nose crinkled in distaste at the memory

"Cleaned out the Inuzuka clan's dog kennels"

"Escorted a visiting lords bratty teen son around"

"He developed a crush on Anko and tried to kiss her before he left, her reaction didn't shorten our sentence any"

"Which lead to, rice season"

"Bean season"

"And apple picking – the whole orchard"

"then-"

"Weeding all of Konoha central park"

"Grocery shopping for the Akimichi's-"

"-it took three and a half carts"

"And helped the T&I staff re-organise their whole filing system"

"I remember that" Ibiki leaned forward slightly, though he was careful not to move his legs, which Iruka had moved to lean against "I was in training and some of the desk staff were pulling sticks to see who had to keep an eye on the 'village demons' though I had thought they were talking about some weapon or ANBU summon at the time"

Anko and Iruka exchanged looks before bursting out laughing.

"Village Demons?"

"Never heard _that_ one before"

Ibiki shook his head as he watched the two laugh themselves silly on the floor. "You really were terrors, how old were you?"

"Then?" Iruka leaned his head back so he was looking up at the big man with his temple against the solid, jean covered thigh "Umm, I would have been fifteen, Anko at sixteen – and a horrible influence of course"

"Ya Ya, like you weren't evil enough before I came along" Anko's fond smile turned into a yawn and she leaned back against Gai briefly before jumping up.

The older man smiled at her and took her hand, letting her pull him up "Time to head home dear?"

Anko glanced over at her younger brother, only to find he had gotten up when she did and headed to the kitchen where he was placing their leftovers into a bag to take home.

Handing over the bag Iruka gave his sister a kiss on the cheek, making her glare while blushing. Gai pulled him into a one armed hug, bring him close as the deep voice dropped to a whisper.

"Don't dwell over Kakashi, he'll smarten up, eventually"

The white teeth flashed in fond smile as the Jounin let him go and joined his lover by the door, both of them waving once more before swing the wood closed gently, leaving him alone with the interrogator.

"Fifteen"

"What?" turning away from the door Iruka moved back to the couch and slipped in beside Ibiki.

"You were fifteen and you could make traps that could doop ANBU"

Iruka shook his head "No, not really, Anko did most of them back then and they must have known they were there, either that or, since they knew it was just us they never-"

"Why aren't you a Jounin?"

Iruka's eyes narrowed "What?"

"You heard" Ibiki leaned closer to the chuunin "From what I've heard and seen you're a genius with traps and strategies, you could easily make Tokubetsu Jounin, so why not?"

Iruka sighed and ran a hand through dark chocolate strands "Personal reasons? I don't want it. Jounin can only sub at the academy as a full time position would interfere with missions. I love teaching, it was the first thing – besides Anko – that actually brought some meaning and use to my life, and I wouldn't give it up for promotion, even if I could"

The black eyes narrowed "Even if you could?"

A rueful smile was the answer "Mmm, I'm not allowed to take the Jounin test, as of an official decree of the Elders"

Ibiki blinked "You're kidding right? There's no way they would waste man power like that unless-"

"Unless they had reasons" Iruka brought his legs up and tangled them over Ibiki's, pleased when the bigger man didn't protest.

"What reasons would they be? If you can-"

"Oh I can tell you, it's in my file, as if my name alone isn't a dead give-away already"

Ibiki shifted slightly so he was facing the chuunin with his body "You mean-"

"It's one of those really odd things, everyone _suspects_ but no one ever says it out loud, or asks. No, the Umino's are not from Konoha, I was born here but my parents weren't so any rules made for them still apply to me; if I were to get married and have kids, my kids would be allowed to go as far as they wanted, being the second generation to be born here but for me – chuunin is as high as it goes and I'm indebted to Sandaime for that"

The scarred face filled with intrigue "Really, so your parent were-"

"Refuges, from the civil war in Mist, it was actually my grandparents. My Mother and Father were in their pre-teens when they came here"

"Mother _and_ Father? You're Mother wasn't from here?"

"No, and therein lays the main issue. When my grandparents came here it was with what was left of the clan and instead of passing their blood traits by having their children marry into Konoha's clan's as a show of loyalty they force an arranged marriage to insure 'blood purity' – my Mother was against it obviously, but as she was 13 at the time she had no choice"

"And you're the only one left now?"

Iruka nodded "Another draw back from making my parents marry, people don't seemed notice but the longer you try to keep something like blood pure, the quicker the whole line dies. My parents were the only children to survive the attack in Mist, in all technicality they were cousins though from what I was told it didn't matter much as the Umino clan was run similar to the Hyuuga's, and true to the saying, old habits die hard."

Ibiki looked mildly shocked at that "Cousins? I know it happens by why wouldn't it matter?"

Iruka hummed thoughtfully for a moment before unwinding his legs from Ibiki's , moving to the kitchen and pulling out the kettle "It didn't matter cause they hardly knew each other, from what I was told it was like the Head family and the branch families in Hyuuga. My Mother was from one of the lower families, while my Father was the eldest son of the Head, he – he had trouble adjusting to the fall from power, to put it lightly"

Ibiki stood slowly and followed Iruka to the kitchen, a small flicker of uncertainty in the black eyes "Iruka? Are you ok with telling me this? It's my job to ask questions so – well, you know you don't _have _to tell me. If you don't want to"

Iruka laughed and wave the offer aside "Don't worry, like I said, everything I'm telling you can be found in a file. If the Elders had wanted us hidden they would have told us to change our name. Besides, I really don't mind, my past is not something I'm ashamed of or have ever tried to hide, just no ever really asks – the whole unspoken ninja rule about privacy I think; you know, the one where it doesn't exist unless you're talking to the person in question?"

He grinned over his shoulder when the older man gave an amused snort "Ya, that sounds about right"

Iruka chuckled "I know for a fact that there is over 7 shinobi who have read my file – if anything, that annoys me more, I prefer just telling people as then it's me giving the information but you're actually the only person besides Anko to ask me out right. Chai?"

Ibiki nodded and Iruka when about adding the tea bags to the boiled water, still humming softly when he heard Ibiki take in a breath.

"Your parents – they were the reason for your; disorder?"

Iruka's smile was a bit sad as he pulled his tea set from under the counter "You never met my Father did you?" the expected head shake made the smile gain a rueful edge "Father was – a very proud man. If I was being cruel I would say he was like Hrashi but that's wrong, he was a strong, protective man who had lost the future he'd been pushed to work for, I think the main problem with him was he was bitter, almost disappointed with himself for not being able to give his family the things he thought he should have. It probably also didn't help that Mother and I didn't care about it, Mother's life had been different than his from the start – as a lower family her surroundings had been simple and more or less normal, she didn't lose anything really by coming here, in fact she gained, by not being trapped in the clan democracy and knowing that I would be free to be who I wanted. And since I was born here – it was home. The run down house with the door that sometimes refused to open, the slanted floors that you could roll a ball down, the chipping paint job – I loved it  
>And I think that pissed my father off.<p>

'So he tried to control it, minimize what he'd lost. Even though I wasn't born into a clan community, I was raised like it. Protocol, manners, relentless training, he tried to put me through the academy test when I was six but the Elders refused him. They didn't trust him enough to allow that."

The tea was poured into the plain white cups then carried back to the living room where Iruka folded himself back down on the soft carpet, pushing the tray closer to Ibiki so the big man could take his cup. Smiling Ibiki sipped the hot liquid, the black eyes never leaving the chuunin on the floor.

"What was your Mother like?"

Iruka grinned at the question; out of all his memories of his parents, the ones of his Mother were best "She was -different. Calm gentle, kind, loving, always smiling and willing to help, never said a thing against anyone or did anything undignified – until you gave her the chance to decompress; then she was sharp, stubborn and had a mischievous streak that could put mine to shame. She was best friends with the Iunzuka's and the Maito family and could put a whole new meaning on the word 'repressed'. There was the proper clan's wife when she was in front of my Father at home and the fire eyed imp she was with me."

"So you take after her then"

Iruka looked surprised for a moment then blushed "Ya, I guess I do. If anything I got her temper and sharp tongue"

Ibiki smiled and sighed as he leaned back against the couch "She sounds like a classy lady, wish I had met her"

This only made Iruka blush harder though his smile was pleased "I think she would have liked you. She was never intimidated by rank or size or the fact someone was stronger than her. To her, people were people and everyone deserved a chance to be themselves. She used to say that no matter how bad things got there would always be something to be happy about. Internal optimist some would say but I think she just understood that happiness is a choice, one that you make every day when you wake up. She was always like that, even at the end"

Iruka stared out through the window, partly lost in the memories. He heard Ibiki shift on the couch and jumped slightly in shock when a big hand touched his arm, pulling gently until he stood and joined the older man back on the couch.

"They died in the Fox attack right?"

Iruka nodded, not protesting when Ibiki pulled him closer then was necessary "Yes, they were in the Special Division up in the front. I was with them until the call sounded, then I was grabbed with the other children who were fighting and dragged back to the caves. When the all clear was given, I got sorted into a group with the rest of the new orphans."

Somehow, Ibiki had moved him so his head was lying on the bigger man's lap, the calloused fingers carded through the chocolate hair gently while a solid arm was wrapped around the slender waist, keeping him in the lounged position across the other man's legs. It was nice, Iruka felt himself relaxing and leaning into the touches as he continued the story.

"After the attack. Where did you go?"

The chocolate eyes seemed to ponder for a moment before they slid shut as the chuunin sighed "The academy first, we all took the test right then and there – those that passed were given Genin rank and sent off to the housing that was made for them while the others – including me - got sent to some hastily built barracks, which were passing as the new orphanage, till we passed the test. Where did you get sent?"

"During the Reconstruction?" the deep voice was strong and soothing, it washed over Iruka like a gentle wave "I was sent to HQ and the missions started, didn't stop till round five months later, when the village was back to a semi rebuilt stage, then I started my training in T&I – never got out much. Till I meet Anko all those years ago. That woman's a punch to the face, no doubt."

Iruka chuckled, it was a very good way to describe Anko, no matter what she lived to shock people – or forcibly pull them from their comfort zones.

"After you passed the test, where did you go?"

Iruka smiled, a sad one but he found himself answering "Well, first they sent me and the others to pass to the Genin 'housing' really they were one room studio apartments made of plain concrete stacked 14 across and 7 high. I had just turned eleven then, it was actually right when the war with Stone started, they shipped me out to the front but I was lucky, they put me in the healing tent then sent me home after two months.'

'Spent a good deal of time just doing whatever after that; I helped in the hospital, or with rebuilding, sometimes I was assigned to a higher rank and was a gopher for the day. I didn't get a Jounin sensei till I hit twelve. She was horrible, I think she was a in some sort of re-stability program and they thought giving her a team to look after would help"

"It has in the past, something to focus on other than their problems"

Iruka sighed "I know that, and often I find myself wish it had this time too but – she was too far gone. My team mates were both nobody's as well – expendable really – both girls, one –Shizu – was like Hinata; quiet and calm, very gentle. I think she would have done well as a mednin. The other –Kana – was almost like Kiba, loud and cocky – she would have gone far, if only on her determination alone.'

'sensei Son'u – in another life, she might have been a good teacher, she knew she stuff, there was no doubting that but – her methods were brutal, and she herself was violent, often we would end up dragging each other to the hospital at the end of the day, not all our wounds from training'

'Two months after becoming a team the chuunin exams rolled around. I'm pretty sure the Son'u had been told she wasn't allowed to leave us until we all passed the test – so she entered us.  
>At age twelve I was the oldest, the other two being ten and nine"<p>

Iruka squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the memories and the tears. The big hands soothed over his face, making it hurt reseed just a bit.

"Iruka? What happened?"

Taking in a deep breath he made sure his voice was steady before answering "We'd only known each other two months, but we had already become a family to each other, three misfits with no one. Kana was eager for the test, a chance to prove she wasn't useless while Shizu was terrified; I just wanted to keep them both safe. I failed'

'We made it through the first test just fine, we were all pretty book smart – well, except for Kana but she had this cool but creepy ability to turn her eyes backwards so she could see out of the back of her head, she just copied the answers from this genius from Sand. The second task started out fine; the goal was to find five different stones without getting killed by the others. We'd found three in record time and had just found the fourth when we ran in to a group from Lightning – two teams who had ganged up to reach the end – we honestly weren't that skilled and the fact that we'd only known each other two months meant our team work was lacking – not because we didn't get along but because we didn't know enough to be compatible yet. The Lightning Genin caught on to this right away and before any of us could really even take a stance they hit us. I blacked out and they must have thought I was dead cause when I woke up they were gone, Kana was on the ground twitching and Shizu was hanging from a tree, her body pinned by the weapons they'd thrown."

He heard Ibiki's quick intake of air but didn't open his eyes, the first and last person he'd told all this too was Anko and as selfish as it was it felt good to let all the trapped hurt escape through the words.

"The rest of it is kind of hazy, I remember picking Kana up and running – just running – till I got back to the gates, begging, I'm pretty sure I begged the guards to save her, they said no - that I remember, I remember the disbelief and anger at any rate – they unlocked the gates and told me to take her myself if it was so important. I've never been sure just how I managed to get to the hospital, just that I passed out once getting there. When I woke up, I was healed and Kana was dead, a heart injury, given by a lightning attack, it had been left too long; in the end her heart gave out.'

'A few days later I got out and tried to go home but Son'u found me. She was mad – livid more like. She was snarling all her words at that point but from what I could actually gather, she had been in ANBU and since she had just killed off her team they weren't letting her go back. It's sad really, I never found out much about her but I'm pretty sure she had lost everything and started throwing herself into the missions until they were all she had left to live for. Somewhere in the haze that was her remaining logic she had decided it was my fault for ruining her life, I was lucky there was a patrol team nearby cause I'm sure she would have killed me if they hadn't stopped her.'

'As it was I got to go back to hospital, the nurses all thought I was ether the clumsiest person in the village or the unluckiest. At any rate, they probably all thought they should take me home swathed in bubble wrap due to all the times I ended up under their care. Son'u had managed to crack and shatter 8 ribs, snap both legs and smash my right arm; even after I was healed it took a while for my arm to mend meaning I had to learn how to do everything left handed. I started just taking jobs then, what I could with my rank anyway, started doing odd jobs for the Mission Room staff too and got them to like me, sometimes they'd take me out for lunch, more out of pity I think but free food was free food. They would also occasionally show me new tricks and ninjutsu.'

'Year and a half it was like that, I was still trying to train but there's only so far you can go on your own. I began spying on the other Genin teams, trying to see what their sensei's were teaching them, and I also may have broken into Sandaime's library in an attempt to teach myself new traps"

He could practically feel Ibiki grinning at that one "Oh? How'd that work out?"

"Great actually, the traps that almost killed me were most educational"

Iruka grinned when the big man made a sort of choked sound he bet was a laugh.

"What then? Did you get a new sensei or end up going to someone?"

"Huh, you know, it wouldn't have been a bad idea to do that, but of course I didn't think of that. No, I got put on a new team when I turned 14. Both were prodigies, one from was Hyuuga – Shindo – he was from a lower family, and had an unhealthy need to prove himself while the other was a no name sprout up that had blasted her way through the academy – her parents were civilians so they hadn't gotten much say in way happened to her, not after the Elders saw what she could do.

Her name was Tensai, we got along quite well, she was 10 and I think she saw me as a big brother. Shindo didn't want anything to do with either of us, to him, she was only worthy of notice because of her 'genius' title while I wasn't worth anything, still being Genin at 14.'

'Our sensei's name was Buta, he was a slob and a drunk. He would give us drills and then fall asleep under a tree, or go to a bar and forget about us. He was the worst sensei, though we did gain a good deal of muscle due to him. We showed each other tricks mostly; Shindo stopped being upy and became sulky when he learnt I could beat him in traps.'

'It wasn't the best arrangement but it was something, then four months later it all when to hell. We went out to get a mission and Buta was utterly and completely smashed, they have us a simple retrieval C-rank, few hours there and back – no big deal – we'd done it before and even carried Buta back, so we weren't worried. The missing nin were not supposed to be there, Still don't know if they wanted the scroll or if they were just having some sick fun but Buta panicked and set off a jutsu that back fired, he tried to protect himself by grabbing Shindo, ending up killing the both of them. I had managed to pull Tensai into the trees and booby trapped the place with everything I could think of. We stayed the two days until a tracking team crossed our trail and learnt the story. They took us home.'

'All things considered Tensai and I weren't that hurt, but everyone else was pissed. The Academy, demanding to know just how a cowardice drunk managed to get put on the sensei list while a good half dozen Hyuuga's yelled themselves horse over the loss of Shindo, Elders, the team that had picked us up – they were all yelling, at Sandaime, at each other, at me and Tensai while Tensai's parents stayed huddled in the corner until they were allowed to take her home.'

"Tensai's parents moved away the next day – somewhere out by the border – Sandaime made sure they got away in peace and that no one could go after them. then he told me he was sorry, sorry that there had been no one to see until too late; then he gave me a full time job with him and in the mission room, it was enough of a wage I was able to buy this place. I met Anko a few months later, and life started getting better. I was pushed into taking the chuunin test again at sixteen, as a fill in for a team and that's how I met Ko and Zumo, started teaching soon after, met Naruto, got a job as a trapper and met Genma and Rai."

Iruka's voice had been becoming lower as his relaxed state made him grow drowsy, his eyes sliding slowly shut as the soft touches lulled him into a mindless state, when suddenly the more conscious part of his mind snapped back, becoming fully wake as the younger man grew mildly horrified at just what he had dumped on the other man. Ibiki couldn't have wanted to know all of that; the big man had lived through much worse than him; that he was sure of.

Why would he have wanted to know the full story of his pitiful life?

The dark eyes snapped open while the full lips parted, about to form an apology of some sort, even though he had no clue what to say for being so selfish, when a larger but warm mouth met his and effectively stopped all words.

Iruka gasped, hands flying up to grab at the broad shoulders while Ibiki's powerful arms made their way around his middle, one moving to the center of his back for support while the other wove through the rich chocolate tinged hair to cradle the smaller man's head.

Lifting Ibiki pulled him closer until he was nearly laying horizontal in the air, legs starched out on the couch with his hips still touching the solid thighs, the rest of his slender body being held with perfect control by the strong arms while all the while the thin scarred lips pressed against his, moving in a way that gave him no choice but to submit and kiss back.

A hot tongue flickered over his lips before the other man pulled back until the black eyes met rich brown, though the jounin made no move to lower him. The thin lips here smiling slightly, a sad sort of amusement filled the dark eyes.

"I-Ibiki?" Iruka's voice was soft and horse, the name whispered through uncertain lips.

The beg man simply pulled him closer, the shadows that played over the deep scars making Iruka realize with a start that it was dark, the soft yellow streaming in from the street lamps the only light filling the little apartment.

"Don't apologize for telling me any of that, and please don't regret it ether, I _wanted_ to know. You're an amazing person Iruka, to have lived through that time alone. Out of the all the many who can remember that time I know very few have actually made something of themselves, many have given up or just went on until the job killed them. There are very few shinobi in this village who actively try to move on and make a life for themselves after losing everything. You didn't shut down or hide yourself away, you went on with an open heart, still hoping, despite knowing that you could and would get hurt again. For this you are one of the strongest people I think I've ever met"

The dark brown eyes widened while slender hands tightened their grip on the broad shoulders. Chocolate hair swayed back and forth as the smaller man shook his head, trying to deny what had been said.

"No, no I'm not strong. I'm good with traps and teaching sure but I wouldn't have survived half of the things I know you and Genma and Raidou have, I-"

The thin lips pressed against his, once again silencing him. The big hand on the back of his neck shifting slightly until his head was tilted at a better angle. A sharp bite at his lower lip made Iruka gasp in pain before moaning when a hot tongue pushed into his mouth and began to explore. The gentle touches making Iruka's mind go blank until he could no longer grasp just what he had been saying to the other.

After another moment Ibiki pulled back again, an annoyed glint in the dark eyes. "Keep putting yourself down, I will keep stopping you. If you wouldn't let someone talk down to your family, don't do it to yourself. It takes a special kind of character to see the real person behind all of my walls, and you not only found me you dragged me out of them. Don't undervalue yourself Iruka; you'll only hurt the people that love you by doing so."

Blinking in surprise Iruka blushed and tried to look down only to find the move impeded by the fingers still wove through his hair. The big man sighed.

"You really have low self-esteem don't you?"

His protest came out as a stutter, one he clamped down on quickly, a blush spreading farther over the deep facial scar. Ibiki chuckled, the big arms changing their hold on the lithe little body with ease as the older man stood.

Iruka gave a yelp when he was lifted, the slender hands moving to wrap around Ibiki's neck for more support while the Jounin walked toward the bedroom.

"Ibiki! Wait! What are you doi- wooh"

The question left his body in a puff of air when the arms let him go and dropped him on the bed.

"Ibiki?"

The Jounin's name was whispered softly and nervously. The older man stood standing by the edge of the bed, simply looking down at the chuunin, an unreadable look in the dark eyes.

"You're beautiful Iruka"

Iruka gasped, eyes growing wide while the bigger man leaned forward and reached out a hand, soothing it over the mocha jaw and up to the younger man's temple.

"I-Ibiki, what-?"

"You're beautiful Iruka. Has no one ever told you that?"

Iruka swallowed, licking at his suddenly dry lips while he reached up to touch the hand on his face uncertainly, after a pause and a moment's thought he started to shake his head, only to stop, eyes widening, when he realized –Kakashi, Kakashi had said it – though he didn't think the Jounin had known he'd spoken out loud – the white haired man was the only person he could remember, besides his Mother, to say it.

Ibiki hummed, a tinge of sadness in it as he moved his other hand to run through the loose chocolate hair.

"It's silly really" the deep voice was soft and gentle as the hands touching "People never really think about words but – to someone like me, words are my job. I know words, I see every day how something as little and simple as a sentence can break, defy or betray. One tiny word all that is needed to show someone's weakness – or the extent of just how strong they really are. Funny isn't it? How one word – just one – can say more about a person than weeks of research could ever yield."

The bed dipped as the larger male sat, one leg folded on the covers while the other remained on the floor, the scarred hands still running over the smaller body with gentle care.

"Words can also damage without ever being spoken, they can damage from _not_ being spoken. You are a beautiful person Iruka, and you should have been told that."

Biting at his lip Iruka turned his face away, trying to fight the hot tears threatening to fall, the older man's soft words and touches affecting him more then he cared to admit. The larger body shifted and he felt the cool hands pulling at his shirt hem, causing the dark eyes to snap open.

"Ibiki what-"

"Shh" the big hands ran back up the lithe body soothingly while the bigger man moved until he was above the younger, the scarred face cupped gently in the calloused hand.

"Last time I was here with you, you showed me a side of myself I had forgotten, a side many don't bother to believe exists. Last time you gave me something I didn't think I would ever be able to repay you for."

The hand moved, slipping underneath the slender body and spreading out in the middle of the curved back. Lifting Ibiki pulled Iruka closer till the younger man was once again hanging in mid-air, held up only by the larger man's strength.

"Let me- "the older man paused, rethinking the choice of words before trying again "I want to try to give you something like you gave me, I want to – do what you want. People don't give you a say in how things go do they?"

Licking his lips Iruka shook his head "No, people usually aren't rough – the opposite actually. They treat me like I'm going to break. They don't let me move much either, they always want to move me. Really I'm more like a lifeless puppet most of the time."

Ibiki smiled before letting him drop, making Iruka laugh when he hit the bed and bounced.

"You seem pretty sturdy to me"

Iruka cracked up laughing while the older male nuzzled the mocha neck while his nose "Pretty sturdy? Kami Ibiki that's just cheesy"

A deep rumbling laugh flowed from the bigger man "Ya, that was, out of all the things I can do with words, flirting is not one of them"

Laughter flowed, easy and free while Iruka let the Jounin slip off his shirt, the smile growing as Ibiki ran his scarred hands up the dark skin. They felt good, Iruka's mind noted hazily, warm, if a bit rough, hard callouses scratching slightly as they glided over his skin and Iruka found himself arching into the touch.

Leaning up he hooked an arm around Ibiki's neck and pulled the older man down for a kiss. The knowledge that he could touch and move freely without the fear that Ibiki would push him back down and demand control was very touching – especially since Iruka knew just how much control meant to the bigger man.

Iruka coaxed the older man to deepen the kiss, moaning when the hot tongue slipped into his mouth and inwardly smirking as the other man groaned when he sealed his lips and sucked greedily on the invading tongue. Surprisingly, this only seemed to please Ibiki.

The older man pulled him closer, once again lifting him off the mattress until he was pressed flush against the larger body. Moaning Iruka wrapped his arms around the broad shoulders and let the control flow back to Ibiki, relaxing into the hard kiss while enjoying the odd but strangely thrilling sensation of being held up.

After a moment Ibiki pulled back, leaving Iruka to bite back his whimper of protest when he was dropped back down on the bed, eyes half lidded as the chuunin watched the bigger man raise up till he was sitting back, knees braced on either side of the slender tanned body, and the soft dress shirt and white tank were quickly removed, reveling scarred skin and hard muscles.

Iruka's mouth went dry.

The sudden need to touch hit him and slowly he moved, stretching his right arm out behind him and spreading the hand for balance, until he was level with scarred planes of Ibiki's torso. His gaze flicked upward for a moment, left hand paused an inch away from the others skin as he waited for the big man's reaction.

He had been telling the truth when he'd told Ibiki he didn't usually have much freedom in the bedroom, Kaakshi had let him play a bit but even the copy nin had forced back the control in the end. Control was something Iruka had never really had – least not in the sexual sense - he could demand it in the class room and at the Mission Desk but something about being intimate made people possessive of him.

Ibiki however didn't move, the black eyes never leaving him though as the older man seemed to wait for him to do something, the Jounin's words flashed through his mind again and Iruka felt a sense of peace along with the increasing certainty that he was free tonight.

Dark, kiss bruised lips gently pressed against rock hard abs before beginning to explore with skilled enthusiasm. Slender fingers brushed teasingly over the pale skin of the older man's hip and back while the hot little mouth move up toward the chest, soft licks and gentle nips making a trail up the scarred torso.

A deep husky moan vibrated through the Ibiki's chest when Iruka sucked on a pale nipple, grinning the chuunin switched to rolling the nub with his tongue before biting down lightly, pulling another moan from the Jounin while a large hand fisted in the chocolate hair, gentle presser keeping him in place as he repeating the movement before switching sides, the dark hand playing up the larger body, tracing the scars and muscles.

Pushing himself up higher, Iruka switched his attention to the broad shoulders and neck, tracing old scars with a hot tongue while nimble fingers played across the toned shoulder blades, making Ibiki unconsciously arch into the touch, pressing his bare chest closer to the exploring mouth as he did.

Iruka felt the fingers tangled in his hair twitch and tighten their grip. Normally this was the signal that his play was over and he was about to be pinned and – in this case – promptly stripped of his remaining clothes.

So it was a surprise when Ibiki simply coaxed him to tilt his head back for a hard kiss, one that left them both breathless and panting when he pulled back.

The black eyes were lidded and glazed with what could only be lust, though Iruka knew his would be no different, he'd been aroused since Ibiki had dropped him on the bed and he could feel the proof the Jounin was in the same state.

"gods Iruka you're driving me crazy. It's no wonder people get possessive of you"

The big hands left the rich chocolate hair and slid gently down the slender body, coming to rest on the waist band of the uniform pants. Iruka gasped when the soft fabric was pushed over his hips and tugged down his legs, there was a dull 'thud' when the clothing hit the wall behind the bed,

Iruka found himself blushing as Ibiki's gaze swept over his bare form slowly, desire clear in the lidded eyes, before the Jounin reached over him for the bed side table, opening the drawer he quickly found the lube though the he made no comment about the open seal.

Iruka watched as Ibiki moved back to his original position above him, scarred hands working on the tube's cap when the words rang through his mind.

What he wanted to do.

"Ibiki wait"

Ibiki paused, a small smile growing on the thin lips as he dropped the tube on the bed and leaned back.

"What would you like?"

The blush was back and he had to fight not to stutter.

"I – want you to lay down"

Ibiki's eyes narrowed in confusion for a moment when it downed on him, amazement filling the deep voice.

"Y-you want to- to ride me?"

Iruka bit his lip and nodded, the blush darkening and spreading farther down the tanned body when. Ibiki let out a breathless laugh then grabbed Iruka and rolled, reversing their positions easily, an eager light playing in the black eyes.

Iruka guessed that very few people were so bold with the intimidating Jounin, though he himself wasn't quite sure where the sudden urge had come from, he'd never done it before – on one had allowed it.

He grinned, this should be fun.

Quickly he returned to exploring the pale skin with lips and tongue, sucking hard on the pale nipples, making Ibiki groan before moving lower, hot tongue dipping teasingly into the Jounin's navel and playing over old knife wounds, slashed across the toned hips, while slender hands made quick work of the soft jeans, the older man letting out a hiss when the cold air hit his erection.

Licking his lips and flashing the Jounin one last impish grin Iruka bobbed his head down, enjoying Ibiki's yell when he sucked hard, then swallowed, drawing the thick member deeper down his throat.

"H-holy –hell"

Iruka mentally grinned then started to hum, making the Jounin yell again as the pale hips bucked before he could stop it.

"F-fuck – I'm – sorry, you ok?"

A large hand fisted in his hair gently coaxing him to lift his head. Swallowing once more, making Ibiki groan Iruka allowed himself to be pulled away, releasing the others cock with a wet 'pop' before sitting beck and licking his lips while he grinned at the other.

"Y-you are too - good at that" Ibiki smiled while he sucked in air and smoothed a hand down the scarred cheek "Did I hurt you?"

Iruka laughed "No, I'm fine, I didn't mind"

Ibiki frowned "Didn't mind-? I could have seriously hurt you if-"

The chuunin smiled and shook his head "No, I didn't mean like that. Sometimes when I go on higher rank missions with Jounin I end up giving them blow jobs to get out of mission sex" He shrugged "I've been through worse and the main difference is I _wanted_ to do that"

Ibiki's eyes softened with understanding while the big hands reached to draw the smaller man closer. Iruka growled playfully and batted the hands away, sticking his tongue out when the other man rose a brow, before grabbing of the lube Ibiki had dropped on the bed earlier and popped off the cap.

Ibiki rose up and reached for the chuunin again, hand extended to take the bottle from the slender ones. "Here Iruka, I'll do tha-"

An impish but arousing smile was his answer as Iruka gently pushed Ibiki's hands away again before coating his own with lube

Ibiki's eyes widened when Iruka rose up onto his knees and slipped a slick finger inside himself. One quickly becoming two, the younger man hissing when he began to scissor himself, the chocolate coloured orbs never leaving the Jounin's shocked and lust filled eyes as a third was added, Iruka biting at his lip to hold back a moan when he brushed his prostate.

A glance down at Ibiki's hard cock had him blushing all over again before he added a fourth finger, watching as Ibiki's shock faded to a smug grin.

He was tempted to tell the older man to grow up but decided against it – there were too many dirty come backs.

Slipping his fingers out Iruka reached for the discarded lube and coated his hand again before moving to prepare the Jounin, touching the other man with teasing strokes as he slicked the thick member.

Deeming them both ready Iruka tossed the tube away and rose up on his knees to position himself, Ibiki's hands came up to grab the dark hips, steadying the smaller man.

"Go whatever pace you want ok? Don't do something just for – AH!"

Iruka glared at the older man and lowered himself down on the others cock in one swift movement watching gleefully as Ibiki's head fell back against the bed with a soft 'thwack' the big man's breathing quickly becoming shallow and fast.

"D-damn you, you didn't have to – oh gods"

Iruka's grin faded and he moaned when he felt the thick member twitch inside of him. There was still a small burn of pain despite the extra preparation but it was easily brushed aside; he let his head fall back, revel in the almost overwhelming feeling of being completely filled – Kami Ibiki was big.

Very slowly Iruka began to move, the large hands tightening their grip on the slender hips as he rose up till Ibiki was almost all the way out. Iruka paused, took in a deep breath and slid back quickly, making them both moan at the feeling.

He repeated the movement again, and again, picking up speed and force. Moaning Ibiki began to buck his hips, lust glazed eyes never leaving the small face while Iruka's head rolled back and a loud keen escaped his throat as his prostate was mercilessly abused.

Ibiki's breathing picked up and he growled low in the back of his throat "gods Iruka- nuh- so-fucking- beautiful"

Iruka whimpered, pulsing back to meet the hard thrusts, he couldn't seem to remember how to form words so he just let Ibiki's deep, husky voice wash over him, moaning when a large hand slid from his hip to fist his painfully hard cock, pumping it in time with the increasingly hard thrusts.

Iruka arched his back, a familiar heat building in the base of his stomach "I-biki, I'm – clo- Ahh!"

Ibiki groaned in response to the garbed words as he reached up and hooked a hand around the dark neck, pulling the chuunin forward and down until he could claim the small mouth with his own. Iruka moaned into the kiss; hand on his member picked up speed, a moment later he came hard, arching back, the room echoing with his pleasured cry.

Through the haze of the bliss Iruka felt the older man shudder, thrusting once more and yelling his name before he felt a thick heat fill him and he slumped bonelessly onto the broad form of the Jounin.

They lay still, both panting for air in the hot dark room when Ibiki's breathless chuckle broke the quiet.

"You know Iruka, you never cease to amaze and surprise me"

"I'll take that as a compliment" Iruka grinned sleepily when Ibiki chuckled again before the thick arms came up to wrap around the slender body and gently eased both of them into a seated position.

"Biki?" the dark chocolate eyes reopened with effort and Iruka found himself staring at the deep scar that ran down the side of the interrogator's neck. Ibiki shifted again, drawing them to the edge of the bed.

"Shh, ok if I use the shower?"

Iruka's hazy and sleepy mind took moment to comprehend the soft words but when it did he hummed in answer and tried to untangle himself from Ibiki so the other man could get up. Ibiki however just smiled and stood, picking the smaller man up as he did.

Slowly he headed to the bathroom; the chuunin's lithe form loose and unresisting in the big man's arms as Ibiki flicked the light switch on using his elbow, filling the small room with bright yellow light before he moved to the tub and set Iruka down, climbing in himself and sliding the glass screen shut.

Iruka hummed sleepily as he reached up and grabbed the soap, passing it up to the older man while he stayed in his comfy spot on the porcelain floor of the tub. He was in no hurry to try standing, not after that and thankfully Ibiki seemed to understand this; though Iruka did wish the Jounin would stop looking so damn smug.

Walking was going to hurt in the morning, damn Jounin.

Iruka quickly repressed the urge to burst out laughing at that last thought, instead he reached up and took the soap back from Ibiki before moving the wash the older man's legs, enjoying it when the black eyes fluttered close when he brushed against the insides of the thick thighs gently.

"Keep doing that Iruka and you'll end up against the wall"

Iruka grinned but moved down, behaving himself as he washed the scarred calves. As fun as it would be he really didn't think he could take another round, not without completely losing the ability to walk, and he had classes tomorrow.

Ibiki grinned and Iruka had the feeling the Jounin knew exactly what had just gone through his mind, he mock glared, causing the older man to laugh before he knelt and took the soap from the small hands.

Ibiki's eyes wondered as he washed the slender body, Iruka could see the black orbs stopping every time they found a scar and he sighed. He had quite a few; at least for his age and rank, the number was above average.

One of the Jounin's big hands took his and Iruka watched as the pale scars that criss-crossed the back of his hands and the fingers were examined.

"Are these wire scars?"

Iruka nodded, leaning back until he could rest his head against the cool tile of the shower wall "When I was thirteen and between sensei's I got the brilliant idea that I would teach myself how to use trap wire"

The way Ibiki's eyes widened said it all "I know, I know. Trap wire when used without skill or supervision could very well take off fingers, or the whole hand, I almost learnt that the hard way. Anyway, I was caught practicing by Kosuke-san, needless to say he wasn't too pleased, though now I know he was just scared. He made me promise not to try it on my own again and made me stew. I also think that after he may have gone to the Hokage and told him he should keep an eye on some of the older Genin, so we didn't try 'stupid things' again."

Ibiki shook his head in amazement "You must have been a handful, no doubt"

"Your saying I'm not anymore?"

That made the Jounin grin as he reached up and turned off the water before nabbing a towel from the hook on the wall and using it to dry them both. Then gathering the younger man into his arms again he headed back to the bed, setting Iruka down before climbing in next to him and pulling the covers over them.

Iruka sighed happily as he curled up against the older man, smiling when Ibiki's arms wrapped around his waist and slid under his neck, pillowing his head on a hard bicep . Iruka found he didn't mind as his previous sleepily state returned, aided by the way and calloused fingers were tracing patterns over his back.

It was nice, the whole evening had been wonderful, though Iruka wasn't about to propose to the Jounin or anything he could still say with complete certainty that he enjoyed being with Ibiki. Whither or not it went any farther – well, Iruka decided to leave that to Ibiki.

If Ibiki want to be part of his life in that way, Iruka would never say no, but if the Jounin decided after tonight to take a step back and be friends – he would accept that too. He had a suspicion that the older man had been out of his comfort zone, at least for part of the night and while Iruka wasn't sure whether it was because the Jounin didn't date very much or some other reason he wasn't going to push Ibiki.

Soft caresses to the side of his face pulled Iruka from his sleepy musing, Ibiki's rough fingertip traced along the edge of his scar gently and he hummed deep in his throat. That felt nice, people didn't touch his facial scar – ever – they probably thought he wouldn't allow it but he really didn't mind, he'd had the scar for too long, he was too used to it for it to be a big deal.

He could almost feel Ibiki's smile as he purred happily and leaned into the touch, snuggling closer to the larger body as he did.

"You were four years old right?"

The dark eyes opened slowly "What?"

Ibiki shifted onto his back, moving the chuunin with him so Iruka was half laying across the broad chest, half still curled in the big arms "When you got the scar" the calloused thumb went back to gently tracing the deep mark "You were four years old, your Father brought you in"

Iruka blinked "Ya, how did you know?"

"I was in the hospital waiting room, they'd called me in because my mother had come in and was in bad shape. The waiting room as nearly empty and Idate had fallen sleep in my lap, no one was really paying attention to either of us when he came rushing it, I remember him yelling for help so loud that Idate and probably half the hospital woke up. He was soaking wet and plainly had been crying, didn't know it was you at the time but I remember him passing you over to the nurse who started panicking when she saw you, few minute's late she's rushed away down a hall with him following and it was all quiet again – well, except for Idate, he kept pestering me, wanting to know what had happened"

Iruka stayed silent, staring into the dark while he waited for the question he knew was coming.

"I remember the nurse asking what had happened before she rushed off, never heard the answer though I got the impression he didn't what to tell"

"He didn't"

Iruka sighed and tilted his head up so he could see the other's scarred face "Most people think it was a training accident, others were told I had gotten into my Father's vest and cut myself. For his sake I've never said different"

Ibiki remained silent and Iruka had the feeling he would let it go if he really wanted, but strangely he found that he didn't mind telling.

"The truth is – he gave me the scar"

The sharp intake of air was the only sign of Ibiki's surprise and Iruka smiled ruefully.

"My Mother was a week late coming home from a mission and despite the twisted start to their marriage he really did love her. They'd told him that afternoon that if she wasn't back by the end of the month they would start with the plans of a funeral and the carving of her name on the memorial. I think he had tried to drink off the depression but when it didn't work he had come home and gone to the dojo to tire himself out. Since I was four I didn't really understand any of it, just that Mom wasn't there and Father was upset; thinking with the logic one possess at that age I had wanted to cheer him up. Can't remember just what I had wanted anymore – I think I had set up some sort of game or something – but when I'd gone out and asked him to come in he said no and yelled at me to leave, being the stubborn little four year old I was I didn't listen and had gone up to pull on his arm. I guess he was just at his wits end so when I touched him he yelled at me again and struck out – just to warn me I think, but he forgot he was still wearing the knuckle blade's he fought with so what would have been a more or less gentle back hand ended up slicing a line across my face."

Iruka sighed and tucked his legs in, shifting himself into a more comfortable position against Ibiki's broad form "Don't remember much after, just walking up in my bed at home, Father was sleep on the floor next to me and my face was covered in bandages and stung like mad. Later he made me breakfast and avoided looking at me while he asked if I 'could refrain from telling mommy' being four, I wasn't really mad at him – confused and hurt – but not mad. Mother ended up coming home two days later and was told the vest story, she still yelled at him for leaving his gear where I could get at it but that was the end of it.  
>And even after all these years I never really thought I had to change the story."<p>

Ibiki remained silent for a long time before drawing in a breath "And you've never hated him? For any of it?"

Iruka smiled to himself "He made a lot of mistakes, but he loved us, both of us and I guess the main point is that he never stopped trying to get it right. There is no such thing as a perfect person, but he could have just given up and he didn't, and that's what I really try to remember"

Ibiki lapsed into silence again, then shook his head as if amazed "You have every right to hate him"

"Hate is a petty useless emotion that brings nothing to this world but self-serving pain. Hating would do nothing but make me miserable and tarnish that good memories I have of him. People say it's hard to forgive, but I like to think it's harder to live forever in anger"

Iruka's voice had dipped in volume again as sleep began to coax again. Sighing he nuzzled his head against the strong shoulder before relaxing back down and letting the dark close in over him as Ibiki rolled onto his side and tucked the small form closer against his, the deep voice echoing through his mind once more.

"Beautiful"

XoX

***is slightly dazed***

**Kami I'm sorry for that… but THEY WOULDN'T SHUT UP! Honestly Ruka you need to stop talking!**

**All the names have some meaning in Japanese but once again I can't remember ( no, Son'u means hurt and Buta means pig. Tensai and Shindo are both words for Genius/prodigy and Shizekana was one word that I split in two) and Kosuke – for those of you who don't remember – is the One Thousand Year old Genin. I thought he would be good one to tell Iruka off.**

**Well, setting aside the awful (though I hope it wasn't too terrible) chapter, the storys almost at an end. Amazing right? Two more chapters left…I think. Really I shouldn't be saying anything, it's not like my mind ever does what I want anyway…**


	10. A Serious Problem

**What? a new chapter already? yes, yes I know, try not to faint.  
><strong>

**10****th**** chapter! Wootness! (No, that is not a word, and no, I do not care) first off, I would like to thank my guest reviewers, I wish I would PM you guys but it means a lot that you'd leave me a review regardless.**

**Second, I am ****_sssssoooo_**** nervous about how people will react to the end of this story (which will be the next chapter) honestly, the last time I was this scared was when I was standing on top of a long drop with a pitiful 'stretchy' string attached to me and someone was yelling "JUMP!YOU'LL BE FINE! TRUST ME!" -_- **

**Hum, anywho…..on with the story!**

**(Just so you know, all the quotes are things I can see Iruka saying to someone in the chapter – their also sorta an over view for the chap, if you squint.)**

XoX

_If Tylenol, Duct tape and a Band Aid can't fix it  
>you have a serious problem.<em>

XoX

Iruka snapped awake, his mental alarm clock that all teachers develop after the first, horror filled day they are late for class was blaring franticly. It was loud in his head and kinda sounded like a bullhorn, which meant-

_7:20, 45 minutes till I'm late and the world ends._

All of this registered with in seconds of the chuunin waking up, and while his mind was very good at processing the normal 'SHIT I'M GOING TO BE LATE' routine fluidly and in blinding speed there was one small detail that had been forgotten – but was reviled when Iruka moved to jump out of bed and began he customary 'scramble around the apartment in a complete lack of the organisation and calm-ness I usually pride myself in cause I'm going to be late damn it'.

Iruka had forgotten about Ibiki.

Needless to say the jumping out of bed didn't go to well; in fact, the chuunin didn't even manage to move more than an inch, if that, before he knocked all the air out of his lungs when he collided with the steel taught arms that were wrapped tightly around his waist and chest.

Ibiki grumbled sleepily in protest to the movement and tightened his grip before rolling to the side slightly, dragging the chunnin with him. Iruka struggled, desperately trying to break free from the iron welded death grip, conscious all the while of the precious seconds as they slipped away.

"Nuh! Biki! Wake up!" Iruka shoved at the entrapping arms while he wiggled his body down, hoping he would be able to slip out from under them when Ibiki sighed and flipped them so the smaller man was not only pinned under the strong arms but one solid thigh and the top part of the Jounin's broad torso too.

"Biki!"

The Jounin grumbled but cracked an eye open, the sleepy black orb gazing down at the chuunin hazily.

"w'at?"

Iruka glared and pushed against the solid chest "Let me up"

"W'y?"

Iruka groaned and pushed harder, realizing that there was no way he was actually going to be able to move the big man – not without a pulley system.

"Going- to be – late. Horrifying consequences, end of the world. Let go"

Iruka could feel himself fighting tears, though he wasn't sure if they were from the pure (futile) physical strain of him trying to _lift_ Ibiki (not one of his brightest idea's granted but a panicked soul does strange things) or from the horrifying images his mind was supplying of what his class room would look like if he was even to minute late walking through the door the first day back after a long weekend.

"World ending consequences? You deserve a raise if that's true"

"Despite the fact that it is true – Move!"

Ibiki just chuckled "But your warm and this is comfy"

"I can't feel my legs and in thirty five minutes my classroom will be on the moon!"

"Your very loud in the mornings, you know that?"

Iruka snorted "You sound like Genma. Now please let me up"

Ibiki huffed but rolled to the side, freeing the chuunin who shot out of the bed, grabbed a uniform and was in the bathroom in a matter of seconds, leaving behind a very amused Ibiki who took his sweet time getting up and dressing while he listened to the various bangs and swears that were coming from the bathroom.

Iruka emerged five minutes later, looking very put together – nothing like his real state of mind – and dashed for the kitchen yelling "What do you like on toast?" over his shoulder.

Grabbing some slices of bread he tossed them in the toaster then ran to the fridge to find the yogurt and oranges.

"You don't have to make me breakfast if your running late Iruka"

Iruka glanced over at Ibiki who had just exited the bedroom, dress shirt and skull cap both held loosely in one hand as the big man walked over to the edge of the small corner kitchen, an amused smile of the thin lips.

"Nah, its fine, I have to make something anyway or Naruto will go and eat ramen for breakfast again, this way, he'll actually start the day with nutrition"

"Naruto?" Ibiki took a step into the kitchen and peered into the toaster "Ah, yes, that explains the seven pieces of toast"

Iruka laughed then swore when he saw his toaster was once again burning the food "Damn this thing!" quickly he grabbed a fork and began slipping the toast from the appliance while Ibiki retreated to the other side of the counter, where he stood by the row of bar stools there as he watched the chuunin move around the kitchen.

"Just Naruto though? No Raidou or Anko?"

Iruka didn't look up from where he was spreading bright orange and red jam over the toast with practiced ease, only taking two swipes of the knife to fully coat the bread before picking the next piece.

"No, Rai's out same as Gen and Anko only comes over now when Gai's out or if he suggests it – though when that happens he insists on helping me cook and we always end up making a buffet that feeds Naruto and Genma for the next week"

Ibiki's chuckle at the story was cut short when there was a loud 'BANG' from the hall and the newly fixed door shook on its hinges. Iruka glared at the wood frame for a moment then rolled his eyes when a moan came drifting in from the outside hall.

"ITS LOCKED NARUTO!"

There was another whimper before the pitiful answer of "Ya, I kinda figured that out" came floating back from the crack at the base of the door.

Still grinning Iruka placed a full plate in front of Ibiki who nodded in thanks before walking over the open the door, revealing the sad and bruised looking young man who was crumpled on the floor, nursing his head.

"How many time's will you do that until you remember the door is locked in the morning!" reaching down a hand Iruka helped his blond brother up before heading back to the kitchen and sliding the Jinkuurki's plate forward.

Naruto crawled forward until he could drag himself into his stool, still nursing his slowly bruising body while he started wolfing down the four pieces of marmalade toast, cinnamon apples and yogurt, Ibiki watching the scene with intrigued fascination when it suddenly dawned on the 20 year olds mind.

"NUH!" the blond man whirled around, inhaling the food in his mouth as he did. After a brief coughing fit the Jinkuurki quickly regained his composure and stood, stool falling backwards behind him as he raised a finger, pointing at the scarred Jounin while he waved his arm up and down.

"YYYOOOUU! WHAT ARE YOU- HOW ARE YOU- WHY ARE _YOU_ HERE?!"

An empty container of orange juice hitting the side of the whiskered face put a stop to the blonds rant.

"Ow! Nii-san!"

Iruka glared at his younger brother who was staring at him with shock "Don't 'Nii-san' me, what have I said about yelling this early in the morning"

"But- but" the arm began waving again, once more pointing at Ibiki who was still leaning calmly against the counter, the expression on his face clearly stating the Jounin didn't know if he should be amused or insulted by the whole scene.

"But it's Creepy Scar Dude! What is Creepy Scar Dude doing here?"

"NARUTO!"

Iruka threw the lid to the jam container at the blond before glancing over at Ibiki whose face had taken a turn for the 'insulted' side. The chuunin gave the bigger man an apologetic smile.

"Sorry Biki, on the upside, blondy here only ever nicknames people who stick out in his mind"

Ibiki brow rose and Iruka found himself grinning "Would you prefer Bushy Eyebrow? Bushier Eyebrow Sensei? Or Scary Eye Guy?"

By now Naruto seemed to have realized his slip and was staring meekly at the floor – until his brown eyed brother began reciting all the nicknames he'd ever invented out to the scarred Jounin, who looked like he was fighting a grin.

"Nii-san!"

"Ah, Perverted Hermit, Octopops, of course there's Kakashi-san with Idiot-Sensei or Cyclops-Sensei – depending on the mood – let me see, Weird Hair Girl, Chimney Guy. Oh! And my personal favorite; Pink Flow-Mff!"

Iruka's little speech was cut off when the blond let out an embarrassed wail and launched himself onto the brunet, knocking all the air out of him and making him topple to the floor – laughing hysterically.

"I Told You That In Confidence!"

Iruka only laughed harder as Naruto's protest rented through the house – likely waking the neighbors five doors down.

"Your whole family seems to be very loud"

Iruka glanced up at the clearly amused Ibiki from his position on the floor. The big man was grinning down at the two brothers, poorly suppressed laugher dancing in the black eyes as he watched Naruto drag himself up while the chuunin smiled sheepishly

"Ya, we're a little loud – least between me Naru, Gen and Anko we can drive poor Rai batty"

Naruto snorted in amusement while he retreated to his plate of food, once again sending himself into a coughing fit when he inhaled his toast.

Iruka chuckled to himself while he stirred honey into his tea cup, glancing lazily at the clock before doing a double take when he saw the time.

"SHIT!"

Flailing he rushed into the den and snagged his bag before dashing back to the kitchen and grabbing his tea and a piece of toast. Not really aware of the world around him Iruka wouldn't realize until later that he had grabbed _both _men in a quick one armed hug before dashing out of the place like he was pursed, yelling "See you later" over his shoulder.

Of course when he _did_ remember this you probably could have roasted a marshmallow over his mortified blush.

Hopefully Ibiki had found it amusing and not weird…

XoX

_Stupid, freaking, fucking GREEN! And of _course_ it's non-wash out, vibrant and STUCK IN MY HAIR!_

Kakashi was not having a good day.

And not just because he was still stuck wearing the most uncomfortable piece of clothing he'd ever had to wear or because he still had the urge to throw up every time his hair came into view or that he had woken up with his entire torso bruised and in pain – though these things did wonders in adding to the Jounin's current terrible mood.

No, most of it was due to the awful pounding his brain as his genius mind walked itself in circles, coming to the same conclusion each and every time only to have Kakashi snarl to himself that it couldn't be right and try to puzzle through it again.

Going through everything that had happened over the past two months or more as he desperately tried to find the person who had done this; a person who was obviously from the village, was skilled, crafty and smart, who was loyal enough and _right_ enough to get Gai to help them and above all –

He was trying to find a person to blame – that _wasn't_ one very likable chuunin sensei.

It couldn't have been, he wouldn't believe it, because if it was Iruka then, then-

Then it meant he had really hurt the younger man.

Kakashi groaned and collapsed back on the couch, arm thrown over his eyes as he when through the information for the hundredth time.

Same end.

Frustrated Kakashi stood back up and began pacing across the room.

He knew the chuunin was fully _capable, _he'd heard the stories and Iruka was certainly skilled enough to pull it off – but that wasn't the mental black he was struggling with. If it had been Iruka; why? What had he done? The chuunin had been willing to sleep with him so - just what small detail was he overlooking that was the key to why Iruka hated him?

Snarling Kakashi stormed to the bedroom and grabbed a hat and the trench coat he hadn't been able to wear earlier, pulling both on as he headed out the door and down the street to the Hokage's tower.

XoX

Iruka groaned and leaned over his desk, exhausted. It had been a long morning, starting with him rushing in a minute and a half after the newest Naruto/Konohamaru copy, Kiji, had entered the room (Iruka always shuddered when he thought of one of the two – or heaven forbid – both of them had kids of their own and handed him blood reincarnations to deal with and not the just the copy-cats)

Even a minute of freedom was never a good start to Iruka's day. Granted he wasn't completely late and his classroom still existed more or less the way it had been the previous Friday, but giving the demonic species known as his students even a centimeter was asking for pain.

Knowing he was already flustered, Kiji had pushed his sensei's limits like never dared before; though Iruka was proud to say he had impressed himself with the amount of control he had exercised – only yelling for half the day - his voice was sore but not gone, meaning he still had plenty saved up for the Mission Room later.

Sighing he stood, slowly collecting papers and putting away supplies before grabbing his bag and heading for the door, giving the scorched clay now permanently stuck to the classroom ceiling one last heated glare as he slipped out.

Walking the streets of Konoha was always entertaining, watching the people as they went about, buying, selling, chatting and gossiping, people watching was not only a fun pass time, it was educational – least that's what his Mother had always said.

Quietly he watched the civilians going through their lives happily, though it was easy to tell the ones that lived in the village from the visitors, who flinched slightly at the sight and fast movements of the mingling ninja walking the streets, the residents had long grown used to the more powerful auras. There were many shinobi strolling along the streets and mixing with the market crowd; the bight and excitable Genin, dragging (or being dragged) their friends and teammates along, calling out loudly at the various colours and goods that lined the busy streets. The more somber but still defiantly grinning Chuunin walking alone or with a friend, voices more hushed as they maneuvered familiar territory and of course the Jounin – all different, all the same – traveling in tight packs or slinking along by themselves, all talking without really having to speak, eyes constantly roving, watching, processing without end, smiles same as the Chuunin – grim but still present, a show of survival in the knowledge of how cruel the world really was and a acceptance at how beautiful is was at the same time.

The walk passed quickly this way as he slipped through the crowds unnoticed by shinobi and civilians both, no one called greetings out to the sensei as he went passed, and he was fine with that, he loved being 'Iruka-sensei' but sometimes he just wanted to be left alone.

Coming up to the Mission Room doors he entered silently, waiting until a fair haired chuunin exited and slipped in through the slowly closing door.

The Mission room was fairly calm, people chatted in low tones, their voices blending with the shuffling of paper, quiet scratching of writing and the dull thud of stamps. Lines were formed and they were moving along nicely, the greetings between the desk workers and waiting nin civil, polite and sincere.

Still no one paid him mind as he slipped around to his chair and took his place, only gaining attention once his bag hit the floor with a quiet 'thump' – causing Iwashi and the three ninja in the line in front of him to jump and stare at the chuunin in confusion.

"Holy hell, where did you come from!?" Iwashi stared wide eyed at his friend, the stamp in his left hand falling to the desk with a clatter. The three Jounin standing in the line seemingly agreed with the question as they shift forward slightly, small twitches of their eyes and hands the only betrayal of their curiosity.

"The door Washi"

The other chuunin glared while the Jounin showed various levels of amusement and exasperation.

"Yes, I realize that, but when? I didn't see or sense you come in. Did you lock your chakra again?"

Iruka laughed "No, not this time, just had one of the longer days at school – didn't want to greet every other person on the way here is all, sorry if I startled you"

Iwashi's face softened at that as he reached out to retrieve his stamp. All of the long-time desk workers knew of Iruka's occasional 'I don't want to exist right now' moments that occurred after a particularly trying day at the Academy or when one of his family were in the hospital. The result usually ending with Iruka shrinking into himself so that his chakra was harder to sense.

The waiting Jounin however still looked mildly intrigued and Iruka found himself fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He found very annoying that most Jounin believed that no chuunin would have skills on par with theirs – it was downright idiotic really – he'd been a chuunin 12 years and what? They thought he'd stopped training completely? He still practiced, just not with the thought of a promotion in mind, he sparred with Genma, Rai and Anko all the time and even if he wasn't aiming to reach the top he still always tried to make himself better.

Iruka brushed aside his musing when the line in front of Iwashi spilt in half and moved to stand in front of him while the chuunin he was there to relieve finished up his work and headed off, waving at the other workers as he slipped out.

Time passed pleasantly for an hour or so, the lines moving along and no one was being overly loud or annoying among the waiting shinobi. Iruka liked times like this, when everyone coming through the doors was met with a quiet and peaceful welcome home – no fireworks, no fist sights, no yelling, no off key singing.

He found the chuunin and Jounin usually left more relaxed and sane this way.

Slowly the afternoon stream of returning ninja receded to a trickle until no one had walked through the door for a good 12 minutes – the signal the desk workers were home free for the time being (it is a well-known hidden fact – meaning everybody _knows_ but very few have ever actually _seen_ it - that the desk workers are masters at the 'goof off then look like nothing was happening' their even better at it than the Jounin as they don't break things, and even if they do no one will ever find out)

Books were pulled from desk drawers, two friends seated on opposite sides of the room began tossing a ball – making it sail over the ceiling fan each time – while someone settled down for a nap and everyone else began chatting.

Iwashi instantly whipped around, grabbing onto the smaller brunettes arm with an exited "Did you hear!?" causing Iruka to tilt his head in question, Iwashi wasn't usually the gossip so whatever had him hyped must be good.

"Hear what? Despite knowing just a bit too much about whose cute, crush worthy or a 'total loser' by seven year old standers the gossip of older more course people alludes me"

Iwashi snorted then shook his head "Well then let me fill you in. Yesterday three of the most uppity Jounin in the existence of this village were taken down about a half a dozen pegs. By who is still unknown, but this person must be brilliant"

Iruka leaned forward, fringing innocent interest while snickering madly in his mind "Ya? What happened?"

"Well, first off; Aoba. Not sure how but the guy is attracting cats like his a fresh piece of fish – he can't get rid of them, he even ran to the Inuzuka's place in an attempt to lose them but the sheer number of felines overwhelmed the dogs and Tsume sent him packing. I heard he settled for hiding in the Jounin lounge closet, the cats clawing at the door but unable to get in"

Iruka laughed out loud at that, gaining surprised grins from the other chuunin around the room "Poor Tsume, getting harassed by cats. Who else got hit?"

Iwashi grinned, obviously very happy the sensei was getting story telling like this – Iruka didn't usually enjoy gossip so finding something he would listen to was an achievement of sorts "Well, then there was Juka Rida – whole load of shit went down with him. You were in mission room yesterday right?"

Iruka nodded, wondering just what else had happened to the Jounin.

"From what I heard, after the 'blame everyone I can' for whatever had happened to his house it came out – the guys a total bastard, not to mention a slut and a cheat"

Iruka blinked in surprise "Slut? Cheat? What do you mean?"

"Well, first thing, the guys been gossiping about mission sex – watch yourself about that, I think your one of the people he talked about – anyway, it also turns out the guys _engaged_, well, was "

Iruka started "E-Engaged? You're serious?"

Iwashi nodded "Sad isn't it? A chuunin from a lower Hyuuga family – absolutely wonderful girl, bout as sweet as you could find and skilled – they'd been engaged half a year, she wanted to wait till she'd passed the Jounin test to get married; like it's gonna happen now, Rida's been picking up lays almost every night for the past year or longer – not to mention the mission sex – he hadn't even told any of his friends he was engaged and only ever wore the ring around her. Anyway, this all came out and now _Harashi_ is getting involved, doesn't matter she's from lower family he's taking it as a direct insult to him that someone would treat a Hyuuga like this. Then when Rida tried to skip all the drama and hide in his apartment he discovered his was locked out"

Iruka grinned – so it had worked "Locked out? What kind or shinobi locks themself out? I've forgotten my keys before sure but you just break in through the window, no bigy"

Iwashi rolled his eyes at the smaller man "Ya I know, but you can break into Genma-san's house when it's in lockdown cause he forgets to pay rent, unfortunately us mere mortals sometimes run afoul of poor planning"

Iruka tilted his head to the side, confused "Whatcha talking bout?"

"Most ninja set their own traps so that if something does happen they can take them down easy. _Most _ninja use common sense, Rida however was thinking when the show off part of his brain"

"How so?"

"You set the traps for most of your friend's houses right? For Genma-san and Anko-san?"

Iruka nodded "It's not that uncommon of a thing to do either"

"Right, but Rida it seems had asked an ANBU friend to trap his house – to 'impress' the underlings if you would – of course the problem here is the traps are above Rida's ability to disarm so-"

"He can't get inside" Iruka whispered, a numb feeling slowly filling his body, Iwashi however simply winked, looking absolutely pleased at how the younger man was reacting to the story.

"Right, and the friend is out of village at the moment so he's doubly screwed"

Iruka let his gaze fall to the table, shock coursing through his body. ANBU traps? Those had been _ANBU traps_? It couldn't have-

Iruka snapped up when he realized Iwashi was still talking and had said the name 'Kakashi'

"Wait! I'm sorry I missed that"

Iwashi glanced at him but happily repeated he sentence "I said; the third ninja who seemed to be part of the whole thing was Kakashi. He was wearing Gai's clothes and spent the whole day with the other man, he was also wearing a hat so something must have been up with that strange hair of his - so the general speculation is he's somehow involved too or he finally went off the deep end and decided to dress for the occasion. Either way it was hysterical."

Iruka grinned, pleased with himself when it didn't turn smug "So, what's happening now? What are they doing?"

Iwashi hummed thoughtfully for a moment "Well, Aoba might still be in the closet, though someone said they saw him sprinting for the Hokages tower a while ago, so he might be going for help. The others I don't know"

"I do"

Looking up Iruka realized that most of the room seemed to have moved in and had been listening to their talk; the one who had spoken was a young man – recently promoted chuunin – who looked rather heady at the fact the older chuunin's focus was switched to him.

"Rida's cowering at the Hokage's tower – I saw him a while ago when I was delivering files – and one of my friends said she just saw Kakashi storming down the street, wearing a hat and a trench coat, heading in the same direction."

A special jounin across the room nodded "Ya, from what I heard all three of them are going after Tsunade. Aoba's on the verge of hysterics and one minute he's demanding to know who's responsible and the next he's begging for her to help figure out what's attracting the cats. Rida-san's ranting up a storm, blaming everything and everyone but himself, demanding funds to have a team of chuunin go in and unlock and repair his house, while cursing threats at whoever did it. Kakashi-sama isn't being too bad, all he wants is some 'professional assistance' in getting what ever happened to him off" the Tsubuki snorted "the guy can't ask for help without using big words, though he's the only one who's being remotely polite and respectful – I think Tsunade-sama is close to using the other two as punching bags"

Iruka and his fellow workers winced – as desk chuunin they probably knew the extent of the Godaime's strength better than anyone – but when everybody turned back to their work Iruka found himself extremely distracted.

When he'd set out for payback he hadn't intended for it to get dumped on Tsunade's head – mainly because he's never considered the possibility that they Jounin would be so disrespectful as to complain to her – he knew Kakashi being there was innocent enough, the number of time the mednin master had patched the Copycat up meant they had a semi close relationship, and from the sounds of it he was only asking for help in getting the clothes off and the dye out but the others –

They were pushing the bounds – though really Iruka didn't know why he was so shocked they were acting like this. Aoba would be out of his mind with confusion and Rida'd already proved he was a pompous dick.

Iruka sighed, trying to work out how he was going to fix this. He should release the jutsu's on Kakashi and Aoba, that would be a start – but how to get Rida off Tsunade's back was a small problem.

Also, how to get near any of them was an issue, you didn't just break into the Hokage tower after all – the last time he'd done that he'd been 17 and the ANBU had almost beheaded him before they recognized him.

The biggest thing was he had to touch Aoba to turn off the tags and Kakashi need a special formula to wash the dye out – and though he didn't give a flying hoot about Rida he was the only one who knew where the keys were. The more he thought it through the fewer options there seemed to be, until he was left with only one.

He was going to have to fess up.

Not very appealing as he'd never been caught before – ever – well, only when Anko was with him, but as they seemed to have the talent for destroying things without even trying when together that was to be expected.

He didn't want to do it but at least the look on Rida's face would be worth it.

He glanced up at the clock, noting he had around fifteen minutes left in his shift; that worked. He would head over to Hokage Tower – stopping at Rida's place first to get the morons keys –then try to explain the whole thing to Tsunade – though that most likely wouldn't be too hard, she liked him and had nothing against the torture of Jounin if it was deserved –get the jutsu's off of Aoba and Kakashi, flip Rida off, then go home to pack a bag and head over to Ko and Izumo's.

Or, something along those lines.

"Oh hey, I forgot"

Iruka turned back to look at Iwashi who was staring at him curiously.

"Yes Washi?"

The older chuunin leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head, one brow raised as if he was trying to decide the wisdom of his next question.

"Were you out with Ibiki yesterday?"

Iruka tilted his head "Ya, why?"

"Was it a date or something?"

Iruka couldn't have stopped the blush even if he'd tried "Uuhh, sorta? He came over for dinner. Is that a problem?"

Iwashi blinked in surprise then held his hand out in a sign of peace "No! no, it's fine, I was just a bit surprised when I heard some Jounin talking about him 'being dragged around by the sensei' just wanted to know if it was true or just more made-up drabble"

"Mmm, no, he helped me with some groceries, if I was dragging it's a force of habit; Anko's worse than a kid and you have to keep firm hold on her or she wonders, guess I kinda do it automatically"

Iwashi chuckled, knowing full well of the sibling's strange relationship. "Ya that makes more sense. Though to be honest, I thought Ibiki was straight"

Iruka blinked "Really? Why?"

"Well, I know he _sleeps_ with guys on occasion but that's pretty much everyone. We ninja aren't very picky when it comes to physical pleasure but the T&I staff were sure he swung predominately the other way"

"T&I staff? Are you talking about the guys Anko gets smashed at her karaoke every week?"

"Ya them. They came in here a couple nights ago, saying a lot of stuff I _probably_ shouldn't have heard but anyway, one of them was ranting about how 'Ibiki-sama' was obsessed with some cute curly haired kounichi that works at the academy. Saying the he always walks past the school in the morning and goes to the tea shop at the same time as her. Stuff like that you know?"

_Curly haired sensei – they mean Suzume-chan._

Iwashi scratched at his chin thoughtfully, not really noticing the his audience had zoned out "Not sure if there's anything true behind it, but that's why I was so surprised when I heard" the older chuunin shrugged and went back to the files in front of him, leaving the now very distracted sensei to his thoughts.

_So what if I was an attempt to forget Suzume? I can see him liking her, but what does it mean?_

_It means you're both doing the exact samething – trying to forget the person you really like by settling for someone you can like_. Iruka frowned; he hated it when his lecturing side was right.

Iruka sighed; he'd have to talk to Ibiki, if Iwashi was right it was unfair for the both of them – also if what had been said was true Ibiki did have a chance with Suzume. Though he was in no way playing matchmaker – not after last time.

A chorus of greeting alerted Iruka to the incoming change of shift, glancing up he grinned at the other chuunin and Jounin – none of them looked happy with the prospect of having the night shift.

Stacking up his papers Iruka slipped everything back into his bag, calling good night to Iwashi as he headed out the door. Reaching the street he glanced around then ducked down an alley way, starting toward the Jounin complex – time to key Rida's keys.

XoX

The soft tinkle of metal against metal chimed softly as Iruka flipped a set of keys in the air and caught them smoothly before tucking them into his pocket.

The trip into Rida's place had been quick, though he had paused briefly to take a closer look at the traps he'd brushed aside on the last visit – Iwashi had been right, they _were_ high level, there just wasn't many of them in the house (which was in terrible shape Iruka was pleased to note)

He was still a little dazed to realize this but at any rate he would believe it now when people told him he was good with traps. He grinned, it was cool actually – he could do ANBU level traps.

That thought put an extra little jaunt in his step as he slipped through the alleys, heading toward the Hokage's Tower.

Scrambling up the side of the building Iruka carefully pried open a window and slipped in, landing in the middle of an empty hallway. He ducked to the side when he heard voices heading his way then paused when he recognized the high pitched whine that was followed by a stern rebuke.

"Hello Konohamaru"

Iruka straightened up just when the boy and his captain came around the corner, the effect was wonderful.

Konohamaru shrieked and jumped backward into Moegi, who yelled and punched him in the head, sending the poor boy to the floor with a thump. Ebisu's reaction was just as good, the bespecled man had been the one closet to Iruka when they walked passed, but instead of punching out like he'd expected Iruka was amused when the other man yelped and flipped backward as well, grabbing on to Udon and shoving the teen behind him as he passed, a kunai leaving his hand in blinding speed.

Iruka quickly reached out a hand and deftly caught the sharp projectile before it could hit him, the small, care-free smile never slipping from his face.

"This yours?"

The weapon was tossed back to hit the wall by the other man's head, making Ebtsu start then scratch at the back of his head sheepishly, though the special jounin made no sign that he planned on apologising – Iruka didn't expect him too, Ebisu was too proud for his own good sometimes.

Brushing this thought aside Iruka turned his attention back to the three youths who were still in the various positions on the floor, against the wall or looking very put out. He fought back a laugh – all of them sixteen now, with Moegi being a new chuunin and still the three of them could cause chaos without even trying.

Moegi was the first to recognize him, she stopped yelling at the poor crumpled Konohamaru on the floor to turn to the person who had startled them – no doubt to apologise, or yell some more, Iruka wouldn't rule out either option at that point – when she tilted her head and stared at him.

"Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka nodded "Afternoon Moegi-chan, how have you been?"

The four ninja stared at him with various degrees of emotion. Konohamaru with something like exasperated respect, Udon seemed rather smug that his old sensei had pulled one on his captain and loudmouth teammate, Meogi seemed to be thinking something along the same lines of Udon while Ebisu was staring with a sort of stunned bewilderment

Though Iruka figured that made sense. He didn't fool around like that very often with people who didn't know about his impish side, and every time Ebisu had been told the stories of his 'unproven pranks' he dismissed them as made up gossip, designed to strike at 'the honorable sensei's reputation'

There were many people in the village, some of them refused to believe that Iruka could do anything deceptive or unruly – Ebisu was the leader of these people.

Still, the look of pure shock and confusion was so worth it.

"Sorry if I startled you, just got back from a mission?"

Konohamaru bounced up instantly at the question, a fiery light back in his eyes "Yup! I just took down a bandit camp with my awesome jutsu's! And- OWW!"

Moegi huffed as she sent the spiky haired teen to the floor once more "That is _not_ what happened! We saved your ass from getting torched after you knocked yourself out. And they're not your jutsu's either! Naruto-nii-chan was the one to show you!"

All of this was said with a terrifying glare on the freckled face before the young kounichi turned and smiled prettily "Now we going for tea while Konohamaru weeds Gimana-san's garden as punishment for _insulting the Hokage_"

Konohamaru flinched and shielded his head with his arms, the expected strike never came though as the female simply grabbed hold of the poor boys wrists and began to drag him away, calling a polite goodbye over her shoulder at her old sensei.

Konohamaru settled for looking down right miserable and calling out a "say hi to Boss for me" while Udon and Ebisu glanced at each other then took off after the Kounichi and her captive, leaving a very amused Iruka to walk off in the other direction, smiling to himself.

_Well, good to know Moegi's got her team under control._

The smile slipped from his face however when the bright red door to Tsunade's office came into view – time to do this, though he couldn't say he was looking forward to it.

Iruka paused outside of the office door and glanced at the two ANBU guards standing there.

"May I go in?"

The ANBU looked at each other than nodded, one of them even reaching out to open the door for him, Iruka gave him a small smile, he knew who it was, there was a scar on the hand holding the door that he had seen before when at the raman stand - where the man had been dragged to many times before - just like every other person who'd had the pleasure of training the blond Jinchuuiki.

Stepping shyly into the office Iruka approached his leaders desk cautiously, still nervous and dazed with what he was about to do – Anko would never let him live this down.

"Hokage-sama?"

The blond woman raised her head, her look of surprise quickly fading into a fond, but tired smile "Evening Iruka, is there something you want?"

Iruka blushed and ducked his head "Umm, well sort of, I kinda wanted to –talk with you"

Tsunade sighed "I don't mean to be rude Iruka but could you be quick? I have some issues involving three Jounin and a village in hysterics because of them to deal with, not to mention none of the brats are happy or pleasant to deal with"

Iruka flushed in shame, he hadn't meant for this to become Tsunade's problem "well, T-That's what I came to talk about Tsunade-sama"

The Hokage had gone back to looking over the papers on her desk, shuffling through them to find the right ones "oh? How so?"

"I did it"

**XoX**

***dramatic music plays while Rythum cackles evily on the floor***

**Jiraiya: you have mean issues, you know that? And why are you on the floor?**

**Ryth: its cooler. Hello my darlings! Hopefully nothing was too confusing in that, and if it was, Ignore It! **

**Jiraiya: I'm sorry people, she's in one of her moods.**

**Kakashi: ya, feel free to run for you lives any time now**

**Jiraiya: theres no shame in it, really.**

**Ryth: *pouts while glaring at the two men* you guys are mean. anyway, I'll post up the last chap when I have time - cherry season just started and by the end of two week's I just ****_know_**** my hands will be premnaitly red *huffs***

**(side note, the very last scene between Tsuande and Iruka was what started it all - this whole story from that one scene - that and a strange dream I had of some guy getting attacked by cats...)  
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	11. Words Don't Hurt'

**Hello freaky darlings! (That BTW is a quote from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I love Skinner)the cherry season is still going, just today was a day off, so I decided to be nice and get this out while I had the time.  
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**So! Here it is, my goals are cries of outrage, tears and giggles! Let me know if I managed it!**

**Uuuhhh, Warnings? Just a whole lot of swearing – Rida's got a **_**bit**_** of a mouth on him and the others aren't much better….haha *blushes in shame***

**Most of this chapter was written in the back of the car in a note book that was falling apart in my hands, then copied down once back at home, one that note; I can't read my own hand writing…**

**XoX**

"_Who ever said 'words don't hurt' never got hit in the head with a dictionary"_

XoX

Tsunade stared at him blankly for a moment as his words slowly sunk in. When they did the hazel eyes gained a mischievous twinkle while the sides of the painted lips twitched upward.

The blond Sannin slowly clasped her hands together and folded them gracefully on the desk top, mouth opening slightly as she started to respond.

"YOU?"

Iruka whipped around while Tsunade's head shot up, a look of dark anger in her eyes as Rida strode into the office like he owned it, a very twitchy Aoba followed him, glancing around the room frantically like he expected the walls to attack him.

"Jaku! What the hell are you doing in here?"

Tsunade's tone promised the most excruciating pain to the first person to defy her in the next two minutes, Rida however ignored her and instead went for Iruka. Not expecting the attack Iruka barely had time to twist around before hands were grasping at the front of his shirt and lifting him into the air.

"Jaku!"

Tsunade was on her feet; Aoba stopped cowering and turned wide, unbelieving eyes to his friend.

"Rida mate, what-?"

Rida didn't seem to be able the hear either of them as he snarled at the wide eyed chuunin in his grasp, his face was twisted in ugly fury and he showed no recognition for who was in his hold other than being the one to blame for him shame.

"So you're the piece of maggot shit that ruined my life. Well I hope you like dogs cause there will be just enough of you left to feed them as a snack once I'm done with you, you fucking useless cunt"

Iruka watched in horror as the Jounin drew his fist back, a crazed looking the black eyes. Reacting instinctively he kicked out, catching Rida in the gut hard. The Jounin choked as the air was driven from his lungs and his grip loosened, one more solid hit – to the jaw this time – had the older man letting go completely and staggering back.

Landing Iruka instantly set his feet into a fighting stance, dark eyes watching the Jounin warily as the other man nursed his now bruised jaw. Rida straightened slowly, malice glittering in his eyes as he started toward the smaller man again.

"Jaku!"

The sharp command was barked out again, this time by two people. Tsunade was around her desk and standing behind the Jounin with speed clearly showing her rank and skill while Iruka found himself being pulled backward and pushed behind the familiar form of Hatake Kakashi.

Iruka blinked in surprise as he stared up at the lean, muscled back that was shielding him from the rest of the room. He couldn't see the copy nin's face but he could tell the Jounin was giving his former friend a glare fit to kill.

Some little voice in the back of his mind alerted him to the fact that Kakashi had come in through the window, where his must have been lounging on the roof – which meant that like Rida and Aoba he would have heard the confession.

So why was he protecting him?

"You do realize what you just did could be considered treason Jaku? Attacking and threatening a fellow shinobi is punishable by death" Tsunade's voice echoed through the room as she snarled the words, they were answered with a low growl from Rida.

"Fellow shinobi? He's a fucking disgrace! You'll protect that useless piece of shit over one of your Jounin?" If Rida's face looked anything like his voice sounded Iruka was very glad he couldn't see around from where Kakashi's bulk had him pressed to the wall, Tsunade's reply was loud and very annoyed.

"I would send you and a good deal more of my more annoying idiots packing before I would even _think_ about demoting Iruka – do you know what would happen? Kami I can practically feel the extra paper work and hear the screams of chaos as rowdy Jounin, furious Chuunin and protesting children took the streets" the Hoakges voice took on a slight tremble and Iruka could picture the shudder running through her body perfectly "Konoha would fall in six days"

Iruka rolled his eyes when Tsunade whispered the last line "Would not! It would take 12 minimum!"

"Oh?" Tsunade sounded amused "And how do you figure that?"

"That's how long it would take for Shizune to have a nervous breakdown"

Tsunade's chuckle was cut off by a low snarl.

"Stop fucking around you little bitch! You ruined my life!"

Iruka growled and pushed Kakashi gently to the side so he could face Rida "First off; stop swearing, it's not impressing anyone. Second; _I_ did not 'ruin your life' you did that all by yourself. You're the one that broke the rules – if it had been someone else you would have had you ass handed to you on a platter, I simply got back in the way I'm good at, don't blame me for your shit hitting the fan"

Rida's eyes narrowed for a moment then widened when he finally stopped to look and recognise the chuunin "W-wait. Its – _you_, the sensei. What the fuck? Why'd you fucking do this? _How_ did you do this?"

Iruka didn't bother to repress his glare and was pleased when Rida took a step back.

"Why? Because you deserved it you moron! You screwed with me and broke one of the most important rules! And you knew it! If anything you got off easy, if I'd let Anko loose you wouldn't even have a house left. Here" reaching into his pocket Iruka pulled out the keys and tossed them to the stunned Jounin "I _had_ left them under your dresser where you find them but I went and got them for you when I heard you couldn't break into your own apartment"

That brought a chilling silence to the room and an extremely smug smile to Tsunade's face (at least she was enjoying herself now)

"Y-you broke into my house"

Iruka shrugged "Twice. My specialty's traps remember? It's why I was sent on that mission with you in the first place. Everything in the house can be fixed and no – you will not be receiving funds or a team to repair it"

Rida collapsed back into a chair, staring blankly ahead as his perfect little world crumbled even more – though Iruka couldn't bring himself to be sorry, Rida was the one who had built himself up on a pedestal – he should have known no human can stay on one forever while ignoring the world around them.

Tsunade returned to her chair, still looking quite pleased – though she did always enjoy watching drama unfold so long as it didn't involve her.

"So, hang on"

The attention of the room switched over to Aoba as the spiky haired man shuffled his feet nervously.

"Ah, well. If the sensei doesn't mind me asking, I understand taking down Rida there but – what did me and Kashi do? We didn't screw ya" Aoba paused, frowning as he reconsidered the statement while Iruka turned a brilliant shade of red "Well, no I guess Kakashi did, didn't he – but, what did I do?"

Iruka stared at the floor, still trying to get over what Aoba had just revealed in front of _the Hokage_. "I don't appreciate being used Aoba-san. You only went after me because of what he" Iruka gestured to the shell shocked Rida "Said about me, other than that you have no real attraction to me. Though I'll admit what I did was a bit over kill. When I found out what happened I was mad and I lashed out at all avalible targets, you unfortunately were one of them. I'm sorry for my actions to you; I didn't intent to be malicious."

Aoba remained silent a moment then sighed "Naw, don't sweat it, in hind sight, I had it coming – if not from you from some chick with a really sharp knife. Just, next time – could you just slap me or somewhat? I'm not great with cats on a good day. How'd you do that anyway?"

Iruka grinned sheepishly "It was going to be dogs but I had to change it. The scent tags in your hair and clothes are what's doing it"

"Scent tags?" Aoba's narrowed his eyes in confusion "When did you knick scent tags on m-" Aoba's mouth gaped open when it hit him "The file room?"

Iruka nodded, his gaze on the floor when the unexpected sound of laughter made him look up in shock to see Aoba bent over, hands on his knees, laughing fit to choke. The whole room stared at the spiky haired Jounin in utter confusion until Rida snapped.

"What the fuck? Why the fuck are you laughing shit head? He just humiliated you, a fucking chuunin! You have nothing to laugh about!"

Aoba took in a deep breath then glared at the other Jounin "Fuck off Rida. You never could take a blow with humility. By shinobi standards Iruka did nothing terribly wrong, to any of us. It's actually brilliant when you think about it. I'm taking it as is, a genius prank. I'm not hurt, just covered in cat hair, so if I want to laugh at the picture I must have made, I bloody well will!"

With that Aoba turned and headed for the door, intending to leave his stunned audience behind when Iruka snapped out of his shock.

"Ah! Aoba-san! Wait!"

"What?" Aoba paused, one hand on the handle as he looked back at the little sensei.

"The scent tags! Their still on!"

Aoba instantly paled and backed away from the door, making Iruka laugh softly "Here, I'll get them"

Walking up he quickly pulled the three small tags off and tossed them in the waste bin. The Jounin gave him a grateful smile and a gentle clap on the shoulder, saying he'd see him next time Tsume had a 'B-Q' then left, sending Kakashi a last salute and pointedly ignoring Rida.

Iruka smiled softly, gaze still on the floor as a flicker of relief slowly filled his chest.

So Aoba wasn't mad, he even had enough humility to laugh at the whole situation; that showed a lot of character in Iruka's books. That decided it, he would make something for the Jounin to show no hard feelings – maybe he should ask Gai how to make a pie.

"So that's it? You're letting him off? Just like that?"

Rida's voice no longer held any emotion but feeble hopeless. Iruka turned his gaze back to the broken Jounin while Tsunade snort in disgust.

"Get your ass out of here Jaku. You have your keys, go home, then report back in three hours; I'll have found that six month mission to Rain by then"

Rida blanched but seemed to have smartened up a bit as he didn't protest, just gave a hasty bow before scuttling out of the office – forgetting to give Iruka a death glare in his panic to leave.

Iruka watched him go, then turned with a sigh to face his leader and remaining victim. Kakashi's brow rose even as Tsunade grinned evilly.

"So…" the Sannin's eyes gleamed with fun as her gaze flicked between her Copy nin and his tormentor "The brat here already showed me the damage, what I what to know is – how'd you do it?"

Iruka rolled his eyes, Tsunade was terrible really, all she wanted was gossip – something juicy enough to distract Shizune with when she came in to try and once again make the blond healer work, and a story about a chuunin breaking into an ex-ANBU's house and dying the guy green would defiantly do the job.

But, as noble as the effort to save Tsunade from the evils of necessary paperwork was Iruka owed it to Kakashi to let him off the hook.

Cautiously he drew closer to the older man, reaching into his vest he pulled out a bottle and a sealing tag. Shyly he extended his arm, holding both objects out for Kakashi to take.

"Wash your hair with that and the green will come out; the tag will release the henge block, the sticking jutsu and the tracker"

Kakashi stared down at the bottle and tag in his hand, curiosity plain in the grey eye.

"A few questions"

Slowly, Iruka nodded. Kakashi deserved some answers at the least. Also, he was his superior, so technically he couldn't say no.

"Why a tag?"

"So I didn't have to constantly focus on the jutsu's and wouldn't use as much chakra"

Kakashi's brow rose, the smoky eye looking decidedly impressed as he slipped the tag and bottle into his pocket "Ok, how did you get into my house? None of the traps had been touched"

"Cause I didn't touch them, I slipped around them – moving through the gaps so not to set them off"

Kakashi's awe increased even as he stepped closer to the chuunin "Prints? I would have spotted marks on the floor or glass"

Iruka blushed, though he wasn't quite sure why "Ah, I was bare foot and-" shyly he held out his hands, palms up, for the Jounin to see "I don't have finger prints, not anymore"

Kakashi's stunned look and raised brow said it all. Flushing Iruka answered the unspoken question "Exploding tag incident when I was 13, the skin never recovered"

Amusement flashed through the grey eye "Intriguing. The dogs?"

"Guruko fell off the couch and I put him back, so Pakkun let me go"

Kakashi eye fell into a death glare, though it was directed over the chuunin's shoulder and obviously meant for the dog Kakashi was picturing in his mind. "Damn mutt, he didn't tell me!" with a very beast like growl Kakashi coughed and turned his attention back to the present, once again taking a step closer to the younger man.

"Thank you for being honest, now – one last question"

Iruka mentally flinched at the indifferent, almost casual tone even as he braced himself for the question he wasn't sure how to answer.

"Why?"

The chocolate eyes dropped their gaze back to the floor, his mind searching for a reason the genius would believe.

"Well, I already told Aoba-"

"Nu-ah. I'm not the same as him and we both know it. So?"

Nervousness flared up in Iruka's gut bit he quickly crushed it, letting himself grow angry instead.

"So?"

"What about me?"

Iruka's head shot up, glaring for all his worth to hide the hurt in his eyes as he spat back at the copy nin "What about you?"

Kakashi looked mildly confused at the change in character but quickly recovered "What did I do that was so terrible? And before you answer remember _you_ let _me_ in – you could have told me to fuck off and left me standing in front of your door!"

"And I SHOULD HAVE!"

Kakashi took a step back, Tsunade freezing at her desk when Iruka yelled the words out "I should have but I didn't because I'm an IDIOT. I shouldn't have let Rida touch me and I shouldn't have let _you_ anywhere near my house!"

Iruka chocked on the last word, managing to change 'heart' to 'house' though he had a feeling that Kakashi had noticed it even if Tsuande hadn't.

The grey eye widen for a moment then quickly narrowed again "No – what Rida did was not your fault, but targeting me with no reason is unacceptable – I know you Iruka, you don't do things without a reason. You say Aoba should have thought harder before acting? Fine, I'll take that. But the fact still remains that you let me in. I didn't know Rida's true colours then so you can't blame me for that. So, just what did I do that was so deserving of the humiliation you put me through"

Iruka bit at his lip and stared at the floor, refusing to meet the smoky eye's gaze.

"What?"

He flinched at the hard commanding tone Kakashi used when he barked the question but still he didn't look up, afraid that if he did Kakashi would see the tears he was fighting glistening in his dark eyes.

"Iruka LOOK AT ME!"

A large, hard hand grabbed his chin and forced it up while the powerful Jounin roared the command. The sight of the masked face and furious eye made something snap inside of Iruka, the tears started to fall even as he yelled back at the older man.

"Because you LEFT!"

The grey eye widened and the pale hand went slack while Iruka's hands clapped over his mouth when he realized what he had just reveled.

Kakashi still didn't move and Iruka took his chance; choking back a sob he turned and fled.

XoX

_I am so stupid. And busted – ya, really, really, REALLY – busted…_

Iruka sighed and tossed and rock over the edge, listing to the sounds it made hitting the steeps cliffs on the way down.

He was on top of the Hokage's monument – the Sandiame's head to be exact – the sun was slowly crawling its way down, lighting the clouds a soft orange and covering the bustling village in dusk light.

Iruka sat cross-legged, looking out at the busy village as he tried to sort through his muddled thoughts.

First off; he had admitted to Kakashi that he liked him and had made the past 48 hours chaos because of it.

Second; he had admitted this to not only Kakashi but the Hokage _and_ the powerful woman's guards – though Sai probably didn't understand what had been going on Yamato certainly had. He'd tried to grab the chuunin when he'd fled the office, though Iruka had easily escaped the hold. He hadn't quite realized where he'd been going until he stopped running and had found himself overlooking the village.

Smiling Iruka tossed another rock over the edge. It made sense that he'd come here. Saritobi had done so much for him, so coming to the carved figure of him had always been the natural thing for his mind to do since the old man's death.

He sighed and leaned back on his hands. What would Saritobi have done about this whole mess if he'd still been alive?

Iruka grinned, knowing the old man he most likely would have whacked him over the head, told him he was being an idiot then poured a cup of tea and asked – a quiet, amused glint in the old eyes – how he'd pulled it all off.

And as for the crush – well, Sandiame probably would have given him 'that' look and told him to get over his damned shyness and drag Kakashi out on a date.

Iruka blushed at that. It wasn't that he hadn't thought about doing it, it was that every time he'd tried to pull one of his 'crazy Iruka' stunts with the man he'd wimped out – thoughts of 'what if he turns me down or yells at me' would swarm his mind and leave him frozen while images of Kakashi laughing or rejecting him or ignoring him would have him turning an embarrassed red while fighting tears.

Needless to say – all attempts to ask Hatake Kakashi out ended in disaster, usually with him looking like a freak, which was never helped by Kakashi's tendencies toward teasing when the chuunin would started stuttering or trip over his feet or drop whatever he'd been holding.

Iruka was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of footsteps. He smiled softly, it would be Anko, the little drama in the office would be trickling out into the grape vine by now and the gossip whore that was his big sister would want the real facts – she wouldn't spread them, she would never tell stories about the family unless they said she could, but she would want the truth.

Iruka's smile faded as the person drew closer – those foot falls were far too heavy to be Anko, but Anko was the only one in village besides Naruto who knew they would find him here, so who-?

"Iruka?"

Iruka snapped around at the sound of his name spoken gently in a familiar bass.

"Ibiki? What are you doing here?"

"Sai and Yamato just came off duty"

_Oh._

Chocolate eyes widened while panic mounted in his chest, words came out in a garbed stream as Iruka jumped to his feet and tried to apologise for – something "Wait, Ibiki, it's not – I'm sorry, I really do enjoy being with you and – I mean – I– "

Ibiki held up his hand, forcing Iruka's training to kick in, causing him to brake off mid stammer and fall silent. Ibiki looked mildly confused at the instant reaction for a moment till he realized the cause. The thin lips twitched slightly, then the big Jounin coughed, taking a step closer.

"Sorry, first off, don't apologize; you have nothing to be sorry for. If you really want to feel guilty then at least know I am too"

That got Iruka's attention; he glanced up to see Ibiki looking mildly shamed. Interesting.

"So, you do like Suzume?"

Ibiki started, his gaze snapping around to the chunnin "What? How-when –" the big man regained his composure and schooled his face before starting again "When did you get that idea?"

Iruka gave the man a deadpan look as he pointed to himself "Works in the Mission Room, remember? Gossip central. I didn't know if it was true, though I kinda do now"

Ibiki glared, then slumped slightly in defeat "look, Iruka, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

Iruka shook his head "No, we were both doing the exact same thing, going for someone we could like rather than trying for the person we do like. Besides, I was kinda figuring it out already. You don't date guys do you?"

The black eyes narrowed "H-how-?"

"Lucky guess maybe but you seemed unsure the other night, like you didn't know how to respond. You were having fun, I could tell that much, but you didn't know if you could touch me or if you should keep your distance; I'm guessing that was only because you've never gone on a date with another guy before – only slept with them"

"I-" Ibiki sighed and looked down at the stones under his feet "Ruka I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have used you like-"

"Did you have fun?"

The Jounin seemed stumped by the question – or maybe the lack of yelling, Iruka figured it was probably a bit of both. "I- well…yes?"

He smiled, relived to find it wasn't fake or strained "Good cause so did I, and you do realize Anko will be the one bugging you to joining us again sometime – now that she knows you can sing."

The look on Ibiki's face could only be described as amazed happiness "Y-You're not mad at me"

The dark eyes rolled skyward as Iruka laughed "Of course I'm not mad. Ibiki I asked you out because I think you're a very fun and interesting guy who needs to leave the bubble a little more and I still think that, so even though we're not making wedding plans, if you don't find me and my family total freaks I know we all would love it if you came over again"

Ibiki seemed to be frozen but he snapped himself out of it, the scarred face clearing as a smile began to play on the thin lips "Your serious" it wasn't a question "I would love to Iruka, thank you; and - and I'm-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry again" Iruka mock scowled at the older man "There's nothing to apologize for. If we tried to make it work we'd both just end up settling and that wouldn't be fair – for me or for you"

Ibiki nodded and looked down at the ground for a moment before glanced back up to lock eyes with the chuunin "You're an amazing person Iruka"

Iruka frowned and shook his head in disagreement but Ibiki closed the distance between them and grabbed the smaller man's chin, forcing the chocolate eyes to look up at the black ones.

"You are; I don't deserve you"

Iruka pulled out of the hold and looked at the ground, biting his lip to stop himself from yelling at the Jounin, who he knew was just trying to being nice.

Ibiki sighed, seemingly realizing his stepped over some sort of line as he moved back and returned to his slouch, not looking at the younger man as he spoke again.

"He doesn't deserve your attention either"

"I know, I don't"

The chocolate eyes went wide but Iruka couldn't pull his gaze from the ground to look at the Copy nin who had spoken, though he sensed Ibiki stiffen and glance over at him. Sighing he nodded, giving the Jounin permission to leave.

The big man hesitated then nodded stiffly back before taking a step away, biting his lip again Iruka reached out to grab the big hand, getting his attention before whispering softly.

"You should talk to her you know. She'll like you, she'd be mad not to"

He let go of the hand and waited for the other man to walk away, he could tell Ibiki wanted to say something else but couldn't do comfortably with Kakashi there. That was fine with him, anymore and it would start to hurt.

He listened carefully as Ibiki's heavy footsteps faded until they vanished altogether. Taking in a deep breath he summoned the courage to look at Kakashi.

The older man was standing a few steps away, hands in the pockets of a normal blue uniform and eyes downcast, not meeting his. The hair was white again and still slightly wet, he must have just washed before coming there.

"The stuff worked"

Iruka snorted "Of course it did, I wouldn't lie about something like that" he saw Kakashi nod and sighed "Well, your hairs back to its other unnatural colour and Gai's outfit obviously came off, so what do you want Kakashi-san?"

The tall body flinched but eventually Kakashi lifted his head to look at him "I – well, I wanted to talk to you"

"Bout what?"

Kakashi shift nervously on his feet and looked back down "About, umm, what you said in – in Tsunade's office"

Iruka felt his heart drop; schooling his features into a blank stare he turned away from the Jounin "Why?"

He heard the other man take a step forward before rethinking it and moving back "I – I just wanted to know if it, was true"

"Does it matter?"

"I – doesn't it?"

Iruka sighed and stared off at the village sprawled out before him, blinking hard to fight the tears threatening to fall again "Why would it Kakashi-san, you don't think of me that way so why should fucking matter"

The last part, much to his annoyance, ended as a chocked sob, one he bit back furiously before it could finish.

He couldn't fool Kakashi's sharp hearing though; the Jounin crossed the distance between them in four long strides and reached out to touch him on the shoulder, only to have the chuunin shy away from the hand.

"Iruka – I – surely by now you must know I'm really an idiot, even my dogs know that"

"Of course I know that moron" Iruka's was quiet even to his own ears, he didn't look at the man standing behind him but stared at the ground instead, letting his hair swing forward to hide his face "15 years I've been trying to get your attention and it takes a gossiping git and green hair dye for you to finally see me. So yes, I know you're an idiot"

"Why?"

The brown eyes opened again at the confusing question. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kakashi's feet move to take Ibiki's old position in front of him.

"Why what Kakashi-san"

"Why would someone like you be interested in someone like me? Your warm and strong and loving and, and _alive_. I'm just…" the pale hand ran through the white hair absent-mindedly "I don't deserve someone like you"

The words – so like Ibiki's and Genma's – echoed through his head, finally snapping the carefully tended control. Iruka jumped up with a hiss and stepped right into the copy nin's space, finally bringing the dark, hurt filled orbs to meet the dark grey gaze.

"You think I fucking _care?!_" the words were spat out while hot tears broke free to roll down the dark cheeks "You don't 'deserve' me. Ibiki doesn't 'deserve' me; Genma goes through lists of people who aren't 'good enough' for me. So what then? I 'deserve' to spend the rest of my freaking life _alone?"_

Iruka backed up a step, no longer able to stop the river of words and emotions – held back for so long – from escaping his mouth, throwing them unheedingly at the shocked Jounin.

"Love and caring for someone isn't about deserving or being good enough, it's about a feeling and a promise to try, despite the knowledge that both of you are going to mess up from time to time, that you're going to hurt each other and there's nothing that can stop that; but that their _worth_ it and that you'll put up with them so that _neither _of you have to be _ALONE!_"

They stood frozen in place, seconds ticking by until the realization that he had just lost it _again_ hit Iruka. Blushing, he stepped back quickly, refusing to meet Kakashi's eye in fear of what he'd see.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to –" still stammering Iruka continued to back up "J-just forget it Kakashi-san, Ok? Forget I ever said anything, here or in Tsunade-sama's office-"

Kakashi's head sapped up at that "What?" the tone was sharp and the word was growled out.

Iruka flinched, very aware that he probably just found the breaking point of the Jounin's patience. Time to leave, and fast.

"I- I'm sorry" Iruka quickly back peddled a few more steps, trying to get far enough away from the powerful man so he could break for it, head home, grab a bag and high tail it to Ko and Zumo's. Then just let them to whatever the hell they wanted to him.

These plans, however, were fouled when a large, strong hand grabbed his arm and dragged him back.

"Oh no. you are NOT running away from me again!"

Iruka's reaction was purely instinctive and would cost him weeks of teasing after.

His left leg kicked out, aimed just below the knee while his right hand fisted and struck hard into the tender area between the rib and hip. The attack made Kakashi bend double as his knees buckled in response to the hit to his side, this action caused his knee to come in line perfectly for the incoming kick.

A yell of pain rented through the air as it made contact. Kakashi pitched forward, bracing himself for the impact of hitting the ground when a sharp stinging in his hair and a tugging on his shirt made the grey eye open, widening when he saw he was now in the perfect position to be kneed squarely in the face.

Iruka let out a little curse and quickly dropped his captive – gently though, he'd just attacked the man. He didn't need to add tossing him around to the growing list of abuse he'd railed on Kakashi the past two days.

Slowly, Kakashi stood, one hand clutching what would soon be a bruised side "You could have just said 'let go' I would have listened"

Iruka blushed hotly and dropped his gaze back down to the ground "Sorry"

Kakashi's laugh surprised him into looking back up "Don't apologize, least now I can tell people the academy sensei's do know what they're doing" the grey eye winked cheekily and Iruka glared until the older man's gaze softened.

"I'm not mad if that's what you thought"

The brown eyes widened, making Kakashi's soft smile grow "I'm not going to forget what you said either"

Iruka's panic returned "Kakashi-san, I know I'm in the wrong here but telling everybody what I said won't get you revenge, at worst it will piss of Anko and-"

Kakashi simply chuckled "I'm not going to gossip about it – that's Tsunade's department – if anything I'd tell everyone your mine"

Iruka's world came screeching to a halt, and if the amused glint in the grey eye was anything to go off of it must have shown on his face.

"W-what?"

Kakashi's grin was visible even through the mask "A guy like you confesses to someone like me. And you're expecting me to be mad or ignore you or humiliate you at your work? Please Iruka; I'm socially awkward, not stupid. Not only would I be signing my own death warrant at the hands if your family and co-worker's, my dogs would never let me live it down"

Iruka let the corner of his mouth twitch upward "Your dogs?"

"They want me to get a mate who can actually cook"

How Kakashi said that with a straight face Iruka would never know as the instant later they both broke out laughing.

It felt good, all the confusion and hurt of the past hours seemed to just melt away. Still smiling Iruka looked up to see Kakashi once again standing in front of him, hand held out.

"Dinner? My treat"

Chocolate eyes widened once more before filling with a happy light as the dark hand took the pale one.

"I'd like that, Kakashi"

**XoX**

_**(Three months later)**_

"Kakashi? Would you keep an eye on the oven for me?"

Iruka hummed softly as he carefully sliced veggies for a tray, dutifully ignoring the panting puddle of puppy eyes and wagging tails at his feet.

"You shouldn't let him help Ruka" the pug clawed his way up to the counter top and totted over to the little brunette "He _always_ wrecks human food"

Iruka chuckled "It's just watching the cake, I have the timer going, he'll be fine. Now get off the counter, I just cleaned and your leaving paw prints"

The pug gave him a toothy grin but obediently jumped to the floor.

"The amount of faith you have in me is astounding" Kakashi sauntered in, freshly showered with his hand stuffed in his jean pocket, light green dress shirt half buttoned and un-tucked, mask pooled around his neck; sliding up to Iruka he gave the younger man a kiss before turning to glare at the pug on the floor "Look who's actually taking orders. You listen to him now do you?"

Pakkun gave him a droopy eye roll "Like you don't"

The silver brow rose while gave the dog a look "Meaning what?"

The brow arched higher as Pakken snorted while the rest of the Pack burst out laughing.

"Of course Ruka"

"No Ruka"

"Yes Ruka"

"More Ruka"

"Faster Ruka"

"We get it!"

The Pack only laughed harder when the protest came from both men, one panicked the other blushing bright red. Iruka growled playfully, trying in vain to force the colour from his cheeks as he glared at the dogs.

A large wet nose being pushed gently against his hand made him look over to see the huge black mass that was Bull standing next to him, the droopy brown eyes silently begging while the large pink tongue lolled out in a happy pant. The big dog could have easily reached the counter top and plucked the wanted food from the cutting broad but Iruka knew by now that the loving beast liked being given food as what he really wanted was the attention – not just something to eat.

Iruka laughed and tossed the dog a slice of cucumber which Bull skillfully snatched up with his tongue, a happy grin in the dark eyes. This made the rest of the Pack start up protests, making Iruka grin and toss a piece of food to the each of the others.

Kakashi watched the scene from the corner, a happy smile on his un-masked face as he watched his Pack swarm his lover, covering the dark hands and face with affectionate kisses.

Iruka simply laughed and tried to pet all the dogs at once, getting knocked over when Bull decided to jump in, the pack didn't mind though, it just made it easier to pile on the small man when he was sprawled on the floor.

"YA! DOG PILE!"

The sound of the door being opened had gone unnoticed by both men and the dogs, giving Anko the perfect chance to take the room by surprise. The purple haired woman charged across the living room and into the kitchen to launch herself toward the mound of fur covering her little brother.

All the dogs - except Bull – shrieked and cleared the way. Quickly Iruka propped himself up and caught her – one foot on the lower part of her stomach while one hand and arm supported her across the chest, balancing her perfectly in mid-air.

The Kounichi just laughed as Bull came up and began licking the woman as she hung in mid-air. Her boyfriend watched beside Kakashi at the edge of the kitchen, matching grins on their faces at the sight of their lovers.

"Gah! Ok! Stop! No more! Dang it stop licking! Ruru put me down before he eats me!"

Iruka laughed but carefully set his sister down and stood, giving Bull an affectionate pat on the head as he did. Keeping an eye on his sister as she dashed around the room, opening all the cupboards and drawers – totally exploring every nook and cranny while Kakashi watched her sniff through his kitchen, a confused look in the grey eye.

Iruka sighed and sent an apologetic look at his lover before turning back to his sister "You done now Ang? It's a house, not a torture dungeon"

Glaring Anko continued her complete sweep of the place, dashing to the living room, then down the hall where they heard the sound of doors opening and closing.

"What the hell?" Kakashi addressed the room in general, knowing between the little brother and the boyfriend one of the two would answer. Iruka chuckled sheepishly.

"Sorry, it's one of her quirk's, she has to know where everything is and what all the rooms are. Don't worry; she'll only do it once"

Iruka smiled as Kakashi blinked then shrugged in acceptance to his fellow Jounin's oddity.

"Dinner smells amazing Iruka, is there anything I can do to help?" Gai stepped up to the large counter and swept his gaze over the large, fancy spread Iruka had prepared.

The little sensei smiled but shook his head "No, we've pretty much got it, though if you and Kashi could carry the veggie and meat trays to the living room that would be great. The others should be here soon and nothing distracts Anko like food"

The black haired man smiled and nodded, scooping up the meat tray before gliding out of the kitchen toward the living room, Kakashi following him in a more relaxed and slouched position as Iruka gathered up crystal glasses and brought them out to set them on the temporary mini bar Kakashi had formed on top of an old dresser.

"Oh and Kakashi?" Iruka turned to glare at his lover who turned to stare back at him innocently.

"Yes Ruka love?"

Iruka's eye twitched but he fought back the smile "Try to be civil with Ibiki this time alright? As cute as your jealous act is I would prefer if you didn't push him into hitting you this time"

The slight jump in pale jaw was the only sign of the Jounin's annoyance – probably at just how much the interrogator's right hook had hurt and the fact that Kakashi had been a tad too surprised to duck said punch. The two men still wouldn't tell Iruka just what Kakashi had said to make the normally level tempered man strike first, which meant it was about him and they knew he would hurt them if he managed to find out.

Who ever said old dogs couldn't learn new tricks?

Kakashi grumbled and grabbed a pickle, stuffing it in his mouth so he was saved from actually having to reply.

Iruka rolled his eyes again but turned away when the doorbell rang. Quickly crossing the room Iruka opened the bright orange door to reveal a beaming Kurenai, decked out in a gorgeous red top and blue jeans, holding little Harzin, who was dressed up in a little suite with Asuma , look completely normal a step behind his wife and child, holding a bottle of wine.

"Evening Iruka, you look wonderful!"

Iruka grinned as he held out his hands to take the giggling red eyed boy from his mother "Same to you Kurenai" Harzin happily wrapped his little arms around the chuunin's neck as he was passed over, the giggles continuing as he reached up to tug at the chocolate locks, which had been left down to spill over the lithe shoulders and back.

"Ruka-nii!"

The happy baby cheer had Iruka blushing while everyone else grinned.

"Gets to cuddle with Ruka? Lucky little git"

The familiar cant had Kurenai and Asuma turning around while Iruka beamed at the new arrival.

"Tsume! Glad you could make it"

The wild haired Iunzuka pushed her way up the steps, moving confidently in jean shorts and a tight tank top as she flashed the young man a sharp toothy grin "Me? Miss out on free food and cute boys? It's like you don't know me at all love"

Iruka laughed and backed away from the door to let the guests through, stopping Harzin from sucking the small silver hoop earring he was wearing into the curious little mouth at the same time. Kurenai glided in, her husband sauntering in after her, heading for the mini bar to drop off the wine while the Kounichi collapsed gracefully on the couch where she and the happily munching Anko immediately started to gossip, Tsume swept in like only she could – Kuromaru on her tail – as she tossed what seemed to be a box full of steaks at Kakashi, yelling that they were for the mutts, before she too made a B line for the couch and food covered coffee table.

"Ho there little bro, hold the door"

Iruka glanced over to see Genma and Raidou coming up the front steps, both dressed in simple coloured tees and jeans, holding a bottle of sake. Genma passed his to Rai so he could hug the small brunette and poke Harzin in the tummy, making the boy giggling again as he tried to wiggle closer to the chuunin's body and escape the tickling fingers.

Raidou rolled his eyes at the actions of his best friend though the grin remained firmly on his scarred face. Leaning over the red head gave Iruka a kiss on the cheek, as his hands were too full for a hug, and wondered his way into the house, dropping the sake off before joining Kakashi, Gai and Asuma in the corner while Genma went straight for the ladies and gossip like a shark that smelt blood.

Shutting the door with his foot Iruka set Harzin down, taking hold of the small hand instead as he gently lead the little boy to the kitchen where he gave him a small plate of pecan squares. Showing the little hands how to hold it without dropping he sent the child of at a careful march to 'deliver the treats to mommy' the red eyed boy doing so very seriously, a furious scowl of concentration on his chubby face as he stomped his way to the living room, declaring to his father in a gruff little voice to 'Move! I'm b'ing Mommy tweets!'

Iruka chuckled as he turned and grabbed a pile of plates. Kakashi's table was only big enough to hold four people comfortably so they were doing a buffet style; everything was set, only Ibiki was left to show up.

He wondered back to the front room, letting his gaze linger over his friends and family as they talked and laughed. The dogs too were spread out over the house, some were by the couch, playing cute at the ladies and Genma in an attempt to get food and cuddles – so far they had discovered Gen was the sucker while Tsume would make them work for every mouthful and pat.

The rest of the pack were swarming Kakashi, who had yet to put away the box of juicy steaks, Pakkun was part of that crowd and the small pug was putting a large amount into a very amusing attempt to startle his white haired master into dropping the coveted box. Kakashi, however, wasn't so much as blinking when the determined pug continually slammed his little body into the long legs, stagger back then take a run at it again.

The other 4 dogs didn't seem to realize that if they helped they could have probably sent the copy nin to the floor – or maybe they did and had decided that watching the normally cool and aloof pug making a fool of himself was more entertaining and worth waiting for the meat.

Smiling Iruka slipped over to where the ladies and Genma were talking. Anko was still eating everything she could see while Kurenai and Genma were nibbling on the pecan squares, Genma bouncing a happily laughing Harizn on his knee while he listened to every word that passed the girls lips.

"Ah! Iruka these are marvellous!" Kurenai took another bite of square and let her bight eyes roll back as she chewed. Iruka grinned but was stopped from answering when arms grabbed him from behind and pulled him backwards and down.

"Gah! Tsume!"

Iruka twisted around to mock glare at the wild haired woman; she only grinned and tightened her hold around his waist, pulling him firmly against her body. A quick glance over to the side revealed the Kakashi was glaring venomously at the female Jounin over top of Raidou's shoulder. If Tsume was aware of the death gaze she was ignoring it very well.

Raidou seemed to have noticed Kakashi's crazed look and was now glancing nervously over his shoulder in the hope the frightening gaze wasn't meant for him. On catching sight of the over cocky woman though he grinned, rolling his eyes cheekily at his little brother. Iruka narrowed his in annoyance, it wasn't funny, if Tsume didn't let go soon Kakashi would most likely do something possessive and over-protective.

The knock on the door was he saving grace as it gave him the change to wiggle free of Tsume's hold. Shooting Kakashi a look as he passed, making the Jounin glower but send him a sheepish grin at the same time.

Smiling softly Iruka pulled open the door, only to find himself enveloped by two large arms and lifted off the ground in a bear hug.

"Evening Ibiki"

Iruka grinned up at the big man once he was set down. The big Jounin smiled back while Suzune beamed by his side, the couple looked stunning together with Ibiki in a plain but well cut white dress shirt and black dress pants and Suzune looking lovely in a lavender summer dress, purple pearls glimmering on her ears and a simple black silk shawl draped over her shoulders.

"Sorry we're late Iruka-kun" Suzune stepped up, holding out a clear bottle of bubbling champagne out from him to take as she leaned in to kiss his cheek "_Someone_ forgot to pick up this up earlier so we had to stop by the store on the way here " she shot a glare at the big man towering over them. Ibiki's face remained impassive but Iruka saw the laughter dancing in his eyes.

"That's fine Suzune-chan. Everyone else only just got here" he stepped aside to let the couple in, reaching out to take his fellow teacher's shawl as she passed "You two look great by the way, I'm sure Tsume will be thrilled Ibiki"

Ibiki froze and turned horrified eyes to the smaller man "Tsume? She's here?"

Iruka beamed "Yup, and she's half way through her third beer"

The big man groaned, absent mindedly tugging on the sleeve of his white dress shirt. Iruka suppressed a giggle, reaching out he gave the big arm a pat.

"Don't worry. You may not know it but a few years ago Tsume got on Suzune-chan's bad side and she asked me for help to get back at her"

The black eyes widened and Iruka grinned. Obviously his girlfriend hadn't told him of this. Oh, Ibiki was going to love it.

"Mmm. We set up a jutsu that blocked the vocal cords, though Suzune-chan made a few adjustments to it so Tsume didn't just spend the time unable to speak; she spent a week only being able to bark. So don't sweat it, Tsume wont risk getting in her bad books again by messing around with what Suzune's staked as hers" giving the stunned man one more bright grin before strolling away, hooking the black silk shawl on the wall as he passed and headed back to where the other guests were greeting Suzune.

That story should give Ibiki something new to think about – like how he and Suzune, and most of the other academy teachers were all cut from a similar cloth, personality wise anyway. Most people knew Suzune as a sweet person – but so was he, the main difference was that _her_ evil side wasn't as pronounced as his.

But really – you couldn't teach pre-genin without a slightly psychotic imp lurking somewhere in your mind – the kids would kill you before you could say 'Uncle' if you didn't.

Still smiling Iruka grabbed Anko and Genma to help him carry the food out to the table, slapping Anko on the head every time she tried to dip her finger in the sauce bowl.

Iruka called out that dinner was ready while Genma started to pass out plates. It was no surprise when Tsume was the first one to scramble up and dash for the food, snatching a plate from Genma's hands on the fly.

Beaming she gave Iruka a bold smooch on the cheek before beginning the art of piling a large amount of food on a small plate, the bright grin still fix on her face, though it was a bit strained and nervous at a second glance, which Iruka found strange. Tsume wasn't easily upset or startled.

Glancing around for the reason for the wild Jounin's discomfort he caught sight of Suzune, a brilliant smile on her lips and murder in her eyes. Ibiki was standing just a few steps behind his lover, watching her with thinly veiled amazement and pride gleaming in the black eyes.

Iruka grinned, turning back to where he was refilling drinks while he chuckled to himself. He'd told Ibiki – Suzune was extremely possessive, of the kids and her boyfriend's. Luckily Ibiki was the kind to appreciate that quality, and he should be relieved that Tsume would keep her hands to herself from now on.

Not even _she_ was dumb enough to mess with a jealous girlfriend.

Carefully measuring out another martini Iruka rolled his eyes has he passed it over to the grinning Anko, her dark brown eyes were wide and she was silently bouncing in place on the balls of her heels, which meant she was fairly tipsy at this point.

Sighing he watched her skip away, pausing to do a one legged spin, not even missing a beat or spilling her drink in the process.

"Honestly, she has to be the only person alive that becomes more agile when drunk"

Iruka took Kurenai's glass with a grin "Actually, what happens is, the little reserve she does have vanishes and she starts to show off. Fair warning, don't ask her about anything sex related or you'll end up knowing far more then necessary about Gai's 'abilities' – Gen found that one out the hard and painful way, he couldn't look Gai in the eye for weeks"

Kurenai stared in shock for a moment before bursting out laughing "Point taken. Keep Harzin away from Anko"

Iruka laughed as he passed her back her glass. The fact she was sticking faithfully with juice and lemonade did not escape his notice and a happy thrill when up his spine. Hopefully his guess was right – Harzin would be a good big brother.

Everyone filled their plates then settled down in the living room to eat and talk. Iruka found himself sitting comfortably next to Kakashi with Genma's legs casually slung over his, the blond leaned up against the couch armrest while Anko sprawled herself on the floor, using her little brothers legs as a backrest while she extended her limbs out so she could rest her feet on Gai's lap.

Ibiki had taken the armchair, Suzune balanced skillfully on the edge while Asuma, Kurenai and Harzin took the love seat, Harzin happily perched on his father's knee. Raidou and Tsume filled the remaining floor space , Rai on one end of the coffee table by Genma, Tsume on the other by Kurenai – and as far from Suzune as she could politely be.

Glancing around Iruka felt unbelievably happy, knowing that if someone had told his 14 year old self about this moment in his future, he would have punched them and yelled for them to stop mocking him.

Thinking back on those dark lonely years Iruka could smiled, sound now in the knowledge that no matter how bad life could get there was always something good around the corner if only you have the patience and heart to wait for it.

His blissful moment came to a halt however when Tsume lifted her head and sniffed the air, a puzzled look on her face "Why do I smell something burning?"

Kakashi's eye widened as Iruka's narrowed "Kashi dear, did you watch the cake like I asked?"

The Jounin visibly paled even as he bolted from the couch "SHIT!"

Everyone – especially the dogs – burst out laughing at the panicked curse. Iruka grinned broadly as he got up and followed his lover to the kitchen, already he could hear the cursing as Kakashi pulled out what must have been a pile of chorale from the oven; Pakkun's grumble of 'I warned you' came drifting over but it only made Iruka grin harder.

"Ruki? It – well –it's kinda –umm" Kakashi looked between the pile of black and his lover before hanging his head "Sorry"

Sliding up to the older man Iruka wrapped his arms around the pale neck and pulled the two of them close so he could slant his lips over the thinner pair, kissing Kakashi thrally before leaning back to meet the dark grey eye.

"I have a pie in the freezer, I can get that out instead" lowering his eyes Iruka gazed up at the Jounin through his lashes "If you know how to ask nicely"

Kakashi grinned, leaning forward until their noses touched, the pale hands moving to the slender waist as he pressed their mouths together in a hard kiss. Pulling back slightly after a moment so he could whisper against the younger man's lips.

"I think I can do that"

Quickly claiming the smaller mouth again Kakashi pulled Iruka closer as he deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into the younger man's mouth while one large hand came up to cradle the back of the dark head.

"I really don't need any pie, so long as you two keep kissing, I'm one happy bitch"

Kakashi growled when Iruka pulled away and turned to glare at the two drooling woman in the doorway "Anko, Tsume, is there something you wanted?"

Anko beamed brightly as she leant against the wall "Nope, please return to making out"

Mock growling Iruka grabbed a rolling pin and dove toward the leering Kounichi, she squealed and bolted from the room, dashing from the bathroom at full speed where she no doubt planned on locking the door.

The dogs however decided to intervene and sent the purple hair Kounichi to the floor in a dog pile.

"SON'S OF BASTARDS!" was the last thing heard from Anko before she disappeared under the mound of fur.

Laughter, cursing and barking filled the house; Gai – ever the hero – tried to jump in and save his lover but somehow ended up under the massive black rear of Bull instead.

This – for some odd reason – set off Kakashi's panic reaction as he yelled and dashed across the room; fisting his hands around the big collar he tried in vain to drag the huge dog off the sputtering man.

"No! Bull! Bad Dog! Don't Kill Him!"

The poor dog whimpered, like he didn't understand why he was being reprimanded but he moved anyway, revealing a red faced Gai who immediately started gasping for air.

Once he had stopped choking the black haired man gave the room a bright thumbs up while he grinned at the grey eyed Jounin.

"Eternal Rival! That is the third time he has sat on me, I do believe he likes me!"

Kakashi froze and stared blankly at his friend for a moment then grinned brightly, not moving his teeth when he replied "Sure Gai"

The dogs – who had stood back and released Anko at the sound of their master's yell – now burst out laughing. Rolling on the ground as they howled or pressing close to Kuromaru as they whispered in the husky's ear, a sharp fanged grin slowly appearing on his face.

Making a mental note to interrogate Kakashi later to get the whole story Iruka wove his way around the pack until he could reach Anko, who was still sitting on the floor laughing. She noticed him too late and had her escape attempt fouled when he grabbed the back of her shirt and dragged her back to the kitchen with him – her protesting to whole way.

"Relax Perv, I'm not going to string you from the ceiling"

She smiled in relief at that and moved to slouch against the wall.

"You're helping me cleanup"

"Aaahh!?"

Her protesting cry was cut off when he slipped some gloves on her and pushed her to the skin where a tower of dishes waited. She pouted, frowned, then cheered suddenly; grabbing the soap and turning on the water the Kounichi quickly had the whole place filled with bubbles as she began to sing a very colourful song off key loudly.

Grinning Iruka returned to the living room, the lines of Anko's ditty floating through the doorway along with a cloud of bubbles. Everyone except Genma and Raidou stared in confusion for a moment before shrugging and carry on with their conversations, Kurenai placing her hands over Harzin's ear's gently as he continued to play on the floor happily.

The evening passed quickly, and all too soon their friend's where tricking home. Kurenai and Asuma with a slumbering Harzin, his head resting on his father's shoulder while the little hands clutched at the front of the bearded man's shirt. It was then Iruka realized the man had only smoked once during the whole evening.

Gai and Anko went next, Gai carrying his lover who had passed out mid lyric over the sink full of water – Iruka planned on teasing her about that later.

Raidou and Genma wondered off together, Genma singing in his jaunty tenor voice, trying to get Rai to join in. you could still hear them arguing halfway down the block.

Ibiki and Suzune left shortly after, Suzune with a pile of books she need to borrow – she made the grinning Ibiki carry them as she slipped her small hand over the muscled elbow and pulled herself close to the big man as they walked home.

And Tsume – never left. She actually managed to avoid leaving by helping them clean up then she passed out on the floor by the couch, using the dogs as pillows while she wrapped her arms around Bisuke who was barking softly in his sleep.

Both men had stared at the clan leader for a moment before glancing at each other, Iruka shrugged "So long as she doesn't try anything perverted I'm fine with it"

Kakashi grinned and watched as the chuunin headed for their bedroom before he followed, planning his pace just right so he would walk in when Iruka started to strip.

Biting down on a chuckle Kakashi grinned – it was the little things in life that were the best.

The End

**XoX**

**Ryth: …..**

**Jiraiya: Ryth? Rythum? * He waves a hand in front of her face*RRrrryyyttthhh!**

**Ryth: *slowly tilts to the side then falls from her chair and slumps to the floor***

**Jiraiya: *stares down at the crumpled girl on the floor by his feet* uuuhhhh**

**;) Phew, that was….uuhhh. BUT! I...AM...FINISHED! *sets off a confetti canon* and I will have to clean that up later…oh well. That is the finish! Woot! There will be no more on this story though I may write some one shots – like Genma and Iruka's first day as trappers together, I have a feeling that day didn't go so well…**

**Anywho, I am going to have to disappear from the world for a while, though I have started on some new stories, I have decided to try and complete the whole thing before posting again – cause this was too much, haha.**

**there were also three quotes I liked for this chapter, the other two which didn't make the cut were _"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings - I was aiming for your face" _and _"I'm not retreating; I'm advancing in the opi__sit direction"_  
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**Thank you everyone who has read this, especially the ones who have read it from the start, your support was wonderful. Hearts and Love from me and the whole gang! Chai!**


	12. Lemon Pie

…

**YYAAYY! Birthday lemon!  
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**Ok first off – yes, I'm a big- uumm, average weight…liar. You see, I had a few people saying 'no more smut? Aaaww' - this made me think - and as we all know that's not a good thing - but anyway, I got thinking about this and thought 'what the heck? I WILL write more smut, just cause I can!'**

**So, now we have this….**

**Not sure what else to say, umm, enjoy? (and guess who's birthday it is! *winks*)  
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Kakashi grinned and watched as the chuunin headed for their bedroom before he followed, planning his pace just right so he would walk in right when Iruka started to strip.

Biting down on a chuckle Kakashi grinned – it was the little things in life that were the best.

He paused in the doorway, grey eye hooded as he watched the black tank slowly be stripped from the lithe body, revealing the dark coffee toned skin underneath. The shirt was tossed casually toward the laundry bin before the sexy white jeans hit the floor, leaving the younger man in nothing but some dark black bikini briefs.

"Kakashi?" finally noticing the attention and lack of the older man in the room Iruka turned questioning brown eyes to his lover, still standing casually slouched against the door "Aren't you coming to bed?"

The copy nin's control snapped, growling he stalked across the room – kicking the door shut with his foot before he did – grabbed the smaller man and pulled him into a hard kiss.

Iruka moaned – a sound that went straight to Kakashi's groin – as he was forcefully pulled tight against the taller body, returning the kiss hungrily while Kakashi began to push him backward toward the bed where one solid shove sent the smaller man sprawling over the sheets.

A feral grin played on Kakashi's lips as he stared down at the younger man – spread out across the soft blue sheets, dark hair tossed into a halo and dark lips parted in a sensual smile – before quickly stripping off his own shirt and crawling up onto the bed.

Dripping forward Kakashi licked his way up the coffee toned legs, biting gently at the soft insides if Iruka's thighs, making the small man shudder before a loud moan escaped the dark lips when the sharp nose pressed against the cotton covered crotch.

"Nug! Kakshi – w-wai-"

A groan cut off the rest of the words as Kakashi continued to mouth Iruka through his underwear, smirking happily as the bulge grew larger.

A choked moan from Iruka had Kakashi growled once again before he slipped three long fingers under the waist band of the black briefs, tugging until they slipped up and over the slender hip bones and down the tanned legs.

Licking his lips at the sight of the already half hard member Kakashi flicked his gaze upward to meet the dazed chocolate eyes; sending the panting brunette a lustful grin before the silver crown bobbed and the pale mouth swallowed the dark shaft down to the root.

A very strained cry fell from Iruka's lips as the lithe body arched up off the bed. More moans cries filled the little room along with labored breath and wet sucking as the Jounin slowly worked the younger man, enjoying every sound and reaction he received for his attention.

Pulling back Kakashi flicked his tongue over the head of his lovers cock, listening with lustful glee as Iruka gave a groan and shuddered at the sensation, then taking the whole weeping shaft into his mouth once more Kakashi gave one more hard suck before Iruka came with a ragged shout.

Drinking him down Kakashi pulled back and rose up until he was braced over top of the smaller male. Still grinning like a cat he lowered his head to claim the parted lips, kissing Iruka thrally as he pulled the slender body tight against his.

Releasing his lovers mouth Kakashi chuckled deep in his throat as his listened to Iruka pant for breath.

"Sorry, what were you saying before?"

Iruka tried to give the older man a glare, but in his current dishevelled state, it didn't do much.

"I was trying to say wait, Tsume's still in the living room so don't do anything perverted!"

The final word was underlined by a solid smack to the side of the Jounin's head. Kakashi only laughed as he moved to lick and nibble at the dark neck.

"Don't worry bout her, Tsume downed a good three gallons of liquor tonight, it will be a wonder if she even moves before noon."

"B-but what if – ohh"

Kakashi grinned, effectively cutting off Iruka's train of thought when he returned to licking and sucking at the dark skin while one pale hand slid down between their bodies and took hold of Iruka's cock, gently stroking it until he had the younger man moaning and squirming in pleasure.

Moaning something that sounded very much like the older man's name Iruka reached out and tugged desperately at the waist band of Kakashi's jeans.

"Off, now"

The order would have been more impressive if it hadn't been so breathless but it made the Jounin groan regardless. Slanting his lips back over Iruka's Kakashi moved his hand and helped the chuunin push the soft denim down the pale hips until he could kick them and his boxers off and knock them to the floor.

A low groan flowed from the Jounin as a small hand wrapped around his erection and stated to pump it slowly. Dropping his head he buried his face in the crook of the dark neck as his breathing grew faster and shallow.

"Fuuuck, Ruka"

A sexy chuckle drifted out from the man beneath him before a hot tongue licked a wet line up to his ear and a second hand moved to stroke over the pale chest.

"Mmm, you feel so good"

A shudder ran through Kakashi's body as the hand on his cock picked up speed while the one on his chest flicked teasingly over a nipple.

Groaning Kakashi reached out an arm, blindly searching for the nightstand drawer. Groping around until he found it then quickly yanking it open and fumbling inside till his fingers closed around the slender tube he'd been searching for. A predatory grin lit the pale lips for a moment before Kakashi turned his attention back to the coffee toned skin, sucking and licking at the dark flesh until he once again had Iruka moaning and writhing beneath him.

Popping the cap off of the tube with one hand Kakashi managed to sneak his other hand away and spread the slick clear liquid over his hand without alerting Iruka to what he was doing.

Satisfied he had enough Kakashi tossed the tube away before lowering his slicked hand and slipping a finger inside the chuunin's tight body, giving no warning to the action before doing it. Iruka's startled but pleasured cry had Kakashi grinning against the mocha skin as he bit down lightly at the chuunin's pulse point while he slipped another finger in and began to thrust them into the writhing body; changing their angle each time till he found that sweet spot that had Iruka arching off the bed while a loud keen escaped his throat.

Groaning at the sight Kakashi quickly added in one last finger, thrusting them hard into the brunette before slipping them out and drinking in Iruka's needy whimper.

Wrapping long arms around the slender body Kakashi drew the younger man up and forward until Iruka was sitting in his lap while he reclined back against the headboard, moaning when the impish gleam appeared in the brown eyes and Iruka wiggled in his lap, sliding until the Jounin's thick cock was pressed against his opening.

"Kakashi"

Kakashi breath hitched when his name was whispered breathlessly through parted lips. Groaning he wrapped a hand around the back of Iruka's neck and pulled the smaller man into a hard, needy kiss, waiting till Iruka had relaxed completely before thrusting up hard into his lover's tight body.

Startled, Iruka broke the kiss, letting his head fall back as a pleasured cry ripped from the dark throat.

Not even pausing for a moment Kakashi thrust in hard again, quickly setting an almost brutal pace as he groaned low in the back of his throat, bi coloured eyes dark and hooded as the sight of Iruka – head thrown back, dark hair loose and wild, spilling halfway over the scarred face, the chocolate eyes glazed and unseeing while full lips parted as the younger man fought for air – was burned into the Jounin's memory.

A shudder ran through the tall body "gods Ruka-" he paused, breath catching in his throat as the brown eyes focused in on him.

"Beautiful" the word was breathed reverently through pale lips "gods Iruka, you're so beautiful"

The dark eyes widened before something almost needy flashed through their depths. Leaning forward Iruka claimed Kakashi's lips in a desperate kiss, moaning when Kakashi thrust into him again before he slipped a tongue into the older man's mouth, making the Jounin groan and pull him closer.

Another hard thrust had Iruka shuddering and grasping onto the pale shoulders for support, gasping for air as he struggled to speak

"Ka-shi-I-"

Another violent shudder wracked the slender frame while Iruka tighten his grip on his lover as the smaller man arched forward into the taller form.

To out of breath and dazed at the pleasure coursing through his body to smirk at the brunettes inability to form a sentence Kakashi simply groaned and reached a hand down to stroke his lovers cock, soaking in Iruka's moan as he pushed the younger man closer to the edge.

Leaning forward Kakashi bit down on the dark skin, sucking it hard before moving to kiss his way down the coffee toned chest. The hot mouth closed over a dusky nipple and Iruka came with a shout, head falling back once more under the sensation.

Kakashi let his head fall back too, resting it against the headboard and groaning as Iruka's tight passage clenched around him, muscles rippling, sending searing hot pleasure coursing through his body.

Iruka's name fell from the pale lips as Kakashi came, thrusting up into the chuunin's tight heat once more before stilling, vaguely aware of Iruka finishing through the haze of pleasure as the slender form slumped forward bonelessly onto his.

Gasping as he came down Kakashi wrapped his arms around the smaller man, holding him close as they lay there, sprawled over the sheets and each other, panting for air.

"Holy damn"

Kakashi's breathless swear had Iruka chuckling in agreement. Grinning, Kakashi moved to stand, settling Iruka with a kiss, when the younger man made a noise in protest.

Walking to the bathroom, Kakashi quickly rinsed himself off before wetting a soft cloth and hurrying back to the bed. Gently he washed the smaller man, loving the way dark brown eyes focused on him, sleepily watching his every move as Iruka patiently waited for him to finish and come back to bed.

That thought had Kakakshi hurrying himself along, just tossing the wash cloth away so he could crawl in next to his lover, pulling the covers up over both of them as he settled down. Iruka's slender arms wrapping around the tall body as the brunette pulled them close and curled himself around Kakashi, sighing happily as he pressed his face into the hallow crook of the pale neck.

Wrapping his own arms around the slender form Kakashi settled back against the pillows, tangling his legs possessively around Iruka's as he pressed a soft kiss to the dark head, breathing in the wonderful scent that was Iruka before murmuring softly to the slumbering man.

"Goodnight Ruka, I love you"

A low hum came from the younger as he felt sharp teeth gently nip at his neck before the small brunette went completely lax in his arms,

L've you too Kashi"

Smiling softly Kakashi closed his eyes, completely content as he drifted off to sleep; Precious person safe in his arms.

**XoX**

**Aaaaaawwwwww wasn't that sickenly sweet? I think I need to go brush my teeth! *beams***

**Ok, hopefully that wasn't too bad, haha.**

**oh, and - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! - to me! *grins* as a self gift, I made a lemon pie (mmmm, pie)  
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** Omake – thingy…sorta…I think?**

The bed room door slammed shut, rattling in its frame under the force that could only be from being kicked closed.

Sharp eyes snapped open at that sound, almond shaped pupils slightly gazed from alcohol but still very alert.

Cackling to herself in a way so perverted it could have put Jiraiya-sama to shame Tsume carefully removed her arms from around the dreaming Bisuke and untangled her other limbs from the snoring mounds of fur.

Standing she crept over to the bedroom door, pressing her ear to it just in time to hear a loud, very sexy moan.

_Haha! I was right, trust Kashi to always be perverted with smexy little Ruka_

Another loud moan and the unmistakable of sucking had the sharp eyes widening as the Iunzuka pressed herself flush against the door.

_a-a blow job? Go Kashi! Damn, Ruka sounds sexy._

Pulling back from the wood frame Tsume glanced wildly around, searching for a vent, a window, a hole – something she could peek through! She couldn't open the door; Kakashi would notice and then she'd never get to listen to them have hot gay sex cause he'd chindori her ass out

Life was so unfair.

Though it brightened immensely when she spotted a patch of new paint, high up on the living room wall.

Grabbing the kitchen stools she stacked them under the spot – sure, chakra climbing would have been easier, but if the men in the other room sensed it – well, we've already been over that.

So, the old school approach it was – besides, she was taller now, so it would actually work - unlike when she was three – climbing up on the precariously balanced chairs Tsume ran sharp nails over the new patch of paint, obvious to the trained eye as it was darker than the rest of the sun faded room.

Since Kakashi trained in the living room on occasion he would end up putting holes through the walls from weapons flying from hands or ninjutsu's going off at the wrong times. From the look of it, the white haired Jounin had sent a chakra blade through his wall – no more than three days ago – then tried to plaster over it before his boyfriend could see.

Tsume grinned as her fingers pressed easily into the dry plaster.

There were many things Kakashi was – and a carpenter, was not one of them.

Grinning like the perverted maniac she was Tsume began clawing at the weak filling, watching as it crumbled like dry, powdery sand.

_Now, so long as the blade went all the why throu-_

There was a growl and a snort before the back of the Iunzuka's shorts were grasped between strong jaws and jerked backwards, their owner following close behind. The wild haired Jounin gave a small 'eep' as she tumbled off her perch to land hard on her rear.

"Son of a half dead, ant licking, plaid-wearing-"

Tsume's rather odd sting-on curse ended abruptly when she turned and came face to face with the large, growling – Bull.

The large jowls drawn back in a snarl, rows of sharp white teeth showing out nicely against the rest of the huge black body as the big dog took a step into the Kounichi's space.

Tsume froze.

She'd known Kakashi and his pack since before they'd started training and she knew that in that instant, she was in very deep shit. Since Bull had never developed the ability to speak, the huge mutt had strived to show his lover and loyalty in other ways.

It also meant, that in a situation like this – since he couldn't yell at someone like the rest of the pack – his reactions tended to be – more violent.

Tsume bolted, right when Bull pounced. It took every ounce of her training not to yell as the huge dog landed on her legs, pinning her while the large teeth sank into the back of her shirt.

Still growling Bull dragged the struggling woman backwards, pulling her over to the open coat closet by the front door, Tsume's eyes widening when she saw where she was being taken. Damn mutt! If he locked her in there she would be stuck while he told his pack, who in turn would tell their master, who would then tell his boyfriend, and then Iruka would –

Tsume blanched white fear and kicked out a leg to fight the black beast off – but she was too late. Bull simply dodged the blow before heaving her to the side, sending her sailing into the small room with a dull 'thud' and nosing the door closed before she could get up. Shutting the clan leader in the pitch black.

Staring at the door in shock for a moment before sighing, Tsume settle down against the closet wall, maybe if she got some sleep she'd be able to out run the two men in the morning and lay low till Ruka cooled off –

Ah, who was she kidding? She was screwed.

Sighing again Tsume huddled herself into one of the coats, staring listlessly at the door she could just sorta see in the dark – which had been chakra sealed, thanks to one overly clever mutt.

"Fuck"

…..

**Ok, so that's a bit too long to be a real omake – oh well, I though it up and had to write it down so I could go to sleep. And personally it's something I see Tsume doing.**

**So **_**now**_** that's it, though like I said I have some new some new stuff coming up, so, if you like my writings, stick around! Just don't hold your breath, I'm not that fast.**

**Chai! Rythum**

**(_BWT, I now have a new Iru/Ibi/Kashi story on the go. Its called 'Tirangles' and is on my profile page if your interested, check it out!)_  
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